-1 “...rushing toward her opponent...” Is she coming at him head on? From the side?
-1 “Her body's position was altered to her own right...” This is a very vague statement and I'm not sure how Akemi is moving exactly.
-1 “...would get some scratches upon his leg.” Where on his leg?
-1 “Finally she sought to sink her jaws in for a firm hold upon the softer flesh of his belly on the right side, almost directly behind his right foreleg.” Is she reaching under him? Around him?
8 for powerplaying.
-2 “...rushing toward her opponent to close the distance between them.” and “...in lunging when she got close.” All movement towards your opponent needs to be attempted.
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
-1 for not redistributing weight after lifting paw
6 for attack.
+1 toe stomp
+1 clawing
+4 bite/grip
10 for injuries.
First round.
Akemi's round one total: 39/50
BACCHUS: 7 for clarity:
-1 “...her claws ran down his foreleg and she stomped on his paw.” Which foreleg/paw? Even if it's obvious I can't assume anything.
-2 “...rear part of his shoulder into her cheek right below her eye.” Which shoulder and which cheek?
10 for powerplaying.
None seen!
10 for defenses.
+1 for each to max of 10.
6 for attack.
+1 shoulder attack
+1 toe stomp
+4 bite/grip
10 for injuries.
First round.
Bacchus' round one total: 43/50
ROUND TWO
AKEMI: 7 for clarity:
-1 “...ducking down in an attempt to get under the male.” More details are needed here. What part of him is she trying to duck under?
-1 “She would feel his shoulder as it hit her side...” Which side and where?
-1 “...she would seek to snap her jaws up at the soft flesh of the underbelly, closer to the left side of the male...” Where exactly? That's a very large area?
9 for powerplaying.
-1 “She would wince as she felt his jaws close down upon her rump, right where her thighs began ” What damage did she take from this?
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen.
3 for attack.
+3 bite
7 for injuries.
-1 light bruising
-2 moderate bite wound (damage assigned by judge)
Akemi's round two total: 35/50
BACCHUS: 9 for clarity:
-1 I feel like his belly flop could have been a bite more detailed, it felt very vague so I'm making a general deduction for it.
9 for powerplaying.
-1 “He laid down.” As an attack this needs to be attempted.
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
5 for attack.
+2 belly flop
+3 attempt to worsen bite wound
9 for injuries.
-1 minor lacerations (damage assigned by judge)
Bacchus' round two total: 42/50
Totals:
AKEMI: 74/100 BACCHUS: 85/100
And the winner is...
BACCHUS! Akemi must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Akemi:
Light bruising will take 3 OOC days to heal
Moderate bite wound will take 1 OOC week to heal
Bacchus:
Minor lacerations will take 5 OOC days to heal
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For both: Most of my notes are in the deductions above. You both need to work on clarity; there was a vagueness to your posts that made for a difficult read, but don't be disheartened! Practice, practice, practice! Adding a few more specifics to your character's movements will bring your clarity score up. I also suggest you try more complex attacks to your posts. You're missing out on quite a few points by only doing one or two simple attacks per round. Really though, it was a good fight, guys! You both did well.
