This whole giving Mercy her space and freedom thing was driving him insane. It took every fiber of patience and calm he had to keep himself from tracking her down and gluing himself to her like sap on a tree. He didn't own her. He kept having to tell himself that. It was a whole new way of thinking for him. A growl rumbled in his chest and he gave himself a small shake as he padded across the open land and came to a stop at the top of a hill that overlooked a herd of buffalo. He still didn't know how he had gotten himself in this situation. How could one woman have him so entrapped and so fixated? He knew how. He didn't want to admit it sometimes, but he had let her get to him and he had done it happily. He had made the mistake of wandering through the Battlefield and that had only reminded him of the first time he had ever clashed with his violet-eyed beauty. Now he was here, staring at some big mammals that he may or may not want to hunt, contemplating how he could possibly hunt her down. He was sure she would reappear eventually, but eventually wasn't soon enough. He wanted her now. No, he wanted her yesterday. "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

The tightrope that I'm walking just sways and ties She had been this way and that, wandering aimlessly for awhile now. She still hadn't heard a thing from Gethin, or even caught a drift of his scent. Without thinking too much on it, she just assumed that he was done with her. How long had any of her relationships lasted? Even her brother, who had promised to be there for her no matter what, and then left without so much as a word. For as long as she could remember, Mercy had always been alone. Everything good that came her way was nothing but a taste of the sweet life; it was always fleeting and didn't last very long at all. The dame knew that she was fucked up, and it was probably most likely all on her head. She just wasn't worth sticking around for. Both her and Gethin had had a thing for sleeping around, so she just assumed that he went off to chase tail again. As for herself, well... she hadn't been with anyone since him. Of course, it wasn't for a lack of trying. Everyone she had run into either shot down her flirting, were far too young, or just... not interesting. It was a rather dull world out there, now that Imperium was gone. It was her purpose, her reason to get up and actually do something with her life. But now, now she was growing tired, looking for something to do. The days had started to blend together, and she couldn't even remember the last time she had seen the dark brute, or anyone that she cared about. How many times had the sun set since she had seen Revenge? Did he even care about her, at all? For him to just leave her like that... well it broke her heart. But of course she showed nothing of that, or the fact that once again, it was just her. She had taken to wandering the knolls a bit, visiting her old spots and being haunted by memories. They flashed passed her now, but she couldn't focus on just one image. They scrolled quickly though her minds eye, distracting her enough that she didn't quite see where she was walking, or who she was walking closer to. Blinking, her purple eyes came into focus to see Gethin sitting on one of the hills, watching the buffalo before him. A range of emotions spiraled though her as she stared at him, unsure of what to say or feel. Was he just an illusion? No, there he was, as plain as day. Before her heart could settle on one, she reacted with the rawness of it all. "I would have assumed you were off with a new broad, not just sitting here staring at buffalo," she said, her voice cracking with pain and anger. The devil, as he's talking, with those angel's eyes "SPEAK"

He wasn't paying attention to the world around him. He was just staring blindly at the meaningless buffalo below while memories of Mercy rolled through his head for the millionth time. Maybe if he had been paying attention he would have noticed the fact that she had appeared like a ghost from his memories. Her emotion filled voice rang in his ears and for a moment he thought maybe he was just imagining it. Great, now he was hearing voices on top of everything else. That was just what he needed. A heartbeat later he realized that her scent was heavy on the air around him and that finally made him turn. His blood-red gaze landed on her face as disbelief and a bit of relief hit him. There she was. The one woman that had ever managed to turn him into a one-woman wolf. Well, as close to it as he ever would be. Her words finally registered with him then. "I would have assumed you were off with a new broad, not just sitting here staring at buffalo." He wanted to laugh and call her ridiculous, to wave away the very thought of him finding someone else to spend his time with besides her. However, he could see in her face and the tone of her voice that she clearly meant what she said. He gave her a little shake of his head as he turned to face her fully. "Afraid not. I haven't seen another soul since we parted last." His voice was as deep and rumbling as ever, if a bit rough from lack of use. "It's hard to be with a new broad when I can't stop thinking about you." He padded closer to her, knowing full well that it could get him a face full of teeth if she was angry enough. Hell, she didn't even have to be angry for him to get a bite out of her. Not that he minded usually. "I've been trying so hard to give you freedom and not hunt you down, but I fucking hate it," he rumbled as he paused inches from her, watching her and trying to gauge her reactions before he tried anything else. Restraint was never his strong suit, but Mercy pushed his limits in so many ways. Why would this be any different? "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

I gave you everything and never asked for anything, and look at me, I'm all alone. So, before you start defendin' It would seem that he didn't hear her at first, that or he was just going to ignore her. The pale woman stood frozen in her position, still trying to get a handle on her emotions. It was hard, it was always quite the struggle for her to sort out anything pertaining to herself. Her purple eyes bore into the back of his head, if she tried hard enough maybe she could pop it open and see everything inside. Why he would do this to her, and if he was afraid of her. Had she scared him away by coming off too strong? Mercy wasn't used to having the kinds of feelings that this man brought up in her. She slept around because it made her feel loved and important. It made her feel powerful and like she was in control, and not the sniffling child that left her parents too soon. She tried to cast it off as being in her blood, but it made her matter in some way. Sex was love and love was pain, and pain was sex. It was an endless loop, and who could really love if they didn't love themselves? All this tossed around in her head before he even looked at her, and when he did, it was anger that took over at last. She let the rage boil down any other emotions that may make her feel raw and open, watching as he shook his head. She let out a deranged growl mixed with a snort, like she didn't believe his words at all. She had enough grace to let him finish talking though, something he was damn lucky to get. He kept going on, saying that he was giving her freedom. Freedom? "When the fuck did I ever ask for space? I said I needed to deal with shit, but apparently you took that as I needed space? That's when I needed you to come after me, and show me that you cared!" she roared, her jaws snapping shut with a loud click. Mercy's hackles raised, taking a step back from Gethin. Her eyes started to mist, which only made her more pissed off. "You didn't even bother trying, you just gave up and sat here to sing your sad song. Fuck if I care, keep being a sad little sop," turning away from him, she started to walk away. Taking a pause for a moment, she looked over her shoulder, her purple eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "You could have easily come and tried to look for me, and then I could tell you if I needed more time or not, which I didn't, but you didn't. Did you. I guess it was all an act. Forever doesn't exist." Twisting away, she sighed and went to go. -attempted exit- Baby, stop all your pretendin', I know you know I know. So what's the point in being slow? Let's get the show on the road today "SPEAK"

Boy was he right to assume she was furious. But, just like everything with Mercy it seemed, the level he assumed things were at was only a conservative estimate to where they really were. Her anger felt like a sickness that rolled off of her and seeped into him as she spoke. Gethin never raised his voice and he very rarely ever got truly angry. Before Mercy he very rarely felt emotion for that matter. Everything got covered up by sex and the chase for it. That was something they had in common. But as she spoke, blaming him for not coming after her, for not making her feel like she cared to him, frustration bloomed in the pit of his stomach and that frustration boiled into anger. He watched her back away from him, and his jaw tensed to keep it shut and keep him from reaching out for her. He let the last of her words fall to his ears, but it wasn't until she turned to walk away that his tense muscles finally sprung to life. He lunged forward, running ahead of her and blocking her path as a furious growl rattled his chest. His eyes bore into hers as his gaze found her face again, his hackles prickling. "Do you want me to drag you back to my den by your neck? Do you want me to trap you there till you actually believe that you'll never leave again?" he demanded, his voice catching and taking on a seething anger that he had never thought would be there, at least not around Mercy. "Because I can. I've done it. More than once. I don't like doing it, but if that is what you want from me then damn it I can." He gave a sharp shake of his head at the thought. "That's how I would treat some 'broad' that I wanted that tried to leave me. But you... You walked away from me and I let you." He paused for a moment, breathing hard against the stress of his own emotions and desires. "I don't know how to live in between. I don't know how be between nothing and everything. I've never had a... relationship, if you want to call it that. Hell, I've never had a friend. I wasn't singing some fucking sad song, I was fucking furious at myself for caring so damn much that I wanted to let you figure out your shit without having me in your way!" "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

So scream you, out from behind the bitter ache, you're hanging on the memory you need most. You still want love, love's ugly, smooth and delicate This time, he didn't let her walk away. He stopped right in front of her and growled, and she answered back with a roar of her own. Her lips pulled back from her teeth, her hackles standing end to end. His angry words fell on her like hail, hitting her body with each furious word. Now this, this is something she could handle. She knew what to do with anger, or at least what was going to happen. When he had finished his little story she got really close to him, swinging her lower half in an attempt to ram her right hip against his left flank. Violence, that is what this girl was all about. This time it wasn't for pleasure, but to try and quell some of the boiling anger inside of her. "I never asked you to keep me in a fucking cage, all I needed you to do was to show that you cared! You didn't even try to come and find me, Gethin, you just sat here and waited more me to find you. How should I fucking know that you even care about me if you don't even try to show it? You never tried to stop me, never tried to even ask where I was going! You just moved aside and watched my fine ass walk away from you!" she screamed, her voice very loud in their close confines. Her ears flickered as the buffalo before them grew unsettled, but she didn't care. "So why did you let me walk away, huh? If you cared so much like you fucking told me, you wouldn't have let me leave! I needed you to FIGHT for me!" Mercy stood there, her sides heaving, and grew silent for a moment. She hadn't realized it until it left her lips. She needed him to fight for her, to show her that he really cared. She was never one to believe in everything someone said, or even what she said sometimes. She was so used to playing games that sometimes she forgot what was real and what was a lie. But actions? Well they did speak stronger than words, and that is what she needed. The pale woman had wanted him to come running after her, that's why she left. She was testing him, wanting to test their boundaries. It was all such a new thing to her, that she wasn't sure how it all worked. Mercy was always one to push things, not having grown up in a very secure home life would make you that way. Everything had felt too fast and too perfect, and nothing like that ever happened to her. It was sure to break, just like everything else. Just like he had let it. She tried to hide the tears that gathered in her eyes, her complete and utter frustration making her feel like she was going to cry. This wasn't how she wanted it, or was it? Did she even really deserve happiness anyways? She was a pretty messed up wolf, and not much good had come her way that hadn't gone to hell in a hand basket. A shuddered sigh left her lips, her narrowed eyes looking the dark man up and down. "I don't even know what to call us! What are we? What even am I to you? Am I just another notch in your branch?" she spat, her elongated tail curling up and over her back. "Am I just someone to go and brag about, and then compare to everyone else out there? Cause there isn't anyone like me! I'm the only fucking one of my special fucked up breed," Clearly she was really good at thinking of words. Apparently fuck was a special one today. She snorted quickly though her nose, her sides hurting from all the yelling and growling. Once more she took a step back from him, her head swimming. "And maybe you were one of the things I was trying to figure out!" she tossed at him, her head shaking back and forth in quick succession. But not without affection, no not alone. And instead of wishing that it would get better, man you're seeing that you just get angrier "SPEAK"

He let her hip slam into him, leaving a wave of mild pain in its wake. She could rip his face apart right now for all he cared. She had gotten him to such a level of frustration that his body felt numb in the worst way. He wanted to yell back but it didn't. He wanted to rip his teeth into her but he didn't. He just stood there, his muscles trembling and stomach tying itself into knots while she screamed at him and threw blame at him and told him that everything he had tried to do for her was wrong. "I don't know how to care," he replied in the momentary silence. He didn't yell, he didn't scream. His voice was a low, seething, cracking thing that he was ashamed of the moment it left his lips. She twisted him and broke him so easily and he just kept cursing himself for letting himself get so close and so comfortable with her. He hated feeling helpless. He wanted to be calm and controlled. The only time in his life he had felt more furious and helpless than this was when he had murdered his father. That rage was justifiable. This... What was this? He was about to go off on another rant, spew off some more heated words, until she took a step back from him and finally stopped. "And maybe you were one of the things I was trying to figure out!" He stopped, letting the silence surrounded them for a moment while he just focused his breathing till it slowed and his hackles smoothed back down. "I don't own you," he added, telling her the same mantra he had been telling himself all this time. "Do you understand how much that means coming from me? I don't own you. That's what I've been telling myself the whole fucking time you were gone! I'm still trying to figure out how to care for you and when you left to do whatever it is you needed to do, I told myself, 'you don't own her, you can't force her to come back if she doesn't want to'." He could feel his voice rising desperately again, and he growled as he slammed his forepaw into the ground with an unsatisfying thud. He paused, gritting his teeth as he started getting angry again, this time at himself. "I wanted to do whatever was best for you. And if that meant getting the fuck away from me then that's what I wanted you to do. I wouldn't have blamed you. I-" his voice broke and he shook his head with a growl. No. He refused to break down. He hated this. "I didn't want to hunt you down only to see you with someone else or to see that you didn't want me to be there. I didn't... I didn't want the rejection." That was the truth of the matter, wasn't it? He had never let someone in like this, he had never wanted someone to be happy so fucking badly. Before he had only cared if whoever he was with was well fed and healthy and at least liked him enough to let him fuck them. But this... What was this?! "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

What's it all about? Yet, if he said he loved me, I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope. Her hip slammed into him without any protest, a minor bruise mirroring his. They were too close for it to do too much damage, but it wasn't all she wanted to do to him. She wanted to bite into him, tear him apart and watch him bleed. Would that make her feel better? Maybe... okay probably not but, it was a thought. She was in too deep with the man before her, her emotions were too wrapped up in him to just give up. Truth be told, all of this scared her nine ways to heaven. She didn't know how to process her emotions for him, or even the connection she felt. Is that why she was fighting with such animosity? There was just too much to process, and it was all so complicated. The only other person she had even felt anything close to this was her brother, and look how that all turned up. They were related, they where flesh and blood, and he still abandoned her. There was a real and true fear that twisted her belly into knots about Gethin, about losing him or even growing more attached to him. They had hardly known each other when all of this happened, and look how strong they went on. But nothing could stay strong forever, everything had its weak point. Between Mercy and Gethin? It was emotions. Neither of them knew how to process it, or even what to call it. And now here they stood, both baring their fangs at each other. When it grew silent around them, he said something about not knowing how to care. Her head whipped up, purple eyes honing in at him. "And you think I do? I don't know the first thing about it! Everyone I have ever loved has gotten up and left on me. Anyone I let in, let close to me, vanished. I'm starting to think that it's all my fault, I'm just a big fat bitch that no one could ever love!" she retorted sharply, taking a deep breath through her nose. She shut her eyes for a moment, trying to take a few calming breaths. What fat luck that did, her mind reeling. She didn't even realize what she had said, although it wasn't a true admittance to her feelings it was still something. Maybe seeing how much Gethin had cared for her. Or if he still did? She wasn't sure, not after this. Once her final words were out about trying to sort her thoughts on him, a very heavy silence grew between them. Her eyes were still closed, heavy breaths leaving her maw as she tried to reign in her emotions. Then Gethin started to speak about the fact that he needed to figure out how to care for her, and that he didn't own her. "Fuckin' right you don't own me," she muttered, although the insult was only halfhearted. "And what do you mean by 'how to care for me'? You just fucking do you. I don't care, I don't NEED to be attended to and cared for. I do a fine enough job of that on my own. I don't need anything! I just want..." What exactly? She sighed, opening her eyes and gazing at him. She was no longer yelling, but there was still an edge to her voice. But that was the thing, she didn't know what she wanted. There was no way she would be able to get a normal life, or a family of her own. She just longed to be... well... wanted really. She wanted to feel like she was special and important, and like she was cared for. Was that too much to ask? "I wanted to come back, I planned to come back. But... I was waiting for you to come find me. For you to prove yourself to me, I guess..." Her voice was growing more and more unsure as his voice rose. She sighed, her hackles settling along her spine. When he spoke of her rejecting him, her fur stood on end once more, her lips twitching. "Did I ever give you the impression that I wanted to be anywhere else than with you? Did I ever say that I wanted to leave? Or do you just have that little faith in me?" she spat, her tail curling over her spine. She took a step closer to him, her eyes were icy cold as she looked at him. "I meant it when I said that I had never felt this way before. I meant what I said about not having a connection with anyone else. Did you?" she asked, her voice an almost eerie calm. "What the fuck am I to you?" She choked out, her voice raising at the end. What did he even think of her? Just that he couldn't own her? "Am I just a challenge for you? Something to tame and tie down? What the fuck do you want from me Gethin? I thought I gave you everything! I thought those whispered words were meaningful, I don't always just talk to hear the sound of my own voice. I thought I...." She stopped, shaking her head back and forth. She thought she let him know just how much she cared. Too much. I'd turn my head. I'd back away. I wouldn't want to know. He scares me so. I want him so. I love him so. "SPEAK"

Mercy's words hit him like pieces of hail, hitting him with a sharp force that just left him silent. He was beginning to realize that yelling back would never solve this. They were driving each other in heated circles that never seemed to end. He clamped his mouth shut and forced himself to take deep breaths till his heart began to calm and his hackles rested against his spine again. Occasionally he would quietly interject a statement here and there, but that's all he let himself say. "I know you can," he'd say when she insisted that she could take care of herself. "This is how I thought I was proving myself to you," he added when she told him that she had been waiting on him. That was all he dared to say. She stepped closer to him and he wouldn't flinch away from her icy gaze. He let her finish before he spoke again and when he did he wanted to choose his words carefully even though that was easier said than done. His emotions were spinning like a hurricane and it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to think with. This sure as hell wasn't how he pictured their reunion. "You're not the only one that has been abandoned again and again, Mercy." His voice was finally even and calm once again, despite how he was feeling. "But... no. You never gave me a reason to think that you wanted to be without me. I had faith in you. I didn't have faith in myself and my worth and my ability to be worthy of any kind of real companionship." He sighed, shaking his head more at himself than anything else. There was still one question he hadn't answered and it was the one that he struggled the most with. "You... You are my greatest challenge, but in the best way imaginable. You challenge me and push me in ways that I never thought possible. I never want to tame you. I want to savor every last wild streak you have and just hold on for the ride. Every word I said to you back then was the truth and meant more to me than anything else." He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat while he tried to fight back the wave of emotions that threatened to overtake him again. "You're everything to me. I don't know how to label what this is... All I know is that I never want to be without you for that long again. I never want to leave your side again if I can help it. I want to pamper you, not because I don't think you can care for yourself, but just because I want to treat you like the queen you are to me. I don't want to tie you down, but I still want you all to myself- for you to be only mine." He just wanted to cross what little space was between them and feel her scruff in his teeth and feel all of her body pressed to his. That that was what he knew. That's how he knew to show his emotions. He wasn't good at expressing himself in words or expressions. The more he spoke the more frustrated he could feel himself becoming again purely because he wanted to give Mercy a firm answer and he just didn't have one. He didn't know what the fuck they were, he didn't know how to label this twisted up relationship they had found themselves in. He only knew he wanted her so badly in every way possible, even beyond all the physical, primal needs. "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

This morning I woke up with this feeling, I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it She watched him with narrowed eyes as he started to breath, and she was about to bitch him out all over again. But this time, she just left it. They were getting nowhere with all this yelling, and sooner or later they needed to calm down before someone lost a limb. He had thought that by waiting, that he was proving it to her that way. She wanted to snap at him for being so stupid, but as her anger melted away she realized that she hadn't really laid out what she expected. In fact, she had never told him anything about what she wanted or hoped for, because she had been so afraid to put a label on what they were. Her brother abandoning her had done more damage than she realized, and it was something that she didn't really want to think about right now. Mercy could tell that he was thinking over his words more before he spoke, and she allowed him the time she needed. Her own hackles were down, and her boiling anger was down to a simmer now. There was stil very much a chance for him to add some heat, but for right now she was calm enough to really listen to what he was saying without it going in one ear in out the other. She hadn't realized that he had been left alone as well, it wasn't really something that they had talked about. Her frown deepened, but she said nothing on the matter -- for now. That fact was stored away for later, now was not the time to go on about things like that. He went on to explain that she was his greatest challenge, and she just blinked at him when the words started to pour out. The pale woman fell to her rump, her mind reeling at everything that he was saying. Her jaw hung slack as he went on to toss sweet words at her, something that she didn't deserve after everything that she had just said to him. Not in a million years would she have thought that she would have a relationship like this, or someone that cared about her in the manner. It sounded like he was going to confess a very strong feeling for her, a feeling that she wasn't ready to even admit to herself, let alone to say or hear. There was only a little space left between them, and while Mercy was feeling so utterly confused, she closed the gap and pressed her chest into Gethin's, although her own body was tense. She was at a loss for words, which was something for the usually loud creature. Her heart was skipping beats, her thoughts stammering into one big long word. She didn't know what to say, so she just said nothing. Pressing her neck hesitantly into his, she just stood there for a long while, abandoning her post on the ground to grow close to him once more. She could hear the frustration in his words as he too tried to gather his thoughts, mirroring the same emotion that took over the rest of the anger. What were they to each other? He wanted to possess her without taming her; he wanted her to be without a cage. But how can you own something -- someone -- and have them without anyone else? The pale woman had never been with just one man, she was unsure if she could ever give herself wholly to another. But this was the closest that she had ever gotten, and didn't know what more she could give him. "I..." she started, only to fall quiet once more. Was there anything that she could say, after all of this? "I'm sorry..." Mercy whispered, the only thing that would leave her lips at the time. She was sorry about yelling at him, on accusing things that he had not done intentionally. For not knowing how to reply, or how to admit what she felt for him. For... everything and anything. It was hard for her to admit that she had been wrong, but it was even more difficult to formulate her emotions. Her ears pinned flat against her head, a long, heavy sigh leaving her lips. Where could they even go from here? What was the next step? Mercy had no idea, she was pretty much internally flailing. Unwilling to pull back, she just waited. And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room, I think I love you (I think I love you) "SPEAK"

He watched her slowly go from rage to something that looked like confusion or bewilderment as he spoke, even sending her back onto her rump. Well, at least he had gotten her to listen now. Once he had talked himself out he wouldn't say another word. Instead, he just watched her. He searched for any reaction or response- weather it was positive or negative he didn't care. He just needed some sign that his words meant something significant to her. He was a lier and a murder. She was the only one that could pull this kind of truth and emotion out of him. When she stood once again to close what little space was still between them he let her without complaint. A quiet sigh passed his lips when her neck pressed to his and he lightly leaned into the touch. He thought he would find some kind of joy from her touch, but it was much more akin to peace or relief. His ears perked a bit when she spoke, listening to the short response that she offered him. He hesitated for a moment, not entirely sure what she was apologizing for. Although in the end he wondered if it really mattered. She could be apologizing for everything or nothing. He knew that for a girl like her just saying sorry wasn't an easy task. "I'm sorry too..." he rumbled softly, leaning into her more earnestly. His chest pressed into hers gently while his neck curved around hers. He buried his face in Mercy's scruff, breathing in her scent that he loved so desperately. What did it mean to want her by his side every moment of the day while still wanting to give her the freedom and growth she deserved? He didn't know how to do that. But... He wanted to learn. He wanted to learn so desperately. He wanted to be everything she needed him to be and more. He turned his head to nibble lightly at the fur and skin right between her shoulder blades. He was trying his best to keep himself from just forgetting all this emotional talk and getting to what they were both far more comfortable with. Being surrounded with her scent was making it hard though. He needed to get past this though. He needed to address all of this now because he wasn't sure how he would ever get the courage to do it again. "Mercy, I... I want you. Not just you, but your heart and your soul. No matter if they're in broken or in pieces. I want all of you." As he spoke softly he brought his head up, his muzzle lightly brushing the back of her neck as he shifted so he could reach her ears. His tongue ran over the delicate skin gently before his teeth found one and grazed across it. "Even if you can't be with just me... That's okay. I just want to be the only one that knows your heart and soul like this." He pulled back from her just enough do that his eyes could find hers and he searched her expression for any reaction again. Before he could stop them and before he really even consciously thought of them, the words came tumbling out of his mouth. "I love you, Mercy." He snapped his jaws shut, cutting himself off before he went rambling on again. What was he thinking?! Maybe that was the problem. Perhaps he wasn't thinking. He had over thought everything for so long and now he was just going on his emotions and his gut and he didn't know how to handle it. "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

Because it's too soon, too soon, I can't forget the times (can't forget the times). And you're too new, too new, can't let you come inside, I stay the night. Everything vanished when those words left his lips. She forgot everything that he had said before as the world went totally silent. She watched him snap his jaws shut after he had told her that he loved her, but it was too late. He couldn't take those words back now. Her mind was spinning as she tried to formulate her thoughts. Everything that she had loved and cared for had left, and she didn't want to lose him too. The pale woman fell completely silent, not sure what to say or where to go from this point. She found herself taking a step back from him, her ears flat against her head. She shook, not from the cold from being apart, not from the stress she felt. It was from the fighting emotions in her mind, her body just felt like caving into itself. "I..." she started, looking up to meet that red gaze she knew so well. She saw it in her sleep, and thought about him in her waking hours. But it was too soon, too quick for her to fully give herself to him. She had let others in before, had let other wolves get that close... And what happened? They up and left. She thought that it was her, she was the one at fault for everything. Gethin was special, too important for him to just disappear like everyone else had. "Don't get me wrong Gethin, I care about you. In fact I care about you too much..." Her voice was a broken whisper, and this time the tears did fall. She let them, unable to keep back the raw emotion that boiled inside of her. Mercy sniffled against them, her sides quivering. "I'm scared, too scared to let you in like that. To admit or even feel what you want me to feel. Worst of it all, I think I could l... care for you in that manner," she broke off, a shuttering sigh leaving her lips. "But I can't let my walls completely down. I can't have you walk away like everyone else has. I'm so sorry," Mercy sobbed out the last statement, taking another step back from him. Would he still want her by his side after this, now that he knew just how messed up she was? She was quite sure that she was unable to love. After everything they had been through, all the word that they had spoken to each other, she just couldn't take that final step. It broke her apart inside, but the fear was greater than everything else. Her, Mercy, the most ironically named wolf ever was afraid. Usually she would be trying to hide it, but it was all she could say. Fear coursed through her now, so scared that he was going to get up and just walk away. Just like everyone else. And you think that I'm teasing, but I ain't got no reason. Just too soon, too soon (too soon for me to give my love to you) "SPEAK"

You fucked up. You've gone and fucked it up. Way to go," was all he could think to himself as she stood there in complete silence. This all had gone so much father than he ever thought it would when they first fought on the battlefield all that time ago. Why couldn't he have just controlled himself? If he had just kept it casual, had just fucked her whenever they crossed paths, just known her as the really kinky girl... but he didn't do that. He let her in, he told her his secrets, he fell in love. Words tumbled from her lips and he was disappointed but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't process everything she had said. After the first sentence everything felt like it ran together in his head and he shut back down. He shoved all of his feelings away, good and bad, trying desperately to find that numbness that he had put himself into for so long before that night they had spent together, when she had woken him up with her nightmares. The silence hurt more than anything she had said once it rushed back in on them. "It's okay," he lied when she took a step back from him. His voice held no conviction. It felt like he was saying words just to say words. It wasn't okay, but he didn't want her to leave and he couldn't be mad at her. He was the one that had fucked up. It was his fault. Like she had said, it wasn't like she didn't care about him. He had just fucked it up by pushing it too far too fast. His gaze drifted away from her, looking down and to the side. "I shouldn't have pushed it." "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

Because it's too soon, too soon, I can't forget the times (can't forget the times). And you're too new, too new, can't let you come inside, I stay the night. As soon as the words left her mouth, she saw her mistake. Her eyes flew open wide as she watched Gethin replace his walls around him, brick by brick. He was closing off from her, shutting down and becoming emotionless. A broken sob left her lips as she stepped towards him once more, her shattered heart on the ground between them. "No Gethin, no. Please don’t shut me out… please!" she called, obvious fear in her voice. She felt desperation rise in her chest and it choked her, starving her of oxygen as her emotions took hold of her body. Was this her mother’s bipolar nature rearing up in her? "I can’t lose you, everyone I have ever loved has gone away! They’ve all left me, even though I thought we had something special. The only other wolf I loved so truly, my brother, left me. He just up and took off without so much as a word… If I… If I give myself to you like that how can I be sure that you won’t go away? How can I be certain that my heart won’t be ripped from my chest as you walk away? I’m cursed Gethin, my love slowly kills every wolf who has ever cared for me. I can’t… I can’t do that to you!" Her voice was raising again, but it was more passionate than angry. It was the most honest that she had ever been with herself since the beginning of time, and it was the most she had ever admitted to another soul. Not even Revenge had seen just how truly broken his sister was. "I’m an intoxicating poison that is deadly, no matter the dose. If you left me like everyone else, my heart wouldn’t be able to mend again. I can’t..." Mercy stopped, her head shaking back and forth in quick succession. She didn’t know what else to say. She had just exposed him to all her inner thoughts and demons, to the things that plagued her in the back of her mind. Mercy had never loved herself, and while she was confident in her abilities, the self doubt never went away. The loneliness never left her. This was the first time that she had felt a connection with someone like this and it scared the ever living shit out of her. It was so raw, so true and precious that she knew it would break apart in her paws. This scarred dame wasn’t one to be gentle, and his heart had been. Now look where they were. Sniffling, she stared at him with eyes wide open, unable to stop the year's worth of suppressed tears that leaked down her black marked face. Her paws were frozen in place, her usually solid limbs quivering. She struggled to hold herself together, as her world slowly came crumbling down around her. Had she just given up on the one good thing that had happened to her in a long time? And you think that I'm teasing, but I ain't got no reason. Just too soon, too soon (too soon for me to give my love to you) "SPEAK"

Gethin's ruby gaze darted back up to Mercy's face when he heard her desperate plea for him not to shut her out. His brows pulled together with confusion, but he didn't deny her or respond. He watched her move toward him again, and he was actually surprised at himself with how wary he felt. He had given her everything and laid out his whole heart in front of her and just moments ago she had denied him, but now she seemed to be scrambling to do the same. He fully faced her once again and he wouldn't interrupt while she spoke, but he could already feel the tension sliding off his shoulders and his freshly rebuilt walls getting chipped away at. How could he have ever believed that he could just push down his emotions again around her? From the first day they met she had seen him at his most raw. The day they clashed on the battlefield had been him in on of his very few uncontrolled rages. And now here they were, at an emotional stand off. It didn't help that everything she said resonated with him so loudly and so deeply. He watched her as she began to shake under the pressure of her own emotions and what little bit of his walls were left got brushed away. He could talk a big talk and he could tell himself that he didn't care if she loved him back or not, but he was just lying to himself. Seeing her like this ripped him apart. He carefully padded toward her, slowly closing what little space was between them. He'd let her back away from him again if she really wanted to, but he really hoped she wouldn't. "Mercy," he said quietly, his gaze fixed on hers and his tone serious. "I am not going to leave you. I swear to you. The only reason I would leave you is if I'm dead, and even then I'd probably still haunt you." He tried to slip a small bit of humor there on the end, but he couldn't tell if it just fell flat or not. He wasn't exactly in the most humorous mood. "I know what it's like to get abandoned over and over again... I killed for my brother and he still disappeared from my life. I don't want you to ever feel like that because of me. And you know what... If your love kills me, at least I'll die happy." He gave her a small smile and leaned forward to tentatively brush his muzzle against hers, his eyes closing for a moment at the small touch. All of this emotion was like a deep, ever present ache in his chest that never seemed to let up or let him fully breathe. He didn't know what would give him any kind of relief, but for now he was willing to just have this heart ache sitting in his chest as long as he still had Mercy with him. "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon

In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up. These wounds have been open for forever now. Come on, be strong. He stepped towards her, and she put her head down on his shoulder and cried into his grey fur. She sniffled as her legs gave out, and she fell rather dramatically on his paws. His words soothed her mind, but she found that she just couldn't keep on. She had drained all her energy in the long, emotional battle that they had suffered. Her lids slid half closed, and she started to curl into a tight little ball. Sleepily she looked up a Gethin, a distant smile on her mouth. "Can... can we just sleep now? And talk about this later? I'm so tired," she whispered, her voice broken. She didn't want to talk anymore, she didn't want to find. All she wanted to do was take his sweet last words and slip into a dark, uninterrupted sleep. Here on the knolls was fine, it was warm enough that she wasn't afraid of exposure or growing cold. It was just too much right now, too many episodes. Mercy wanted to sleep for a week, and it would all be okay once she woke up. Right? Your mind has gotten the best of you. You've done enough and you are enough. Let's fall asleep tonight, I'll hold you close and show you you're not broken. "SPEAK"

Gethin watched while Mercy suddenly went from emotional wreck to an exhausted heap. He watched her with worry mixed confusion as she started to curl into a ball. When she gave him her request he didn't know what to say. He didn't have a response really other than to sigh and chuckle softly with a gentle shake of his head. Sometimes he wondered what he had gotten himself into with her, but at the same time he was sure she had just as hard a time dealing with him at times. Nothing had really been resolved or fixed, but he didn't guess that there was much more to do about it now. It was clear that she was done for the time being. He settled down on his stomach next to her and gently curled his body around hers out of habit before he rested his head on his paws and let his eyes close. He would be here when she was ready for him again, just like always. "SPEAK!"

Art by Otackoon