Challenged for Ludicael (Ulrike)

Ulrike Vs. Pepper for Ludicael Round 1 Ulrike: -9 for clarity- Make sure you stay in the right Tense through the whole post. Some places you used past, others you used present.How is he leaping and landing properly if he was protecting his belly? Also...where is he trying to bite her? You have got to be specific. -5 for powerplaying. If he is trying to bite her you can not say it is impossible to reach his head. It is right there by her. -7 for defenses. You didn't state anything except that his head was impossible to reach (which it wasn't) and that his legs were protecting his underbelly, well okay, but this only works some of the time. -8 for attack. How did he get behind her if he went head on? Doubtfully would a wolf (with a bad leg) be able to jump over a full grown female. -0 for injuries.First round Round one Ulrike Total:21/50 Pepper: -10 for clarity- 'In moving her hind end away from him put her in the perfect position to launch herself into his side' You need to make sure you're sentences flow and make sense, they can cause confusion if we have to re-read to figure things out. Where are her claws aiming? You said they were making an attack...but made no description as to where. Also, you need to always explain where you are in relation to the other. Okay, she stepped to the right when he jumped, but, where was she? On his right side by his head? By his rear? Clarify please! -2 for powerplaying. You really didn't powerplay much, but vague descritpion as mentioned above can make it harder for the other person. -7 for defenses. You didn't really list any defenses in your post... -4 for attack. Your attacks were pretty understandable, but I have to subtract from you because, your clarity really messes with the plausibility of them. -0 for injuries. First round Round one Pepper Total:27/50 Round 2 Ulrike: - 7 for clarity-retaining the issue with trading past tense. Don't switch from would be doing to is doing to will do...it throws us off, and sometimes, especially when attacking, it can be read as powerplaying. Example of it: 'he calculated out things that could happen but most likely won't.' How...if he is turning his head towards his stomach to keep her from biting it is he now dashing towards her? That makes no sense. There would be no room to run. -9 for powerplaying. He completely jumped over a full grown wolf...again...without even an attempt and did so without a true running start? There was no distance between them, he would not have been successful. -8 for defenses. Same as last time, for the most part. And added point, because, shifting his weigth in the air would do nothing to protect his stomach.... -8 for attack. Never Use the word would, unless you've made an attempt, How is he running after her, he is right on the other side. -3 for injruies. Minor damage, but this plays a lot on clarity. Damage should not have been dealt there. Round two Ulrike Total:15/50 Pepper: -3 for clarity- He was jumping over her back to my knowledge? So, he should be to the side. -4 for powerplaying. Just be clear a little bit more on your attacks and the fact they are attempts. You didn't really list any defenses in your post...Also, you need to be careful of direction and the angle your wolf can move towards his. -7 for defenses- Failure to really elaborate on how she is protecting herself. -3 for attack. Effective and noticeable, nice, you went for what was acceptable. -2 for injuries. I don't believe you should be deduced in points for not letting him scratch her face when realistically he couldn't from the angle he was in, but other than that good job. You took a fair injury. Round Two Pepper Total:30/50 Round 3 Ulrike: -6 for clarity- Sentence structure almost unmanagable to read in the first sentence. Tense confusion. -3 for powerplaying. unrealistic defense...you made her character not be able to get you for not properly responding. -6 for defense.makes no sense... character would have fallen over if that had been done. I just experimented on my dog to find out XD -6 for attack. Bite to the tail is acceptable but counter attack not acceptable -5 for injuries. full dodge used but the likely hood of him swiping at her face with any paws and keeping his balance is slim to none. You get half credit, -10 would have been the original. Round Three ?Ulrike ?Total:25/50 Pepper: -4 for clarity- Not too clear on exactly how she moved to make him catch her tail. Few grammatical errors that had me wondering what was going on. -0 for powerplaying. Ulrike did just what Tero said he would do. -2 for attack. Unique attack plan that covered multiple possibilities, just a little off for detail -4 for injuries. Not a vital spot, but would be painful. -8 for defenses. Didn't plan for balance. Defense lacks details. Round Three Pepper Total:34/50 Round 4 Ulrike: -1 for clarity- I understood it all, but some of it was illogical. -3 for powerplaying.Minor. Can't really say what you just won't do to someone. -7 for defense.Needs to be more elaborate. -4 for attack.Attacking the Tail really isn't as major as one would think. Smarts, but that's really it. You won't make someone drop from that. Also keep in mind, wolves can't really, pull at things when they claw...they won't ever cause gashes this way, scrapes and minor scratches /maybe/ -4 for injuries. Awkward placement. Round Four Ulrike ?Total:31/50 Pepper: -2 for clarity-Fair, minor tense change. -1 for powerplaying Not bad, just watch your wording. -10 for defenses. Paws really won't be much of a defense. -6 for attack.Face or throat? Two different areas...specification needed. -3 for injuries. Adequate. Round Four Pepper Total:29/50 Round 5 Ulrike: -3 for clarity- Honestly, the entire first paragraph has be confused a bit. -3 for powerplaying.You didn't really powerplay that much this time, but you moved too much, which essentially is powerplaying, you can't throw your body around so much without adequately considering what the other will do. -10 for defense.Not listed. "he kept his neck and underbelly from her getting to it" Not really a defense, more fo a proportional counter, defenses need to cover lots of bases. -4 for attack.Not bad at all, but if her jaws are open, chances are he won't clamp both, is he going for her upper set, or lower set? this is also a really risky attack, because if he bites, she can return the favor. -5 for injuries. You took damage she was aiming to apply, but...how was it on his side? Be specific if you meant the side of the face. Round Five?Ulrike ?Total:25/50 Perpper -4 for clarity- Pretty clear for the most part, really you just needed to explain if these were left, right, head on. Where did she hit the ground in comparison to him? -0 for powerplaying. Sounded overall, very clear. -10 for defenses. Lost all by lowering herself before him. -9 for attack. I like the uniqueness of it, and trying to trip him, but first of all, how? I like the attempt to break, but anytime in a fight, when a wolf hits the ground, they open themself up for way too much damage. -3 for injuries. Adequate. Round Five Pepper Total:24/50 Round 6 Ulrike: -10 for clarity- " He moved out of the way but his leg did get cut open a bit by her teeth." Well...I would rephrase that as he attempted to move out of the way...If he is trying to bite her you can not say it is impossible to reach his head. It is right there by her. "Ulrike saw she was on the ground he did not stop and leaped a bit in the air and aimed him self parallel to her from above." I really don't know if I'm getting a vertical wolf, or one that is doing the superman. Tense problems. How is he slicing downards depending on how parallel he is? How is he taking all this time to attack...the rate of gravity is -9.8 Seconds per second, he would not have time to be planning all this unless he can jump like 10 ft in the air, and he has a bad leg which inhibits his ability to jump. -4 for powerplaying." If she was to stand up he would land on her if she stayed laying down he still would land on her. " Not necessarily. Especially with the lack of sense this makes. -8 for defenses.You didn't really state anything...how do you do half of this without being on the ground. -8 for attack. It's just really unrealistic, he is moving far too much. -5 for injuries.There was no recollection that he actually was harmed...he just got his leg bitten? Round Six Ulrike Total:15/50 Pepper -10 for clarity- You have got to include rights and lefts. you have got to say how she is doing everything, not just that she /is/. -4 for powerplaying. She should be face to face attempting to get to his side not just at his side. -7 for defenses. Full dodge means you take no damage, not that your defenses are covered. -6 for attack. How is she attacking his side? -0 for injuries. Full dodge used. Round Six Pepper Total:23/50 Round 7 Ulrike: -10 for clarity-Which side did he turn to? How massive was the turn? Where, in relation to her, is he? How did he get behind her? where are these cuts? -4 for powerplaying.Too much movement. -7 for defenses.Not elaborate enough. -6 for attack.Deduction for moving too much, attack is semi-okay. -5 for injuries.I don't understand the damage taken with the huge movements you had him make. Round Seven Ulrike Total:18/50 Pepper -10 for clarity-I don't understand how she jumped? Like...straight up? Because she could have just lurched forward. On his back...wolves don't do that in real fights. And if he was behind her, as you even notied, did she levitate upwards and glide /backwards/ onto his back? Bite where? Also, wolves can't sink their claws into opponents. They can scratch lightly, like a dog, but it won't be a cat like thing where they like peel flesh. -5 for powerplaying. Really honestly lost here, she moved out of his reach onto his back. That just...doesn't give Ulrike a full advantage.. -10 for defenses. Wolves can't jump over eachother in such a short space, and will not aim to do so. -10 for attack. Unrealistic. -6 for injuries. You dodged last round. Round Seven Pepper Total:9/50 Totals: Ulrike: 150/350 Pepper:176/350 And the winner is... Pepper! Ulrike must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage: Ulrike-Minor scathing and bites to both sides-soreness and probable issues of running or heavy movement for 1 OOC week. Muscle inflamation in his damaged leg for 2 OOC weeks due to pulling and general over exertion. Pepper Scratching on chest, shoulders, and sides that will remain sore for 1 OOC week. Major scarring on tail. Pain for 1 OOC week, permanent scarring. Notes: Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here) Both of you really need some grammatical work, A lot of times, I am having issues keeping up with sentences because of spelling, improper punctuation, or sentences being generally jumbled up. It really needs to be something you pay attention to. If a word looks wrong, look it up, make sure you refer to google or ask someone about a comma rule if it seems a little off. If you need help figuring out if a sentence makes sense, then don't hesitate to do so. Granted in a fight, we can't assist you. I really suggest doing some spars (both of you) Because I do see quite a few things of improvement. Of course, I'm certain you aren't the only ones. The main thing fighting wise you have got to work on, is setting defenses guys. You lost so many points on those. Also, the defensive actions/injuries/attack with notes you do at the bottom, i don't score what's in those. Those are just like clarification of what you should have put in the post. For Tero Your main issue in the grammar area is not staying in the proper tense. So many times you completely switched to past, present, and future, without a plausible reason for transferring. I would understand if there were flashbacks or something that pertained here, but there wasn't and I am a bit lost. Truthfully, it just made it harder to comprehend. Also, you really really need to watch the powerplaying, you've constantly got your wolf doing things like...jumping over a full grown wolf by getting a running start and it has a bad leg. See the problem? Wolves don't do backflips. For Secret You really Aren't doing SO bad, you're spelling needs some work, but you've improved so much. I would suggest really slowing down, and making sure it's all good, try asking if you need help spelling, no one will condemn ya, I make spelling errors like a baws from typing too fast. I would also, highly reccomend, being more aggressive in fights. You are by nature somewhat of a tentative writer, which is not a bad thing at all! it's just your style, but yes, just work on remembering, this is a fight, she has to win. she has to be vicious. she is defending what she wants, and her honour.

Pepper will fight the winner of Thane x Jupiter, after the admins decide what we are going to do about that fight. It got made a bit unrealistic, so we are going to figure something out.