-1 for not redistributing weight after lifting forepaw
10 for attack.
+2 for shoulder throw
+1 for maim attempt
+2 for paw stomp
+1 for maim attempt
+3 for bite
+1 for maim attempt
10 for injuries.
First round.
Cascade's round one total: 49/50
RHYTHM: 3 for clarity:
-2 “The other woman's claws were able to strike her inner two toes, causing an annoying scrape.” The toes of which paw?
-1 Where exactly did Cascade's bite land? You mentioned her hips and her lower back, but I think a touch more clarity is needed here.
-2 “Rhythm wanted to tilt her head to the right...” Whose right?
-2 “...attempted to grab with her top jaws the left side of Cas's lower spine, a few inches above her hips while Rhythm's lower jaws sought purchase on the right side parallel to her upper jaw. ” Since they are standing left side to left side, I'm assuming you got your lefts and rights confused here. If not, this is a very unrealistic move because to achieve it Rhythm would have to be biting from above or coming from Cascade's opposite side.
8 for powerplaying.
-2 “...stomp directly down at the woman's outer two toes.” and “For added measure she'd try to scrape her claws down Cas's right foreleg on their way into her stomp.” Since Rhythm is reaching for Cas' right forefoot and their standing left side to left side, I don't think it's very realistic for Rhy to be able to reach Cas' outer toes. Wolf legs also don't have a very wide range of motion and their side to side movements are very limited, and I think that largely negates the potential for these attacks. For realism I'm removing a 1 point from both the stomp and the scrape.
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
9 for attack.
+2 toe stomp
+1 maim attempt
+1 scrape
+2 shove
+3 bite
10 for injuries.
First round.
Rhythm's round one total: 40/50
ROUND TWO
CASCADE: 4 for clarity:
-2 “...so that her hindlegs swung to the right.” Whose right?
-2 “...her left foreleg attempting to grip in front of Rhythm's left hip...” How exactly is she hoping to place her foreleg? Is she reaching under Rhy and across her belly? Hooking her forefoot around Rhy's thigh?
-2 “...her right foreleg seeking to hook over Rhythm's back to grip in front of Rhythm's right hip...” Same as above. Is she using her forefoot to hook in front of Rhy's right thigh? Her elbow to hook into her side? Just draping her leg over her back?
8 for powerplaying.
-2 “Her left foreleg attempting to grip in front of Rhythm's left hip, and her right foreleg seeking to hook over Rhythm's back to grip in front of Rhythm's right hip...” I'm having a hard time picturing this. The elbow of the right foreleg and the awkward stretch required between her forelegs to make this move possible is what I'm struggling with, so I'm going to take off 1 point each for realism.
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
8 for attack.
+2 for chest slam
+2 for foreleg grip
+3 for bite
+1 for maim attempt
6 for injuries.
-1 for mild bruising to left shoulder
-1 for mild bruising to left side
-2 for moderate gashes to left hip
-1 for moderate bruising on toes
-1 for welts on foreleg
Cascade's round two total: 36/50
RHYTHM: 7 for clarity:
-3 ”Viciously the Destruction would want to leap for Cascade's tail.” How is she approaching? Is she running along Cascade's side? Arcing out and coming in for her target? This is a very vague statement and you definitely need more detail when setting up an attack.
8 for powerplaying.
-2 I feel like there's a bit too much movement in this post. If Cas is facing (and directly in line with) Rhy's left hip then when Rhy pivots away there would be roughly one wolf length between them. Rhy then has to close that distance to attack. Not only that but she has to run the length of Cas to get to her tail.
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
-1 for not redistributing weight after lifting paw
9 for attack.
+3 for bite
+1 for maim attempt
+2 for shoulder throw
+2 for toe stomp
+1 for maim attempt
5 for injuries.
-5 for broken tail
Rhythm's round two total: 38/50
ROUND THREE
CASCADE: 6 for clarity:
-2 “...her lower jaw seeking to hook beneath the jaw...” Where beneath her jaw? To the left of her windpipe or the right?
-2 “Turning her own head to her left she aimed to clasp her jaws around the side of Rhythm's throat at her jawline...” Which side of Rhy's throat? Is Cas reaching under Rhy's neck so that the right side of her face is turned up or is she reaching out and to her left but keeping the left side of her face turned up?
10 for powerplaying.
None seen!
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
8 for attack.
+2 for shoulder throw
+3 for bite
+2 for toe stomp
+1 for maim attempt
8 for injuries.
-2 for moderate wound to scruff
Cascade's round three total: 42/50
RHYTHM: 8 for clarity:
-2 "Rhythm aimed her top right side of her jaw at Cascade's top right side of her muzzle and jaws while Rhythm's lower jaws sought Cascade's lower right side jaw." It doesn't say in Cas' last post which side of her face is pointed up, but if it were and Rhy tipped her own head to her right so that the right side of her jaw was facing down then her upper jaw would be level with Cas' lower jaw and her lower jaw would be level with Cas' upper jaw.
9 for powerplaying.
-1 ”At the same time Rhythm would rock 80% of her weight to her hind legs as she attempted to rear up and grapple Cascade's neck.” I personally think this is too much movement and that it would be a stretch to intercept Cas' bite while rising up.
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
6 for attack.
+3 for bite
+1 for maim
+2 for neck grip
7 for injuries.
-1 for moderate bruising to shoulder
-2 for moderate gashes to gums and lips (damage from counter assigned by judge)
Rhythm's round three total: 40/50
Totals:
CASCADE: 127/150 RHYTHM: 118/150
And the winner is...
CASCADE! Rhythm must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out and Cascade has won the title of Et Uxor.
Damage:
Cascade:
Mild bruising to left shoulder, left side and toes: 3 ooc days to heal
Moderate gashes along left hip and moderate puncture wounds to scruff: 1 ooc week to heal
Mild welts to foreleg: 3 ooc days to heal
Rhythm:
Broken tail: 4 ooc weeks to heal
Moderate bruising to shoulder: 3 ooc days
Moderate gashes to gums and lips: 1 ooc week
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For both: Good fight guys! Most of my notes are in the deductions above. My suggestions are pretty much the same for the both of you. Clarity was the biggest issue I saw. I've said it before and I'll say it again: while you can definitely have too much detail I think it's better to have too much than too little.
