Where Can I Stab Myself In The Ears
His heart felt heavy. Heavy as lead within his chest. He felt like everything he was doing was wrong, and the Gods only knew if what he was thinking, what he was feeling, was right. It almost felt like his children wanted to abandon him, to leave and never return. Cypress would breathe in, a soft sigh passing his lips. He hated this feeling, Gods above he hated feeling like this. It was like there was someone taking a knife and stabbing it right through his heart. Cypress would rise from his den. There was going to be no sleep tonight, he just had a feeling. He would leave the area of the caves he now slept in alone. His claws would click slightly upon the ground as he padded along, his ears flicked back, his gaze downcast. He felt the heavy burden of the world upon his shoulders. He felt alone. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do anymore... But he was so tired of this feeling. So tired of feeling like this. It had been like this since the day of the deathmatch and had merely lingered since that day. Marina’s time was drawing closer and closer, and soon she would take the mantel on her lonesome. It was spring, spring that he would leave things in her care alone. Cypress would come to a stop just outside of the whispering caves, yet another sigh passing his lips. He would gaze up at the sky, speaking to the Gods. “Have you forsaken me?” Cy would ask. “Have I done something so terribly wrong that you feel it right to punish me so? What have I ever done? What has Arian ever done?” But there was no answer to his questions other than the lonely wind. |
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There was a soft whisper, the voice of his son as he dared try to comfort him. Cypress would glance towards the child. He would close his eyes, daring to think on his son’s words. Razor had followed the religion his mother set out for them, much like the majority of his siblings. He would draw comfort from Razor’s presence. Every word his young son spoke, every word that left his lips, made the burden on Cypress’ heart feel a little lighter. He would breathe in, giving a small nod. “I suppose that you are right, Razor.” Cypress would speak softly. “I know all of us are missing your mother right now... I just... I feel so broken without her. So knocked down. It’s like I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.” The man would let another sigh escape his lips. “I’m scared of change... Razor. I’m setting up this pack for Marina and for what? What am I going to do when those of you who choose leave come spring?” Cy’s ears would fall, tears forming in his eyes. “I’m so tired of all of this... It hurts... Gods above it hurts... And I just want to give up and lay down.” He would let his gaze return to the heavens. “I want to be beside your mother, and be where she is...” Cypress would swallow hard. “I just don’t know what path is right anymore.” |
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Cypress would listen to his young son and the words of wisdom that the youth had to share. His words were true. Life couldn’t exist without fear. There would always be shadows of doubt within the minds of those who lived. There would always be the “evil” ones haunting the “good”. In a sense life couldn’t continue on without negativity in general... Not just fear. There was more likely than not something routed even deeper to Cypress’ not wanting to change. Cy would give a thoughtful flick of his tail as his son continued. Setting up this pack... Just to walk away from it all? He would let his mind slide to Arian, and what she would think. Surely she’d want her mate and pups to stay together. Home was not necessarily where a pack was... But instead where your heart found sanctuary. A sigh would pass Cypress’ lips. “I don’t know, Razor.” He would begin. “Something is going to happen soon... I have a feeling in my bones. Something bad... Things... Things aren’t over.” He would turn his head, gently hugging his son’s body close to his own. “Maybe I’m losing it... Giving in to paranoia... But something just doesn’t seem right anymore. I’m going to wait until this feeling passes and... If it does... I will head to Fiori.” The brute would lift his head skyward, giving a soft whine. “I want you to promise me something...” He’d say, his voice low. “No matter what happens... You children stay together. A family is only as strong as the ties that bond it together.” Somewhere deep within Cypress had already made up his mind. He was going to find Sin... and only one would walk away when he did. |