HYPNOS vs VREL for SPAR
ROUND ONE
HYPNOS
CLARITY |
- 2 “aim to bit his opponent’s side belly” (Where? Ribs, behind the ribs underneath, side? Be very clear where you’re aiming those chompers!)
- 2 “Tail smack” (If you are shoulder slamed to Vrel, how is this possible? Did you curve to be able to reach his eyes with your tail?)
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Total: 6 |
DEFENSES |
+ 1 (ears) + 1 (eyes) + 1 (head) + 1 (chin) 1 (neck) + 1 (weight) + 1 (shoulders) + 1 (stance) + 1 (tail) + 1 (claws)
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Total: 10 |
ATTACK |
+ 2 left to left shoulder slam
+ 3 bite to belly
+ 0 tail smack
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Total: 5 |
INJURIES |
- First round!
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Total: 10 |
Total for Round One: 41 / 50
VREL
CLARITY |
- 2 “then he would attempt to bite” (I had a very hard time following your post with all the “hes”. Make sure to use names and make it very clear who you are talking about to avoid confusion!)
- 2 “the other male’s tail would cloud the vision of his left eye” (How? Didit hit directly? Are you just looking through the fur? What happened?)
- 2 “Vrel would dodge to the right” (How? How far did he go? Is he still facing Hypnos? What diagonal are they facing, or are they headon?)
- 2 “Whatever attack he was intending to make miss” (What moves? How’d they miss? You must be VERY clear, especially in dodges)
- 2 “grazed the side of his stomach” (What side? Where along the stomach? Over the ribs? Closer to the hind legs? Closer to the under belly?)
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Total: 0 |
POWERPLAY |
- 2 “His front paw would work it’s way over to the male’s left hind paw and lift up to come down hard for a paw slam” (You must ALWAYS write a very clear attempt for every attack.)
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Total: 8 |
DEFENSES |
+ 1 (legs) + 1 (toes) + 1 (claws) + 1 (tail) + 1 (head) + 1 (shoulders) + 1 (eyes) + 1 (ears) + 1 (teeth)
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Total: 9 |
ATTACK |
+ 2 tail bite
+ 1 paw slam
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Total: 3 |
INJURIES |
- First round!
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Total: 10 |
Total for Round One: 30 / 50
ROUND TWO
HYPNOS
CLARITY |
- 2 “he would stumble a bit” (Where did he stop in relation to Vrel? What position are they in?)
- 2 “Shifting his body closer to the left” (How? Is he bent in two? How exactly is he reaching for this bite?)
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Total: 6 |
POWERPLAY |
- 2 “to redirect his bite to the…” (Must ALWAYS write a clear attempt. “To” is not an attempt word)
- 2 To lift his left forepaw and stomp down” (Attempt attempt attempt attempt)
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Total: 6 |
DEFENSES |
+ 1 (weight) + 1 (knees) + 1 (eyes) + 1 (ears) + 1 (toes) + 1 (shoulders) + 1 (claws) + 1 (hackles) + 1 (lips)
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Total: 9 |
ATTACK |
+ 3 bite to stomach
+ 1 paw slam
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Total: 4 |
INJURIES |
- 2 moderate bite to middle of tail
- 2 paw slam
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Total: 6 |
Total for Round Two: 31 / 50
VREL
CLARITY |
- 2 “On his stomach but nearer to his back legs” (Why? Vrel didn’t move at all. Why did the attack land elsewhere?)
- 2 “To suddenly move close to the boy’s left” (where exactly? How? What exact movement did you do?)
- 2 “For a body slam” (Where? Where are you aiming? With what part of your body? Chest, side, shoulder? What part are you trying to hit?)
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Total: 4 |
DEFENSES |
+ 1 (claws) + 1 (weight)
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Total: 2 |
ATTACK |
+ 2 body slam
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Total: 2 |
INJURIES |
- 2 moderate lacerations to belly
- 1 paw slam
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Total: 7 |
Total for Round Two: 25 / 50
Totals:
HYPNOS |
41 + 31 = 72 / 100
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And the winner is...
HYPNOS |
Vrel must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out.
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Damage:
HYPNOS |
- Moderate lacerations to middle of tail – 2 OOC weeks
- Fracture/strain to back left toes – 2 OOC weeks to heal fully
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NAME |
- Moderate lacerations to right side of stomach – 2 OOC weeks to heal fully
- Strain to back right paw – 1 OOC week to heal
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Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
Keno | Hey Kenobb! You did very well in this spar but I do have some tidbits I'd like to pass off to you, for you to work on. First of all, clarity. Make absolute sure that every move you make is absolutely clear, and what your position is in realitive to your opponent. Any time you leave any space to guess, means your opponent can fill in that space. Make sure its clear, where you're attacking, how you're moving, ect ect. Also, you MUST make sure every attack is an attempt. You must seek, hope, attempt, try to bite into skin, or to even move around your opponent. Anything without a clear attempt is a Powerplay. Keep workin on it!
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Frost | Hey frost! First off, I wanted to say I know you probably don't have very much experiance with our fight system here, and you did well despite it! It might make things more clear if you review the Fighting pages in the guidebook, just so you are absolutely sure what is required. I'd love to see you work on your clarity and making sure you have all your defenses in every post. You MUST make sure every movement you make is clear. You cannot just say "He moved to the right", because..it's not very clear how? Be careful with your dodges! Make sure you say exactly how you dodged, right down to where your paws were, as well as a clear why the attacks missed or fell else where. Even if you have to write a novel for a post to make sure everything is very clear, have atter. Most spars require longer posts because of the different clarity requirements.
Keep workin at it, I cannot wait to see your future fights.
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- By [Arin]
