-2 “...just behind her jawbone...” Which side of her jawbone?
10 for powerplaying.
None seen!
8 for defenses.
+1 for each seen
0 for taunt lips because I personally don't consider that a defense.
-1 for not redistributing weight after lifting forefoot
5 for attack.
+1 for paw swipe
+2 for mild bite
+1 for grip attempt
+1 chest bump
10 for injuries.
First round.
Kyarst's round one total: 41/50
RHYTHM: 3 for clarity:
0 in the future you need to include the rounds/participants somewhere in your post.
-2 “...while he'd gain a lot of control of her face he wouldn't even puncture the skin.” Even if it was minimal, you need to list/take some kind of damage.
-2 “...as she tried to push into the right center of his chest to disrupt his balance.” What part of her body is she using?
-2 “Kyarst would also catch hold of the furriest part of her cheek...” Which cheek?
-1 “The girl would want to grab hold of the furred part below the right side of his lower jaw. ” How far below his lower jaw? Directly beneath it? A few inches? “The furred part” doesn't tell me much because he is (I assume xD) furred from head to toe.
10 for powerplaying.
None seen!
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
3 for attack.
+1 for scratching
+1 for chest bump
+1 for grip
10 for injuries.
First round.
Rhythm's round one total: 36/50
ROUND TWO
KYARST: 7 for clarity:
-2 “...in attempt to jolt all of his weight forward and into the left center of her chest.” What part of his body is he using for this?
-1 “...hoping to pull her with him given his hold on her cheek.” I'm not sure if this is an attack or not. What is he hoping to accomplish? To off balance her?
4 for powerplaying.
-2 “As he adjusted his balance he felt a tugging at the thick fur around his neck, particularly in the area just behind and below where his jaws fused on his right side.” Even if it was minimal, you need to list/take some kind of damage.
-2 “...hoping to pull her with him given his hold on her cheek.” You have to attempt to maintain a hold.
-2 “In his motion he would bite down harder on the fur he'd managed to snag and attempt to shake his jaws enough to jostle her head and possibly pull out some fur in the process.” This should have been an attempt
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen
0 for exposed teeth/gaping jaws
4 for attack.
+1 for face pulling
+1 for chest bump
+2 for mild bite/head shake
6 for injuries.
-1 for mild bruising to chest
-1 for worsening of bruise
-1 for mild bruising to neck (damage assigned by judge)
-1 for mild lacerations
Kyarst's round two total: 30/50
RHYTHM: 7 for clarity:
-1 “Using the paw that was still lifted...” Which paw? Nowhere in your post did you restate which paw is being used.
-2 “She'd aim to stomp the two two inner toes on Kyarst's right foot.” Front or back?
10 for powerplaying.
None seen!
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen
0 for exposed teeth
7 for attack.
+2 for stomp
+1 for maim attempt
+3 for bite
+1 for grip attempt
8 for injuries.
-1 for moderate bruising to chest
-1 mild lacerations to face
Rhythm's round two total: 41/50
Totals:
Kyarst: 71/100 Rhythm: 77/100
And the winner is...
RHYTHM! Kyarst must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Kyarst:
Moderate bruising to chest: 3 ooc days to heal
Mild bruising to neck: 3 ooc days to heal
Mild lacerations to foreleg: 3 ooc days to heal
Rhythm:
Moderate bruising to chest: 3 ooc days to heal
Mild lacerations to face: 3 ooc days to heal
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For Andy: Your first post was very vague and I feel like you scraped by with the bare minimum, but your second was definitely more detailed and organized. The second was also your most costly and assuming Kyarst automatically got to keep his hold is what did you in. I suggest leaving nothing to the imagination in your posts. It can be hard to find a balance between clarity and power playing, but as long as you're very clear about what your character is doing and you assume nothing about your opponent, you shouldn't have a problem.
For Kat: I can definitely see an improvement in your fights! You're doing really well. Keep practicing and trying new combos and whatnot. Same as my judging of the Rhy/Cas challenge, I think more detail would really help your score. Leave nothing assumed and state/restate everything.
