He had been patient enough, but watching Frost carry the whole weight of the world on his shoulders was driving Torin mad. They had to do something, he could no longer allow things to carry on as they had; Frost had promised Torin that his position was only temporary until he was ready to step forwards, and he was more than ready. In fact in his mind he had to, Rory was AWOL and he was loath to let the pack his mother founded not remain within the family; not that Frostbite wasn't doing an amazing job, he was. In fact if Torin got his way the older man would remain in his position, but Torin hoped to lift some of the burden.
He hadn't failed to notice that with Star gone the man seemed driven by sheer willpower alone, and he couldn't help but feel that the older man deserved a chance to find himself again, outside of his duty to the pack. He needed a rest, he needed a chance to find that happiness again.
With a huff the young Adravendi settled onto his haunches and tipped his head back, letting out a call for the Kaliq.
Things had been changing like crazy anymore and it was hard for the male to keep his head wrapped around everything. In a short span of time they lost two members, gained two members, and four members left to join another pack. Rory had been missing for some time now so Frost was throwing himself into the alpha duties and keeping himself busy. He had little time to himself, but that paired with his new den he had found getting over Star's disappearance a lot easier. His hopes and dreams for a family of his own had been put on the far back corner of his mind as he focused on what really mattered right now. He did not intend to let what Faite had built die, no matter if he had to do it alone or not. He knew Torin would be anxious and he was certain the young male was more then ready, but Frost had been stuck on the hope that Rory would return and resume his duties. He was not keep on letting Torin take on all the work himself and he wasn't sure how the male would feel about working side by side. This pack was rightfully his family's and Frost did not want to get in the way of that.
He knew the talk would be coming, but he had hoped that it would go longer then today. He had fears that if he had free time again, time alone that the depression would resurface. The lingering thoughts that he would never have his own kids or a loving mate at his side would poison his mind. He did not want to slip back into that darkness, to have nights where he couldn't sleep. Though if he was honest with himself the help would give him more time to get a full nights rest and to keep his strength up. It would really be a good thing if he would only take the time to fully think things through.
He had just finished another patrol when the summoning howl from Torin rang out over the territory. It made his stomach drop because he knew all to well what he was being summoned for. He was unsure if the younger male even knew of his aunt and cousins departure yet. The deep chested male sighed heavily before altering his course to head to Torin's location. He couldn't and wouldn't rightfully hold the boy back if he felt he was ready. He thought of everything that would need to be said trying to make sure he formed the right words and make sure he wouldn't miss anything. It helped pass the time as he headed towards the younger male who was waiting on him. When the pale form appeared Frost's focus went to him and he smiled in greeting his tail wagging.
Torin did his best to remain composed, but in truth he was very very nervous. He knew Frostbite to be a reasonable but loyal man, and those two traits could end up clashing here and he only hoped he wouldn't be forced to more dramatic actions here. His stomach was tight and he felt like he might be sick; he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so uneasy, not even his challenge against Frost had made him feel this anxious.
He had little more time to think about though as he spotted Frostbite, the older man wagging his tail and smiled at him. Torin dipped his head in response. "Frostbite." He rumbled, watching the older man. "How have you been?" It was formality really, nothing more than small talk to try and ease them into the much heavier conversation they were going to have.
Torin greeted him in return and Frost took the quick moment to have a seat and take a rest break while he was talking with Torin. The younger male asked how he was doing and he nodded slightly before forming his reply.
"Doing well I feel. Keeping rather busy since Rory has been absent." he replied.
He didn't want to admit it, but it was too much on him a lot of the time and he felt like he was slacking on certain things. He should be spending more time interacting with pack members and seeking out loners who may be interested in joining. Although he had been doing lots of patrols and really limiting his travel. He didn't want to leave the pack without a leader. What he did regret was not going to look for Faite, Rory, or the two missing children of Jewell's. They needed to be found and he had not gotten out to hunt to them on his own.
Dark eyes looked back to the younger male, wondering what was on his mind.
"How about you?" he said keeping it at casual conversation.
Frostbite responded to his question and Torin nodded quietly; listening for a hint of the strain he was sure was plaguing the older man, though he respected Frost's strength. The man was holding face and Torin had to respect that too; if he had been in the man's place he couldn't say he wouldn't do the same.
Finally Frostbite turned the question on him and Torin sighed, moving his gaze to sweep over the horizon as he thought of how to put speech to the many many thoughts he had swirling in his mind. "I've been thinking a lot lately." He rumbled, holding his gaze out towards the packlands. "Most of it about Rory..." He trailed off, not sure how to articulate what he was hoping to get out of this.
Torin took a few deep breaths and when he spoke again there was an unusual vulnerability to it. "He's been gone... a while now." Torin sighed and finally swung his gaze back towards Frostbite; wanting to meet the man's eyes. "I've been thinking it might be time to try and fill his absence... at least for the pack."
He wanted nothing more than to know he was making the right step; he wanted his mother there to help guide him... that had been his desire the whole time; to work and learn under her until she felt ready to pass on her legacy to him. And now? Well there was little enough legacy to inherit from her to begin with... He wasn't her heir; he had only gotten this far by trying to eek out what little space he felt he could fit in. Now here he was again, following after his brother and trying desperately to fit in the hole he'd left behind. But he wasn't Rory... he never had been; and all he wanted now was to know that was okay, that he was still worthy. But the one wolf he wanted to hear that from... well she'd been gone even longer than his brother.
His ears pointed more forward towards Torin as he began. Stating he had been thinking a lot made Frost's stomach begin to knot, it was confirmation about what the conversation would be turning to. He couldn't help but to think about Rory, even though he had been absent the primary rank was his. Frost wasn't sure if Torin could handle everything on his own. Frost wouldn't admit it, but it was a struggle for himself to handle everything. Although if he changed things around, whats to say Rory wouldn't come back and be upset with him? Even if he did just simply step down? It was hard to know the right thing to do with a pack that wasn't truly his own. It belonged to Faite's family and he didn't want that to change. Then again holding Torin back was not right either. Frost had promised to help him so that one day he could be in one of the lead roles of the pack.
Torin stated most of his thoughts had been on his brother, which Frost couldn't blame him. He was sure Torin was worried about both Rory and Faite. They were family after all, and even though they weren't Frost's family he worried about them everyday. Frost agreed with a quiet nod of his head that Rory had been absent for a while now, to long for his comfort. Torin's gaze swung to his and their eyes met, Frost's softening as he continued. He also went on to say he had been thinking of filling his absence for the pack. Frost gave a vary light nod, still holding the younger male's gaze.
"To be quite honest this has been on my mind as well. I've held off thinking that Rory would just reappear one day and resume his position, but it has been far to long. Though I would like to still help you until you feel your fully ready. I have no problem simply stepping down when Rory comes back........ But if we go through with this and he does not return and you feel you are ready I will still gladly step down, this pack belongs to you and your family and I do not want to get in the way of that." he said being honest with Torin so that maybe it would help him feel like he was making the right decision.
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