what're we fighting for?

The black form of the Hellboy seemed to waver as it once more reached the lands of Alacratia.

He hadnt meant to return here at all. Hadnt meant to survive the journey je had begun in the depths of winter. Having buried his only friend and his nephew in the same day, he had stumbled upon the frozen body of his younger brother as he had wandered the north. Baldur, always such a fool but the only one of them that had somehow remained so good, so bright despite everything that had happened to them. That light was gone from the world now, and as he had bloodied and blunted his claws chipping a hole in the frozen geound large enough to bury him Hati had made rhe unconscious decision to leave.

And so he had wandered again.

North, out of the lands of Alacratia. Into lands increasingly too familiar. The home that had never been home.

He had trespasses into the lands of the pack that was rightfully his without care, to find a pack in shambles but still holding together purely out of fear of the males who had been his uncles.

They ambushed him.

He tore them apart.

With Vili dead, throat torn and his lifeblood flowing as his older brother had died so long ago, Hati slowly dismembered a still-living, shrieking Ve. The terrible things Ve had done tore out of the mental blocks in Hati's mind to parade gleefully before him. All the enemy males Ve had tortured, the runaway he had punished so gleefully, and... Baldur's girl. Hati couldnt remember her name but he could remember the raid after Hroovitnir had learned of his pale son's supposed betrayal, could remember the girl's face if nothing else. Irrationally he blamed that moment for everything that had come after, and in a frenzy he tore into the screaming body of the wolf he had once called uncle.

As he stood within the gruesome aftermath he felt... gone. He had harbored the hope that he would be free of his demons having finally destroyed the last remnants of them. Instead he hust felt consumed by them, the mental barriers fallen and the memories all clamoring for attention, shrieking at him abd overwhelming him, all the while Ve giggled madly at him.

"I killed you," Hati had said fully, not sure if he cared. "Spectacularly," the other male agreed, then shrieked with laughter before vanishing. "Come with me," the whisper of his father's voice demanded, yellow eyes gleaming a moment in the shadows to the south before vanishing again.

Hati refused to obey the spectre but yet still inevitably found himself travelling south no matter how many times he changed direction.

And now he stood here.

For a moment the red fog in his mind lifted and he was dizzy with confusion. Why couldnt he remember reentering Alacratia? How had he gotten here? Perched on his back with his paws clasped around Hati's neck Ve giggled slyly, and Hati ducked his head irritably away from the hot breath in his ear, and the dig of the smaller male's claws into crusted wounds on his hips and back. Daegmar... she was gone. Her children were gone. Why was he here? Why had he been drawn back to the last place he had seen her?

Why did the deep, brassy call erupt from his throat, calling for her though he knew she was gone? The lonely, painful wail of an injured animal just looking for comfort and protection. He didnt even consider that his call might draw curiosity or unwanted attention. He hadnt considered the call at all, it had just torn itself free of his throat unbidden. Where was his mask? He had lost it sometime after he had killed his uncles, or had it been before? Without it he felt naked, exposed, as he paced the very edge of the territory with a kind of indecisive madness. Spittle frothed at his lips as he champed his jaws and swung his heavy head slowly and his bloodied paws tore up the ground. Where was he? He couldnt remember. "I killed you," he muttered blankly once again to Ve, who grinned at danced before disappearing with a cackle.