ardent

Testing Skills



Zisa

Loner

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01-21-2016, 06:50 PM
Zisa was going to make sure that she could protect herself well enough, and it was that thought that nudged her to the battlegrounds, her tiny paws carrying her. She was ready for a spar before she even got to the battlegrounds. She knew one thing for certain already; she wasn't going to talk much. Zisa, after a moment, fell into her defenses.

Her head was lowered to hide her throat. Her weight was distributed evenly through all four paws. Zisa's ears flattened against her head. Her violet eyes narrowed. She scrunched her scruff and put her tail between her legs slightly.

With her defenses in place, she waited, rocking back and forth on her paws, redistributing her weight every few minutes to make sure.

She wasn't going to lose that easily.



Ren

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keanai
01-21-2016, 09:31 PM (This post was last modified: 01-22-2016, 07:39 AM by Ren.)
The alpha knew he had to increase his skills - and what better way than a trip to the battlefield? He felt uncomfortable there, still, after his excursion as a pup, but he knew he had to get over it. So he'd wander, and it's not take long to spot a smaller female who looked ready for a fight. He'd approach easily, dipping his head in greeting. He stopped about ten feet away, directly in front of Zisa; a fair distance for a fight, he figured. He would not... be barbaric and simply launch himself into an attack. "Hello," he would welcome. "I'm Ren Agatsuma. I'll be your opponent." And perhaps, afterwards, he would recruit this little lady into Borealis. He would wait patiently - for her name, and also allowing her the first move.

"Speech"




Zisa

Loner

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Female
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01-22-2016, 08:22 AM
It wasn't long before a challenger would appear, a larger male who introduced himself as seen Agatsuma. For a moment or two, Zisa hesitated, but it seemed the other wolf had given his real name. "I'm Zisa Akemadottir. May we both get stronger from this." With those words said, it was time for the spar to begin. Zisa was not a big wolf, smaller than her opponent, so relying on her strength would not be as effective. Rather, she would have to rely on her speed, and hope that would do the trick. Still, she had to start this in some way.

She would dart to his left side, making her way quickly through the distance between the two, and attempt to ram against his lower side with all her force, with the attempt to knock him off balance and maybe even cause bruising. Regardless of whether or not she managed to, the tiny female would redistribute her weight quickly.

Zisa vs Ren for Spar
Round 1 of 3?
Defenses: {Are in first post} Head lowered to cover throat, weight distributed evenly between all four paws, eyes narrowed, ears flattened, scruff scrunched and tail tucked slightly.
Injuries: N/A
Attacks: Attempting to ram into Ren's lower left side and possibly knock him off balance and/or cause bruising.



Ren

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keanai
01-22-2016, 10:46 AM
While she introduced herself, Ren set the first round of his defenses: his paws spread more evenly upon the ground, his knees bent, his paws splayed and his toes dug in all for balance and better traction upon the ground. He rolled his shoulders forward, scrunching his neck to protect it and his tail flagged out behind him, even with his spine for even more mobility and balance. He'd nod to her words, and with that, he'd set the last of his defenses rapidly. Ears flattened, eyes narrowed, chin tucked and hackles rose as she came at him.

He would turn by shuffling his feet to the left to face Zisa directly as she darted around and towards him, digging his claws in. He would jut his right shoulder out in an attempt to ram Zisa in between her left shoulder and the side of her chest, in the gap where the muscle was, about an inch and a half above her armpit in an attempt to give extreme pain and perhaps dislocate the shoulder. His head would bend and he would try to grasp her scruff in his jaws, upper jaw hoping to close on the folds on the left side of the back of her neck, and lower jaws hoping to grasp the folds on the right side of the beginning of the folds an inch below her right ear.

At the same time, his left paw would lift slightly, his weight distributing evenly on his other three paws. He would to to hook it behind her right paw,his paw pad facing him, trying to hook it directly above the wrist and pull against the wrist back towards him to maybe knock her off balance.

ZISA vs REN for SPAR
ROUND I/III



Zisa

Loner

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Female
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01-22-2016, 11:47 AM
Zisa flinched as Ren's shoulder was rammed where he had aimed it, the female pulling away from him. His jaws grazed her skin, blood welling up from the shallow wounds. His paw hooked hers, pulling her back and making her stumble for a moment. When she was sure that she wasn't about to fall, she distributed her weight once more, wincing at the pain in her left shoulder. Her opponent was good at fighting, there was no doubt about that.

Zisa lunged for Ren's left front leg, four inches above his paw. The smaller female would attempt to bite down, hopefully making it hard to move and cause some pain. Her right paw was lifted at the same time, the female distributing her weight. She would attempt to slam her right paw down on Ren's left paw as hard as she could.

For a moment, she felt a bit of guilt, but she squashed it down. If this was an actual fight, she would not be able to feel bad.

Zisa vs Ren for Spar
Round 2 of 3
Injuries: Shallow scratches on left side of back of neck and below right ear, extreme pain near left shoulder.
Attacks: Attempting to bite down on left leg, four inches over paw, and attempting to stomp left paw



Ren

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keanai
01-22-2016, 12:47 PM
Ha! He got her, although not the grip he wanted. His teeth only scraped the scruff as she stumbled back a coule of feet.  Oh well, he still got her! A fierce light, delight even, entered his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was good or if she was just bad, but either way it utterly pleased him.

In that instant that she stumbled back, though, he reset his defenses. He rebalanced himself, legs spreading, knees bending, paws splaying and claws digging into the ground. His ears were flattened, eyes narrowed, his own shoulders rolling forward to scrunch his scruff to protect his neck. His tail still flagged behind him, and he'd make sure he chucked his chin back. His hackles also refluffed up.

That was all he had time for when Zisa made her move... lunging at his leg. He'd lift that left front leg fully up, a what the hell expression crossing his face. He'd then attempt to slap his paw down on the middle of her face, a pure no, as if a hand to a forehead... with claws, of course. It wasn't even an attack, really; it was just a purely instinctual reaction, his weight distributing evenly and easily on the other three limbs, though there would still be some weight on the other paw. He then spotted her paw going for his, and he'd yank his right paw up, causing him to disorient and fall - he let his front half drop down and instead took advantage of it, jaws seeking to close around Zisa's right ear, engulfing the whole ear and biting down around the base. Not hard enough to, well, bite it off, but pretty hard.

REN vs. ZISA
ROUND II/III
ooc. Blueberry and I agreed that Zisa stumbled back two feet. Also, how this post is graded will be... interesting. Tried something new; not sure how well it will work but oh well :D
"Speech"




Zisa

Loner

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Female
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01-22-2016, 08:10 PM
Zisa's expression was shocked as Ren's paws smaked her face. When the larger make stumbled, she would take that opportunity to shake his paw away. In that moment of distraction, however, she felt pain go through her ear. A snarl rumbled in Zisa's throat involuntarily, although that would solve nothing.

Despite the damage it might do to her ear, Zisa's jaws would attempt to sink into the flesh just below Ren's left eye, near the side of his jaw, hard enough to cause some extreme pain for the male. She just hoped she was fast enough this time. It seemed that she was getting battered while he seemed fine. Maybe she wasn't as good at protecting herself as she hoped.

Zisa vs Ren for Spar
Round 3 of 3
Defenses: First post
Injuries: Shallow scratches on left side of back of neck and below right ear, extreme pain near left shoulder, deep lacerations on right ear
Attacks: Attempting to sink fangs into left side of Ren's face, near jaw



Ren

Loner

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keanai
02-02-2016, 04:46 PM

The woman shook his paw off, and Ren would let it slap down next to his other paw. It was in that moment he checked his defenses. His ears were back, eyes narrowed. His tail was aligned. His hackles were raised. His hindlegs spread, and he bent his knees so he could stay balanced in that position, his toes splayed and claws digging into the ground for better traction and for ease of movement should he have to jerk away. He rolled his shoulders forward to protect his neck - just in case, after all. His muzzle would remain in a snarl in order to protect his gums.. that and he was also still nomming on her right ear.

When she went for his eye, he would stand, pushing up with his front paws. As he stood, he tried to scrape up Zisa's right ear in order to worsen the damage to it. Instead of hitting his eye, her teeth would instead strike the upper portion of his left leg, leaving moderate scratches that stung. He would growl as he got hit for the first time, and his eyes would flash as he attempted to grab her scruff. He did this by simply leaning forward and leaning down, his front teeth trying to grasp the back of her scruff an inch above what would be considered in between her shoulder blades. His back teeth would try to grasp the scruff behind her left ear.

REN vs ZISA for SPAR
Round III/ III

this is the most terrible fight post because I forgot I had to do it.


"Speech"




The Judge

Administrator

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02-13-2016, 03:24 PM

ZISA vs REN for SPAR



ROUND ONE

ZISA:
5 for clarity:

  • -1 “...attempt to ram against his lower side with all her force...” What body part is she using?
  • -1 “...attempt to ram against his lower side with all her force...” Where on his lower side? It's a large area
  • -1 “She would dart to his left side...” What positioning is she hoping for? Where on his left side is she headed?
  • -2 for general lack of clarity. Your whole fight post is only two sentences long and that's simply not enough.
9 for powerplaying.
  • -1 “She would dart to his left side, making her way quickly through the distance between the two...” This should have been attempted.
0 for defenses.
  • You must restate defenses in each and every fight post.
1 for attack.
  • +2 for shove
    -1 for lack of clarity
10 for injuries.
  • First round.

Zisa's round one total: 25/50


REN:
7 for clarity:

  • -1 “...shuffling his feet to the left...” Whose left?
  • -1 “He would jut his right shoulder out in an attempt to ram Zisa in between her left shoulder and the side of her chest...” What part of his shoulder is he using?
  • -1 “...upper jaw hoping to close on the folds on the left side of the back of her neck...” Where on the left side of her neck? Behind her ears? Close to her shoulders?
7 for powerplaying.
  • -1 “He would turn by shuffling his feet to the left to face Zisa directly...” This should have been attempted.
  • -2 What happened to Zisa's shove?
10 for defenses.
  • +1 for each seen to max of 10. In the future I'd like to see a bit more explaining/clarifying when it comes to defenses and their purpose. In this post “his paws spread more evenly upon the ground” sounds an awful lot like “his paws splayed”
6 for attack.
  • +2 for shoulder throw
  • +3 for bite
  • +1 for paw swipe
10 for injuries.
  • First round.

Ren's round one total: 40/50


ROUND TWO


ZISA:
4 for clarity:

  • -1 “Zisa flinched as Ren's shoulder was rammed where he had aimed it...” What's the damage from this?
  • -1 “Zisa flinched as Ren's shoulder was rammed where he had aimed it...” I would have liked to see the “where” restated.
  • -1 “His jaws grazed her skin, blood welling up from the shallow wounds.” Where?
  • -1 “...slam her right paw down on Ren's left paw...” Front or back?
  • -2 for general lack of clarity
10 for powerplaying.
  • None seen
0 for defenses.
  • None seen
4 for attack.
  • +3 for bite
  • +1 for stomp
7 for injuries.
  • -1 for moderate bruising to chest (damage assigned by judge)
  • -2 for minor lacerations to back of neck
Zisa'S round two total: 25/50


REN:
7 for clarity:  
  • -1 “He'd lift that left front leg fully up...” Did she miss completely? If so that should have been stated.
  • -1 “He then spotted her paw going for his, and he'd yank his right paw up...” She was going for his left paw
9 for powerplaying.
  • -1 “...engulfing the whole ear and biting down around the base.” Be very careful with wording.
10 for defenses.
  • +1 for each seen to max of 10.
4 for attack.
  • +1 for face stomp
  • +3 for bite
8 for injuries.
  • -2 for minor lacerations to left forepaw (damage assigned by judge)

Ren's round two total: 38/50

ROUND THREE


ZISA:
7 for clarity:

  • -1 “Zisa's expression was shocked as Ren's paws smaked her face.” What damage did she receive from this? All damage must be stated in the post itself, not the notes.
  • -1 “In that moment of distraction, however, she felt pain go through her ear.” Same as above.
  • -1 “Zisa's jaws would attempt to sink into the flesh just below Ren's left eye, near the side of his jaw...” More detail is needed here.
8 for powerplaying.
  • -1 “When the larger make stumbled, she would take that opportunity to shake his paw away.” This should have been attempted.
  • -1 “Zisa's jaws would attempt to sink into the flesh just below Ren's left eye...” If Ren still has a hold of Zisa's right ear it would be nearly impossible for her to reach the left side of his face.
0 for defenses.
  • None seen
3 for attack.
  • +3 for bite
7 for injuries.
  • -1 for mild bruising to forehead (damage assigned by judge)
  • -3 for severe bite wound to ear (damage assigned by judge)
Zisa's round three total: 25/50


REN:
7 for clarity:  
  • -1 “The woman shook his paw off, and Ren would let it slap down next to his other paw.” Which paw?
  • -1 “His tail was aligned.” With what?
  • -1 “...her teeth would instead strike the upper portion of his left leg...” I would have liked to see more detail here.
7 for powerplaying.
  • -1 “As he stood, he tried to scrape up Zisa's right ear in order to worsen the damage to it.” You can't assume that you still have it.
  • -1 “...his front teeth trying to grasp the back of her scruff an inch above what would be considered in between her shoulder blades. His back teeth would try to grasp the scruff behind her left ear.” Even with a much smaller opponent this is a huge area to cover.
  • -1 for using the same body part (mouth) twice in a fight. By doing so you're not giving your opponent time to react to the first attack.
8 for defenses.
  • +1 for flattened ears.
  • +1 for narrowed eyes
  • 0 for tail aligned because of clarity
  • +1 for raised hackles
  • +1 for adjusted stance
  • +1 for bent knees
  • +1 for toes splayed (I prefer toes splayed to paws splayed, which is what you've used in previous posts. I like this one much better!)
  • +1 for claws digging in
  • +1 for rolled shoulders
  • 0 for snarling as it is not a defense.
4 for attack.
  • +1 for worsening damage to ear
  • +3 for bite
8 for injuries.
  • -2 for moderate lacerations

Ren's round three total: 34/50

Totals:

Zisa: 75/150
Ren: 112/150


And the winner is...


REN! Zisa must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.

Damage:

Zisa:
  • Bruising will take 2 ooc days to heal
  • Minor lacerations will take 4 ooc days to heal
  • Severe lacerations/puncture will take 2 ooc weeks to heal
Ren:  
  • Minor lacerations will take 4 ooc days to heal
  • Moderate lacerations will take 1 ooc week to heal
Notes:


Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):

For Blueberry: Practice, practice, practice! You lost a massive amount of points by not simply stating your defenses. Those are the easiest points to earn so it really doesn't hurt to take a few minutes to make sure you have ten. Also be sure to state what all your character is doing in no uncertain terms. Your posts lacked the “meatiness” that is found in the posts of successful fighters. To be a successful fighter you need more than just a fistful of sentences outlining an attack. Write with more detail and you should notice an immediate improvement.

For Keanai: You too could benefit from practice. At face value you did well with clarity, but I really had to read and reread to try to work out what all was happening. It felt like you were trying to cram large amounts of information into single sentences and that made it difficult to judge in some places. My advice for you is to state things simply and clearly. It's alright to devote several well written sentences to a single reaction or attack and while it's certainly possible to overdo it on detail, I think it would be better to have too much than too little.

- By [Lazuli]