The male had ignored the pain in his head for some time now as he sorted through herbs. Getting ready for Avalon to stop by when she needed. She was hurt from that fight with Mercy from what he heard from Tan(being a few days after). Vereux couldn't lie, he was nervous. It had been some time since they had spoken, since he had been buried in his work. That and spending time with their kids. Where all of them seemed so interested in healing. He was glad, but at the same time the fear gripped within him of being a bad father and a horrible mate. After all, not many wolves in Ivalice were fond of him. He threw the thoughts away as he carefully sorted them out. Herbs for injuries made with teeth, he didn't need anything mild at the moment. Of course it had been a few days since Tan told him these things, but he still had prepared and still now was going over what he could and couldn't do. Avalon probably had needed some time to herself, whether it be spent with okami or anyone else. He took in a shivering breath, he needed to make sure she was okay over himself. No matter how sick he did feel. “Vereux” “Avalon”

She had returned. Although it was non too pleasant the moment she did. She wasn't sure how much more she could handle, especially after everything that had happened. Everything was falling apart, and the only one who seemed to help fix it was Bass. When he had found her the other night at the top of the cliffs, she had been at her weakest state. And while she wasn't yet ready to return to Ivalice, she had to. Her position chained her here, no other options for her. She was beginning to feel the burden of it all. The weight that pressed on her shoulders, the decisions that she felt were dividing her and her family. She had tried so hard to keep them together, she had tried so hard to be the best parent she could be. But to her, it felt like it wasn't enough. Finally, she would arrive at the mines where Vereux seemed to always be. Her thoughts about him consumed her, and she wasn't sure what they were. The emotional turmoil certainly wasn't doing anything to help, but the short time she had away from everyone and everything had helped a tiny bit, to clear her head. Limping into the mines, her claws scraped across the ground. She was too tired to go any further, so she lied down just inside. Her shoulder was matted with dried blood and the poultice that Bass had applied, her other wounds crusted with blood as well. She didn't call out to Vereux, knowing that he probably smelled her anyway. Instead, she just laid her head on the ground and remained quiet. Talk like this

Of course he was becoming more wary with his condition. Already having taken a few poppy seeds, not enough to be in danger of not being able to do his job. As he scented Avalon he took his already prepared herbs and met her where she lay. His heart nearly broke seeing her as she was. Silently he'd sit next to her. Noticing the old herbs he'd smile slightly, seemed like another healer had helped her. Someone from Abaven judging from the scent. So the male would begin to work on her before he spoke. “Avalon hun..... you don't need to be afraid of telling me something.” he said as he worked through the herbs. His tail flicked slightly. “I know I'm a whole bundle of uselessness, but if I can at least be here for you... I'm here.” he swallowed his nerves. As much as he wanted to cry, he wanted her to feel okay. “Of all wolves I know how it feels to be at the end of your rope....” like I am now. he thought silently. Though after he thought it was okay he'd be telling Avalon about himself. There was no use keeping it a secret to the end of his days after all. He would have to remind her of all the beautiful things she had. Okami loved her and the rest of their kids most definitely looked up to their mother with beautiful eyes. Someday, they hoped to be like her. “Vereux” “Avalon”

The half blind male would approach her, amber eyes following him as he moved to sit beside her. Her ear would slightly flick when he spoke, but she didn't really respond. She wasn't afraid to talk him really, it was more the fact that she felt like she just couldn't talk to him. He was always in his own world of trouble, his own world of problems that she didn't feel like he'd be able to help with anything going on in her world. And quite frankly, it saddened her. Was this what love was like? His later comment didn't help any either. It only did more to confirm her doubts and her personal struggle. She wasn't at the end of her rope, no. She was slipping, but there was no way in hell she was at the end of her rope. She had not allowed herself to fall that low, and it was mostly thanks to the support system she didn't know she had that kept her from falling down that route. Bass and Creed were two of the wolves she trusted most. They were wise, and they actually knew what to say even if they didn't realize it half the time. She was truly grateful for them, and of course, it had taken something as bad as what had happened for her to not take relationships like that for granted. Despite her own personal feelings, however, she would try to make this as painless as possible. But was there really such a thing? She knew how Vereux worked. She knew more of his past, though she hated that she had to learn it from others instead of him. She had stopped asking, the feeling that she would never get a straight answer always nagging at her. She didn't know why, but it just...felt that way. Katja had come to her borders, demanding that Vereux pay for his crime. And Avalon had at first agreed, before suddenly deciding that she would not hand him over when she felt like the viking was ordering her around. She had thought about telling Vereux about it, but decided it was best not too. She had made up her mind, that if Katja came back, she would not stop the punishment. Ever since she had started whatever kind of relationship the pair had, it had done nothing but bring her strife. Some happiness, yes. Or at least, what she thought was happiness. But was she really? Without turning to look at him, she would quietly speak. "I'm fine, Vereux. Just sore. How are you?" She suddenly felt like maybe it was an awkward question. Like they were suddenly strangers as opposed to mates...she hardly saw him around, and she wasn't quite sure why that was. Sure she was busy a lot, but that was expected with her running a pack on her own. Maybe....what she told Bass and Creed really was real. And her brows furrowed the more she thought. "Talk"

He wasn't stupid. He could tell when someone was keeping something from him. He was dying and yet, he couldn't feel bad about that. Vereux knew that he loved her, but if it wasn't the other way around it was something he was used to. He had told her everything, so he didn't know what others had been telling her but..... he gave her his all. Like all things though it was never enough, as he went through her wounds and the herbs. He flicked his ears - for a moment debating not even telling her what was going on. He felt it as well. Distrust, or more or less what they thought they had might not have been real. Vereux didn't know what she wanted that was why he had avoided her. He caused enough trouble as it was. “You seem to want to be around everyone besides me.” he muttered for a moment. “Though I suppose it's my fault.” he coughed for a moment before he sat down in front of her. “You do know that I love you right? There isn't anything in the world I wouldn't tell you, and your happiness..... it's more important to me than my own.” his emerald eye looked towards her. He was hurting so he slid down to relax onto his stomach. “Avalon, in a year or two I won't be around. I... found out that I'm sick - very sick to the point where it's not curable. Call it retribution of the gods, but I'll remain here to look after our children and you.” Vereux let his tail flick. “And when Katja comes for me I'll go alone, don't send anyone. I won't put ivalice in danger ever. Whatever YOU want Avalon I'm ready to follow that. You're a strong, very strong woman and that's always amazed me.” he smiled and laughed lightly. Gods he did love her, but he knew he didn't deserve her. “Vereux” “Avalon”

Where had that suddenly come from? She looked at him with confusion, what? Not once did she ever make it seem like she didn't want to be around him. Ever. In fact, it was him who was hardly around. He was always in these caves, doing who knew what. Never did she say or make it seem like she didn't want to see or spend time with him, and it was in fact, quite the opposite. She felt like he was always avoiding her for one reason or another, and that comment alone made her close up. So he suddenly knew what she was thinking and feeling or something? Else why else would he have said that? "I don't know what gave you that idea, Vereux. Not once did I ever think that, but it seems you have." Her tone wasn't quiet this time. She knew it though, that maybe he didn't love her the way he always claimed. Maybe she really was just a fool to keep thinking that. So when he told her that there wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for her and that her happiness was more important than her own, she simply stared at him, ears falling back. She was so tired of hearing that. While she did appreciate the thought, it was not what she wanted. The point of a relationship was for both to be happy, wasn't it? Obviously, he wasn't. "Vereux, stop saying that." Her voice turned to something that held slight irritation. "I'm not the only one whose happiness is always important." She turned back to looking ahead as he lied down then, one ear towards him as he spoke again. Everything he said after that though...she froze. What? He was dying? When did he find this out? And how? How did he know he only had a year or two? She was so numb from prior events, she wasn't sure what to think. But this was definitely the icing on the cake. She said nothing as he kept on talking, her mind reeling with thoughts as she tried to think about what to do. What to say. Even after he finished talking, she said nothing. The silence long and thick enough, one might be able to cut it with a hot knife. Finally though, she would talk. "I don't believe in any gods, Vereux. They're nothing but a figment of your imagination." That she strongly believed. If gods existed, then things wouldn't be this way. "Katja already came for you, and I denied her. If she returns to claim you, then you'll have to fight on your own." There. Now he knew that she had come once already. And next time, there really wouldn't be anything that Avalon could do. She wasn't going to throw herself in the line of fire and suffer or get mutilated because of someone else's mistakes. She turned to him then, her expression and emotions completely unreadable. She honestly didn't know how to feel... "How did you find out about this sickness, and why do you think you'll only have so little time? How do you know there's no cure?" He said so little detail, like he was trying to leave her hanging... Talk like this

Vereux was just so tired. He didn't care about what she said, the irritation in her tone simply made it worse. Though he closed off his heart. He was useless, that was a matter of fact nothing more. Vereux had tried, he knew he had but everyone else automatically assumed that he was some sort of traitorous curr. His own happiness meant naught to him, because he was always miserable and that was how he would remain. But she, if he saw her happy, if he saw Avalon excelling and living. The same as he saw others he enjoyed being around excelling - that was more than enough for him. Much more worth it then concentrating on himself when he wasn't worth it. Vereux chuckled in his head about her comments with the gods. They indeed existed, they were the ones who put his father in power. The ones that made Katja who she was, and he... who he was. “I know.” he nodded his head. He had no problem facing Katja alone. He felt alone, he didn't want to share that with Avalon because he always felt alone. He had so many issue's that they couldn't be fixed. The only thing he wanted was to make sure their children grew up healthy. That Avalon would live her life to the fullest. “That's what I've been doing alone.... this whole time.” he looked back towards the den. “I was afraid Avalon, and I'm still very much terrified I hope it's not true but I studied and studied myself through and through. My immune system was shot when I caught the plague long ago. My lungs sometimes seize it's hard to breath then. I get constant headache's, my limbs ache. My body is simply breaking own and not doing what I tell it to.” he looked at her strained. “I searched and I wrecked myself, what I said was an estimate I could have more or less time but those were my best odds.” he shook his head. Staying where he was at.... “I'm sorry Avalon, I'm trying my best.” he really....really was. “Vereux” “Avalon”

She said nothing at his acknowledgment of having to face the viking alone. And what she meant by it, was he'd have to physically fight her on his own. She wouldn't step in, but she almost did last time. And it was by her own thoughts afterward that she decided it wasn't worth getting involved into affairs that were not hers. She didn't feel it was a justified enough reason to fight in his place, after all, she wasn't the one that betrayed the northern woman. And at first, Avalon had chosen to step in between the two because she felt like it was her duty to protect him. But the more she thought about it, the more she felt that maybe there were certain things where that particular duty was called for, and others where it wasn't. Protecting him from the punishment for his own wrong doings was not something worth putting the wellbeing of the pack at risk. She had to think of everyone as a whole, and not just individually. She wouldn't risk a war breaking out or some silly feud that could have been avoided. Were it a different situation, one that was unjust...then perhaps that might be different. But in this case, he was on his own. And she would do what she could to support him, but she wouldn't put herself in between any longer. She knew he had been avoiding it for this long, and someday it would catch up to him. Even when he was accused of being a traitor by her own offspring, she had always defended him. She didn't once think him a traitor, simply a wolf who made mistakes just like everyone else. She listened carefully to his explanation to her question, her heart growing heavy with each passing moment. She hated the way she was feeling. Why did all of this have to happen all at once? First her own emotional turmoil with her family already falling apart. Her insecurities. Her wounded soul. The feelings that she wasn't good enough for her family. And now he was dying. She supposed what she told Bass was true. She wasn't meant to be happy, but instead, her life was meant to be a constant struggle that she just didn't want to deal with it anymore. She lowered her head to her forepaws, a low whine passing her lips. She was frustrated by it all, but mostly with herself. She had become so numb by this point, that for some reason she expected something to happen that would tear away any chance at happiness that she had. At first when they confessed their feelings for each other, she thought that was what she had wanted. But then slowly over time, she realized that they were more strangers to each other then mates. He wasn't around very much. He hardly talked to her except in meetings and the like. And he even hardly spent time with the kids...and the day he had asked to become secondary, she had indeed considered it even days after. But the more she did think about it, the more she felt he wasn't suited for the position. His demeanor didn't show that he was alpha material. He was always lost in his own mind, depressed, and just accepting whatever life threw at him. She needed someone who was strong enough to handle any situation that wouldn't buckle under pressure. Someone who could defend themselves as well as the pack when it came down to it. Someone who could protect her too. And with this, she felt like she was doing all the protecting. She felt the roles were reversed. Like he was the weak maiden and she the knight that protected. It was exhausting, and she couldn't do it anymore. "I...don't know what to say...I've never known someone to die of a sickness...it's not something I've experienced before..." She pulled herself up to sit, wincing as her resting shoulder stretched with the movement. She reached over to touch him gently on his neck, finding it difficult to express how this information made her feel. When she pulled away, she felt so mixed up with emotions that it was hard to tell which was which, let alone sort them out. "I'll always be here for support, Vereux. I care about you, I really do. But..." She had to tell him. She just felt that she had to. And there was no way he could guess what it was, because she hadn't had these thoughts up until recently. "But" could mean anything she supposed...but she knew she had to tell him eventually. Talk like this

Most of his days had been spent with his kids. Enlil, and Charm. Maybe not so much Okami but still. He had buried a butterfly with Enlil, always was he trying to teach charm more about healing and it was something she enjoyed. Yet he didn't think Avalon noticed that much. The man had one single chance to prove with a second litter how much of a father he could be. That was the one thing he could do after all. Besides, Vereux was what he thought. The weak struggled in their lives and if he couldn't be what anyone wanted that was the pressure of it all. Yet he struggled and that's what he did. Just above the surface with the waves crashing down. It confused him when she spoke a bit. So many things ran through his head but he kept his mouth shut. He wasn't going to try and make assumptions at the moment. Yet he wanted to. She didn't want him anymore, and didn't he dare not notice the scents of others among hers. He just... hadn't been there for her. Perhaps for some of their children but that was that. “But what Avalon?” he whispered mildly in an irritated sense of a tone. So sick and tired. Was she going to ask him to leave. Sure support was there, but that wasn't entirely what he needed was it. At this point it was clear to him she was more of a good friend - though he didn't deny his own feelings. He would and still forever, would want to remain at her side. Even if it was doing absolutely nothing. There was so many things he wanted to say, but he had no right to say them. The day he had asked to be her secondary, he had intentions of being good of getting better. Wolves just didn't see that in him, so he never got better. What was the point? If not just to teach his kids what they wanted to know so they wouldn't grow up to be like him. Gods be damned if they ended up like him. His boys had been so much like Athena and partly Amalia, these kids he hoped more over would take after Avalon herself. “Vereux” “Avalon”