She was positively exhausted now, body trembling as she moved, eyes struggling to remain open as she pushed onward despite her tired state. Her steps were awkward, front legs crossing over each other as she weaved slightly. Even her attempted naps hadn't helped and she was honestly just hoping she'd stumble into Rogdar or Amos or any of them soon. Perhaps the warmth of her children at her side might help her rest...

A while back she found traces of Amos' scent heading west, but now she'd lost it. At this point Mara was just waiting for a miracle or something equally inexplicable to save her. So far, as the woman wandered through the open fields without direction, she saw no help in the vastness of her surroundings. Eventually she just stopped, swaying slightly where she stood, staring out across the landscape without really seeing. Dealing with her newfound... issues, was a pain. More than that - it was starting to drain the life from her, this confusing, frustrating feeling of not knowing what was wrong with her was leaving her weak and helpless as it robbed her of the ability to sleep or get enough rest to even function.

So there she stood. Directionless, weak, and broken. She shook slightly, hide shivering though it was hardly chilly out.

Once more sleep didn't want to be easy tonight. For one he couldn't get comfortable and for two he was mentally wide awake. Being mentally wide awake made sleep impossible for him. It also made him fairly grumpy as well. For a while he had laid in his den, trying to overcome his overactive brain, but he ended with vary little progress. Growling the older male got to his feet and stumbled out of his den into the night. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he could continue to frustrate himself with trying to sleep. Driving himself forward he began to quickly move away from the den and quickly leaving his territory in the Weeping Woods. With no particular idea where to go he just wandered, leaving his thoughts to sort themselves out as he roamed the summer night.

He entered the plains smoothly and for a little bit he came across nothing. It was more towards the middle of the territory did something draw his attention from his thoughts. Another was out during this time and just standing to gaze across the territory. He stood looking in her direction, his remaining good eye taking in what he could from this distance. He stood for a while in his spot looking in the direction of the women not knowing how to proceed from here. He didn't really want to talk, nor be near anyone for that matter, but something drew him in. Maybe it was the good Vern trying to fight it's way to the surface, trying to overcome the darkness and bitterness that had been growing. His sloppy gait moved forward towards the women getting him closer and closer as he went.

More of her form became more clear and to his surprise she was just as scarred up as himself.. She was also smaller then her, but only by a few inches. Her body was odd shaped, but it didn't bother him at all.

"Are you lost little warrior?" his deep vocals were smooth and surprisingly lacked any bitterness.


"Talk." & 'Think'

She stood there, staring into space, trembling slightly like a leaf about to be caught up in an early autumn breeze. Alone in more ways than one. Amber gaze dull compared to her usual glittering stare that betrayed her fight-craving nature. Tail hung limp between her hocks as she contemplated continuing her journey, or simply flopping down into the grass and seeing if she could sleep properly. The idea made her want to laugh - as if sleep would be so kind as to come easily now that it had eluded her so long. What a childish thought, to hope for the highly unlikely.

Sinking ever deeper into self-deprecating thoughts she would increasingly use to punish herself, Mara only ceased when she heard the stranger making his way closers through the darkness. Turning to fix him with those burning eyes that flared to life with his arrival she appraised the decrepit beast that had appeared before her. He looked even worse for wear than her, and that was saying something. The markings layered with the speckled white flecks of age, the scarring comparable or maybe greater than her own, though the eye he'd lost probably left him a lot worse off than her.

Lifting her dark muzzle acerbic laughter flowed from her, ridding the space of its emptiness as the sound filled the area. "Oh, in more ways than one, I'm sure. And what of you? Is there some special circumstance that brings you out into the middle of nowhere?" Though her tone remained fiery as ever, the volume was softer than was normal and her posture didn't reflect much of how she spoke. She looked like she was on her last leg. Maybe she was. She only had one mission left in life, though perhaps if her child was moving with such purpose from the way his scent trail traced such careful paths through the lands, maybe she should leave him be.

Her eyes seemed to light up and her laugh somewhat surprised him, her words giving him the impression that there was much more going on within. Was she suffering in her own way to? His eye narrowed slightly looking to the women before him. She looked battle bred and he could only assume that it had meant there was dark secrets hidden within her.

"Sleep doesn't come easy anymore, so I wander until the peace and solitude of death take me" he replied his gaze darkening as he thought about how relieving death would be.

His attention turned back to the female as he shifted his form trying to lower his butt to the ground slowly, but it got to a certain point before he ended up flopping his rear end down in an attempt to get more comfortable. Then his gaze darkened as his thoughts drifted back into the shadows of his tortured mind.

"Do you ever wish for the comfort of death?" he asked.


"Talk." & 'Think'

Side eyeing the bag of bones as he spoke, she would take the time to appreciate how deeply miserable he looked. Not just because of his physical state - which was horrendously underfed and more frail than she figured age alone would leave a wolf - but the look in his eye. The way he stood, the little things, they all spoke of someone who, to put it lightly, wasn't doing well. His somber words only served to confirm her suspicions. It also struck a chord with her, awakening a previously nonexistent emotion, or perhaps simply highlighting one that was there just waiting to be noticed. "Grim talk," she mused, though her voice showed no displeasure. If Mara was to be honest with herself, she resonated with what he said. Being useless, haunted, and doing little more than waiting for her inevitable death were in essence the only things she'd been doing lately. To his posed question she would cant her head and consider it honestly, a soft yawn parting her jaws before she spoke, "Hm... Not specifically, though I think that is more because I'd not considered it rather than not wanting it. An end to suffering I can't explain... Tempting." A faint, dark smile traced it's way across her mouth as she met his eyes again. "Why, is that an offer?" she hummed, a surprisingly light tone for such a morbid discussion. "Cause I'll trade ya. Death for death, peace for peace, a fair trade I think." "Talk" "You" Think

This discussion had turned rather morbid, but he couldn't help but let the darkness of his mind shroud whatever good soul was left within this crippled vessel. It felt like all his life had been was loosing everything he had and never being able to stay happy. He was sure the gods had cursed him the day he was born. Several times he had thought about how relieving death would be. How it would get rid of the haunted dreams and the hurt and bitter emotions he felt. He would finally and eternally be at piece and would even be reunited with her. He longed to see her face again, to hear her voice that it made him break down more and more with each thought.

He was vary haunted and the way his body was beginning to fail him made him feel absolutely useless. He and Mara had those in common and he could recognize the torment in her eyes. Maybe the company of another tortured soul could help, like it had back when Cealum and him ran into each other again, though his mind was highly doubting it. His interest in her continued to be fed as her words seemed to reassure his thoughts. Then her dark smile made his golden eye light up with amusement. Yes she figured where he was going with this and he could see that the thoughts were lined up between the two of them. A wicked smile spread across his scarred muzzle at the remainder of her words.

"I didn't now I was in the presence of a mind reader," he was clearly amused by her.

"That is a deal that is worth it all, death for death. An ending to the torment, but it must be done right there is no way this will be one sided. I will not continue to wander this world while you gain all the benefits of death," his eye darkened at the thought.

Her not fallowing through meant he would be forced to remain here, broken as he was. Both of their current state wouldn't work for this agreement, especially her exhausted form. Even with adrenaline there would be no way she had the strength to carry through and he couldn't take the chance of continuing this world alone.

"We both must recharge and get strength before this can be carried out properly Do we have a deal," he asked as he straightened himself some more.


"Talk." & 'Think'

This interaction had turned into a darker parody of peaceful conversation, and she found it rather entertaining as she allowed the dark thoughts to take hold of her mind. Finding her children had been her initial thought when she decided it was time to end the sleepless nights and merciless memories that haunted her at night. Wouldn't that just put a burden on them though? Besides, she was quite sure that her suffering was her own fault. Leaving her offspring to live their lives unencumbered by her issues while she escaped them in the sweet release of death? Yeah, that was as good a solution as any. She had nothing better to do with herself, no purpose, just pain she'd caused herself. Over time she was realizing - rather begrudgingly - that her pain was the manifestation of a once foreign emotion; guilt. Guilt, as it turned out, was difficult to live with. So, why bother, if she didn't have to go on? Mara would bow theatrically, chuckling under her breath, "Mara the mind reader, that's me." Listening to him carefully, she would nod lightly. Of course she shared his sentiments, it wouldn't do for one of them to survive this suicide pact and be left without an end to their pain as promised. "I believe we do. Is there anywhere you'd like to go to rest? Or are you keen on sleeping out in the open?" Mara could, when not suffering from recurring nightmares, sleep just about anywhere. She was still aware that others didn't all share her talent for laziness in any circumstance. "Talk" "You" Think

The Easter Bunny hops on by!

On her way through, she drops an egg at the paws of Mara.

Relief wasn't that far away and somehow that gave him such mental relief. It was strange to think such a morbid deed would make him feel so much more at peace then just dying peacefully like a normal wolf would. The darkness that swirled within his mind was turning him into a man that no one would recognize. But the bitterness that welled up over the years and the jealousy of what Zephyr had and he didn't helped the darkness be born. A smirk played at his lips on her comment of the mind reader still amused by it.

She seemed to be on the same mind frame with this pact they had just made with one another, which is good. It was unlikely he would find another like herself and he was ready to be free from this world. She questioned where he would like to settle and he looked around for a brief moment. In the open wouldn't be bad unless it grew colder throughout the night, but he wasn't sure if she was up for traveling in her current state. It was always proper to let the lady decide either way and that's where a little of his old self would shine through.

"I have a den in the next territory over in weeping woods if your are up for traveling a little further, if not here will do just fine," he said with a slight nod of his head.

If anything they would have each other for warmth if it got to cold.


"Talk." & 'Think'

Mara contemplated his response a moment. She was willing to do a bit of walking, she supposed, if it meant a decent nights sleep. Unfortunately, as she went to walk towards him her steps were unbalanced and her head felt light and dizzy. My, the lack of rest was certainly sneaking up on her with no warning at all, wasn't it? Letting a soft breath hiss through her teeth she shook her head. "Here will have to do." she muttered before more or less collapsing onto the grass, legs tucking under herself as she hit the ground. That definitely did not make her any less dizzy. If anything it was a mistake. Oops. But who cares if those who are not long for this world do just a little suffering? She would curl herself tightly into a dark grey ball of fur, though the circle was hardly a neat one. Her low weight had points of her body sticking out where they shouldn't. Goodness, she looked like shit. Thank the stars she wouldn't have to forever. Her spark-colored eyes slid closed and Mara tried her best to relax, empty her mind, and fall easily into the awaiting embrace of sleep. It found her not long after, however, her rest was hardly peaceful. If a wolf could sweat she'd be doing just that. She would dream of being small again, leaving her home after the adults disappeared. Looking over her shoulder, she saw little faces gazing back at her. But, they weren't her siblings, they looked different... Her children. They depended on her, they followed her. Mara couldn't stop herself, only watched as the memory of herself would chase them away time and time again until they did not return. A soft whine escaped her, body twitching as her dream only got darker. She found them, sometime later. The less capable little ones all having perished because they could not care for themselves as well as her. They were so thin. So gaunt. They depended on her, and she let them down. She let them down and left, only worried about herself, oh, what an awful creature she proved to be time and time again. Mara woke only once one of the dream pups lifted his little head to stare at her pitifully, crying for help. With a gasp, the woman's limbs scrambled wildly, hauling herself to a somewhat upright position, breath coming in quick shallow gasps. Looking around to ensure there were no tiny faces looking up at her, Mara's breathing slowed and she looked to Inverno to see if she'd managed to wake him. "Talk" "You" Think

He watched her try to move forward and she was vary unsteady. He had been there a few times and knew it was best to just stay here, they had each other for company and to make sure they were not in danger. The South had been safe so far so they shouldn't have to worry about other predators. He was going to say something, but she had beaten him to it and stated that it would have to be here. The women then collapsed before curling herself into a ball and quickly closing her eyes for sleep. He came closer, leaving a few feet of space between them before flopping down himself and closing his eyes.

His sleep wasn't as deep, but he had been far more rested then she looked to be. He remained alert for the sake of old habits making sure nothing could sneak up on them overnight. His lighter sleep would also mean he would wake a lot easier. In fact her soft whine had been enough to make him snap to reality, head lifting as he gazed over at her with his gold eye. Twitching body and her eyes still closed she must be having a vary bad dream. She then scrambled and snapped awake making his gaze soften. He knew that pain of the nightmares all to well and he hated to see another going through it as well.

She then looked over to him and for a minute or so he sat in silence gazing at her face. He felt the torment she was going through was worse then his own and grew curious as to what torment exactly. If they couldn't sleep maybe talking about things would help. Maybe getting some things off each other's chests would help sooth them for the night to sleep better. Though he knew vary well he may get a snappy reply, but hopefully she was to tired too.

"What are your nightmares about," he quietly asked.


"Talk." & 'Think'

It took a bit to catch her breath, to get her heart rate to slow so the organ wouldn't do something crazy like leap from her chest. The man spoke, he asked about her nightmares. How did she explain them? She didn't owe him an explanation, not really, but... What'd she have to loose by sharing? Nothing. Fine, why not. Another steadying breath as her gaze went skyward and the woman settled back on the ground with a soft sigh. The stars twinkled above them, so distant from their suffering. "Lots of things. Mostly things I've done. Terrible stuff I didn't regret until one day I did." Her gaze lowered, fell to the earth like a falling star as her expression hardened in the darkness. "I was never good, and I never cared for the longest time. It was far too easy to not care, but my mind finally caught up with me and now-" She broke off, an alien yet crushing feeling of shame came down, flattening her beneath it's weight. What a pitiful creature she had become. There was a lengthy stretch of silence after that, a silence where the woman struggled to find the words and the will to speak them. She was guilty of many crimes and to admit it aloud seemed like it would seal her fate, make her horribleness real. Mara pressed on in a hushed whisper, "I stole and fought and left others broken and battered in my wake. And now at night they haunt me, those I fought and siblings I abandoned, they take the form of my own children and eat away at my unconscious mind as vengeance." "I think I deserve it." "Talk" "You" Think

His good eye remained focused on her, a look of pure curious gaze. What was it that made her life so miserable and made these nightmares exists. Had she done bad deeds in her lifetime? Had she done things she regretted? Maybe, just maybe they could make each other's lives peaceful for a few days so they could rest up until they felt ready to go through with their task. He shifted in his spot, his body tired of how he was currently positioned. She looked away towards the sky before looking back to the ground and speaking. He listened taking her words in as she explained her nightmares. So she had done some bad deeds in her life that were coming back to haunt her. She hadn't seemed like that bad of a person while he was interacting with her, and surely he didn't feel she deserved to suffer like this. The silence that broke seemed to cut like a knife, making him suddenly feel uncomfortable. He had never been all that good with this emotional stuff, but why should he back out now. He needed her as much as she needed him and if he was looking for relief she was his ticket.

She continued telling of the bad things she had done which to him really didn't seem that horrible. His family had also fallen apart and he had tried to do everything right. He ended up with nothing just like she did.

"You don't deserve it," he said.

He let silence fall between them again trying to think of the right type of response that would continue to upset her. Her past bad deeds didn't matter to him and his past good deeds didn't matter to her. It wasn't about the past because nothing could be changed there, it was how things ended up in the end.

"Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success," he said quietly as he looked up to the stars. "Just think about it, without what you have endured in your life and the knowledge you gain you do not have anything to pass on. Though you may not realize it, it always teaches your children something, even if it's the harsh lesson of I don't wanna be anything like my parents,"

This realization had been sudden, but he had always thought about how he would teach his kids. She had kids to warn about how she lived her life, warn how to do better deeds then she had done in her lifetime.

"Your past gives you knowledge no matter what things you have done, but at our age past doesn't matter much. What matters is how you end up and how you carry yourself until the vary end," he said before looking back over to her curious as to what she thought.


"Talk." & 'Think'

Her brows would bot shoot skyward at his reply. It certainly wasn't the one she expected to hear, but then again this man seemed to be cut from a different cloth than the rest of them. He was interesting, she could give him that much. Mara couldn't really believe his assertion, though, much as she might want to in order to feel less like she was constantly at the edge of death. No, she was getting exactly what she deserved, likely not even as much suffering as she ought to have reaped. It was comforting to think she didn't, but that was probably why her mind instinctively distanced itself from the possibility that he could be right. He hadn't been there to see the extent of the damage she caused time and time again without a thought.

The rest of it was more palatable, easier to embrace without a fight. Much as it might hurt, she probably had taught at least one of the kids not to be like their mother. Rogdar was a bit too much like his father to stay entirely out of trouble, but he didn't seem as inclined to take up her propensity for fighting as Amos. Meanwhile, Amos was more openly attention-seeking, always looking to do whatever made someone happy so they'd like him. Torryn… well that one had gotten most if not all of her laziness so it was hard to decide where he'd settled.

When he finished speaking Mara would offer a shrug, flopping hard back onto her side. A small yawn parted her jaws before she huffed, "I agree with you to some degree. I do find it comforting to think that at the very least my kids might push themselves to be better than me. Their sire was… well, annoying as hell in my opinion but probably still a better wolf than me much as I loathe to swallow my pride and offer him a compliment." Those bright amber-orange eyes of her would flutter closed for a long moment. Shifting to get more comfortable, tossing and turning a few times until she was sprawled in an awkward looking, but comfortable position, she'd add, "I was horrible though. I followed my brother - an admittedly evil and violent man - to all sorts of places, fighting and maiming anyone who got in our way. Cerb did some pretty stomach-churning stuff, things I was more than happy to witness and allow to happen because it "wasn't my problem". Whatever that means. Worst part is probably that I wouldn't care if I hadn't had pups. I even resented caring. Still sort of do. It's much easier to keep trying to justify your darkness than to fight it."

Shifting to look back at him again with one half opened eye, Mara would suddenly grow curious and ask, "What about you, what's the story of the man so tired of living? Has to be good for you to be this screwed up, right?" Tactful is not a word in Mara's vocabulary. Her words were straightforward, but geniunely curious and there was no intent to hurt.

The shrug made him curious of her thoughts. His ears perked as she began speaking. Telling her of how she fallowed her brother and the things he had done and she had done. To him it still didn't make much of a difference. The past was the past even if he didn't practice what he preached. He himself still wallowed in his past. He didn't feel he really did anything bad, heck his story would bore her he was sure of it. He looked away as she finished up thinking for a moment or two. He really couldn't argue with her facts so he would let it settle instead of even trying to change her mind. She did realize that things she had done were messed up, which was good.

Then she asked about his story and his eye looked to her. He would bore her, but what did it matter? She may not stick around to begin with even with the pact they had made. He looked back ahead of him his gaze hardening.

"Mine's on the opposite side of the spectrum from yours. I had everything at a young age. A pack, a duty to keep me busy, and a female that I was madly in love with, though my lack of skills to speak my feelings left me unable to communicate the truth with her. Our pack was ambushed late one night a lot of our members slaughtered. I was heavily attacked, knocked out cold and unable to get to her in time and she had been one of them to be slaughtered. I lost all my happiness seeing her broken and torn form. I just seemed to be broken ever since. I did try and join another pack, but it took was harshly taken over and the leader killed. One of the members who overtook the last pack blinded me in battle," he said.


"Talk." & 'Think'

He didn't press her anymore on the issue of the wrongness of what she'd done and whether she deserved the guilt that plagued her these days, and for that Mara was grateful. If the man had kept trying she might have fought him on the issue. It wasn't just because of some sulky sense of self-hatred she'd developed, though she had that in spades, but rather because this conscience she seemed to have developed wouldn't allow her to make any less of the seriousness of how she'd lived her life.

Hearing the tale of Inverno's tragic life brought out a sense of morbid curiosity in Mara. Her birth pack had engaged in plenty of violent raids. Briefly she wondered if it had been them that slaughtered this man's pack but... No, the pack Mara came from enjoyed bloodshed and battle, but not unfairly ambushing others in the dark of night. There was no sport in that, no honor. Sighing out the wave of relief she felt, the dark woman canted her head. "It sounds like life has it out for you," she mused. There was a small pang of sympathy in her chest, but expressing that wasn't something she was well suited to do. Stretching out a forelimb she gazed absently at her claws as she flexed out her toes.

"I'm curious... If you don't mind my prying?" she paused to allow for an answer, but really Mara was keen on asking either way so she went for it, "What was she like? This woman you loved?" She might walk it back if he seemed upset, but Mara wanted to know. She loved her kids, but Mara had never been terribly thrilled with their father. He'd been an outlet, and she'd accidentally gotten tangled up with him because of it, but Mara had never really cared about anyone in a romantic way. What made someone love someone else like that?