A shuddering breath left her as she came to a stop at the edge of the Celestial border. Her brother's scent was as strong as ever here and that made her happy. It was haunting to be here again. She looked out across the plains and for a moment she just had to settle down onto her haunches and let her overwhelming emotions settle down again. The last time she had been at this border was after she had ran back here after her run in with... She very quickly and forcefully pushed those thoughts back out of her head. She had spent the last few seasons cleaning those thoughts out of her head. She knew this meeting with her brother would dig them all back up again, but she didn't want to have them lingering and festering any more than they had to. She slowly breathed in and let it out in a slow sigh. Zuriel took in another breath and this time let it out in a howl to call for her larger littermate. She had no idea how he was going to take her news. Angry surely at the act itself, but everything else she had no idea. Her own self deprecation had conjured images of him scorning her for getting into the situation in the first place and for not coming to him when it happened so he could catch the bastard, but in her heart she knew it wouldn't be the case. Then there was the heavy weight on her heart from the news of their father's passing to deal with as well. She tried to steady herself while she waited for Regulus to appear. "Talk" "You" Think

Regulus Anatolii Adravendi

When he heard her voice, Regulus wasn’t expecting the sudden wave of resentment that struck him. From his end, knowing nothing about how his sister had come to have children, it appeared that Zuriel had found someone, and had kids, and she hadn’t even bothered to come and find him to tell him the happy news. He didn’t even know if she knew… but of course she would know. Faite would have told her, surely. But that resentment stunned him slightly, as did the reluctance he felt to rush to her call. He wasn’t going to deny it; knowing she’d had kids and having to find out by smelling her scent in Lirim’s borders had hurt. He finally pulled himself away from the bush that really had no reason for him to be sniffing it so interestedly, he turned and broke into a slow trot. He didn’t rush to greet her as he drew near, but he tried to paste a cheerful smile onto his jaws, and tried to keep his tail in the air, affecting a jaunty wag. “Zuriel. Been a while.” How’re the kids? He was dying to ask, but just now, he was worried that if he spoke the words now, they’d come out in a tone he didn’t want to use with her. He didn’t like how sullen he felt. So instead, he let his eyes rove her form, and his nose analyze her scent. Kids, definitely, but no male fresh on her coat. In heat, definitely, though. She looked well; sleek and well fed, and content, though she looked nervous as hell right at the moment. Had she realized that he may be hurting? Or was she afraid to tell him that she’d had kids and not told him, not knowing he knew. Enough with this sulking. Just get it in the open. His haunches dropped to the ground with a heavy thud as he blew out a sigh. “May I be blunt, Sis? I’m hurting. You’ve had kids, and you never told me. I had to find out by catching your scent in Lirim’s borders when I passed by. I didn’t even know you’d joined Lirim! I’m an uncle through both of my littermates, and I haven’t had a chance to meet any of my nieces or nephews.” He didn’t shout at her, not once, but his tone held a lot of the pain he felt. His head jerked to the side, eyes stinging, as he blew the emotions hard through his nose in a sharp sneeze of a huff, before looking back at her, eyes begging. “Why didn’t you tell me you were having children? Did I do something wrong?”

Zuriel fidgeted nervously while she grew more anxious as time passed. Part of her had expected him to arrive a little more quickly, but she tried to brush those thoughts away and tried to assure herself that he was just busy with pack duties or maybe she happened to catch him while he was on the other side of the territory. Finally after what felt like ages his large red form came into view and she left out a slow sigh from the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She pulled a small smile onto her lips in response to his own and she nodded to his comment, feeling slightly off put by the shortness of it. "It really has been." Before she could say anything else, before the floodgates of information could break open, her brother made her ears flick back against her head and guilt fall heavy onto her shoulders. Of course he would have smelled her scent around Lirim's borders and it only made sense that her children's scents would be mingled in her own. Two things she hadn't bothered to think of. She didn't need to tell him she had children, he could figure that out on his own. "No, no! You didn't," she hurried to insist as he looked away from her. "No, it was me, I-" Her throat began to tighten up and choked off her words. Her two-toned gaze fell to the ground, unable to look her brother in the face. "I-I was too ashamed to come back here. I took the pack for granted and thought I could take care of myself, b-but..." She tried to keep her tears at bay, but she knew she was fighting a losing battle. Her words tumbled out one after another, not giving Regulus any time to interject. "I found Faite right after... I found her and I thought I could just hide for a little bit longer and I could make myself useful and help her with her pack and just distract myself from everything and I didn't know... I didn't know how to tell y-you." Zuriel's eyes squeezed shut, still refusing to look at him while the tears that had gathered there spilled over into her fur. Her voice dropped to a rough whisper. "If I had planned on or wanted to be pregnant I would have told you in a heart beat... But I hadn't and I didn't. But now here I am." "Talk" "You" Think

Regulus Anatolii Adravendi

He could see the guilt in her eyes, and immediately wanted to take back his words, but they’d been the truth, and it was never a good idea to bottle up the hurt and let it fester. No, it was better that they clear the air and get it all out. Nevertheless, his heart twisted at her expression and the way her voice choked up. He listened, confusion clouding his features as she spoke. Ashamed? Of bringing life to the world? Gods above and below, what had happened to make her say this? He didn’t try to interject, reading her body language and knowing she wanted to get whatever she wanted to say out without interruption. After what? What had happened? Whatever it was, it was breaking her, and he stepped forward to finally close the distance and touch his nose to her forehead. She had no smell of a mate. Had she gotten carried away in her heat and ended up bearing the fruit of a one-time fling? Confusion lay heavy on his face and in his tone as he finally spoke, once her words had petered out. “What happened? Who’s the father?” From his voice, it was clear the penny hadn’t dropped, and rape hadn’t come to mind. It was such an outlandish thought that anyone would want to harm his sweet, gentle healer of a sister that the consideration just didn’t come.

Part of her had hoped that he would have put the pieces together on his own so she wouldn't have to admit the truth of it out loud. There was something about the word that was so hard for her to voice. It was something that had happened and she had mostly accepted, but in her mind it was just easier to tuck those memories back into the darkest corners of her mind. If she admitted what happened out loud it felt too real. From the tone of his voice it was very apparent that he wasn't picking up these hints and she was going to have to do exactly what she didn't want to do. Her eyes got pulled back up to his when she felt his nose on her forehead. She saw his confusion, but at least the hurt that had been there was gone. She took in a shuddering breath and let it out in an equally uneven sigh. "His... His name is Elias. Regulus, I know how you're going to react when I tell you this, but I need you to just listen to me for a minute, okay? Promise me." She made him meet her gaze for a moment and waited for him to agree to her promise before she went on. Her gaze drifted away from his as she spoke. She didn't want to see his expression as the truth of it all sank in. "Elias... forced himself on me... I was raped. Okay? There. I said it. I was raped." She sighed heavily and her gaze landed on her forepaws. "But, I've seen Elias again since then. He's... He's not evil. He's not inherently bad, as strange as it is to say. Unstable maybe, but not bad. He wasn't in control of himself that night." She paused for a moment while she tried to formulate a way to say what she wanted to say. "I forgave him. I want to help him. Maybe I'm foolish, maybe my healer mindset runs too deep. But if I can find a way to help him stabilize his mind..." She pulled her two-toned gaze back up to his, looking to see if her brother understood. She hoped he would, though she knew how protective he was. Truly all she was asking for was for Regulus to agree with her decision. The last thing she wanted was for Regulus to go on a head hunt for Elias. "I have three beautiful children now. My daughter, Daelos, looks so much like me and I think I'll make a healer out of her. Miach reminds me a lot of our father believe it or not. Kane is my little black sheep, but he takes after your protectiveness." She smiled as she talked about them, her expression softening. "Who would have thought that I'd end up a mom... Not only that but actually love being a mother." "Talk" "You" Think