Why are there stars?
She was always restless, the little Frost angel. Her energy came in bursts, and she crashed often through the day after whatever excitement had taken her fancy. She just wished the night could unfold in the same kind of way. Take a nap when she was sleep, then wake a few hours later refreshed and ready for excitement. Instead, she woke to silence and the stars. She sighed and wriggled her way out from her mothers paws to sit a few steps away from her cozy family. It looked like everyone was sleeping and she knew she would get into trouble if she made any noise.
She did debate sneaking away, but she had pulled that stunt a lot over the last few days and she wouldn't be surprised if her daddy had started to sleep with one eye open. No doubt trying that now would only cut her fun short and she didn't want to be dragged back to bed just yet. She collapsed on the soft grass away from the overpowering warmth and presence of her immediate family and looked up at the stars that overpowered the night sky. There wasn't even a single cloud to mess up the lights of the glittering, shinning, spots.
Astrea felt restless again, well maybe not again, she always felt restless, felt like she was failing both little Illume and Volt when she was home instead of out there looking for not just one of her nieces but both... The other had chased after her sister, driven by guilt more than likely and that was also Astrea's fault... Would she ever be good enough for her family? Would she always try to fix one family member and then come find that another had just fell apart without the Star Dreamer even sensing it? Astrea got up then, she had moved back to her perch, it was not as secluded as it normally was with the family sleeping much closer then normally but even so Astrea still could not seem to go to them for warmth and comfort... It seemed that no matter how much she put herself out in the open she was still in the shadows, her internal star forever separated from the others... Loneliness hit the Star Dreamer then, like nothing else Astrea felt so alone, even when she was in the mist of her family, even when she was shown great affection, she still felt the outsider, like she did not belong with them, here on this earth with them... Astrea blew out a breath and then moved, wanting to see her siblings if not join them, she needed to remind herself why she could not just sprout wings and go to the stars like she wished to do... But as she neared her family a movement caught her eye. A small shape moved, she moved a short distance away from the group and then plopped down in disgruntled dejection. With a small smile Astrea moved forward then and settled near the girl. She remembered the day the girl was born, saw the swirling colors in her mind, saw the energies that was this child's gift... Astrea sat next to the child, her eyes first studding the look on the girls face and the wonder as she had looked up at the sky. At the stars. Astrea tilted her head then, she had not been home often, maybe staying only a night or two so she had not had much of a chance to get to know the new young ones. She wondered if the child even knew who Astrea was. Did she know her as her aunt? Or was it like little Illume again? Not even knowing she had a star spotted aunt? Astrea wanted to sigh again, she not only failed little Illume and Currant but she was failing her new nieces as well. She needed to make time for them both, needed to always be with them and make sure to make time for them. Astrea nodded then and fallowed the girls gaze, she would start now, she knew the child was probably unable to settle down for a full night sleep so maybe she would like a bed time story instead. The wind gusted then, tossing the feathers around her. She closed her eyes then and breathed in the clean scents of her home. |
She would hear the sound of another's approach, the soft crunch of paws on the earth and the general presence a wolf made. She didn't bother to avert her eyes from the stars, expecting the wolf to be going about their business or perhaps even creeping closer to mind Ray and ensure she didn't somehow find mischief.
When the wolf lay down beside her, the little pups ears twitched and she had to fight the urge not to look. Who was it? Was it an authority figure who was going to ruin her fun, or an Auntie/Uncle she could use as a shield to find amusement without getting into trouble?
The person beside her didn't speak, and after the few agonizing moments of waiting, Ray gave up expecting the person to tell her off or take her away and let out a breath, relaxing again and enjoying the stars, and the quiet, and the presence of another person beside her without them smothering her with their presence of warmth. Actually, it was quite nice. She liked how the person didn't speak, there was nothing intrusive about whoever it was, and a sense of comradeship began to form in her mind without even knowing who it was with. If there was one thing she hated, it was people automatically invading her person space. Honestly, people seemed to think that just because she was a pup she craved cuddles, and they couldn't be further from the truth.
At long last, her curiosity winning out, she turned her head to see the dark lady beside her. “Hey Auntie” she whispered softly, that was a safe thing to say since she couldn't remember the ladies name. She hadn't officially met many of her fathers siblings, and certainly didn't know them by sight. It was just, safe to assume that anyone she met within this pack was family to her, even when she didn't know their names. "Do you like watching the stars? or do you not like sleeping all the night too?"
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Ray of course knew nothing of the troubles going on in Astrea's mind. Her own where of course more pressing and immediate then anyone else's. It didn't help that she hadn't yet discovered that others felt discontentment also. No, instead she would pull her gaze from the stars and make a face at this dark shaded Auntie. “Just Ray” she clarified, keeping her voice quiet. She only used her big, full name when she was trying to make a point or look all important. In doing so, her full name sounded stuffy and uncomfortable.
The Auntie told her she was a star wolf, one who liked to stay up all night. Perhaps getting to know this Auntie would be good. If she was awake at night anyway, then when Ray couldn't sleep they could watch the stars together. Her lips twitched as she considered this, and she almost missed another important tidbit her Auntie's words explained. “Ohh... Astrea, the Star Dreamer” she sounded a little like she was reciting, but what could one expect? She had more auntie's and uncles then she had room in her brain to remember! If this wolf was Astrea, if made sense that she couldn't sleep, a question posed to the girl a moment later. The little one shrugged, and sighed. “I don't like sleeping in one big lot. I like lots of little sleeps, and doing things. Sitting still and pretending to sleep when I know I'm not isn't fun” she explained gently. Of course, she would have no idea that she was as restless as the Northern Wind.
When the child corrected her on her name Astrea smiled at her then, not that she minded calling the child Ray it was just amusing that it seemed that the new generation all wanted to be known by a nickname. But little did the children know their names where a apart of them, seen in the flows of energies that flowed around them. Little Seraphiel may not like her name but it was apart of her like the name Ray will never be. But... Astrea will do as the child desires and call her by the name she desires to be called. "Okay then little Ray." Then she seemed to remember that somehow someone HAD told her about Astrea... but with a little addition to her name. Something that only the prophetess has ever called her. Shock filled her eyes as she looked down at the child, how did she know the title the blind wolf had given her? Bemused as she just shook her head and took the shock with stride, after all her family seemed to know the oddest little details no matter if you told them or not. "Yes, I am Astrea, the youngest of all your aunts and uncles," she smiled at her. When the child went on and answered her question she wondered at the girls answer. She sounded very restless much like the wind... If she had been Gale's child Astrea could see why that was so but... Glacier? Hummm.... Well she was not all that worried about figuring out what made the girl was connected to as much as she was concerned with what made the girl needed for her mental health, and it seemed that she needed to be able to have someone watch her at night when everyone needed to sleep. She thought about it a little, she knew she could watch the child when she was home... Maybe Selini would be willing when Astrea was not home? The Star dreamer needed to remember to ask her when she next see her, but first to keep the child occupied until either she falls back asleep or the others wake. "I see, well I have time to, how about a story little Ray?" |
She was curious about this Auntie now. She only knew a few little tidbits about each of them, barely enough to identify them by really. Perhaps her father expected her to get to know them well by herself? He did always seem family orientated. When he spoke of his siblings, his voice held this funny note of pride. “The youngest!” she said with a hint of surprise, her butt wiggling all on a will of its own to bring her to a better position to see her Auntie. “But that's impressive, with so many siblings, no one else can claim that” she pointed out, amused.
She shifted her gaze back to the stars, thinking about how all the little dots of star looked like little silver flecks. Honestly, she thought they where quiet pretty, all cold and distant. Perhaps they could understand a little Ray's desire for personal space – something no one else in her immediate family seemed able to grasp.
Astrea offered her a story, and Ray looked back to her Auntie, grinning easily. “I love stories. Daddy tells really funny ones. Did you know that when Daddy was younger he fell in the mud and scared Uncy Volt by being a mud monster?” she giggled, remember the way her dad had told it, changing his voice to a frightened voltage, and the mucky voice of a mud monster. Ray was already shuffling, putting herself in front of her Aunt, so she could look up at Astrea, big blue eyes interested and intent.
When the girl seemed to jump on the tidbit of information that Astrea gave the girl, so full of energy that child was. So unlike herself and Glacier, both Astrea and her brother where a calm presences and at least in her case kept to herself most days. Astrea also knew that no element was the same, some needed the close affection of the family, like Voltage and Locha seemed to, while others, like herself and Arcus needed space unless it was on their terms. Meaning Astrea will touch and nuzzle but she was not actively looking for it, and as far as she could tell this child seemed to be the same. Not once did the pup touch her and came no closer then a foot from her. So instead of moving closer to the child like she maybe would have with Voltage she stayed where she lay, and when the child moved to her front to look the Star Dreamer in the eye Astrea lowered her head, regarding the child silently. "Yes none of the others can say they are the youngest but trust me in this little Ray, having nine older siblings they can be... overprotective and frustrating." She smiled at that, yes that was defiantly the case with Volt and Glacier, that was one of the reasons she had not told them that she planed to leave on her journey last year. When the child's eyes again raised to the sky Astrea was filled with curiosity, why was she so drawn to them? If Ray had been her pup she would know why, they stars would no doubt call to them as they call to her. But this girl? Glacier's child? She had no idea, maybe she just liked them, but with this family liking something generally was a byproduct of their inborn connections to whatever energy filled them. Before she would start with her story she had to see what the child saw when she looked up at the sky. "What draws your gaze, little Ray?" Astrea head on her paws regarded the girl and then took a breath, whether the child would answer her question or not she would began her story. "This is a story that is close to us and the family, it is what makes us who we are, little Ray, listen closely, for if you understand it you may understand yourself." With that Astrea started, hoping the child would understand what Astrea was going to explained to her in the story, it was a story of the family, one the prophetess unlocked and helped her work through when she spent that month on the island of her birth. "There once where two lonely Stars in the sky. So lonely that together made two New Stars. They loved the New Stars like no other, they felt pride and joy for them but darkness lurked close. The Darkness grew jealous of the family of Stars, they wanted the light that flowed from them, wanted the warmth... Seeing the danger that lurked in the Darkness the Parent Stars grew fearful that the Darkness would come after the young Stars. With much pain the Parent Stars sent the First Litter away. Saddened by the loss of the First Litter, the Parent Stars grew lonely again. They could not help make more Stars. But like the First, the Second drew the notes of the Darkness, so the Parent Stars where again forced to part with the Second Litter. But as a parting gift they gave the young something special to connect them to the universe." Astrea took a breath again feeling the power that surrounded her every time she thought of this history that was shown to her. It was a dream quest of sorts, one the blind wolf had guided her through. The power caressed her as she continued the story, like it was telling her that it was truth and right to tell this child this very story. "The First had also, though unintentionally, received this gift before they had been scent away. The Eldest of the two from the First Litter was as Unmovable as ice, a protector, a shield and foundation. The second was filled with great energies, feed by the power of the universe itself. The Second Litter came the four Elementals. One was as bright and hot as fire, another as calm and easygoing as air. The third as gentle and caring as the earth. The last as flowing and persuasive as water." "With the gifts the Second was scent away as the First. But this time the Parent Stars felt the approach of the First. They where still sad to see their young leave them but they knew that it was for the best, the First would care for the Second. They knew the the First would protect the Second where they where unable to." With a deep breath Astrea was about to get into the last leg of this story, the most important bit of it. She looked up at the sky, thinking about the dream quest, everything she saw was indeed of stars being born and leaving, but even though they had all been stars to her eyes she felt the energy of each of her siblings, Astrea KNEW that that story, that dream quest, was about her and her family... And her parents knew that they may have been in danger... "The Parent Stars knew that the Darkness would come for them soon, knew that their light was going to be snuffed. So they made one last litter of Stars. The first of the Third was the darkest Star of all. A swirling mess of clouds and emotions, but deep in its center was a calm like no other. Next came Twin Stars, one a gentle glow of the reflected light of the other, they both would be incomplete without the other as they balanced one another." Without a pause Astrea continued onto the part that spoke of herself. "The last was different than the others. The Parent Stars knew that their young needed a guide. One that lived in the dark but thrived in the light. So they gave this last Star the most challenging gift of them all. It was the gift of the universe itself. They had known what this would do to the child. The youngest Star, unlike the others, would feel a disconnect with the young's home, like a piece was gone from the Stars very soul. But even knowing that the Parent Stars felt that the youngest Star was strong enough to carry this burden and guide the family as best as the youngest Star could." Astrea wished to live up to that thought, she hoped her parents where not wrong. Astrea looked down from the stars then and looked into the young face of her only audience. "And like the first two Litters the Parent Stars scent the Third away, again feeling the approach of the First. Fill with great sorrow but even more hope the Parent Stars knew the Darkness would come; but knowing that they young Stars where safe with the others filled them with calm like nothing else could. The end would come but they would die with peace in their minds..." Astrea let her voice trail feeling the ending moment then, in her dream quest she saw the darkness swallow the two bright stars, and when it had passed nothing was left of them... Not even the connection that was there before with the ten young Stars... Emotions filled Astrea as she tried to disconnect herself form the story and the memory of the dream that she had that night and the dreams that still fills some of her nights. The dreams of darkness as it covered her own star like it did to the Parent Stars in the story, tried not to let the pain and fear fill her eyes as she looked at the child. Would little Seraphiel understand that this was a story of her father and aunts and uncles? "Even with the separation from the Parent Stars, the First, Second, and Third Litters still curried the gifts they gave to them. So much so that the energies that ruled their nature and souls even pass to the next generation. A gift of love that will carry through time itself." With that Astrea grew quite, even if little Seraphiel does not fully understands that this was a story about herself and her family now she may in the future, maybe then she would not be so troubled by the pull and connection that the first two of this generation was, and that was all Astrea hoped for. |
Ray couldn't help but giggle when Astrea pointed out the downfall of having so many older siblings. Ray scuffled a step closer to whisper to the star woman, her eyes wide and innocent. “You should try ten Aunties and Uncles” Perhaps she had inherited a little of Glacier's humor. She scuffled a step back again to give them both some room and settled down into the grass to get comfortable in preparation for the story. Astrea wouldn't immediately start the story, instead, she would go on to ask what drew Ray's gaze. The little girl shrugged “Why do berries taste sweet?” she said, half cheeky, half hypothesis. “I don't know. There interesting, there shiny and distant. There a part of our family through you. I just want to understand them” she concluded, hoping that was explanation enough. She wasn't even sure it was true, that was just what came to mind when she really dwell upon it.
Now Astrea would start the story, and she would have the child's full attention. Her bright eyes watched the Star Wolf, the gaze questioning and curious, encouraging Astrea to tell her tale. “Elements” Ray said, when Astrea gave a little explanation and paused, the little one wasn't sure if she was suppose to show she understood or keep quiet and listen. She liked how Astrea automatically started to speak about the stars. She didn't yet understand how it related to the elementas, but she could tell it was a subject that meant a lot to her Auntie, and there was something about watching someone speak about their passion... she had learned that if she was quiet and observative she could see a side of that person they might not show otherwise. A side where their eyes lit up, and they became somehow more.
Not that patience and quiet was a trait she practiced often, she just knew that she took the time and effort to, it could be worth it.
When Astrea started to explain the gifts of the first litter, Little Ray's brow furrowed and you could see she was concentrating and listening with all her effort. Unmovable ice? A protector? Why, this star sounded an awful lot like her daddy! But he wasn't not star, he was a creature of flesh and blood. But lightning was explained for the second of the litter, and Ray was left with little doubt – this was her family Astrea spoke of. But what was the darkness that chased them away? Her daddy never mentioned this, never mentioned being kicked out by his parents. A thought struck her then, she had always thought it was off that it was just her and Roar, no other children in such a big family. Where they the litters being kicked out now? Would she and Roar draw the darkness and be cast from their nest? A shiver ran through her body at the thought.
She tried to organize and file away her questions for after the story. For the moment, she concentrated instead on the second litter, remembering what Astrea was telling her so she could look for the relevance in her auntie's and uncles. When it came to the Third litter, she was a little bit confused? Reflecting light of the other? Needing each other? She frowned, but couldn't find the answer. She decided to logic it out a different way, who was the third litter made of? What had her father told her? Lets see.. Selini, the moon, Solaris, the sun, Astrea the stars, and.. and.. she was sure there had been one other? Anarchy or something? What was his element? She frowned, but it didn't come to mind. Oh, but wait! Reflecting elements? Maybe she meant the sun and moon, they where opposites weren't they?
The last star, that could only be Astrea right? But Sera frowned, the explanation was a little confusing. And hadn't her daddy told her that Solaris and Astrea had both done the element thing of their birthing? At some point she had concluded that the three she knew of the last litter where a joined team in guiding the wolves in all that element stuff she didn't understand yet. Well.. that was a good point, she didn't understand it yet, so she could hardly voice an opinion. As the last litter was sent off, the story would come to a sad turn, and Ray frowned, breaking her commitment to save all her questions till last. “Is that why I have no grandparents? The darkness ate them?” she wanted to know. Luckily, the end of the story wasn't far behind that, and she would be able to unload all her questions then. “If the universe star is the guiding one, why does Selini and Solaris have the Relcilious or whatever its called rank too?” she asked “Or is that for something different?” barely pausing for a breath let alone to give Astrea time to speak, she continued. “So if you can describe all the elements how would you describe 'Frost'” she wanted to know. After all, she was given no explanation to her 'element' and no suggestion to what might 'call' to her. She paused, and then asked the question that had frightened her earlier. “And is that why there's no other children? Did they get sent away?”
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Swallowed by darkness? Astrea confirmed the idea and Ray was left wondering what on earth it was and how it had happened. She was sad that she would never get to meet them. In fact, she had never seen an old wolf before. Not to mention the darkness could be a story she could use late at night to scare her sister. She wouldn't be able to dwell on that for long, as Astrea moved on to her next question. She directed the pups eyes to the stars, and Ray obeyed, her gaze widening at the thought. Using stars to guide your travels? She couldn't fathom how, but of course she wanted to learn!
Astrea would describe Frost, and that would really capture the girls attention. She listened intently, only to pull a face at the description. Distant? Quiet? Slow moving? None of those things applied to her! Her expression fell, her gaze questioning. Had she been misnamed? Perhaps they had gotten something wrong, or maybe she didn't have an element at all. After all, her mamma didn't have an element, maybe they where mistaken in thinking she had one at all. Her ears folded to her skull. She liked her heritage, the history, the fantasy of it all, she wanted to be a part of it.
Even Astrea admitted it didn't match to her, and the girl wined softly, still taking care not to wake anyone. At least she was distracted from even this worry, as Astrea moved on to tell her that she would never be sent away. She was glad, she didn't ever want to leave her home. She couldn't imagine being kicked out to face all the scary things alone, just her and Aurora with no adults to protect them. She expected that to be the end of the explanation, she certainly didn't expect her Auntie to admit to losing children. How did you lose a child anyway? Surely they weren't that small that you couldn't even see them. “Is that why Daddy wont let me leave the territory? So I don't get lost too?” she wondered. Astrea also looked at her, and she had that adult look on her face, all intense and stern like she needed to be understood. Only, it wasn't a lecture she gave the girl, but a promise, a strange sort of promise. She couldn't imagine anything bad happening, but perhaps she could make use of that promise another way. “Will you always answer my questions? And, can you keep a secret Auntie?” she wondered.
Astrea watched the child's face viably fall as the Star Dreamer admitted to not knowing the girls nature. Which she could understand, if the stars did not call to her or she did not have stars on her tail would she be able to tell her own nature? Could anyone else? Maybe but maybe not. But Astrea would not give up on trying to figure it out. "Do not look so sad little Ray, you have the gift of our family, I saw it on the day of your birth, yours and your sister. We will figure what it is that calls to you, and it will call and pull, you will not miss it." Astrea smiled as her own nature called to her, singing for her to join them, but no not at this time, her family needed her. When she spoke of Glacier and his protectiveness Astrea wanted to sigh, another of her brothers smothering his children. Not that Astrea understood, but the pups needed a bit of freedom, some room to explore and make mistakes... To grow, when you hold them to tight they always want to break free... Like little Illume. "Yes, I imagine that is why he will not let you leave little Ray, but let me talk to your daddy, if you and your sister desire to see beyond the boarder I or another of your aunts or uncles should be allowed to take you. But do not leave on your own, the world can be a dark place and we cannot protect you if we cannot find you." She hoped the girl listened, and if she and her sister did want to see the outside world they would come to her or Glacier before exploring. When a burning look came into the child's eyes Astrea knew she was in trouble, oh so big trouble. The Star Dreamer could not help but smile when the child finally voice her thoughts she had to give the girl a very warm smile. "If that is what you need me to do little Ray you will have it. I will never hide anything from you, if I know the answer that is. Volt and Glac may try to protect you from those answers and they think that is for the best. But know that I will not hide anything from you or your sister or cousins, if you ask, I will answer." She gave the girl a soft look, knowingly walking into the trap the child had laid, Astrea saw it the moment it entered Seraphiel eyes but knew she would not be able to tell her no. "I will ALWAYS be here for you little Ray. ALWAYS." She repeated, hoping it will stick, hoping that if anything did happen she would not fear coming to Astrea, for anything. |
"I can go outside the border with you? Can we go now?" Surely astrea couldn't be surprised with the question that followed. The pup paid no mind at all to the caution astrea also tried to install upon her. But she would be with her auntie anyway, so they should be safe right?
She was so distracted with the idea of leaving the borders she almost didn't even ask the other few questions she had left. "OK. So. That day we where in our den and the water gobbled up the beach, why did it do that auntie? Is daddy afraid it will gobble me too? Because he won't let me anywhere near the water, I think the sea frightens him" it was sort of a question anyway. Her eyes lit up then and she grinned "but that's not the secret. I met a friend on the border and he rescued me from the mud. He's a prince did you know? And he Pointed out that I'm like a queen. It's just, I haven't told daddy because he worries so much I don't know what he would think about me having a friend that dosent live in the pack" the young girl would explain