Aftermath
07-16-2015, 08:13 PM
At Valen's words, and his touch, she blinked at him in surprise and - yes - gratitude. She relaxed into his affection and confidence in her. She had confidence in herself, she knew what she was capable of and she knew how to apply it, but to know that Valentine had confidence in her as well was strangely invigorating. She took a deep breath and let it out contentedly, surprised at the rush of pride she took in his words. No one had ever really... expressed any sort of opinion that she was worth much of anything before - not her mother, not Neios, and most certainly not Nausica - so she'd always just sort of done without the need for any sort of outside ego boost. It felt... really good.
Oh wait, she was forgetting something - namely, the whole point of this conversation. She went to bump him affectionately with her shoulder - oh ouch no, fuck, bite wounds - and settled instead for swiping her tongue affectionately across his muzzle. "Damnit Valen, stop being adorable so I can concentrate."
She ruthlessly remarshaled her thoughts and went back to Super Serious Cascade. "I wanted to talk to you about what this rank means for us." She gave another internal wince, knowing that sounded like she was fishing for some kind of emotional assurance, which was exactly what she was trying to prevent with this conversation. It was surprisingly hard to concentrate when she was bleeding everywhere. Stupid body. Pay attention, Cas!
"So here's the deal. I don't want to be your wife. I don't want to be your one-and-only, lawfully wedded and all that. Hell I don't even believe in matrimony, or monogamy. Me being loyal to you has nothing to do with obligation or promises or... Well anyway. I want you to keep on doing what you're doing because it makes you happy - I assume anyway - and I care about your happiness way more than I care about anyone else's stupid feelings. I wanted to tell you this because..." she trailed off a little bit, a bit lost and flustered in her speech from the ache in her hip and neck. "... because I was afraid you'd feel like you would need to pretend to be in love with me or something and you'd feel trapped and unhappy and that would make me unhappy and maybe it's a little selfish of me but I don't want you to be put in some stupid emotional cage."
She blinked. "Wow, that all sounded very confusing and stupid. Long story short I care about you and want to help you and the idea of you being trapped by stupid social things makes me want to bite something and I wanted to make sure you and I were on the same page and you weren't expecting me to demand something like that. You are my best friend I have ever had, Valen, and I want to make sure you're happy." She smirked. "And help you take over the world. That seems like something fun to try."
Oh wait, she was forgetting something - namely, the whole point of this conversation. She went to bump him affectionately with her shoulder - oh ouch no, fuck, bite wounds - and settled instead for swiping her tongue affectionately across his muzzle. "Damnit Valen, stop being adorable so I can concentrate."
She ruthlessly remarshaled her thoughts and went back to Super Serious Cascade. "I wanted to talk to you about what this rank means for us." She gave another internal wince, knowing that sounded like she was fishing for some kind of emotional assurance, which was exactly what she was trying to prevent with this conversation. It was surprisingly hard to concentrate when she was bleeding everywhere. Stupid body. Pay attention, Cas!
"So here's the deal. I don't want to be your wife. I don't want to be your one-and-only, lawfully wedded and all that. Hell I don't even believe in matrimony, or monogamy. Me being loyal to you has nothing to do with obligation or promises or... Well anyway. I want you to keep on doing what you're doing because it makes you happy - I assume anyway - and I care about your happiness way more than I care about anyone else's stupid feelings. I wanted to tell you this because..." she trailed off a little bit, a bit lost and flustered in her speech from the ache in her hip and neck. "... because I was afraid you'd feel like you would need to pretend to be in love with me or something and you'd feel trapped and unhappy and that would make me unhappy and maybe it's a little selfish of me but I don't want you to be put in some stupid emotional cage."
She blinked. "Wow, that all sounded very confusing and stupid. Long story short I care about you and want to help you and the idea of you being trapped by stupid social things makes me want to bite something and I wanted to make sure you and I were on the same page and you weren't expecting me to demand something like that. You are my best friend I have ever had, Valen, and I want to make sure you're happy." She smirked. "And help you take over the world. That seems like something fun to try."
