He was worn out and needed to stop. He had been on the move for so long and alone for so long that the male was just tired of it. He was far from the lands he once called home and had done a bit of moving so far in these lands and felt that things seemed to be good enough to finally stop his running. At least for a while to recoup and  get back into better shape. With Winter around the corner the male was also thinking of finding a place to bed down for the winter instead of continuing to travel. The first winter he traveled was not pleasant and he had fully learned his lesson that it would be best to travel during winter. Grunting lightly the male flopped down in the sandy bank of the lake. With a deep sigh the male laid his head down on his paws looking out at the water of the lake. He didn't know where to start in these lands as far as where he wanted to stay, he didn't even know if he wanted to join a pack again. He just wished he could go back, back before the attack to the long night patrols walking side by side with her. He hated himself that he could never admit his feelings for her and now that she was gone all he did was regret it. He had done his best to keep himself from getting too depressed, but he couldn't help it. They should have stayed together that night and maybe, just maybe she would still be alive. He closed his eyes and tried to push his memories back into the dark corners of his mind. He tried hard to focus on what his next move would be. Winter would be here soon and he needed to act fast on finding a place to camp out for the winter. A place that had all the essentials close by. Lifting his head he peered around the surrounding area. It had plenty of water and had some good potential for shelter. Food on the other hand he wasn't sure about. The surrounding fields where sure to hide smaller game such as fox and rabbit, but he doubted that bigger game would risk exposing themselves to often to graze around here. Laying his head back down he tried to recollect the areas he had already traveled through wondering which territory would be the best. Talking & Thinking

She stood with her legs halfway submerged in the sun-warmed water of the lake, staring absently out across the unfamiliar body of water. Once bright ivory fur, now dulled with dirt from a period of no grooming, curled and swayed in response to to a sudden gust of gentle wind. Caelum noticed how her body swayed slightly to one side in response to the push of the wind. Once upon a time she would not have been moved a single inch, but now was different. So, terribly different. She felt like a shell of her former self, like a failure. A small bitter chuckle escaped her ebony lips when she reflected on how he had though she was so weak and pathetic some time ago. If she was pathetic then, now she was mere dirt beneath the paws of others.

Younger Caelum had been so positive, so optimistic and gentle and unshakable. She had never panicked when things got bad and never given up. To think she was the same creature was to be too generous to herself. Just thinking about how she behaved now in comparison the her alpha self felt... Disappointing? Something like that. How she would move on she didn't know, but standing here in the water was no longer distracting. She'd hoped to keep walking, to run away and never look back to her past if only she could just forget it all, forget her family and her life before now and disappear into some future where she didn't have to think about it anymore. So far that wasn't working.

The thought of home made her feel weak in her limbs, like she might fall into the water from the stress of remembering. How such a simple thing as remembering could bring her down so easily both amazed and terrified her. And on top of that all this thinking about that time before was bringing up so much in her head she could almost smell home again, or something like home. Her nose twitched several times, taking in deep breaths several times. It... it wasn't in her head, was it? She turned towards the shore, looking through the reeds with a hopeful expression tainted by an undertone of fear. That couldn't be possible. They were dead, all dead and gone except for him. Right?

Slowly Caelum waded towards shore, cyan gaze searching for the source of the scent. She reigned in a surge of hopefulness, remaining cautious while she slowly trotted forward, tail stiff and raised slightly. Who could it be?

The male suddenly sat sternal switching so that he was laying on the left side of his hip, and sighed his ears laying back against his skull gently. He would only relax for a little bit before he would be up and on the move again. The more he thought the more he was considering moving to the West, maybe even further to Auster. The winter would hopefully be more milder in those parts of Ardent and he would have a better chance of easier survival this winter. He had a lot that needed to do in such little time, but he would get it done. He felt after last year he would be able to get things accomplished. What really worried him was getting a den made and bedded so that it would be warm and finding a great spot that had plenty of smaller prey for a loner to live off of. So much to do and as the thoughts kept circling through his mind it began pushing him to get himself moving. With a grunt the leggy male stretched out his long legs. He was just about to pull himself to his feet when a noise disturbed the stillness of the area. Immediately his ears went up and his eyes flew open. His muscles tensed and his body remained still, except for the twitching of his nose. Taking in the scents he realized the sound was downwind from him meaning whatever creature had created the disturbance most likely knew of his presence. He listened intently as the creature moved again the noise sounding like the creature was in the water. It slowly moved in his direction and even though he didn't know what was creating it he knew he should check it out. If it was danger he should prepare to defend himself. The water stopped, the creature must have gotten out and this was when he rose to his feet. He moved towards where the noise had been coming from, his tail and muscles tensed. Pushing through the brush until the creature came into view. Upon sight the male stopped his body perked, looking her over. Immediately the markings and the build of the female struck him as familiar. His memory had always been good with faces and places he considered his memory eidetic. Mostly white with those unforgettable black markings and bright blue eyes, the same shade that Ilona had. His gaze softened and his heart ached at the reminder of his love. There was no doubt that this was Ilona's dear sister and his former alpha. The scarred male relaxed, his tail falling to lay naturally against his rear. Head lowered in respect towards her. Even though the pack was gone, even though she no longer held her high rank, the male still held a deep respect for the women. He dipped his head in greeting before taking a few more steps towards her. "My alpha.... Caelum...... I'm glad you survived," the large male's voice was deep and smooth and surprisingly steady. Talking & Thinking

Searching through the brush for a moment Caelum wondered if it was even possible for one of them to be okay still. Sure, she knew he was alive, but there had been so much blood and carnage... how could there be anyone left? Of course in her utter horror it was possible she hadn't searched and kept count well enough. A wave of gut-wrenching nervousness and fear nearly caused her to stop in her tracks. It was important to keep going though. Enough time had passed, now was the moment to find out if this was indeed someone she knew.

She pushed her way out of a patch of vegetation and stopped, sky blue eyes widening and breath catching in her throat. As any good alpha should, Caelum had known every one of her pack members. She had known their names and faces so well that if she had a means to she could draw a picture of any one of them without looking at the wolf's face. Even with the scars she knew, was entirely positive that this was one of her loyal followers. How he was here was impossible for her to guess yet it didn't matter because he was alive. Someone else was alive. Her tail had been raised over her back during her approach out of habit since she couldn't seem to drop that dominant aspect of herself even without a pack to manage. Upon the realization that this was indeed not a stranger she allowed herself to take a more relaxed posture, snowy tail lowering a tad so it remained just level with her back. A smile graced her features when Inverno took a respectful posture as he would have back in days long gone. It was so hard to believe he could be here, so hard to think that after all this time she had not been the only one left aside from the man she couldn't name.

A shaky sigh pulled its way out from her lungs when she thought of all this. Caelum couldn't help but think that... well, maybe she had failed them. Maybe he was right and she was a weak failure. If she were a better leader she would have noticed who was missing from the wreckage of her beautiful family's demolished home. She would have gone after them. Should have gone after them. Oh, goodness, what a terrible alpha they must think she was. What a terrible woman. Slight surprise twisted her facial muscles in response to Inverno's words. Meeting his gaze she responded gently, "Inverno... I can't believe you're here. Likewise, my friend, I'm very... Very glad to see you," her vocals came out light and a tad wavering, light a small flame waving due to a breeze. She never really had a commanding tone though, her voice only got strong or raised back when she had to lay down the law to a insubordinate canine in her pack or when she felt the need to defend her family. Before she'd been find with that, but now she wondered if it wasn't weakness that made her so soft-spoken.

"Have you... seen anyone else since?" She asked, stepping closer to him and moving to sit near him. She let the rest hang in the air, not feeling a need to describe the event he was sure to recall quite well. Her heart ached a little but Caelum tried to focus on the fact that one of her dear pack members was finally here with her. She had many more things to ask him but for now she'd keep her inquiries to one at a time. Deep down the thought that perhaps he had seen Z after she had made her both incredibly curious and incredible scared.

It felt good voice hear and familiar voice and to see a familiar face. To him it felt like ages that he was comforted by being with another. After the attack on the pack he had ran solo afraid to even get close to anyone again. For a while he felt as though he would be hunted down by the pack that attacked them. So he had kept away from others and when meetings happened they were vary brief. He did not dare risk anyone's life. Seeing Caelum brought more then just simple relief to him. It proved to him that any survivors were not being hunted down. He felt that now there may be an actual chance of trying to form new relationships with new faces and maybe settle down again. Though it also poised the question at whether Caelum has or would ever form another pack. Her words made a light smile come to his lips. She was happy to see that he was alive and well. She sat beside him and he looked her over checking to make sure she had no wounds and seemed to be in stable condition. She looked a little dirty and worn from traveling, but other then that she seemed fine. His ears perked at her question about seeing anyone else and he shook his head. "Not since the attack. Have you?" he wondered if she asked him because she knew of someone else who was alive. Talking & Thinking

Not knowing what had truly happened, only having what she'd seen and what little she'd gotten out of her run in with the man who still held her heart to some degree. He hadn't really filled in all the blanks though since their 'conversation' was rather focused on blaming rather than sharing information. All she thought she knew was that her dear family was gone, aside from one who she doubted she would ever speak with again. Knowing Inverno was here and had a different perspective of events meant that there was hope she could finally find out more. And, even better, someone she cared for was alive. That alone made her happy.

He seemed glad as well to finally have someone from the past resurface, and she enjoyed that this meeting would at the very least show her that she was not alone in many of her feelings. Her walking for so long had in part been due to not knowing who had attacked them. She couldn't risk ever going back alone for fear that she would not make it out with her life. There was also the possibility that someone would come for her. But if Vern was alright... Maybe she had to rethink what she would do from here on out.

Hearing that he had not run into anyone was admittedly a tad disappointing but she didn't let it foul her mood. The pack was full of strong wolves, so if anybody else had made it out by some miracle then they were probably out there somewhere and neither of the two had found them yet. Having run into two wolves from her past now, she could let go of the idea that there may be one or two more. Her brows sort of drew together and her smile weakened a bit, almost falling away completely when she responded, "I have. It... was Zephyr. I thought, before I saw him that if he was alive we would meet again and be happy to just see one another. But, oh he was so different. All he saw was someone to blame, and instead of being happy it was anything but." Caelum nearly choked on the words but kept her composure. For some reason she felt the need to remain in control in front of Inverno, if only because she was once his leader, though going deeper it was more because she didn't want to prove Zephyr right. She didn't want to be the weak piece of garbage he seemed to think she was now.

"He said I ran away, but that's not what happened. I don't want anyone to think I ran. I was chasing someone, I didn't know that the pack was... under attack. I just knew that my pups... They were gone, and I went after the one who did it. I think, maybe Zephyr or someone else saw me but didn't see who I was after. When I saw him again he blamed me, and my sister for everything. I don't know why he felt it was the fault of Ilona, but he seemed to think it was and that I was also guilty by association."

His gold-orange eyes watched her, her smile weakening and even fading. His brows furrowed wondering what in the world was she thinking. Had her meeting with someone from the pack had gone illy? Or was she just upset that he hadn't seen anyone and was longing to be with her mate. When she spoke she almost stumbled through her words making him curious and vary intent on listening. Zeph, her mate, was still alive but it seemed she wasn't overjoyed about it. As she continued he remained confused hearing at how Zeph had acted, not happy to see her when he should have been. It had even made Vern's blood boil a bit towards the male. He would do anything for Ilona to still be alive, for him to see her beautiful face again. Why did Zeph act so angry with Caelum. He tried to remain focused on her, keeping himself from letting his emotions get the best of him, they were already discussing a touchy subject and he wasn't sure how well controlled he could be. He could easily tell Zeph had hurt her and the man was not good at showing his more softer side nor did he really know what to do to comfort her. She was doing a great job keeping her composure, but Vern knew because he could remember how Caelum used to be. He knew she was different when he first saw her not just because she seemed a little dirty or worn, but just her posture. Both Caelum and him had been through a lot and they had changed from the attack on the pack until now. She began again, explaining what had happened and what Zeph thought had happened his eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to understand why the male would feel she would run from the pack at a time like that. Though what she explained next really knocked his emotions and his heart clenched. He felt his blood boil and his body grow hot with anger. His eyes darkening and his lip muscles twitching. Clenching his teeth the male tried to refrain from snarling, from lashing out and causing a sceane, though the man's thoughts made Vern angry. How dare he try to blame Ilona, she was doing her job and it had not been her fault at all. He abruptly looked away from her casting his glance away so she didn't think the mixture of emotions in his eyes were towards her. If that man was standing here right now Vern would have a hard time resisting the urge to rip into him. His claws dug into the ground as he tried to push back what he was feeling, trying to keep himself calm. He took in a deep breath and let out a vary shaken sigh, ears laying back against his head. "He's wrong," he replied before looking back to her, his eyes still darkened and hard as he tried not to show all the emotions that were running through him. She didn't need it, not now, not when she herself was hurt. Maybe someday they could get to the nitty gritty of the feelings about the man's words, but right now Vern had to right the wrong thoughts Zeph had placed in Caelum's mind. He had to protect what was left of her, the sweet memories that were left in the minds of the ones she knew. He would not let anyone speak or think ill of her because there was nothing she had done wrong. He owed her that, he owed himself that. "Ilona and I were doing our jobs that night, the best that we could manage. When we had met at our normal spot we reported to each other our findings. The group that had attacked our pack remained just inside our boarders for sometime, keeping to the perimeter of the territory. Several scents made it hard to determine exactly how many there had been so for a while the two of us fallowed the trails. I had discovered where one of the scents had split off from the others, which if I hadn't been tracking slow I would have missed it completely. I felt I could easily handle one wolf alone and rather risk both sets of eyes I told Ilona to keep to the parameter of the territory. I told her if she were to find anyone she was to call to me and call to warn the pack." His eyes closed as the memories of that night resurfaced, the throbbing pain in his heart from loosing her. He should have done things differently, maybe she would still be alive. "When I realized that the trail I was fallowing was not turning back I howled to warn the pack, but it was cut short when I was attacked by the male I had been fallowing. I did my best to fight, to try and defend myself and to get free to defend the others in the pack, but the male overpowered me and eventually was able to bash my head into a rock big enough to knock me out. I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up they were gone and I saw all the bodies, most unrecognizable do to the damage. Ilona was the last body I found," his teeth clenched as his stomach grew tight. He felt the urge to vomit at the site he found her in and Vern had to take a moment to compose himself again. "There must have........ been several that attacked her alone..... I um....." he was stumbling over his thoughts, his words and he couldn't do it. The scarred male felt the numbness of grief taking him over again, the hatred towards himself for never expressing his feelings to her. He loved her, more then he had realized then and the thought of her being gone forever broke him down. This was the first time he had discussed this, the first he talked about it and it was still vary fresh. Perhaps with time the pain would fade, but right now it was to much for him. He stood and moved away from Caelum, keeping the pain in his eyes from her view. He couldn't let his alpha see him in this weakened state. He would sit with his back to her as he looked out over the lake. "I did my best to lay her to rest comfortably," that was all he had left to say. He couldn't tell her that he stared at her ripped up form for hours or that he had to stay by her grave for a few days. It was to much to handle all at once. Talking & Thinking

While she told Inverno some of her story, she observed his reactions with sad yet curious eyes. A part of her felt grateful to him for his reaction to Zephyr not being happy to see her. He appeared to tense, frustrated, not saying anything. Only his posture changed a bit but it made her feel better knowing someone else could be just as puzzled and upset by that behavior as she was. When she mentioned that Z had blamed her sister though, she could see the bubbling anger that just barely managed to stay below the surface. Caelum quickly understood why, after all, even a blind wolf could've see the emotion that the very mention of Ilona elicited from him starting sometime back when they'd begun patrolling together.

Her ears pricked up a bit when he spoke, saying Zephyr was wrong. Caelum wished she could be surprised that her mate had been so quick to accept false information... the discovery of all the other fallen wolves would have left him itching for someone to blame. Still, it had always upset her to know he had so quickly cast blame on Ilona. Her sister had been nothing but helpful and kind to everyone she met, to think that she was to blame... Not in a million years would that ever be the case. Sadly until now she had not known the real story and was unable to defend the memory of her sister when her name was tarnished with the blame for the attack.

Cae listened to Inverno patiently, her face soft with concern for Vern. He did his best to keep pushing through, to tell his story in it's entirety which she appreciated. Hearing how things had gone down wasn't easy though. If the bloody battleground she had discovered afterwards was any indication, the fight had been a terribly grotesque and uneven one... Of course if the wicked creatures could do what they'd done to her children... taking out an entire pack wouldn't cause them to lose any sleep. It made her shudder and she looked at the ground, trying to think about... anything else at all, just for a second. Revisiting these memories must be hard for both of them.

He struggled to talk, eventually unable to fully continue. It was clear he had stayed at the scene longer than she had. Her reaction had been to run, to search for survivors and finding every prone, lifeless form empty of life she eventually had to leave, to run because knowing everyone was gone was too much and she couldn't deal with it all. Every day she beat herself up for not keeping tract of who was who, for not seeing if the numbers added up. Her thoughts were interrupted by Inverno moving a sort distance from her and sitting so he was facing the gently rippling water of the lake. Again, Caelum only had her sympathetic understanding. Relaying the horrors he'd seen couldn't be easy, especially if it was so hard to just hear. She knew carrying her own memories with her was a burden almost too heavy to bare, and for once instead of turning this remorse and sadness into self loathing, she could instead seek to help someone else and not have to focus on herself.

For a while she stayed sitting and just let everything sort of settle in the air. She couldn't think of what to say for a while. Everything was still sorting itself out in her head, and she just wanted to make everything be okay again but she could't and it made her wanna scream.  Eventually she moved closer to Vern, sitting just behind him and very gently nuzzled the man's back very gently in hopes it might provide some small comfort.

"I'm sure you did your best, and I thank you for it." She murmured, doing her best to keep her voice steady. She missed her sister terribly, missed her family. For the first time in far too long she had someone that knew what it was like to feel all of this and to lose so many.

Eventually she wandered over to a patch of particularly soft looking grass and let herself sink to the ground, beckoning for Inverno to come rest near her. She hadn't even realized how deeply tired she was of being alone. It had gotten to the point where she rarely ate, just walked and walked and tried to go whatever distance it would take to get the hell away from everything that had left her broken and hurting. Unfortunately she was coming to realize it simply wasn't possible to walk away from your sadness. Stretching, thin legs reaching out as far as possible, she let out a weary sigh and turned back to Inverno.

"I'm not really certain who I'm supposed to be now. If that makes any sense. Before, I was an Alpha, a mother, a mate, a sister. Now I'm just... Caelum, I guess. I could go so many ways but it's impossible to know which path to travel when I'm barely able to accept I'm no longer on the old one," a bitter laugh followed her words, eating up the pause while she searched for words, "What do you think? I could go back down old roads. I could... Hell, I don't even know. Earlier I had so much in my head when i saw you but now words fail me. I suppose I'm considering the future, whether or not I could bring myself to be a leader again. When I saw him, Zephyr was so angry at me. He looked at me and he saw weakness and frailty and ever since he told me that all I can think about is if it's true and if maybe I'm not meant to be anyone's Alpha."

All this left her tense, causing the woman to repeatedly have to try and relax her muscles, making an effort to not look stressed to the point of breaking like she felt inside. Her entire life up until these long months had been so much easier, she'd never had to think about if she was strong or weak, never been worried about if she was good enough. If she had those thoughts before, would she have been able to become better sooner? Reigning in her thoughts she asked, "But, maybe that's enough about me. Have you considered what you will do now? It's almost winter, and I've heard there was an illness a lot of wolves were catching."

Silence settled between them and it made Vern close his eyes. Slowing his breathing the male did his best to push back the memories, to lock up the emotions, and to compose himself. Oddly he felt a little better being able to tell her what had happened, to defend the honor of her sister and right the wrong that Z had believed. His tense muscles were able to relax as things settled. Slowly his eyes opened and he looked into the water of the lake, staring at his own reflection and the scars that riddled his face. He had survived for a reason, he was sure of that, but for what reason he was still unsure. He felt better that he was in familiar company and wondered what her current plans were. Would she even want him to tag along with her? He wouldn't know until she said something or if he asked. Part of him knew that she wouldn't know what to say even though the male felt that there was some sort of reaction from her needed. Though her form of comfort was rather unexpected and at the first light touch from her his muscles tensed. Moving his head slightly his green eyes looked to her, his body relaxed as he watched her nuzzle him. It had been a while since another was even close enough to touch him, but the male found her gentle nuzzle oddly comforting. It was odd how such a gesture from her would comfort him so, but he was thankful for it. Her words also helped him and his eyes fallowed her as she found a soft spot to lay down. She then beckoned him over and for a moment he hesitated, but he was craving more of her comfort and wandered over to lay down beside her. He to was tired of being alone, to have to work twice as hard to just survive. He missed the company of others. Looking to her the male could easily see how weary she was. He had no idea how much she had traveled or what she had encountered between the attack and now, but she looked worn out. He was sure her meeting with Zeph hadn't made things any better. His ears perked listening to her words. Her words drew his thoughts, trying to think of a solution. What really should she do? Vern tried to draw back to after he parted with his parents, what he did and thought that got him started. Right now both were starting fresh, starting over. She wasn't sue what she wanted to do, she didn't know if she even wanted to be a leader again. What could he say that would help? "At this point you could do whatever, you could even try from the bottom of your not sure about being a leader again. In all honestly I believe Zeph was wrong in saying your weak and frail. Your were a great leader and still could be, but if your not sure take your time and get yourself built back up again," he said looking to her. She asked him what his plans were and informed him about an illness other in this land were catching. He lightly nodded his head as he drew his thoughts back to his original plans before he had came across her. "Well I was thinking of heading further south where winter would hopefully not be as harsh. Find a good territory with shelter, water, and food supply and bed down for the winter. Other then that I really don't know," he replied. Talking & Thinking