I Need a Ride or Die

Her old name grated upon her, sounding wrong. At least out here even when she met someone who insisted on using the wrong pronouns they only had the name she gave them to go on…  "I’ve been staying with Surreal actually…" Her voice sounded too deep, too heavy in her head and she longed to slip into the much more natural register she had been operating in for the past few weeks. "She lives not far from here, with her kids… New pups included." A reflection of a real grin finally pushed through her fake one as she thought of the young ones, they didn’t know her very well yet but what little she had seen of them they were simply curious but accepting.

The conversation turned to her return and her reaction was instantaneous. Tail dropped along with her smile and she physically curled in upon herself slightly.  Unable to settle upon her haunches even as Laoch did so she shifted nervously, yet another habit she was developing. Dammit, Dammit! How could she explain to him that even if she returned right in this instant Ardal was never coming back. He had died somewhere between where his family stayed and here. "I don’t-" She shook her head, attempting to clear it and generate a competent answer. "I’m not-" She failed.