Zephyr stood at the edge of Abaven's borders, swaying precariously on unsteady limbs. He wasn't sure how long it had passed since he'd found his mate's body, but the days had blended into weeks until everything felt like a hazy, hellish mess. He'd felt like he'd been floating through space, walking a plane strangely between the physical world and another transcendent one - not that he believed in that sort of thing. There was only life, and death, and he was hanging directly in the middle. Maybe not physically, despite having seen farbetter days, but certainly mentally. The pain was crippling, assaulting all his senses and rendering him hardly able to think, let alone act. Over the time that had passed he'd barely been able to find it in him to eat, and he'd grown uncharacteristically thin and lanky, his ribs now protruding quite obviously from beneath his coat. It was quite the sight for the oversized man, transforming him into something hardly recognizable except to those who knew him well. It'd taken him a long time to decide to return home, but lamenting over Caelestis not getting any closure haunted him worse than anything else ever had. He wasn't even totally sure what he'd say to her, or if she'd even forgive him for his sudden departure... but he had to say goodbye. His heart ached heavily in his hollowed chest as she slowly lifted his head to the sky, letting loose a quiet call for her. It was the dead of night, and he hoped to not draw too much attention to himself - this was a private moment and he had no interest in seeing anyone else, only his daughter. He heaved an anxious sigh as he reclined to his haunches, watching as a soft puff of white air exhaled from his nostrils and disappeared into the darkness.

Sleep didn't come easy these days. It was a pretty wretched existence she was leading in the time between her last adventures and now. The second she slowed down and stopped acting like the undisciplined monster she was becoming to avoid the emotional turmoil that lay beneath the surface, she simply cracked. Retreating to one of several dens she used at the edge of the territory, Cael would curl up int he darkness, alone, trying and failing to get any rest as tears rolled down her scarred face and she wondered if she'd ever feel normal again. This sudden vulnerability was her most closely held secret. Going to Shaye exhausted and out of ideas had been bad enough. This she would never share with anyone if she could help it.

Her breathing had only just smoothed out and rest was finally making her eyes heavy when she heard a soft but familiar call and her heart was instantly in her throat. Head shooting up, eyes wide, the woman wondered if it could possibly be real or if she was imagining what she was hearing. Missing this was not something she could risk either way, so she scrambled out the narrow entrance and set off racing towards the call without a backward glance.

When she came skidding to a halt before the raggid, skeletal wolf, for a moment all she could think was that she must have gone to the wrong spot, or maybe... maybe this wolf had a similar voice, or maybe he was only a figment of her imagination and this was a dream?

No, that was him. From the moment she laid eyes on him she knew but did not wish to admit it because her heart shattered into such fine fragments it may never recover. For once the boisterous girl didn't get chatty, but rather leapt forward to close the distance and sought to bury her face in her father's fur as a sob loosed itself from her throat without her permission, lost in the embrace she held him in. How had this happened? Why hadn't she managed to find him before he came to look like this? Cael had failed him, she knew it, there was no possible reason why he should look like this and have been alone for so long who knew where.

"Dad.." she sobbed, eyes glassy with the many more tears that were waiting to spill over and she pulled back and beheld him once more, furrowing her scarred brow and wondering what she could possibly say or do aside from drag him immediately to the nearest healers den by the scruff. Someone had to know what to do, right??

Zephyr didn't fear death. It'd been a long while since he'd found himself worried about dying, but now that Caelum was gone and all his children were well past them point of needing him to care for them, he no longer feared it. If it wasn't for his youngest child though he would've likely left this world by now, but he kept constantly hesitating. It was because of that that he'd decided to see her once last time, to hopefully give her some closure as well as himself. He didn't have to wait long before his daughter came rushing toward him, much older than he remembered despite the fact that he hadn't been gone terribly long. It wasn't hard to miss the pained look on her face, but it didn't surprise nor alarm him, not really. Even in his fragile state of mind he was aware of how he must look and how it might break Caelestis's heart. Was it better than disappearing without a trace? He really hoped so, but his choice had been made and he couldn't undo it now. He breathed a shuddering breath, his own eyes closing to keep the tears from falling. If he showed too much weakness, she might try to stop him from doing what he knew was necessary. His own tightly reigned in tears, the ones threatening to fall, were not proof of his wavering decision.. but in knowing how badly Caelestis was hurting. She'd lost her mother, and now was losing him. She was strong enough to bounce back from both things, he knew, but he remembered losing his own parents and the pain had been quite visceral. "Cae," he murmured softly, letting his own head drape over her shoulder to pull her into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry I just... left..." His voice quivered as she pulled away from him, not wanting to let go now that she had reunited with him. His daughter was like a brief, overwhelming beacon of light in the darkness, but quickly he found himself sinking back into that same hellish void as he remembered why he was here. "Your mother... she's..." He choked on his words, unable to say them, and he felt his chest tighten painfully. The tears he had been trying to hold back suddenly seemed to fall, and he tilted his head away from her and toward the ground. "She went.. peacefully. Someone... found her... before I could," he breathed, speaking slowly and trying to keep his emotions reigned in. "She loved you, you know, Caelestis," Zephyr said, finally bringing his gaze back up to her and speaking seriously, with all the conviction he could muster. "I just didn't want to go.. without telling you.. how happy you made her. And me." There was a seriousness in his voice, and in his stare, that he hoped would help convey what he was saying, as well as how much he meant those words.

He apologized and she was quick to shake her head hard. "Don't be," she managed to reply, the words sounding choked with all the emotion she was trying to hold back. She'd known that he wouldn't leave for no reason. It would have been great if he'd told her he was leaving, but that was in the past now and she wasn't interested in holding a grudge against her elderly father.

He went on to speak about her mother and to tell her that someone else had found her. Caelestis struggled to maintain any sort of composure and did her best to just nod and not fall apart. It was the words that followed that really got her. Brow furrowing, she tried to process them for a long moment. Voice going soft, she felt more tears spilling down her cheeks as she asked, "You... aren't going soon are you? I... I need you dad." her breathing quickened and she was bordering on being in danger of hyperventilating. Something in how he said that suddenly had her worried. Really worried. Maybe... maybe she could grab him by the scruff and drag him into the territory if that was what she needed to do? The most frightening thing of all was that she had the sudden realization that she couldn't really make him stay. He was old, like mom, and the sinking feeling in her stomach said that he probably didn't have a lot of time left no matter what she did. Cael had never felt so totally powerless.

It was hard to handle the emotion in her voice. Caelestis wasn't exactly one to bottle up her emotions, but likewise he wasn't used to seeing her so.. vulnerable? As if his heart wasn't shattered by now, he felt it breaking a hundred times over, again and again with each glance he cast her way. Had he failed her? He could only hope she held no grudge against him now, though he wouldn't blame her one bit if she was angry with him. It hurt even worse when he noticed the tears that he'd thought were brimming in her eyes had started to spill down her cheeks, and she made no sign that she was trying to stop them. Despite his own best efforts he felt tears starting to slowly slide down his cheeks, though he tried his best to keep his voice level. 'You... aren't going soon are you? I.. I need you dad.' Fuck! The pain was almost too great to handle, and briefly he closed his eyes and tried to steady the way the world seemed to be swaying around him. "You don't need me," he told her solemnly. She didn't need him like this, not in this state, and he had no doubt that her seeing him like this for the rest of his days would only exacerbate the pain. Losing him now might hurt more than anything ever had for her, but the pain would lessen. Somehow, the pain of losing his own children had grown mildly bearable, though he wasn't sure it ever would. "You've grown to be a strong woman, Cael. You don't need anyone, especially me," he breathed. Was he even talking to Caelestis now? Somehow he was seeing Caelum before him, the younger version, the one in all his memories. He knew his daughter could survive on her own, and losing her parents would only make her grow stronger. Stronger than either of her parents had veer been. Was there anything left to say? Delaying the inevitable would only make leaving harder for both of them. Tentatively, as if worried he might never leave at all if he touched her again, he moved to wrap his muzzle around her shoulder and pull her close in a firm hug. The tears were coming more freely now, staining the pale white fur of her shoulder and finally he let out a loud sniff. "I love you, Caelestis. Make us proud." The truth was that nothing she did could ever disappoint him - she was fearless and independent, a conglomeration of all of his good qualities and even more of Caelum's. With a heavy, shuddering breath he finally pulled away from Caelestis and turned to leave, certain he'd stay if he cast her one last look. He knew what he needed to do, and he had come to terms with it; he only hoped Caelestis could too. -exit Zephyr-