Under the care of Lark, Lillianna slowly recovered. Thankfully, Lark did not come down with the sickness again. Despite what he said, she worried about him anyways - exactly what she told him, when he found her that one day. She worried until she gained strength back in her legs and started to move around, and even still she worried; she still had a lingering cough, though she was certain that would fade away with the oncoming spring. Surely, it was just winter that affected her so, now. Her sickness carried late into fall, and by then the cold temperatures - varying temperatures, really - started to come in.

Coughing lightly, she narrowed her eyes, scanning for Lark. Unable to see him, she inhaled deeply. He wasn't far, she knew that. He hadn't left her side very much since her sickness, and even went so far as to care for her; it was something she was incredibly grateful for. And... she may, or may not, have taken advantage of that for snuggles. Because snuggles were great no matter who they were with, damnit. Even more so now, when she was aware, not very sick, and able to move around. Even if they didn't happen that often.

Amusement sparkling in her own eyes - she long since accepted her personal enjoyment of his company, when she was ill - she sought him out, tracking him to the short distance away where she knew he'd be.

"Lark" | "Lillianna"

Things had been.. pretty bad, for awhile now. His mother had returned, only to disappear again; Starling had all but abandoned his family; and then he'd been sick, and he'd probably gotten Lillie sick. He'd been trying to take care of her, as best as he could, though other than helping her eat, making sure she got enough water and had someone to lean on, he didn't know how else he could help. He felt like it was sheer luck that she had slowly started to get better - though as she got better, he found himself retracting from her slightly. Why, he wasn't quite sure. It seemed she still wanted to spend time with him, though. Her presence was noticed quickly, as he'd heard her coughing in the distance before he even caught a whiff of her scent. His gaze searched for her, head lifting from its lowered position. "Hey, you," Lark would drawl quietly, offering a half-hearted smile in her direction as he examined her. "How are you feeling?"

She'd noticed him drawing away, and truthfully, she had done a bit of the same. While cuddles were thoroughly enjoyed with everyone and anyone, it's was... is... ah, a bit awkward. Just a little bit. At least, between her and Lark. Her fur itched at the thought, and her ears flicked back briefly. Yeahh. So while she still took advantage when she could, more often than not there were on-purpose cuddles when she was pretending to be sleeping and doing it in her sleep. It wasn't too far off the mark, after all - she has a habit of doing that anyways, much to her annoyance and enjoyment. She smiled softly when Lark greeted her, and she sat down a couple feet away, looking down at him. "Hey," she answered with a smile, Sitting up, she managed to be taller than him! ... Barely. The wolf was a behemoth, something that still amuses her when she stands next to him. "Better. I'm a bit sore from being all cooped up so long, still, and this damned cough, but I'm feeling a lot better. I'm happy, too, now that I have freeeeedom." She was just happy in general, for reasons she couldn't explain other than her sickness. "What about you? You've been stuck around as well... and with my sickness, I haven't asked too much about what's happening with you. So, how are you?" Truthfully, it had been all focused on her the past few weeks, and now that she was growing better, she was reversing that attention. Enough about how she felt, and her needs - what about him? "Talk" "You" Think

He loved spending time with her, even if this fact wasn't something he'd admit out loud; what he didn't love, though, was how she made his head feel fuzzy and made him feel confused so easily. It was easier for him to avoid - and thus ignore - these thoughts all together, rather than try to make sense of anything. His smile brightened a bit at her own pleasant demeanor. So, it seemed she was feeling much better. Good. "You'll just have to get moving again," he suggested lightly, though she seemed well aware that she was beginning to recover and would have to slowly work toward getting better. "I'm glad you're feeling better though." Though he found himself feeling significantly more confused now that she was better, he wouldn't wish sickness on her, not for his own sake - or for any reason, for that matter. The thought of the sickness worsening had been difficult for him to worry about. Lillie seemed to be in good spirits now, though, and he grinned a bit wider at her as she spoke. Her question, though, made it falter slightly. "I'm fine, I guess," Lark started, though immediately felt foolish for adding the I guess part. He wasn't sick, so he had no room to complain. He was well-fed and free from harm; what did he possibly have to complain about? A soft sigh lef this lips. "Starling's sorta vanished, though," Lark would add off-handedly, as though trying to make it seem like less of an issue than it really was. His brother's absence had bothered him - though physically he'd only been gone for a short while, mentally he'd been gone for so much longer. His brows furrowed, tightening in slight frustration as he glanced away. "My mother came home, too, just to leave again. It's stupid."

[/quote]

Her tail started moving behind her, eyes sparkling with delight as he responded lightly. "Yep!" she agreed cheerfully. It was annoying that she'd become so... well, weak, in her sickness; compared to how she used to be, she was infinitely fragile. That wouldn't last long, no, she was determined it wouldn't. Her cheerfulness only grew as she saw a true smile on his face. Hah, back when she first met him that never happened. Now, it happened a lot more often. Even so, she still got that rush of satisfaction and triumph when she caused a genuine smile. It made her get a goofy grin, and there was just a sort of pleasant happiness filling her entire body. She couldn't explain it, but she was just going to roll with it. Until, of course, it started to fade when Lark spoke again. I'm fine, I guess. What an odd way of saying that. Her head tilted to the side a bit, a gentle inquiry within the depths of her eyes. Was something wrong? What affected Lark? And then he elaborated.. and she grimaced, ears folding back on her head. Starling vanished, huh? She wasn't surprised. Anger, sorrow, and other emotions she couldn't name welled up inside of her. Lark said it so casually, but she didn't believe for a moment that he felt so nonchalant about the issue. Before she could speak, though, he spoke again. She winced again, sighing heavily. Slowly,she reached down and out to briefly touch Lark on the shoulder with her nose, almost a comforting gesture. "Starling's been gone for a long time now," she said grimly, ears rising back to her head. Starling disappearing... was nothing new. Of course, one time she actually bit him. She still felt a bit bad about that. It made things even worse and the idiot healer just... ugh. Grimacing again, she shifted to Lark's last statement. "Sounds like it is. Why come back, if all you'll do is leave again? It's just hurting you, and likely your siblings and your dad, too." Why? It didn't make sense to her. If you didn't want to stay... then don't. Leave. But don't come back, because that's just so painful. Why hurt the ones you love, unless... unless she didn't love them. That was a possibility, but Lillianna would have liked to presume that mothers loved their children. It may be that they leave - like hers had, for some reason she was still unaware of - but they still cared. At least, that's what Pippa and Starla told her. She would choose to believe that, instead of the alternative. "Talk" "You" Think

Lillie seemed far more cheerful than she usually was, which elicited a slight grin from him in turn. He remembered how it felt, when he'd first felt like himself again after feeling so terrible for so many weeks - it had been a wonderful feeling, indeed. He couldn't tell if that was the only reason she was feeling joyful, but he wasn't one to pry, either. His own tail would wave behind his much larger frame, though its movement slowed as their lighthearted talk grew more serious. Lark wasn't really used to talking about..things. About his feelings. He was a listener; he wanted to always be strong and steady for his family, even when he felt like the world was crumbling down around him. He watched as Lillie's expression shifted. She'd been close to Starling, too, though to what extend he didn't exactly know. He half-flinched as he glanced away and felt her nose touch his shoulder, having not expected the physical contact.  "Yeah," he'd sigh quietly, knowing he'd been gone.. though he'd had hope that he would come back, as he always seemed to do.  "I don't know why they leave and come back. They should just fucking stay gone." Though his words were harsh, his tone was not scathing; instead, it held a bitter, quiet sort of sadness that he couldn't bother to hide.  "It sucks worrying about them when they're gone, but wondering when they're going to leave again is worse."

Lillianna never really had a problem with sharing her feelings, her thoughts. Well... she did, actually, but only to the point that she was picky whom she shared with. She was both a listener and a talker; she believed that it worked both ways in order for you do be a good friend. If all you did was listen, then the other wolf would feel as if they were a burden. If you only talked, then the other wolf would think you were inconsiderate, and didn't really care. Thus, both talk, and listen. That... was what, in a way, Lark and her were doing that instant, except they were rapidly switching - every exchange, one talking and one listening, then the other way around. It was gratifying, and quite the comfortable feeling. ...Even if the subject was something dark and not one Lillie enjoyed at all. it was the truth, though, and had to be discussed. "I'm sorry," she apologized quietly as he flinched away from her, and she withdrew from him, green eyes studying the ground. She did wince at Lark's words, though in her eyes reflected the misery and agreement that she felt. She hated his words, but she agreed with them so much. She sighed, nodding briefly. Every word he spoke was nothing about the truth, and she hated that it was the truth. "Yeah... it just... it just hurts and I hate it so much. Either come home and stay home... or... just don't come back." How she longed for Starling to return, to stay home, and to get his head out of the clouds or the ground or whatever it was in and realize he was not a disappointment. She missed her sweet, caring and naive friend. She also wanted Wren to come back, if only to mend the bonds within the Destruction family, but she was afraid that both Wren and Starling burned the bridges of trust too far to return. Well... Starling didn't burn it completely with her, if she didn't do it with him. "I-I'm scared that I played a part in Starling's thoughts," she confessed, her head hanging in shame, ears pulled back. All remaining traces of a good mood had vanished, in that instant. "I... we had arguments. And one of the first times he left, I was so hurt and upset and angry that when I saw him I bit him and scolded him and called him and idiot because I wasn't thinking and then I tried explaining that I wasn't disappointed I was hurt and then I just... I just..." she whined softly. "I regret it so much. No matter how angry I was, I shouldn't have hurt him. He was - is - one of my closest friends and I cared for him much like I imagine I'd care for a brother. It won't ever happen again but I'm afraid I ruined everything." A sudden fear struck her eyes - what if Lark knew, and would be angry enugh that she just ruined this, whatever it was. She jerked her head up, green eyes shimmering with that uncovered fear. "And now I'm afraid I ruined this too..." she mumbled, not even realizing that the words she believed she had thought were also mumbled aloud, and perfectly clear for Lark to hear as well. Oh, crap, how stupid was she? "Talk" "You" Think

The whole attitude of their meeting changed with alarming speed. It had been carefree and joyful, even, and now suddenly it grew somber and even a bit bitter. This seemed to be how things always worked with them, though.  It always seemed to be intense, no matter what emotions they were experiencing - never in-between. A soft, slightly pained sigh left his lips as she began to speak, sounding nearly as frustrated as he felt. He could always trust her to speak her mind; that was one thing that he was certain of. She'd never been one to hold things back, since the first day he met her. Knowing she wouldn't hide much from him - or so he thought - was refreshing. Lillie was hurt by the disappearance of Starling and his mother, too, though the former seemed to bother him quite a bit more. He knew they'd been friends. His eyes were downcast as he eyed the earth below his paws, his mind swaying slightly as he considered it all at once. He grimaced a bit as the feelings flooded him, though his face was stony now, his brows pulling tight together as he avoided his friend's gaze.  "Yep," he'd echo simply, nodding his head slowly - until she started speaking again. She'd.. played a part in Starling's thoughts? What did that mean? His own ears pulled back, though irritation was visible in his stare as he lifted it and fixed it on her. He'd been angry with Starling leaving, too, but to call him an idiot? And she'd bit him? His mouth tightened suddenly, the corners of his mouth twitching in irritation. No matter how mad any of his siblings made him, no matter how much they hurt him, he couldn't imagine possibly attacking them ever.  "What?" he'd ask, feeling suddenly numb, though a dull anger had begun to burn somewhere in his chest.  "You.. bit him? Is that how you should respond any time something upsets you?" He'd known Lillie was quite volatile; the first time he'd spoken to her, she'd told him that she'd prodded at another wolf until she was moved to strike at her face. She just hadn't imagine Lillie being the one doing the attacking. His limbs quivered, just slightly, as he took a step away from her.  She'd said she regretted it, but it didn't change the fact that she had done it.  And she knew what she'd done would upset Lark, it seemed, for she looked at him with obvious concern in her eyes. He didn't know what to say, though he felt like he was frozen there, his heart heavy as he realized what Lillie had done. He wouldn't have thought twice if she'd done it to some random wolf, but not Starling.. not his brother. How dare she. "Wow," was all he could muster as he finally watched her, from the corner of his eye, feeling stunned.

Regret. Regret filled her entire being - not just in doing the action itself, but telling Lark. How could she... how could she have been so stupid? Her eyes widened as he took a step away from her, and then squeezed shut as she struggled to contain the turbulent emotions inside of her. Her claws gripped the soil, and her jaw ground together as her breath hissed from in between her teeth. Control, she thought. I have to remain in control. Then Lark spoke, and that control partially shattered as Lillianna flinched hard at his words. "N-No, no it's n-not," she managed to get out, the words low and shaky. Her breath hitched as her body trembled, and her muzzle dipped towards the ground as her eyes squeezed shut. Why did she tell him? She should've just kept it to herself... but what if seasons passed, and he found out - not from her - down the line? That would've been worse. But truthfully, that had not been going through her head when she told him - guilt was. "It was immature, selfish, hurtful. He forgave me, but I haven't forgiven myself. I called him an idiot for thinking we were disappointed in him when he's done so much good, but then my actions said otherwise, I think. I don't know what I was thinking - to shock him into thinking? To make him realize he only hurt us when he left, not when he stayed? I don't know. But I can't help but think that's what drove him away, partially," she whispered, staring down at the ground. "Talk" "You" Think

It was surprising that Lillie had thought to tell him this at all, since it seemed to have been awhile since it had happened. His gaze was unblinking as he watched her, as she practically cowered before him - even if not fully, the pain was visible in her averted gaze, and her rapidly stiffening posture. He couldn't help but wonder to himself if this was going to become more typical of her as time went on.. striking out in anger. Surely Bass wouldn't be too impressed by that sort of behavior. His own expression had briefly contorted in anger, his lips twitching in a silent snarl before he shifted away from her and looked away.   "It was immature and selfish," Lark would agree, a bit too sharply, but a soft sigh indicated that he was not as mad as he could easily be. His brows furrowed tightly together as he thought over it all. When had she done this, he wondered? Had Starling's strange behavior been partially caused by what Lillie had done to him? He thought back on the day that he'd called Starling's behavior out, but now he had to wonder if part of it had been Lillie's fault. In a strange way, though, he could imagine getting that frustrated too. Not at Starling - but at Lillie. Maybe it would feel good to lash out at her, right now. From the corner of his eye he glanced over at her, thinking of the consequences. She wouldn't go and tell Bass, he knew that, for he could simply tell on her for hurting Startling. But.. doing that wouldn't make him any better than Lillie. Another sigh, this time a rather forlorn one, fell from his lips slowly.   "What now?" he'd ask quietly as he tilted his head fully, to eye her, his voice void of most of the ferocity that it had held a moment ago.   "What do you expect me to do now that you've told me this?"

Never again would she do something of that nature. When her rage cooled, and her mind flashed back to the hurt and the guilt that flashed on his face, she had vowed that - and no matter what happened, she would stick by it. She... now, she didn't know what she had been thinking. Then, it made sense to her, or else she wouldn't have done it, but... ugh, it bothered her. His harsh, sharp words were met with a slight flinch, but she knew he was right - it was, after all, her own words... with him agreeing to them. His sigh surprised her, though, and her ears flicked sightly, while a flicker of curiosity flashed through her eyes, not that he could see it. The silence grew between them, her silently crouched and staring at the ground, and him watching her. A soft sigh broke the silence, once again coming from Lark. His words were quiet too, and tired-sounding, and her ears slowly rose and her head tilted back up to peer at him warily. "What now?" the question burned through her mind, even more when he asked what she expected him to do with the information. "Whatever you'd like with it, I suppose. I... suppose I told you because of my fear that I played a part. Maybe I just wanted you to know. I don't know. I don't think you will tell Bass, or anyone else for that matter, but you could if you wanted, or..." she trailed off, her shoulders lifting in a shrug. She... really didn't know all too well. She understood, well sorta, why she told him. It was mostly selfish reasons, because the thought struck her and she'd been holding it inside of her (though ignoring it pretty damned well) and she wanted to relieve the guilt and, just... tell someone. At the same time, she was glad that was a secret she did not have to hide from Lark. Still peering at Lark uncertainly, she waited for him to say something. "Talk" "You" Think

It took him a long moment of grimacing, of looking away and then back at Lillie, to calm slightly. His mind still reeled under this new information - god dammit he hated how easily she could get under his skin. One moment he felt strangely serene around her, as though he was floating on a cloud, and the next she said something that made rage boil in his chest. Why did she get to him so easily? Why did he care so much? His nose wrinkled, brows furrowing together tightly as his heart-rate slowed. He wondered, briefly, if what she had done was so bad after all. He had lashed out at Starling with his words; was something more physical really that much worse? At least a physical wound was something that he could heal with his herbs, whereas words could linger for quite some time. No amount of herbs could ease that kind of pain. Another frustrated sigh fell from his lips as he stared into the distance, his eyes briefly fixing on the horizon. "I don't want to tell him," he assured her quietly. Telling him would solve nothing - Starling was already gone, and there had been no sign of him for quite some time. It would do no good, and he had no interest in punishing her further. She already seemed to be struggling with it on her own. It wouldn't make him feel good to make her feel even worse. "So..." his voice trailed off, head lifting slowly as he eyed her. Much of his rage had calmed now, leaving him with an awkward pit in his stomach instead. "What should we do now? Just stand here and glare at one another?" he shuffled his paws, ears flicking atop his head. "Or should we move on?" Lark wasn't totally sure he knew what she would say for an answer, or if he wanted to know at all.

Honestly, she was very oblivious to the effect she had on Lark. All she knew were her own conflicting emotions, which she couldn't even begin to describe. She cared deeply for his opinion of her - which... well, she didn't really care about with most. She also did care for his opinion in general, and his thoughts as well. She hated it when he was sick, and hated it when he was angry, but when he was neither, she enjoyed being with him and spending time with him. This time, she was the one who sighed quietly, looking down at the ground instead of up at the enormous wolf near her. The silence grew, and she felt more than mildly awkward... but then, thankfully, Lark spoke, and her head perked. Pain - what an unusual feeling, one she didn't understand - flared in her chest, for reasons she didn't know at the sound of his voice. Still, a hopeful feeling stirred at the distinct lack of anger, and green eyes flicked up to his, as she nodded very briefly. She believed him, without a doubt. She didn't even need to really reason why he wouldn't, though she suspected it was because there may not be a point in doing it, or... maybe he just didn't want to? She cast her mind from it, not dwelling on it, because shse had no need to do so. She looked down again, silence growing. She felt tired, tired and sad... and regretful that the day - so bright and cheery - had come to this. She knew it'd be fine, in the coming days; after all, this was just a small dim light in the long run, right? Lark's voice startled her again, and her head jerked up, a soft mrrr? coming from her. She felt amused by his word - stand and glare at each other, huh? Heh. They'd done a lot of that. A lot. On top of it, he looked like the awkward pup this time. "Well..." he voice was unusually light and soft as she spoke, "I rather like it when you're not glaring at me, so I'm in full support of moving on." Really, who would enjoy being glared at? "Talk" "You" Think