The female had met her father in her dreams… only for the briefest of moments, but she saw him there. A worried smile on his face… pale gaze questioning… Why was it that look made her feel guilty about the way life had gone?

Philomema had left Boreas for some time… and during her travels the dire wolf had met a number of others, even falling into moments of lust with some of the men, and admittedly some of the women too, that lead to something quite unexpected.

She had fallen pregnant.

Okay, so it wasn’t really that unexpected. When a boy wolf and a girl wolf happen to do the do…

...and the end result was children. Philomena hadn’t wanted to get rid of them…

...and was glad she hadn’t. Her firstborn, Evangelos, and her youngest, Nausicaa, were so full of life. She saw a younger version of herself in the two of them… They were all perfect though. Perfect in their own ways.

Currently the children were sleeping, tucked safely in the den. Philomena looked over each one before slipping out into the early morn. It felt good to be able to stretch her legs after lying with the little ones throughout the night. It wasn’t easy as a single mother… and Philly worried for them tremendously. If something happened to any of them she’d be crushed…

Her gaze swept over the autumn landscape as Philomena moved just far enough from the den to move towards the edge of the lake. Ideally she had wanted to get back to the Weeping Woods, hell, even the Mangroves… were her mother and brother still there, she wondered?

The thought made her heart ache.

She wasn’t entirely sure what had made her leave…

But she had… and now…

She shook her head.

It didn’t matter anymore.

Philly knew that she was going to rebuild everything. Even if she had to start small… even if she had to build everything from the ground up she would. She hadn’t given up her plans yet… and someday she’d become a crusader against those who had taken her father.

Yes her father had made a poor choice…

But he wouldn’t have had to make it if they never showed up at Dragoste’s doorstep.

Philomena wasn’t sure if she necessarily wanted revenge… not yet. Amon had killed her father… but she didn’t even know what the state of the Abraxas wolves were. She could find out… but only once the children were older. She didn’t want to endanger them without anyone but herself and No Face to protect them. What would they do if they died?

The thought made Philomena shudder. She wasn’t planning to repeat what had happened to her father… but she wasn’t planning to stand by idly either. Gods, if only she could solidify her thoughts, figure out exactly what she wanted…!

Philly glanced down at the water, gazing at her reflection. She looked frustrated, brow furrowed, ears tilted back… and she was. She didn’t know what the next step in her life was anymore. Everything felt so uncertain…

""

A huge yawn left the young pup, her mother’s stirrings enough to bring her into wakefulness. She took a little too long to full rise though, and by the time she pulled herself from her heap of siblings Philly was nearly obscured by the trees. She almost panicked, let fear take over and freak out over being left alone. Naus held it in though, and managed to follow her mother’s scent trail and general direction. She wasn’t sure if she was allowed to follow, but she had. So when she finally caught up she hung back a little watching as her maned mother looked into the water. Myrrh had never seen so much water before. Her bright blue eyes grew two sizes, her little mouth fell open and she stumbled forward out of the cover of the forest. She’d forgotten the amount of trouble she might have been in and skipped over to sit beside her mother and stare into the water.

She blinked a few times as she tried to figure out why two wolves were staring back at them. With her most adorable puppy stare Nausicaa tilted her head to the left and then to the right in her confusion. She didn’t want to ask, much preferring to figure things out on her own. Though she glanced at her mom quizzically. If she happened to explain the phenomenon..

Firefly Lake

Philomema blinked with surprise as another image appeared in the water beside her own. Had it been bigger her initial reaction might have been to jump, to turn and face the stranger with her guard up. But no… that little face. She couldn’t help but let a small smile cross onto her face as a laugh escaped her. “You weren’t supposed to leave the den, Nausicaa.” Though her words were lightly scolding Philly didn’t sound mad in the slightest. No, in fact she was grateful for her daughter’s presence. It broke those churning thoughts of doubt and distress.

Glancing back at the water Philomena let her eyelids slide down a little. “Someone used to tell me that when we look into water we see the true reflection of ourselves and the world around. A mirror image that we can’t hide from. It knows our thoughts, our happiness...” ‘...and our fears…’ Philly shook her head and looked back to her little one with a smile.

“Next year, when the waters warm up again, we’ll all go swimming, okay? That’s a lot more fun than looking at reflections in the water.” Philly lowered herself down so that she was eye level with her daughter.

“Now… what am I going to do with a troublesome little puppy who decided to wander away from the den early, hm?” She leaned in closer, preparing to nudge her daughter onto her back after her next words.

“Maybe I’ll let the monster gobble her up!”

""

Of course, the first things out of mommy’s lips were the dreaded ’you shouldn’t be doing this’ but she was smiling and no anger dripped from her voice. Not that Naus could really remember a time when she had been angry. Maybe when she bit Evan’s ears a bit too hard.. The girl beamed up at her mother, sure the big smile was enough to get away from any repercussions. It worked, and as her mother looked back to the water Nausicaa’s bright blue eyes followed and did her best to listen. She wasn’t always the best listener, but her ears were perked and despite the little fish swimming sluggishly in the water she listened to her mom.

She wasn’t sure what to think about the first part, it mostly sounded like grown up things, but she did find the appeal of swimming. She looked back at her mom with the familiar excited smile. ”Swim? Yes!” She nodded her head enthusiastically but it shifted to mock horror as Philly returned to the conversation about leaving the den. So it hadn’t worked! Drats! She’d have to practice the look more. Lost in her defeat she only heard ‘monster’ after that. Panicked, her blue doe eyes would widen again as he mother came after her. ”No ma!! No’ the monsther!” She squealed and squirmed and kicked all the while giggling as she tried to get away.

It was funny how easily children could be teased, and how simple and innocent their minds were. They would believe anything… and they were happier than adults were, she noticed. They didn’t know the darkness that the world held. Sometimes it was hard for Philly to remember the difference… and she was grateful that her children could remind her. So now, playing with Nausicaa, she found herself grinning widely and enjoying herself. Little moments like this were treasured, especially because she now knew what her mother had missed with her as a child. There was no way she was going to let anything happen to her babies… she’d keep them close until they were able to make their own decisions.

“Grrr!!~~” Philomena laughed as she tried to be a scary monster. It was hard… Nau was too cute how she squealed and giggled, kicking to get away. Philly drew back, catching her breath for a moment before looking down at her daughter with loving eyes. “My little Nausicaa…” The woman lowered herself down so that she was on eye level with her daughter. “Promise you’ll stay mommy’s little girl forever, okay? I want all of you and your siblings to make this promise… but you’ll be the first.”

Philomena smiled a bit more. “Then after that we’ll play whatever you want! Sound good?” The female canted her head to the side. It was probably an odd request… but it was indeed important. Important to her.

""

The Mother Monster was quick to snatch her up and tickle her, Naus thought she was about to die of laughter. With the girl still giggling and screaming as Philomena lifted away she finally was able to take a breath. The giggles faded away as she was able to take bigger and bigger breaths as she looked back up at her maned mother. Naus still was unaware she did not share that trait with her mother or brothers. With one more heavy sigh she drew more near to her mother’s face, touching her nose affectionately to her mother’s. The woman had her sole attention, she was Myrrh’s whole world. Yeah she enjoyed picking on her brothers more than most any other activity but she rose with the sun for her mommy.

Her smile overtook her features as Philomena asked a promise of her, one she would have been more than happy to promise. However impossible her oath might be. Already she had grown so much since coming into the world. ”Fore’er!” She promised as she pushed forward with her paws outstretched to embrace her mother in a loving hug. ”More play, no more mons’er” She said seriously as she backed away and looked into her mother’s eyes again.

Philomena knew that in a literal sense that Nausicaa and her siblings making this promise was impossible… but in a sense they wouldn’t be breaking that oath. They would always be her little ones. Philomena felt her heart melt in her chest as Nau made her promise. Forever. She returned the hug with a loving kiss to her daughter’s head. She was so lucky, she thought to herself again. So, so lucky. They were the blessings in her life… a distraction for a small from the other responsibilities in her adult life. She found her tail wagging slowly back and forth and with a warm feeling in her heart.

“Alright, no more monster.” Philomena moved a paw over her heart. “Cross my heart.” The female winked at her little one. “But no more sneaking after mom, okay? You gotta warn me you’re there.” Or else the real monsters might get you. Philly shook that thought away and gently nosed Nausicaa before asking; “So what does my little one want to play? Tag? Hide and seek?”

""

She knew slightly the effect she had on her mother, though with time she would realize how much sway she held over the maned woman. Nausicaa was as sweet and innocent as the first spring rain, but in the future wouldn’t hold herself back from using her relationships to gain what she wanted. For now the tiny girl would follow along with her mother’s orders and keep her promises. Myrrh beamed as Philly promised the monster was gone, but the smile faded as her mother warned again of her catching her outside the den. Nau offered her mother the tiniest hint of remorse, but really it was from being scolded and not her actual wrong doing. She didn’t like upsetting her mother, but she loved the freedom of being outside the den.

However, her tiny pity party quickly wrapped up as she was offered a bit of play. Nausicaa brightened considerably, jumped up and embraced her mother. She enjoyed playing more even than sneaking out of the den. ”Hide and seek tag!” She managed to squeal, not realizing such games would eventually lead to her love of hunting and exploration.

Again Philomena felt her heart melt as Nausicaa embraced her. The female found herself growing excited again, her gaze shining with delight. “Hide and seek tag it is.” The female remembered playing that game with her own brother as a young one. It had been so much fun… and the memories made her yearn for the days she and Ulric were little. The female nosed her little one again gave an eager nod. Maybe it was because she was still young herself, or a child at heart, but Philly wanted to play the game with her little one as well. She found participating in their development important… and play would lead to greater things.

“I’ll seek first.” Philly said with a grin. “So go find a good hiding place. Don’t make it easy on me, now!” The female lowered her head to the ground and covered her eyes with one paw. “I’ll count to twenty. Ready… get set… one, two, three…” The female began counting slowly, sure that it would be enough time for her little one to find some sort of hiding place.

""

Nausicaa beamed as Philly agreed to her game. One day soon she too would play this game with her siblings, finding she had the makings of a competitive spirit. The game would be so much more fun outside and way from the den. Nausicaa wiggled all over, starting with her tail which caused her butt to sway. She switched feet impatiently and her shoulders moved in time with the rest of her fluffy little body.

A jump of surprise overtook her as her mother offered to be the first seeker. She was a great seeker, but finding a hiding place would be fun. Bright eyes turned from her mother, who lowered herself to count, and out into the world. There were tall plants, not quite grass but close, that had long fluffy brown fur at the top of some of the stalks. This sight greeted Myrhh and her hiding place bean to take shape.

For a long few moments Nau trotted alongside the shore until she found a little peninsula headed out onto the lake. The strip of land was hardly a few inches across and Nausicaa had to travel with one foot in the water. She did her best to stalk out into the cover of the cattails quietly. She went a few more steps after she couldn’t see her mother anymore and hunkered down. Her bellt would get wet, but she didn’t care. Half her legs were already soaked and she wasn’t bothered by the cold. A smirk arose over her features as she congratulated herself on her chosen spot.

Oh mother, I miss you. I am a poor wayfaring stranger…Travelling through, this world alone…There's no sickness, toil or danger….

The repeating song continuously played in her head as she walked one step towards the direction the wind was taking her. Whichever that direction was, she had no clue. The choice she had made to leave was something she was not so aware she was making, until it was made. Was it a mistake? Golden irises scanned the terrain before her as a sound drifted through the slight breeze.

I know you… I walked with you once upon a dream

Her mind drifted to her best friend. “I miss you” She spoke the words aloud as if it would make a difference. He had ruined their friendship with his confession of love. Annoying. It was all annoying. Her mind was racing slightly as she thought of the male wolf. His full masculine darkness against her bright white pelt. He had been huge compared to her slender frame. She had always felt so safe with him. Was that love? Is that how it is supposed to be? Only there was no more time to figure that out, she had left. Jolt was no more in the Northern lands of… it didn’t matter. None of them mattered anymore. She didn’t know why she had made the choice to leave, but she did… and here she was.

Isn’t it lovely, all alone. Heart made of glass, my mind of stone…

Laughter

There was a squeal and more laughter. A pup? Probably with it’s mother, but none the less being lonely was no fun. Jolt slowly made her slender form bend and weave through trees. “Ah” she paused way back in the darkened shadow of the tree line,  watching as what seemed to be a game of … hide and seek? The pup began to cross through the water and hid herself amongst the weeds. “Cute” she smiled and broke the tree line and entered out into the open. Sorry to ruin the party little one, but it’s been too long. Jolt looked over towards what she assumed to be ‘momma’ and sniffed the air. Her maw was pointed upwards and she caught the scent of one more? Another wolf, there were so many around here, how was this pack land so big? She was out of her element and she could feel it. She stayed back watching the wolf. The… big… wolf… What the H… what was she? Pups around, no cursing! Her tail swayed behind her slowly.

Time to go…

She stalked forward… time to be something new in this vast growing world… just don’t get yourself killed Jolt. He would kill you… he couldn't, he had stayed back when she left... so much for love right?

I think I’m lost without you… I just feel lost without you…