for Ara, but maybe lolaf join in?

Five years had really passed since the old she wolf had stepped paw on these hallowed grounds. Ber bright blue eyes wouldn't miss any details as she walked through what had once been home. She had been born here, had her children and fallen in love here. But she had turned her back on all of it for... what? To be with her mommy? Song had passed only two years ago but stil Novel had lingered in Ahlon. Why? The guilt had eaten at her day after day, even before her mother slipped into the void. Still she hadn't brought herself back to the only wolf she had ever loved. She had been courted while away, but none of them could capture her heart like Ara did. Her other half, left to wonder what might have happened to Novel all those years ago. She tried to shake her head of the thoughts, but her feet knew the way home. She knew if she could find Ara she had to appologize, but how could she even face her now? She had abandoned her mate, Ara had no reason to forgive her. Novel debated about turning around, but her bones were old and this was the last long journey she would take. If she didn't see Ara again she would take the guilt to her grave. She wasn't sure what would be the better outcome. Her silvery paws navigated the mangrove roots like she had never left, but the changes in the land paled in comparison to the she wolf. Her fur was streaked with silvery hairs, especially around her eyes and nose. They stood out from the creamy white of her younger days. Her eyes were just as bright, but much more tired than they had once been. She didn't carry herself with as much timidity, but her gate was slower and her tail didn't sit as high. Her back was beginning to slope, and her black fur was now salt and pepper. Elohim was almost worse for wear, his once brilliant golden hair was also streaked with white, age had begun to show on the tamarin, but not to th eextent of Novel. She still carried her medicine bag at her side, filled with herbs and medicines from her family's homeland. Novel let out a heavy sigh as she found a clearing in the forest by the water. The sun had begun its decent into th ehorizon and would conclude her first day back to the land she had been born into. The relief she had expected was not there, and she just felt sore and tired from her long journey. The guilt of leaving Ara still gnawed at her eyes now, she ground her teeth in frustration. She needed to appologize, even if they would no longer have the relationship they had once shared. Speech,

Ara wasn't quite sure what drew her back to these familiar lands. Now that she had settled down within Lirim, she found herself traveling outside its borders much less frequently than before. She was growing older, she knew that quite well, and her body simply wasn't what it used to be. Traveling great distances took a significant effort, and she knew that such a journey would require some recovery time afterward. Her wanderlust, though ever-present, had definitely calmed in these last few seasons, and she was content to spend most of her time in the West, in the fertile valley and field of willow trees that was slowly turning into her home. Something drew her back to lands more familiar, though - she knew the journey would take a few days, and knew she might need to make herself a temporarily den in Fiori's old packlands to rest before returning to Lirim - but it was a trip she felt was somehow necessary. Carrying that old tattered satchel of hers against her side (she wasn't necessarily planning on collecting herbs unless she happened upon some, but it would be unpleasant to be so far from home and realized she regretted not bringing it), she started the long journey across the continent back to the eastern edge of Boreas. She had been tempted to invite Athena, but returning to her old home seemed like something she ought to do alone. She'd given her warning she might be away for a few days, but she wanted to take advantage of her body being less stiff than usual and make the journey before she was unable to. The pleasant summer weather was having a wonderful effect on her body in general, and the trip toward Sunset Falls was less arduous than she'd expect. It still took quite some time, two full days, with Ara resting at the beginning of the first, but by the time the sun had begun to set she had made it. Perhaps she could even find her old den-site to reclaim for the evening, if no other creatures had gotten to it before her. If she could even remember where it had been. It's been so long, she reminded herself as she wove between the familiar trunks of the mangrove trees, trying to remember as much as she could. Her memory had always been good, but she'd been away longer than she thought. How long had she spent wandering, with Athena as well as on her own? Her brows furrowed in slight frustration, a rare emotion for the normally quite composed she-wolf, as she continued on. A break up ahead in the forest, which led her to Sunset Falls, seemingly helped her to remember, and that brief frustration melted away. Perhaps sitting on the edge of the falls would bring her some clarity, and a welcome break from the day's long journey. What she didn't expect - what she never would've expected, not in all her years - was for a familiar scent to suddenly hit her nose. Ara paused, visibly distraught at what she could only imagine was a false memory trying to come back to her. No, Novel couldn't be here. She remembered how her scent had lingered long after she'd left, their shared den a place that had once been comforting to something she almost feared. Her scent had slowly faded over time, though it still caught her off guard as she returned to her den - her mind, ever-hopeful for Novel's return, constantly tried to see signs of her where there were none, and Ara couldn't help but think initially that was what it was doing now. She's gone, Ara had to tell herself firmly, briefly closing her eyes. Was she going mad? Perhaps her mental functions were beginning to deteriorate? No, she knew enough about the aging process to know that something like this wouldn't happen overnight; she'd seen no signs that her mind was going faster than her body, though she also knew the aging process didn't always lend itself to being readily apparent to the afflicted. She stood there for a long while, eyes closed as her nose twitched and tested the scent on the air. No, it was Novel. She'd know that scent anywhere, no matter how old she had gotten, and no matter how frail her body had become. The scent was the closest thing to home she'd ever had, something so plainly familiar to her that she was sure it was embedded deep in her bones. If she was losing her mind, at least she was imagining things as pleasant as this - though almost as soon as she thought this, she wondered if it was as painful as it was pleasant. It had been so long... where had she gone all these years? Why had she not returned? As much as it pained Ara to think, she could only imagine that something awful had happened to her, or to her family, but at the same time wasn't she at fault for not searching for her? Not that she'd had any idea where to even begin, or where Ahlon even was... Hesitant, she made to follow the scent. As it grew stronger, so did the tension in her chest. Despite the evidence, it was hard to believe that she wasn't simply imagining things, but as she caught the familiar scent of Elohim she was certain she couldn't be mistaken. Only when she neared the edge of the falls, spotting the familiar silhouette of a white-furred woman with a dark streak across her back and tail, with a single dark ear, was she certain she wasn't seeing things. Ara squinted against the fading light; the shadows that streaked down across the world only made Novel seem even more changed than she remembered, though she supposed five years would do that to anyone. Her words were caught in her throat, struggling to leave, though she continued her quiet approach. "Novel?" She finally asked after she was but a few yards away, already feeling a burn in her eyes and a knot in her stomach. Ara wasn't the type to cry, or to get overly emotional about anything, but Novel was - and had always been - that exception.

A heavy sigh filtered through Novel’s lips as her old eyes observed the slowly wandering waters at her feet. The magic of the glittering water not lost on the she wolf as she let nostalgia rush over her. She felt closer to Ara in that moment than she had in years, so much so the scent of her once mate washed over her. Novel knew it had to be in her mind, and she accepted the trick of the mind. At least until Elohim jumped and a moment after the sound of her name on the air. She almost attributed the too sweet sound to illusion, but as her ears fell to her head and she turned slowly she knew it to be all too real.

In her younger days she might have turned to rush towards Ara, her one and only, but now with the guilt having eaten at her for years she found she couldn’t even move. Bright blue eyes rested on the one she had abandoned and her form froze. Tears welled up within that same gaze as Elohim slipped from her back and drew more near to Novel’s other half. She had been so incomplete, and now..

Ara looked just as beautiful as she remembered, but older and more dignified now. Not that the years hadn’t taken their toll upon her as well. Tears began to spill over Novel’s cheeks and her breath became more difficult. Still hardly able to believe her own eyes she was finally able to lift herself from the bank and take a tentative step forward.

”Ara..” She started, losing her voice as she tried to find words to explain herself. Of course she couldn’t begin to, so instead she would offer the apology Ara deserved. Novel knew she didn’t deserve forgiveness though. ”I’m so sorry.” Her voice was a whisper as she reigned in the urge to run to Ara’s side. She wanted so much to bury her face into her soft fur like she used to, to find comfort from the regret that held her in its grasp.

Forgiveness wasn't something Ara had needed to grapple with much thus far in her life. There was only one wolf, one who's name she didn't even like to remember, that she had held a grudge against. Even despite the years she'd spent waiting for Novel, and all the hurt her disappearance had caused, she still couldn't bring herself to feel angry or wronged over it. No, there wasn't a single ounce of her that thought badly of her former mate. She had decided that she could empathize her choice to stay in her family's homelands - not enjoying the alternative, which was imagining that something awful had happened to her - and she couldn't fault her for it. If she'd been forced to choose between her own parents, if they had still been here, or Novel... well, she wasn't sure that would be the easiest choice. She had no doubt Novel's decision hadn't been an easy one, and it was immediately obvious that the weight of her decision had caused her pain, just as it had Ara. The irony of Novel's return when she'd finally almost come to terms with her loss wasn't lost on her. Was she over her? No, she'd thought of her each and every day since she'd left, despite the years. But she'd finally found some form of closure, finding a companion that she'd chosen to settle down with that - somehow - helped relieve some of the loneliness that had gripped her for so long. While she and Athena hadn't really discussed their feelings Ara had grown fond of her, in her own quiet way, and suddenly everything she thought she had known felt disrupted. She was frozen for a long moment, watching as Elohim slipped from Novel's back and moved toward her. She had always been quite fond of her former mate's companion, and she spent a moment observing him. Time had clearly taken its toll on the small creature as well, though the sight of him elicited a faint smile from her, despite the tears that had already began to spill. She made no effort to fight them, knowing that trying to stop them would only make them hurt worse. Her gaze was steady as she lifted it to Novel, watching Novel as she began to speak. She was sorry, she said, though her voice was soft and as sweet as she ever remembered. Only briefly would she close her eyes, tentatively taking another step forward as she struggled to maintain her composure. Any chance of not forgiving Novel (not that such a thing had ever been a real possibility) seemed to slip away from her all at once as Novel's smell washed over her, more clearly now.  "It's.. okay," she said finally, wanting the pained look on Novel's face to disappear. She had spent so much of their live together caring for her, and trying to protect her - she couldn't hold on to their past and continue to exacerbate that pain, no matter how much she herself was hurting. Slowly, almost cautiously, she moved to close the distance between them. Once her nose finally met Novel's shoulder, she very nearly melted, inhaling her scent as if she needed it to survive. It didn't take very long at all for her to move her snout, dragging it toward the fur of her neck, finally moving to press against her in a slight embrace.  "I honestly never thought I'd see you again," Ara breathed quietly, not trying to make her feel bad, but simply being honest, though she didn't pull away from her quite yet.

For a long moment Novel wondered if Ara would even speak with her, she watched as she closed her eyes and heaved a sigh before those two simple words fell from her lips. Two words Novel never expected to hear or thought she deserved to hear, but there they were. "It's okay, Novel couldn't help but shake her head, no it would never be 'okay' she had abandoned her mate and her child. Ara might forgive her but Novel knew she was going to carry the guilt with her until the day she died. She wouldn't linger on those thoughts though. The time lost was gone and she could do nothing about that, but they were here now in this moment and as Ara drew more near Novel felt her own heart soar. The feeling had only been echoed in recent memory with the birth of Psalm's children. Their grand children.

Novel felt herself relax into Ara's touch, though she still was sure the woman might disaqppear at any moment. She didn't deserve the affectionate touch but she took it greedily and returned her own. She pushed her nose into Ara's sweet fur and let herself get lost in her familiar scent. Like two pieces of a puzzle she felt herself fit into the woman's touch like she had never left. "I can never make up the time we've lost." She whispered, resigned to her fate. "But I'm so glad I've found you again." Her voice was almost a whine. "Psalm sends his love, along with our new grandchildren." She couldn't think of what else to say, she could repeat her apology ten million times and it would still not be enough.

Any pain she might be feeling was suddenly overshadowed by the relief that Novel's presence brought her. For so long she'd felt regret at having let Novel go without insisting she go too; she should've known that things would be fine here, without her, that their sons were grown and could protect themselves. Perhaps she might never let go of that regret, but now she told herself she'd never let her go again, not without a fight. The tears that stung her eyes were sharp, but at Novel's familiar touch she felt everything drain away. She was tired, so very tired, and she could only imagine how Novel was feeling. How long had she been traveling? She probably needed food and rest, and Ara's anxious mind was already trying to recall if she had any herbs currently that might help Novel sleep tonight. She didn't want to talk about the past. Not about how either of them were sorry, because she had no doubt the both of them could spend the rest of their lives needlessly apologizing. Ara spent what felt like eternity pressed against her, briefly pulling away to better angle herself and press a gentle lick to Novel's cheek. Her words caught her off-guard, and she felt new tears stinging her eyes - only they were happy tears this time.  "N-new grandchildren?" Ara was rarely one to stumble over her words, but Novel had all sorts of effects on her and she was suddenly fumbling over herself to regain any sense of composure. Psalm was well, and had had children? Oh, she couldn't remember the last time her heart had felt so full.  "I've seen Hymn recently and he's had children of his own too. I've yet to meet them, but I'm sure we will..." Slowly she was calming, her heart rate slowing to a manageable pace, though she felt a deep exhaustion setting in from the sudden release of emotions. Lightly she leaned to press her snout to Novel's cheek, relishing deeply in her touch as if she needed it more than air itself.  "I've spent awhile trying to find a place to settle down, but I've found a good pack. Perhaps once we rest awhile, you'll join me there?" Ara didn't want to act like Novel coming with her a given, despite hoping with every fiber of her being that she would join her - no, she would be grateful for every moment she got to spend with her, but her mind was made up about spending the rest of her days among the comfort of those willow trees.  "The pack is called Lirim, and one of their territories is a willow forest. It's a long way, so we'll need to rest for awhile before we go. Oh Novel, you would love it there..." Ara sighed, pressing another kiss to Novel's cheek.

Novel felt the tears sting at her eyes as well, the salty liquid filling up and spilling over her eyes. She sniffled quietly, but let herself get lost in Ara's scent and the feel of her soft fur on her face. She felt the tug of guilt begin to lessen, especially with forgiveness so easily given. She knew she would regret her decisions until she died, but knowing she had her mate back.. she couldn't help but feel complete again. Novel returned Ara's sweet kiss as the other woman became surprised about their newest grandchildren. Novel would share in the pleasant surprise, Hymn as well had introduced new children to the world. Her heart swelled with pride instead of the guilt that had lingered.

She listened quietly as Ara explained the events that had taken place since she had left, not too far into the past but she had rejoined a pack. Her mismatched ears perked up at the thought of returning to said pack, and Novel felt like she wouldn't be able to refuse if she wanted to. She never wanted to leave Ara's side again. "How could I even begin to refuse?" She asked as she leaned in to her mate's affections. "I will never leave you again." She kissed Ara's chin and nuzzled into her touch. "A perfect place to spend our days." She couldn't make herself utter last days though it went with out saying. They were growing old, their timeon earth was dwindling and Novel had no intention of separating from her mate ever again. "I don't think I could refuse the rest either." All of the days emotions, travel, and general exhaustion were definitely taking their toll on her aged body.

Ara was tired. The exhaustion was felt deep within her soul, far more deep-seated than mere physical fatigue. There were so many emotions that had suddenly washed over her, she couldn't even begin to name them - sadness, painful nostalgia, and most of all relief. There was some guilt there, too - she'd just recently told herself she had moved on from Novel, at least enough to sleep at night, and she had also agreed to a living situation with another woman. For now, she would push Athena from her mind, truly too tired to think of such things. She let another soft sigh fall from her lips, the tears still falling much more freely than she wished. She heaved a shuddering sigh as she slowly, painstakingly, pulled away from Novel. At Novel's promise to never leave her again, she felt another surge of relief wash over her. "I hope not," she breathed quietly, hoping Novel was being honest. Though she knew her intentions were to stay, she knew life didn't always work in everyone's favor - but for now, she was intent on living in the present, not worry about the future. "It's truly beautiful," she breathed softly. She didn't have to hope that Novel would agree, she was certain she would find it the perfect place for them both, especially as they were nearing the end of their lives. "For now, let us rest, then." Perhaps they found find one of their old dens to rest in, until they were ready to head to Lirim together. Gently nosing Novel's cheek, she turned as if to head off, encouraging Novel to follow. -exit Ara-

Novel felt hope in her breast for the first time in a long time. Her other errant emotions still lingered, but they slowly ebbed to make way for relief. Ara was here, safe in her arms and not going anywhere. She had new, or somewhat new, grandchildren to celebrate. Sorrow should have been extinguished, but she knew she would never forget the pain she felt and the pain she had caused her mate. 

She would try and push the thoughts away for now, there was also new beginnings in a new pack to think about. She hoped they might accept an ancient healer who was worn out. Novel felt the tiredness too, the gentle call of the void growing louder. For now though, physical rest was what she needed. They would rest for tonight and a brand new beginning would begin anew tomorrow. "Lets," she agreed before offering a sweet kiss. With much protesting from her wore out bones Novel would follow Ara where ever she was led. 

-exit novel-