Parentals

It seemed to take a long time for the brute to answer. Maybe it had, and maybe it hadn't, Esti wasn't sure. There was an unfamiliar easiness in her stomach. She was revealing herself, her weakest parts, to a wolf that, for lack of a better label, was a friend who was also and alpha and was also the father of their pup. The relationship was odd, but Esti didn't find a desire to try to chase Valentine harder or make him only love her. For the woman, it was simply a complicated relationship. It was hard to pin down in definition, but Esti wasn't sorry for it. She didn't like the consequences at first, but even that she had grow to love. A small part of the woman was glad to be able to talk, but a big part of her shouted at her, 'Stupid! What are you thinking? He'll think you're weak now and there's no way he would want you to raise his son here! But Ashmedai is OUR son! Not the way the pack sees it, and in your current state, you're just one challenge away from getting him taken away from you. Valentine wouldn't do that! You don't know that! But I do!'

She willed herself to stop speaking as the man spoke, telling her he understood, offering for her to take a vacation for a few days. It sounded really tempting, but she didn't know how to feel about the offer. She felt like she should and could trust Valentine, but at the same time, she was worried he's toss her aside. What was she to him, anyway? He had other lovers, other children, and surely he could toss them out, but Esti didn't really believe that he would. Her thoughts got ahead of herself, but her heart still believed in the brute. Was that lo- no, it couldn't be, of course not! If she really trusted him, she could take a vacation, escape the pack for a bit. It seemed scary to leave Ashmedai. Would he understand that she was coming back? Still, how long had it been since Esti had seen her brother, Laufey?

"Maybe..." she started, sounding doubtful and reluctant, even to her own ears. She thought she must be being too difficult and that Valentine would become angry with her if she tried to explain her feelings, which confused even her, further, "Maybe I will, but, I really only want you watching Ashmedai, if you can. I want you to give him even more love than usual and make sure he knows every day that I'll be coming back to him. Maybe it'll be good and I can... clear my head. Maybe I'll bring him something back-" the woman paused, a small smile coming to her lips, "How does a gator tail sound? Think I could get one on my own?" Esti tried to lighten the atmosphere. There was no way anyone could really understand how she felt, but she had to at least be thankful for Valentine listening this far. She decided she'd try to turn the conversation around, even if just for a minute, before they parted ways for the night and a final thank you was said. It might do them both some good to have a small laugh.

"Speech"
'thoughts'