This One Time I Bumped Into You

She had come away from her lesson regarding the birds and the bees with Regulus hoping he had taken everything to heart. Now she wandered the plains, deep in thought, paws automatically following the old patrol routes. Her senses remained alert, part of the training Cormalin had drilled into her from the very beginning of her mentorship under him. She had taken her son’s words regarding the issue of Amalia, Athena and Falk, and his possible surrogacy as a donor to heart. She hated this. Hated that she had to feel this way. Why couldn’t Athena have been male? "Cén fáth go bhfuil sé seo cac a bheith chomh crua ..." The grumble came under her breath as her tail lashed irritably behind her.

For Gods’ sake, it was a simple yes or no answer, but either way she went, she would hurt. If she said no, she would always wonder if Amalia would ever find another donor for the children she so sorely wanted. If she said yes? If she said yes, would she ever be able to stand being around Falk again, knowing that he had sired children with someone other than herself, even if that someone was family? Her paws fell onto the track that led up into Alsander’s old den, in its hillside overlook. She would be happy for Amalia, yes… But for herself? A leader must put all before herself, even if it means her own happiness. She had wrestled with this for a week, by now, and had lost sleep over it.

Her haunches settled on the stony ledge outside the den. She’d been sleeping here since Falk had come to her with the proposition. Would he have asked, if he had known how upset she would be? He had asked only because Athena and Amalia were family. That was one of the only things saving him from being kicked out of Surreal’s life. She would never bar him from his children, no, but from herself, yes, she would have. The other was that she truly did love him. With all of her heart. Maybe this was why it hurt so very, very much.

Mismatched blue and gold eyes scanned the plains below, while her thoughts continued to swirl and race, chasing their own tails in some places. She couldn’t think about this forever. The season only lasted so long. Finally, she sighed, tipping her head up and calling for her mate. The path up to this place was steep, and narrow, but he was, by now, familiar with every inch of the entire area, so far as she was aware. He would be fine getting up here.

Walk ---- "Speak" ---- "Hear" ---- Think