Today had been a bit warmer than usual, enough to cause the snow to begin melting just a bit, working with the occasional rain to leave a wet, slushy ground. Just below that was the mud. Caelum's paws were making slurping sputtering sounds every time she pulled one out from where it had sunk into the slimy earth. So much for being mostly ivory in color. Cae grimaced at the sight of her discolored pelt, deciding that her first order of business today would be to find somewhere to clean up the mess that was herself.

When she saw a bunch of willow trees, saying in the slight breeze ahead of her Cae grew excited. It would be so, so nice to have somewhere nice to relax for a while. Maybe the ground would be less mucky there too. Could things be looking up this fine morning?

She was pleased to find the terrain much easier to traverse in this area. Whether it was that this particular section of land had gotten less rain lately, or maybe a lack of snow prior to the recent rain, it was nice to finally walk without having to pull extra hard to get her paws back up from the ground with every step. Coming on a winding creek that was surrounded by curling, knotted roots, she soon found herself standing in the cool water hoping to wash off her terribly muddy paws for the first time in a few days.

It was lovely to simply stay here and relax, focusing on nothing but the sound of the moving water and the wind whistling through the willow trees. Recent events had left her head spinning so bad and with so few breaks that she'd almost begun to feel ill. Now she could stand here - with no surprise visits from Zephyr or anyone else - and just be. She hoped she'd soon be able to get back to feeling better.

It was so beautiful here. Avani had been there for several days now, and she almost didn’t want to leave for one, the ground was dry here… but other than that, the willows were simply soothing to her soul. Since coming here, she hadn’t woken up with nightmares. The soft trickle of water lulled her to sleep, and she relished in the silence and tranquility of the land. Not that it was ever truly silent; the soft sounds of the critters around her constantly filled her ears… but it was silent from others, and the solitude was quite nice right now.

She knew she’d move on soon, though. She couldn’t stay in one place too long anymore; she had to constantly be on the move, looking for new conversation, new wolves, new people to help and be around. This was a rather secluded area - especially since this was a little oasis in a sea of mud - and no wolves had stumbled upon it since she made it her temporary home.

She sighed quietly, circling around a few of the trees as she delved towards the outer rim of the willow bushes, pausing as the wind blew a scent directly toward her. It caused her to laugh - she was just complaining in her head how she’d not seen anyone around, and someone appears! There was something though, as she focused more on the scent, that was distinctly bothering her about the wolf. There was something… familiar. It hit her hard when she finally remembered; the wolf smelled very similar to that of her mother, Caelum.

Caelum, who’d she not seen in three years. Caelum, who had not been among the many bodies of Avani’s family and pack. The woman paused, her paw poised over a small stream. No - it couldn’t be. It had to be a mere coincidence, because already Avani was picking out the subtle differences. When Avani approached, she spotted the brown and black female, and she felt both relieved… and disappointed. It wasn’t her mother; her mother certainly wasn’t brown and black with white… she wasn’t brown at all. True, she could see that some of the brown was mud, but a lot of it looked to be quite natural on the fur.

“Hello?” she called out softly. “Could I help you with anything, miss?”

"Speech" "You"

art by amphispiza

The water was taking its sweet time washing the dirt and mud from her fur. Though it was visibly washing away, this was taking forever. She didn't really enjoy the idea of submerging herself further, even if it wasn't as cold as usual the temperature was still not as nice as she'd ideally want for taking a dip in cool water like this. Her ivory pelt was stained a bit, something that might take a bit of grooming to entirely remove. Heavily she would sigh, air rushing from her lungs while exasperation washed over her face momentarily, only to be replaced by curiosity as she caught the sound of another wolf approaching. So much for a day to herself.


Familiar. Why was she so terribly, frighteningly familiar? The girl who approached, clad in a pelt of ivory and darkness and bearing a hesitant voice seemed like an old friend, and yet at first glance Caelum could only see a stranger. Tilting her head a few degrees to the right, then turning her body so she could face the younger wolf, it took only a few seconds to see what was familiar. Her expression visibly softened, ears relaxing a bit to the side while she answered in an equally soft and gentle voice, “I um… I was trying to get the mud… But it isn’t coming off…” Her words faded, thoughts evading her grasp and before she knew it Caelum had slipped forth from the water without even bothering to shake herself off, enraptured by this girl before her.


Her mucky legs forgotten, only this wolf had her attention. It didn't really start to hit her until she     got to where she could see more of the young wolf's pelt. This familiarity… The pelt… The scent was only very vaguely familiar, as if it was reminiscent of one she smelled a very long time ago. Her heart was beating faster, when did that start? Her body was moving as if on it’s own, perhaps because something inside of her already knew what was causing her reaction, even if her mind couldn’t quite grasp it just yet. Funny how that happened… A wolf always had instinct to tell them things when their brain didn’t catch things.


The girl was… Caelum stopped, sitting when it hit her HARD, like a charging buffalo. Her eyes widened significantly, mouth opening but no words could come out yet. How had she not seen it before, even after all this time she should have seen it immediately. Of course her body had reacted, telling her early on what she’d taken far, far too long to realize. Words danced through her mind, taking on the tone of her own mother’s speech, something she hadn’t remembered in years, a mother always knows. Cae had not felt like a mother in far, far too long. Here, of all places, here in a land she still hardly knew, she was coming face to face with family with a frequency that was making her head spin. It wasn’t just any family. She was standing before her daughter.


Words failed her. How one could possibly hope to express everything she thought right now was beyond Caelum, perhaps because these emotions themselves were beyond words. It was terrible and wonderful, so very powerful it left her sitting here, stricken by what was happening. Her old life seemed to be returning, piece by piece, nearly making her wonder if slowly everyone would return and it would all melt away as if it was a bad dream.


It had been so many seasons since she last saw her eldest child. Even after so many recent bouts of crying, Caelum could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, sliding down her cheeks and bringing her back to reality. It only took a couple steps and she was close enough to touch the ivory and brown girl if only she would reach her muzzle forward a bit. Again she sat, looking into those familiar eyes, so much like her father’s it almost make Caelum smile. Her tone needed only to rise to the level of a whisper, they were so close, “It’s been so, so long child. I’ve missed you, Avani.”

It seemed as if she wasn’t the only one who was hesitant and even a bit shy. The woman’s look was one of surprise, or so Avani surmised; then it changed into something the wolf couldn’t quite identify as she got her answer. A little grin tugged at the corner of Avani’s mouth in amusement as she beheld this stranger coated in mud, and she resisted a small little laugh. It seemed as if the woman hadn’t expected to be caught covered in mud by someone. “I see that,” Avani replied steadily, amusement flashing in her eyes.

She opened her mouth to speak again - to offer if the stranger wanted help, if she didn’t mind it, but then it closed wordlessly as a look of confusion flashed across her face as the wolf approached closer without a single word, seemingly investigating her. Her ears flickered back nervously; what was going on? This was - bizarre. That was an understatement. Avani was confused; this wolf was so familiar, and she was acting like this, and Avani didn’t understand anything.

So confused, so startled, that she was utterly surprised when the mud-covered female abruptly sat, flinching slightly as she was gaped at. She backed up a few paces, her ears fully flattening on her head at this female whom Avani did not understand one bit. It just made her even more uncertain; why was she acting like this? Why was Avani feeling so uncertain, her mind and heart seemingly at war - because this wolf was so eerily familiar, that her body kept telling her it was someone who it could not possibly be, because her mother was dead. True, she hadn’t been with all the bodies of her family, but it had been three years. Wouldn’t.. Wouldn’t if she was still alive, wouldn’t they have found each other before now? And yet, here she was standing in front of a woman who should not be here.

She whined quietly, so quiet that the woman wasn’t even aware that she made the sound. Why? Why was this happening? Her mind protested what her body, her heart, what her instincts have already told her. It wasn’t possible - it just… wasn’t. And yet, she was staring into well-known cerulean blue eyes. The longer she stared, the longer the truth cemented into her mind, leaving little room for doubt.

And… Avani didn’t know how to feel. She thought that she’d be overjoyed. She thought that she’d be ecstatic. She thought that when she gazed at the familiar lines of her mother’s face, she’d see home, and family.

All she saw was the face of a stranger, belonging to a wolf who was strong, well-built and well-off, who bore no scars, who wasn’t there when Avani saw her siblings literally ripped to shreds. Who wasn’t there days after, when Avani was hoping and begging that someone would come back alive.

The tears on her mother’s face made her ears flatten even further, and when the older woman stepped closer, close enough to touch, Avani flinched away, backing away from the black-and-white woman in front of her.

“It’s been too long,” she whispered raggedly, half-crouched a few feet away, her tail tucked, ears flattened, though the fur on her neck was standing straight up. She didn’t say anything else; she couldn’t say anything else. No, she was lost, stuck staring at the woman whom she should have been happy to see, but was only horrified and upset to see.

"Speech" "You"

art by amphispiza

She had to cringe at her own awkwardness here. She deeply regretted letting herself become so socially inept, not that there was anything she could do to alter this unfortunate reality at the moment. She'd let her thoughts return to the girl, who replied to her stammered words with amusement.

Cae grew a bit more cautious as she noticed the other woman becoming hesitant. She wanted to assure her that she wasn't trying to startle her, it was just that her mind was so intently focused on this girl that she couldn't get the words out. She didn't mean to come off so strange.

She couldn't believe this. She did, though. It was so unbelievable, how could she accept what was an increasingly obvious truth the more she looked at this girl. Guilt hit her with the force of a charging moose, sucking the air from her lungs, leaving Cae in a daze. Why? Had she done something that would make finding a lost loved one so troubling? In a way, yes. A self-hating part of the woman told her that she deserved the distrust and uncertainty she'd received from her child who still hadn't accepted what Caelum was also struggling with.

"I should have been there..." the thought stuck in her mind like claws raking into her flesh. Painful and far too real. There had been too many times she'd regretted parts of what she did that day... Normally it was the part where she hadn't been there when the attack began - now it was that she had taken off after the monster who had torn apart her youngest children, something that only led to her getting herself beat up while the horrible wolves she'd been after escaped, and apparently the other survivors were left in her dust. If she'd been there, if she'd stayed in the heart of their lands and remembered that Avani might have been off on one of her walks... She could have changed things. She could have still had one child, saved her from growing up without her parents. Why had she not stayed?

Her heart shattered when the child stepped back again. She couldn't blame her, they were strangers now. Reuniting with someone after so long... Well, Caelum already knew what that could feel like from her first experience. The second had been happier, and the meeting with Zephyr after their first encounter had been good, but still it remained a surreal feeling to know that those she'd thought died had in fact been alive all along. Avani probably was feeling lost, confused. Cae stopped advancing, trying to control her emotions, to let her daughter have some of the space she needed. It was so hard to not rush over and smoother her child, her baby, with all the love and affection in the world. Alive. Avani was alive.

Too long... A knowing sigh rushed from her lungs, laden with the weight of the world she seemed to feel pressing on her shoulders since... Since their lives were all torn apart. There were more tears, holding them back was impossible so she let them flow while she wondered what she could possibly say to that. Seeing this grown wolf, the mature version of a pup she'd raised years ago; it was too much. Cae had missed too much. Lowering her posture so she was laying with softer body language she murmured, "I know. Far too long."

What did she do now... Tell her daughter how much she regretted not being there for her? Tell her she was sorry? If normal parenting was hard, being a parent who wasn't there was a whole other level of difficulty. Now she was staring at a grown adult she didn't know, but oh how she wanted to. Difficult relationships seemed to be a theme in Caelum's life. Letting her chin rest on a gnarled tree root, the woman looked at her estranged daughter, seeing only the frightened child she'd consoled so many times in what seemed a whole other lifetime, "I've never stopped missing you, baby girl," she consoled, trying to soothe the upset girl. She glanced away, the tears coming faster. "You're pathetic, Cae. Get it together." Where to start... There was so much to say. A familiar feeling, much like how things were with Zephyr. Turning back to Avani she had a hard time picking her words, Cae was never good with them after all, "I know we've been apart a long time... But I'm here... We're here now. And I'm not going anywhere," she promised.