Rhyme felt conflicted in his thoughts, he continued going over the events from earlier in the day. He didn’t return straight to Tana after his patrol that evening, preferring to be alone as he relived their moments together. The most important question on his mind was if he really loved her. Rhyme felt a love for his mother, and he loved Shaye in his own way. He worried about Tana, and wanted her to be happy, did that mean he loved her? There were no butterflies though, no erratic beating of his heart in his chest. Maybe he just needed time. The two of them had only met recently.

He shook his head, mentally surrendering for the moment as he stopped in the plains. This wasn’t his favorite place to come think, but it was quiet here and he had no previous memories to distract him. He sighed heavily as he let his hindquarters fall to the ground. The moonlight poured over him as he lost himself to his thoughts again.

""

Winter was taking to the skies, a thing she didn’t do often, and one that Shaye was happy to see. She didn’t think the young bird stretched her wings nearly often enough. Feather, apparently too old for this nonsense, was staying back in den, where it was warm and quiet, and no annoying, pesky Raven’s could annoy her. Shaye wasn’t sure how to keep the peace between her two companions, but she would figure it out. Winter gave a caw, and dived suddenly, and Shaye picked up the pace to see what she had found. She arrived just as Winter landed heavily on Rhyme’s back, and she chuckled, shaking her head as she sidled up to him and took a seat. “Your the Raven whisperer, I swear” she commented, giving him an easy smile, before taking him in more seriously. “What’s eating at you?” she wondered, noting the seriousness of his expression. ""

Rhyme was deep in his thoughts, while he was thinking too heavily of Tana he should have been thinking about patrols and drills and their eventual raid on the slaver pack that had captured him and his mother. He couldn’t help thinking about his emotions and trying to figure out how he really felt. This also caused him to lose track of his senses and he was startled by the sudden crack above his head and talons in his back. He knew well this wasn’t one of his birds.

Rhyme managed to catch the bird out of the corner of his eye, her pearly white feathers brilliant in the light of the moon. Shaye was right there with her, commenting on his ability with the ravens. He managed to smile, not fooling her at all with his occupied mind. Rhyme wasn’t sure if he was thankful or regretful that she had found him.

"Too much." He offered, looking back up at the moon. "You were right though, about Tana." His cryptic response might have been enough to clue Shaye in, and this time he hoped he wasn’t about to be given a hard time. He was having enough trouble with himself. "She likes me." Rhyme did continue, leaving out his own emotions and summarizing his conversation with the blind girl using her choice of words.

""

Winter settled down on his coat, and began to preen herself, looking rather proud as she did so. Shaye shook her head, but hid a smile, feeling more than a little bit motherly towards the large bird. Rhyme, on the other hand, his mood was more difficult than the ravens. He attempted a smile, but she could see that it was forced. She had already taken a seat beside him, but now her tail moved slowly behind her, cautious in its happiness. The moonlight darkened their feathers tremendously, but the whites they both boosted seemed to shine, and the light tones of her cousins eyes could clearly be seen, brilliant and blue in the silvery sheen. ‘Too much.’ he admitted, telling her how she was right. They always spoke about a lot, pack relations among other things, but the name Tana sparked her thoughts, and she knew to what he referred. That semi-awkward chat they had stumbled into well crafting. Yes, she knew what he was going to say. She likes me, Rhyme admitted. She looked at him, at this Forty Two inches tall giant, and thought of Tana, more than health his height, damaged, hurting. His protective instincts where in overdrive when it came to her, she could see that from the start. Shaye herself wasn’t certain what she thought of it, she hadn’t spent much time with the girl, she had never sought Shaye out, and always seemed to be in Rhyme’s shadow. They hadn’t bonded, and Shaye’s hadn’t had the chance to offer her the same comforts she had Spider, but then, she had Rhyme for that. “Okay.” Shaye said, voice thoughtful. “And what do you think about that?” ""

Shaye always seemed to drag the answers out of him more quickly than not. He wasn’t sure spilling everything to her so quickly was in his best interest. As he spoke she seemed to eye him up, not offering any clues to what she thought. She wouldn’t offer any clues to how he thought either. She asked a leading question, eager to get to the bottom of his turmoil knowing he was leaving half the story out. "I haven’t decided. That’s what I’m all up about." He managed, telling the truth. He sighed heavily, his eyes on his paws and not Shaye’s features. "I care about her happiness." He muttered as he tried to articulate his answer to her question. There were too many other emotions, how could he even tell if he felt the same as she did. "I want to make her happy." Rhyme managed to add, but still finding difficulty putting his paw on exactly how he felt about her in that moment.

""

His eyes were downcast, so unlike the confident, strong leader she knew. She watched his cautiously, wondering at the tourmil of his feelings. He admitted he didn’t know his own feelings, and she felt for him. Love wasn’t something she understood, she had gotten a taste of it once, as a kid. She remembered asking her Auntie what it meant to like a boy, the alarm she had seen in Rhythm’s eyes that day, she hadn’t understood it. Looking back now, she could almost laugh, through her heart hurt too much to do so. What ever had happened to that boy? “You care about her, and want to make her happy. So what’s the problem? What’s holding you back?” she wasn’t entirely sure what she felt about him getting attachments. Distractions from their duties, and lessening the time she spent with this clever, caring man. But, in the end, it was his happiness that mattered. He had every right to build a future for himself, especially after what his life had been like. No, she wanted him to have a life. To be an Alpha, have duties, have a family. To remember what he was fighting for, the reasons Abaven mattered to him. Family. “Look, how about we go steal a few samples of the alcohol our healers have been making for the wedding, and see if we can get to the bottom. Both.. of the bottles, and your feelings.” she offered him a lopsided, mischievous grin. ""

Shaye was the only one he let see his weakness, though he tried to deny the quality himself. Here he was so unsure of himself as Shaye dug deeper into the soft gooey innards he would have preferred to hide. He couldn’t know her own experiences, not that they would have given him much insight to himself. Rhyme tried to keep his focus on his cousin instead of fluttering thoughts.

She asked more in depth questions, wondering what exactly his problem could possibly be. Though they were valid questions he still wasn’t sure he could clarify. What was the problem? "I don’t want to hurt her." He managed to offer, though he was sure there was more to his reservations than just that. He honestly worried about what would happen. He never thought of himself settling down with one wolf. Her next suggestion wasn’t expected at all. He did manage to look back to her, knowing how alcohol stripped one of their inhibitions. Maybe that was what he needed. "I think I’ll take you up on that." He stood, disturbing Winter from her preening. He did manage to find a smile as he led the way towards Vail’s den.

""

He would admit that he didn’t want to hurt her, and her tail gave a thoughtful shuffle behind her. Oh? Hmm, it seemed love was blind. “If you feel the same way about her, then hesitating and holding back is going to hurt her. If you don’t feel the same way, tell her, so she can move on. She’s admitted to liking you, so your holding her in limbo as you figure out what you want. So, if we establish that indecision hurts her, what do you want?” she asked softly. But then, she didn’t really know how to give love advice, so perhaps she was staring him wrong. Rhyme was already on his feet, and she was glad that he was taking her up on her offer. She was already feeling a little antsy thinking about love herself. She didn’t think herself to be a mushy person, she didn’t believe in love, not for herself. “Oh good.” she said, getting to her feet and following after him. Winter readjusted herself on her back, moving from talon to talon and squeaking irritably in his ear for disturbing her. They arrived at Vail’s den quickly, and the normally responsible Alpha grinned as she mimed for him to be quiet and wait there, before ducking inside. She knew Vail’s den very well, and knew where the alcohol was stashed. She was able to swipe a bottle in her maw and back out again without disturbing anyone. She motioned for them to come away from her den, grinning, feeling like a kid disobeying Bass’s rules. Remembering the childhood she had lost. ""

To be completely honest Shaye was not any help at all. Did he feel the same way? He couldn’t decide, though he had to guess if he had to pause and think about it he didn’t have the feelings on the same level that Tana did. But he cared about her, he worried about her, and he thought about her more than he often liked to admit. He knew he didn’t want to hurt her. If they started a relationship he would have to be completely honest. Their relationship would be more like his parents instead of Vail and Solor. He huffed softly in response, and followed after Shaye in silence as they went to steal some of Vail’s hard work, trying to ignore Winter’s disapproving noises.

They reached the entrance of Vail’s den and quicker than he would have thought Shaye was in and out with her prize. He smirked, rather proud of how efficient she was. He shook his head as they snuck away, feeling rather eager at the thought of destressing. "I feel like a thief." He chuckled as they finally slowed, far enough away they wouldn’t disturb the residents.

""

So, maybe she couldn’t offer him any solid dating advice, but she could get him to loosen up, and stop stressing over it for an evening. She grinned at him over the bottle in her mouth, feeling rather mischievous herself. “You are a thief.” She promised, no indication of her own thieving mentioned. When she judged they were far enough away from any dens that their likely laughter wouldn’t disturb anyone, she placed the bottle down. “Is one enough?” she wondered. She wasn’t one to drink, in fact, she wasn’t one to get into trouble on purpose. And now, she was an alpha the one who sets the rules, out here causing trouble after dark. That should worry her, instead, she laughed, shaking her head at herself. Ok, so maybe she had some of her own worries that made her want to let loose and stop thinking for a time. She wanted, just for a moment, not to think about her loses, of the wolves gone from her lives. About how many wolves depended on her now to keep them safe. Of how to build treaties, and preparations for winter. No, she wanted to just be herself, to be a kid again, and laugh with her favourite cousin. She took a swig, and immediately coughed and spluttered. “ugh.” she commented. ”That tastes foul, we are doing them a favour removing it from the wedding.” eyes dancing, she took another swig, before nudging the bottle towards Rhyme. Winter fluttered off his back and landed next to the bottle, pecking at the top, and getting a small mouthful herself. “Oh no.” Shaye said, playfully swiping at the bird. “Your too young.’ she warned, like she was still being mature and responsible this evening. ""

She didn’t hesitate telling him that he was indeed the thief he thoughts himself, and didn’t place any blame on herself. She was quickly picking up his mood, and he felt thankful for that. If he didn’t get down to the bottom of his feelings tonight at least they were about to have a good time. Was one enough? He side eyed her, but didn’t doubt it was. They were both large wolves, but neither of them drank with any frequency. "I’m going to tentatively say yes." He offered, not sure if they would have another chance at nabbing a container when they were really inebriated. If they couldn’t steal another bottle they didn’t need another bottle.. right?

Shaye took the first swig, and he stifled a laugh at her reaction. Maybe they were actually keeping the guests from such a harsh fate. "It can’t be that bad." Tana’s had actually been rather tasty, he wondered about Vail’s. With no more hesitation he found himself taking two big swigs as Shaye shooed Winter away from the mouth. No this was not as good as Tana’s. Rhyme managed not to have the same reaction as Shaye though. "Ooh, that’s good stuff." He remarked as he tried not to cough, and immediately took another swig. It was good to let loose with everything going on. However he wasn’t ever going to be ready for the headache in the morning.

The alcohol hit his stomach and warmth spread over his limbs. He was feeling it already, and feeling better about his confused emotions too. He let his gaze linger on Shaye as he pushed the bottle back over to her.

""

She snorted at he tried to play tough, saying it was good stuff and taking another swing. she could see the grimace behind it, and knew he thought it as terrible as she had. She doubted it was her sisters alcahol making abilities - although she doubted Vail had gotten much experiance it over the years. It was likely they had been unfortunate enough to pick a strong, and bitter batch.

It didnt stop her from taking another swig, already feeling her pent up emotions dulling, the reasons for her anxieties easing. It was good, just was she needed. She took another deep sip, prepared for the bitterness this time. She took a long gulp before passing it back to him, and made sure Winter was kept from the bottle. The bird moved back to her perch on rhyme and shaye flopped to the ground looking up at the night sky. "I miss them. I miss them all." She said softly, forgetting for a moment why she always held that in.

Shaye must have grabbed a particularly strong bottle, his body felt unusually warm and his head was already fogging up. Shaye was a good drinking partner though, she took another swig and pushed the bottle back. Their liquid fire would be gone in no time at this point. He smiled at the thought of easily killing the bottle with her and took another swig. Winter returned to his shoulder and Shaye flopped on the ground. He almost followed her lead but lowered himself more gently with the white raven in mind. What he didn’t expect was for Shaye to be a sad drunk. As he had been vulnerable with her so she returned the favor. She missed them. Them. He couldn’t be exactly sure who she spoke of but he guessed it was her parents, Bass probably. Rhyme hadn’t known any of them well and couldn’t exactly mourn with her, but he knew the heartache of stolen years.

Had he been sober he would have been much more understanding, maybe even offered a bit of physical comfort. However, the alcohol was already effecting him and that was not what happened. "I didn’t take you for a sad drunk." He offered with an odd mix of empathy and amusement as he wagged his tail behind him. He let his gaze wander over her relaxed form, watching the moon play in her fur. He was taken aback at the sight, feeling like in this moment he was really seeing her for the first time.

""

He joined her on the ground, more carefully so not to disturb his rider. The bird flared her wings to balance herself, before hopping back off him again and landing on the soft grass. She waddled away a bit and turned back to look at them. Other then that, winter was silent.

She turned her attention back to Rhyme, who's eyes where already on her. He laughed at her, but their was no mockiness to the sound. She playfully punched his shoulder with a paw. "Sod off" she told him, but she laughed, meaning no insult. "I feel like if they where still here, I wouldnt have to be the main responsible wolf in my own life. Instead, they are gone and I'm in charge. We are in charge. How did that happen, rhyme? She wondered softly, flicking her tail on the ground, before rolling and scooting so she could look at him properly. She took another, awkward sip of the bottle. "Besides, your one to talk! You want to sleep with all the pretty girls. That's your problem isnt it? What's holding you back. She snorted so hard bubbled came out of her nose. She knew she shouldn't push his buttons, but she had forgotten why.

He grinned in amusement at her reply as she hit him half heartedly with her paw. Winter dropped from his shoulder and to the ground, her pink eyes trained on the pair of wolves. Rhyme was really feeling the alcohol As she continued. They really did have a lot of responsibility. How would things be different if her parents were still here or if Bass still had control of Abaven. How did they come to be in charge? "Someone thought much too highly of us." He wouldn't have accepted such a position if he had been in a similar state as he was now. Despite the frigid air he thought the night was warm and fuzzy, and Shaye looked much warmer and fuzzier than he remembered. Until she spoke again.



Shaye really hit the nail on the head, that was it wasn't it? He wanted the freedom to have whoever he wished whenever he wished and he was afraid being with Tana might disrupt those possibilities. He looked at Shaye again, really feeling the alcohol as he took another deep gulp and contemplated her words. How did she know him so well? Rhyme looked over her moon touched coat and did his best to scoot closer to her with out revealing how drunk he was getting. Had she always been this pretty?


The sudden thought sobered him up just a moment while the latest swig started to take back hold of him. He loved Shaye in her own special way, and the fact that he thought he was falling in love with her was something he'd have to take to his grave.


"Ha, you might be right." he bubbled, finding himself struck silly As he joined in her mirth. Not finding it particularly funny that she was so amused in his self-inflicted controversy but he couldn't help the not so manly giggles that followed. Being with Shaye was easy, as easy as being with Shaye his drunken self told him. "But there are so many pretty girls." he went on, burying his inappropriate thoughts. "I can't pick one."

""

She snickered "it wasnt me." She admitted, she never would have thought she could fill these paw prints. She never would have tried if hadn't been take it or let it go to completely. She never was one who could let things go, or let the past lie. But she would have picked rhyme for the job, any day. There was something about him, an aura of control and goodness. It was who he was, and what she loved about him. He would run into that burning forest, he would risk his life, and would come out of alive, with ever lost wolf at his side. It was because if him that she knew they could do something with Abaven. "I really am, see?" She slurred as he said she might be right. "there's too much of valentine in you - you wanna have fun, woe some girls and live life. But there's too much rhythm in you too. You want to find love, settle down and have a future." She snorted, laughter bubbling up, before it became something else. It sounded a lot like sniffing, a somber tone taking her voice. "and you should have spent your childhood having fun, but it got stolen from you. So now here you are in the years or your life where you should have been settling down, instead your free to play with girls for the first time. Its.. actually really sad. See, you found the girl. But, if you settle down will you regret the chance to explore this side of yourself. If you dont, do you regret possibly losing the girl?" She said, sniffing some more, on the verge of tears without understanding why, or even what she was saying. She buried her head in the part of his coat closest to her. "I'm going to kill them all. Dead. All dead. Why are they all dead?" Okay, turns out she was a miserable drunk. "Don't ever die, Rhyme. Promise me. I love you, if you die, it will kill me. I lost too many of the wolves I love already" ""

Shaye might have thought too highly of him, or that's what he would have told her if she'd voiced her opinion aloud. Maybe he would have done all of those things but he would have never thought himself so heroic. Her next words made him focus back on her, though focus was a loose term. She insisted that she was correct in her assessment of his predicament. He thought she was rather correct at first too, the parts of his parents that liked to clash the most warred inside of him. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

Shaye quickly devolved back into her sad drunk self, and he wasn't sure if she was still giggling or had started crying. What she said made sense, and when she called him sad he realized she was going to cry. Shaye was a really sad drunk.

His ears fell to his skull and he whined softly as she pushed her worried little head into his chest fur. Rhyme couldn't help himself then, the alcohol, the moonlight, her closeness. He shifted to wrap her up in his arms, unsure about saying anything as she broke down. I love you, she wailed, wanting him to promise he wasn't going to go dying on her.

Rhyme pulled her close and nuzzled his features into the scruff of her coat. He breathed in her scent and tried to subdue his all too eager thoughts. "I love you, Shaye." he whispered back slowly, trying to comfort her and not out himself. "I'll always be here for you," He added, wondering if she had been right about 'all the pretty girls' or if it was just one.

He didn't pull away from her this time, not like he had during their crafting experiment. In fact, he pulled her close, and she sniffed into his coat, trying not to cry. It hurt so much, remembering all the wolves she had lost. She would, for the rest of her life, ask herself; 'Would it had been different if she had stayed?' Now, here she was in a position to lose it all if she left again. Rhyme, vail, rhythm. They where the names of the wolves she needed in her life with a desperate ache. She always thought it would be Vail she needed the most, so why was it that she had out Rhyme at her side, and cried desperately for him to stay there? Her thoughts where a jumbled mess, hazed from the alcohol. She was confusing herself. Rhyme said he loved her, and promised that he wasn't going anywhere. It would have to be enough. She sniffed, and wiped her cold nose on his coat, stifling her tears with a laugh. "Well, we still haven't figured out the answer to your problem. Pass the alcohol, let's see if it's at the bottom of the bottle." She took another swig, a big one, and realised it was empty. She paired inside, then back up at a rhyme. "I'm not sure the answer was in there." She admitted. Was she even making sense? "So what are you going to do. Love all the pretty girls, or just one of them?" Would he promise himself to tana? The thought still hurt, but she reminded herself that a part of him would always be hers.

She sniffled helplessly and he wondered if she had started crying on his shoulder. Shaye didn't hold her alcohol well. He decided to hold her tight for as long as she needed, knowing neither of them would have let themselves into this situation if the brewed substance was not involved. Rhyme had never let himself become so vulnerable with anyone, but he was glad it was Shaye.


Her nose was cold against him, but he didn't mind as she tried to dry her tears. Shaye managed a laugh as she remembered the main reason they had started on the bottle anyway. What were his answers? He has to admit he felt even less sure of himself now that they were drunk. Shaye shifted away from him to finish off the last bits of their adventure, sounding distressed as she emptied the last bit.



"I really don't think it was." He said a bit louder as she observed the answer hadnt been found at the bottom of their bottle. She went on to re-ask him anyway. Was he going to settle or continue a young man's game. "I want the one I can't have." He mumbled quietly, unable to meet Shaye's drunken gaze as he lifted himself up on to his elbows. Unsure if he should have even given voice to his drunken thoughts. The one he wanted was Shaye, and being with the rest of the girls in Boreas would never ease that want. "Tana is easy to be with," he finally voiced as he managed to find Shaye's blue gaze. "I just don't think I can pledge my loyalty."

""

When would she find her shinning knight? Or the storm to match her heart, as Arcus might once had said. She didn't know, she just knew that this one wasn't for her. All that mattered was keeping him in her life, this pillar of strength and support. So she clung to him, perhaps a little harder then she should have. She wept into his coat, for him and for her. For what he had lost, and the fate of their lives. When she turned the subject back to Tana she lost her sniveling, sniffing back the last of the tears with another soft chuckle. "I was so sure we would find the answer here, too" she joked, when really this had just been about letting go. relaxing the stresses of their lives. He said something strange then, and she looked at, trying to focus through her eyes seemed to refuse to do so. "Of course you can have her Rhyme, she likes you" she pointed out. He himself has said that had been her words. "Is she the type to want just a little of you, or all or nothing?" Shaye wanted to know. She didn't want rhyme to lose his freedom, his chance to explore the wonders of the world. Ok, so they where talking about sex, but it was less awkward well she was drunk.