-1 “...aim to drive her left shoulder...” What part of her shoulder?
-2 “...aim to drive her left shoulder into his right flank (just behind his shoulder).” If she's dodging to her left, how can drive her left shoulder into his right side?
-2 “...she would also try to snap at the side of the boy.” Which side and where exactly? More specifics are needed here.
8 for powerplaying.
-1 “She made sure to be standing face to face with her partner...” Movements towards your opponent need to be attempted, you can't assume any move regarding them is successful.
-0 “The purple youth would then...” This is a dangerous statement to make. Try to avoid using conditionals in your fight posts, even if it's as simple as this one.
-1 “Should her blow be at all successful...” All of your attacks need to stand alone. You can't base one on the success of another. That's not fair to your opponent.
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen
5 for attack.
+2 shoulder throw
+3 bite
10 for injuries.
First round.
Absinthe's round one total: 37/50
SHRIKE: 6 for clarity:
-2 “...but not enough avoid her shoulder bump completely...” Where did her blow land? What kind of damage did he take from it?
-1 “He would also feel her jaws snap at his flank...” Where did her bite land?
-1 “...would seek to bite her left thigh...” Where on her left thigh?
10 for powerplaying.
None seen!
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
4 for attack.
+1 stomp
+3 bite
10 for injuries.
First round.
Shrike's round one total: 40/50
ROUND TWO
ABSINTHE: 6 for clarity:
-1 “...a paw stomping not so gently upon the toes of her right hind foot. ” He was aiming for her left back paw, so how did he reach her right?
-1 “...into the skin of her right thigh.” He was aiming for her left thigh, so how did he reach her right?
-1 “...into the skin of her right thigh.” Where exactly on her thigh? It's a fairly large area.
-1 “Teeth would try to snap at his right side again...” Where on his right side?
6 for powerplaying.
-1 “...a paw stomping not so gently upon the toes of her right hind foot. ” What damage did she take from this?
-1 “...into the skin of her right thigh.” What damage did she take from this? You need to specify otherwise damage will be assigned by the judge.
-1 “...one or two cursory attempts to inflict damage...” You can only use a body part once per post.
-1 I feel there was too much movement to your attacks this round.
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
-1 for not redistributing weight after rearing up
5 for attack.
+3 bite
+2 shove
8 for injuries.
-1 moderate bruising to toes (damage assigned by judge)
-1 moderate bruising to thigh (damage assigned by judge)
Absinthe's round two total: 34/50
SHRIKE: 7 for clarity:
-2 ”...feeling her teeth sink in his thigh once more.” Where on his thigh? Which thigh?
-1 “Her shove would have him stumbling at a side step...” Where did her shove land?
6 for powerplaying.
-1 ”...feeling her teeth sink in his thigh once more.” What damage did he take from this? I can't count ooc notes, damage has to be listed in the post itself.
-1 “Her shove would have him stumbling at a side step...” What damage did he take from this?
-2 “...snap his head at her left hindquarter now...” Is he headbutting or biting? And where on her left hindquarter is he hoping to strike?
7 for defenses.
+1 for each seen.
-1 for not redistributing weight after lifting paw
6 for attack.
+3 for hindquarter attack
+1 for paw swipe
7 for injuries.
-2 Severe bruising to thigh (damage assigned by judge)
-1 Mild bruising to side (damage assigned by judge
Shrike's round two total: 33/50
Totals:
ABSINTHE: 71/100 SHRIKE: 73/100
And the winner is...
SHRIKE! Absinthe must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Absinthe:
Awl the bruises will take 3 OOC days to heal.
Shrike:
Awl the bruises will take 5 OOC days to heal.
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For both: My notes are pretty much the same for both of you (there some in my judging too), so I'm gonna smush it all together. This fight was short, sweet and for the most part, simple! It got a little confusing at times; just remember to pay attention to your lefts and rights. They're very easy to confuse and it happens to everyone, so don't stress over this judging too much. I realize this was just a beginner spar for your characters, but you guys might want to experiment with more complex attacks in the future. You missed out on quite a few points by keeping it simple. Overall I think you guys did really well. It was a good fight!
