Can You Feel My Heart?
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel, can you feel my heart?
Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees
Can you save my bastard soul?
Will you ache for me?
The female had returned to the battlefield, the beginning of the end… Liar had failed to deliver them their new home. But now not only was he gone, but her two newest children ass well. Chasm. Apathy. Both of them had abandoned her with their father, something Marina couldn’t quite fathom. She was hurting, Gods above she was hurting, and she was pissed. She wanted to stop feeling for anyone… to stop getting hurt over and over.
She found herself foolish to believe Liar had been the one to see through her tortured soul. In the end his name reflected what he was… but still, Marina thought as hot tears stung her eyes, he had made her feel wanted. Made her feel needed. Giving birth to their children had made her so happy… but for what gain? She’d had what, three litters now, only to have her families fall apart? The female scraped out the bloodsoaked earth with her claws, her heart screaming out in pain.
The female found herself slowly being driven mad once more. With the loss of her parents, her brother not once, but twice, and all of her children… Marina sunk towards the earth, squeezing her eyes closed. “I hate him…” Marina whispered bitterly. “Why… why does this keep happening?” She could feel darkness stirring in her heart. All it would take is to snap one more time… embrace her demons and seek out chaos. But was that really the path she wanted?
No. She didn’t want to turn down her darker paths again. She wanted to be loved. Wanted to feel what she felt when Liar was around. But right now she was just so cold… she just wanted to crawl into some hole and never come out. Marina tilted her head towards the heavens and loosed a mournful howl.
Would anyone take pity on a broken wolfess such as herself?
I'm sorry brother
So sorry lover
Forgive me father
I love you mother
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim...
Regulus Anatolii Adravendi |
His path had taken him from the final round of his morning patrol – a solo patrol, in this case – and to the northeast. It was high time he started perusing the Battlefield for any lone wolves who might be seeking a home where they had wolves to befriend, and a purpose to strive for. His pack needed adult fighters, not to mention hunters.
His talk with Leo had been a refreshing one; it wasn’t often he got to catch up with his cousins on the eastern coast, and it had helped ease some more of that ache in his chest that remained after all the losses. Despite the chat with Leo, however, he still intended to take Baine with him to visit Fiori; the mileage would do his little sister good, and it was a chance for them to get some quality time.
His thoughts snapped away from these musings as a truly heart wrenching song of emotional agony was borne across the field on the wind, lifting his head and perking his ears. His head cocked, before he picked up his trot again, arcing his path to find the sad one.
His steps slowed as he caught sight of a rainbow backed female. The same that had been there to support Liar in his challenge for Celestial. His fathomless sapphires swept the surrounding lands, seeking out the exotic male, but he was nowhere to be seen; luckily for the male. It wasn’t a grudge Regulus held against the male, but a call from beyond his mother’s grave that would lead him to rip the exotic male in two if he met him again. Surreal had made him aware of that promise for a reason; just because she was dead, didn’t mean that made the promise null and void.
So why was this lady, noticeably less pregnant than the last time he’d seen her, here crying a lament to the skies? He gave a decisive flick of his heavy tail and strode forward, ensuring that his posture held no threat. It wasn’t her that he had any issue with. He circled around to stand before her, about ten feet away, those rich sapphire eyes taking in the retched expression on her face, the tears, and the anguish in her frame.
Finally, after looking her over, he spoke, tone neutral. “Why do you cry so, Lady?” The term ‘lady’ wasn’t voiced in the derogatory manner of some young generations, instead carrying the note of respect voiced in a title given to a woman of respect. He didn’t know her personally, and he wouldn’t treat her ill because of her past affiliations.
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Some part of Marina was screaming, screaming at her to lunge at this man, to make him feel the pain, the sorrow that she felt. But there was another part, a more rational part, that fought that desire. That fought to be understood… to be reassured and told everything would be alright. To feel that lie, that security drape across her conscious once more.
Marina was torn.
Madness and sanity danced within her all at once, and the woman closed her eyes, taking a shuddering breath as she fought herself first.
…but which side would win?
Finally Marina opened her eyes again, the narrowed pupils fixing upon the red male. “Abandoned…” The femme growled, tears still streaming from her eyes. “That bastard… he left me… took our sons…” She was shaking, though whether from just sadness, anger, or something more she wasn’t sure.
“…I’m sorry…” The female shifted her head to the side, averting her gaze from the male. “You don’t need to hear my sob story… you kept what was rightfully yours…” The female trembled again. ‘…and I lost everything. Again…’
Regulus Anatolii Adravendi |
He watched the rainbow marked female tremble as she stood. Had she eaten at all recently? As she fought her internal struggle, one he could see in those carmine and cherry eyes, he waited, patient as a glacier, then as she growled out her answer through still falling tears, he listened, letting her get the words out. So Liar had again lived up to his name. He supposed that there had been a promise to always be by her side, the way most lovers spoke to one another.
The word 'Abandoned' resonated with him a bit. He’d been young when his father had ignored his mother’s warnings and run off to the challenge to reclaim his sister from Arcanum, and been taken in return. He’d seen his mother’s stress, her anger, the misery, even though she’d done her best to hide it from himself and his sisters. He’d seen her anger with Falk when he had finally returned with waning sight. And then his grandmother’s time had come and he had been the foolish, curious pup and followed them.
The female apologized, and he shook his head. “No, Lady. I should apologize to you. I knew he couldn’t be trusted, once I recognized him, after. I knew you were pregnant. I should have offered you and your unborn children a place to stay, and would have if I'd thought then that he'd abandon his own mate, though I doubt you’d have accepted the offer then. Probably have even been insulted by it.” He offered a gentle smile.
“What is your name, Lady?” He queried, haunches settling to the ground that had seen many a fight, and as many deaths.
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