after everything that had happened to her so far, none felt more pressing that her talks with Acere. the two had bonded over the murder of his brother and her revelation that she had done the same with another. it was as if they shared an understanding of each other, yet Heloise felt it was also quite respectful to back away. she knew that due to his age, he would never think of her the way her feelings were budding toward. she was much younger than him, and he wouldn't think of her as anything as a friend. in her best interest, she hoped to step away. out of respect for their friendship, she was going to inform him of her ambition. lifting her head, Heloise would call for the alpha. she did not know where his den was located, so she tried the pines. it was much quieter there compared to the many housed at the ship. the alabaster woman would not pace; she stood tall and allowed him to come to her as she waited with dignity. she did not sit either, hovering in the air and waiting with bated breath of Acere's arrival. would he even show? or would he be ashamed that she saw him like that, and never show his face to her again? "speech"

coded by cloudynight

He had no shame for what he had shared with Heloise. Even though he had promised himself to never show weakness or emotion like that again after what Shaye had done, he felt like he could truly trust the alabaster woman. She hadn’t shown she was anyone or anything other than how she always presented herself. She appeared to be one that upheld her ideals, and didn’t change them to suit a situation. Honest and kind, he appreciated her presence more and more...and even more so after the situation with his brother. The emotion he had about that still felt raw, but it was manageable. He hadn’t really cried since, and the times the old memories did surface, he would quietly slip into his den to be alone.

Today, however, he was doing better. The tasks that alphaship gave him hardly gave him room to think about much else. But at night was usually when his thoughts would slip into deeper things. Unfortunately...he had nobody to return to at the end of the day save for his companions. And while he valued their companionship, it wasn’t the kind he longed for. He was patrolling the south side of the border closest to the southern lands where it seemed the most activity happened, ensuring nobody was sneaking around. After the incident with Kai, he made sure that wouldn’t happen again.

When Heloise called for him, he lifted his head and wondered what she needed him for. He supposed it didn’t matter if it was important or not since he had come to enjoy her company. But knowing her...it likely was of some importance. He couldn’t help the small smile that touched his lips at that thought before leaving the task to his companions while he headed off to find her. His stride was quick and ground eating as long limbs carried him to her, and when she came into view he would offer a nod. ”Hello Heloise, I hope the day finds you well?” He greeted as he came to a stop. ”Something on your mind?” He asked curiously, noting her posture. But then again...he wasn’t entirely surprised by it. She was a dignified woman among many things. One that quite frankly, he admired despite her being younger.

"Speech"

she would turn her head as he greeted her. an easy smile came to her features as she stepped a bit forward before remembering herself. he was her king and she would gift him space. peering at his face, she saw no signs of hopelessness that she had seen at the battlefield. that was good. she promised to keep his secret but she could do nothing if he had tipped off the others. her own involvement may be brought to light, and people did like to gossip. "my king" she would bow her head to him, lifting to look him straight in the face. Heloise was quite nervous how he would take this, and hardly anything nerved her. "yes; the day is like any other. peaceful and quiet. just how I enjoy it" she chuckled lightly. "and yes; there is something on my mind." well, two things really but she kept the most embarrassing one to herself. there was no reason to complicate things; she valued his friendship above all else. no matter what her feelings may hold. "I required your opinion of something. ambition and inspiration flash through my mind, and I do not know if I should heed it or reject it" she had no one else to speak to about this, for Fracture would be saddened if she had left. especially after promising they would remain friends and in Winterfell together. there was also Yurei, her denmate, and one she felt she had to protect. yet Heloise stood tall, breathing in deep as she addressed Acere. "though I worry I will insult you." "speech"

coded by cloudynight

She greeted him in a way that was very formal. While yes he was her king, he also liked to consider himself her friend more than her king. He wasn't sure if she considered him a friend more than her King, however. "Please, I'd prefer if you called me by my name, Heloise." He asked gently. He didn't want to insult her by saying so, but she at least was welcomed to be less formal with him considering some of the things they knew of one another. Granted, she had seen a more personal side of him recently then he had seen of her, but that's not what mattered. The alabaster Male sat down as she explained the day had been good and that she did have something on her mind. Ears tilted forward to listen as he waited patiently. They would perk with interest as she continued, following it up with her saying she was worried about insulting him. He had a feeling he knew what was coming, and he couldn't help the small smile and a small nod as he tipped his head downward a bit. "You sound how I felt when I wanted to leave Abaven for my own purposes. In truth, I felt like I owed them alot for taking us in. But I also returned the favors many times over. You won't insult me, Heloise. I promise you that." Yes, he knew what was coming. He wasn't blind nor deaf, and the way she seemed to think she would insult him for her thoughts and ambitions hinted at it. speech action

she was trying very hard to keep him at arm's length, but it would seem he wanted her to drop the formalities. she resisted a sigh, finding it difficult to reject his wishes. Heloise could say that perhaps she was fearful someone would listen in, her speaking to their king in such an informal way when his rank demanded his respect. yet she also knew Acere would not care if someone did listen in. it was clear that he considered her a friend now, and perhaps that squeezed her heart just a bit in pain. he would go on to say that she sounded like him. he mentioned Abaven, and her conversation with Rhyme flashed through her mind briefly. she gave a numb nod to the king. "I only wish to help Winterfell; it is why I joined. I believed in you and your vision" she began, leaving out frustrating thoughts about lack of decent rank and title she had previously felt. "I still do, Acere. but I feel I must step back and re-evaluate my own life. I have always lived for others. it is time I live for myself." she took in a shakey breath before continuing on. they were too much alike, which is why this hurt her so. "I would like to ask your blessing to make a pack; up north, close by. a friend to Winterfell." "SPEECH"

art + code by Kara

He could tell she had thought long and hard on this. Just like he had before leaving Abaven to follow his own ambitions. Tired of working for others whether he gained respect or not, only to be either let down or his views were different than those he followed which resulted in a clash of morals and views more often than not. Heloise, however, was different. They seemed to hold the same ideals and values, and he felt she was an extension of him in some form. So when she spoke, he listened with an open mind. Quietly, however, as he observed her and took in each word. He had been right in assuming what she was getting to, and he was neither surprised nor disappointed. When she finished, he would take a moment to think before nodding slowly. He didn't know the frustrations she had concerning her rank, though he had seen her work hard and knew she was one of their best warriors thus far. He had the intention of giving her a better title. One that would suit her quite well when he called the pack together in the next few days. If there was anything he knew to be true about himself, was that he was honest. He never liked to lie unless it was for a very good reason, but even then...he hated lying and would always avoid it if he could. "You know...you remind me of myself when I decided I wanted to leave my previous pack to start something of my own." To do what he wanted without fear of consequence again. Before when he was the highest ranking warrior of Abaven, consequence for his actions had been a worry, but evidently not enough until he had gotten demoted for trying to do what he thought was the best course of action at the time. After Shaye had embarrassed him in front of all of Boreas, his mindset had changed and he wanted nothing more to do with following someone else. Especially when their morals and values seemed disconnected and all over the place. He would not be that kind of leader. He didn't know if Heloise had deeper reasons like that to want to leave, or if perhaps he had done something to her without realizing it. Whatever the case, he would take a deep breath and fix her with a calm and gentle gaze. "You do have my blessing, Heloise. I will not stop you from pursuing your ambitions and what you desire." He sighed quietly, before continuing. "I must admit, I...am a little saddened that you are leaving. I've seen who you are, what you can do. You remind me of myself at times, and yet...you're different. I admire you for your honesty and your courage," Had he said too much? He didn't want to embarrass her at all. Yes, he would be saddened a bit that she was leaving the pack, but at least she would be close. speech action

he had done nothing to her that warranted guilt. it was her own fault. she felt she had steeled herself long ago from this situation happening. but somewhere along the way, Acere had gotten too deep under her skin. she didn't know how - perhaps it had always been an attraction - nor how it had gotten to the point she needed to distance herself. her ears piqued forward as he spoke, not daring to break his words and listening to what he said before replying to him. he would not stop her, but a pack was not the only thing she desired. "thank you, Acere" he had given her his blessing, and that was enough for her. and yet, he was saddened to know she would be leaving. a look of surprise crossed her otherwise stoic features as if he had suddenly struck her. was he really not aware of the effects his words may cause her? Heloise looked away, closing her eyes tight. he admired her... she admired him... "I -" she should leave it like that. she should. she knew it would be less complicated that way. "you put too much stock in me" she'd chuckle softly. more stock than she had for herself. her icy gaze turned back to look at the man. "I was not truthful to you." to anyone, really, who asked of her and her past. no, this was about her feelings. not her past. she visibly hesitated. "you are a good man, a decent man. perhaps I am selfish to say such things, but I am quite fond of you. I have been for a while. that is why I think it best to leave. I value our friendship too much to complicate things with you. I did not lie about wishing a pack, but I wish something else. something I cannot have." for all she knew, he had a lady in the pack interested in him. someone closer to his age. someone who would also give her life to him. Heloise looked almost sadly at him for a moment before shifting her body away. she was a strong woman, but she did not want to see his reaction. not because of her. "SPEECH"

art + code by Kara

She started by thanking him, which earned a respectful dip of his head for her honesty. And as he watched her, he noticed she seemed...hesitant. Not much slipped past his observant radar, and there was some things that did. But he also wasn't one to press others to talk without a reason, and as she started to speak, she faltered. Had he said too much? He had been honest with her. It was one of his better traits, and he had no reason to lie nor claim things that he didn't think were true. He did think she was both a good warrior and a hard worker, but she seemed to think he was giving too much praise it seemed. "I'm only being honest," He would say again in a gentle voice.
"I was not truthful to you,"

One brow dot rose slightly, but he would wait before saying anything. If she hadn't been, surely she had her reasons? He saw her hesitation, and this time his brows would furrow with mixture of worry and confusion. Had something happened he didn't know about? Had she been hurt in some way? Was he going to have to track someone down to make them pay their dues? Perhaps not. She spoke, and he drank in every word.

She started by saying he was good and decent. That she was fond of him. As observant as he was, he was confused when she went on to say she didn't want to complicate things between them. How would she? Things had gotten complicated between him and Shaye after that day in the battlefield, but nothing like that had happened between him and the alabaster she-wolf. "I'm...not sure I understand. Our friendship will never tarnish, Ms. Cel Mare. If complications in our friendship is something you worry about, there's no need to worry. Whether you are here, leading your own pack, or elsewhere...I've no interest in shutting you out. You've been honest with me from the moment I met you, and I suppose I must admit that I highly value you." Perhaps more than he should, but he couldn't help it. He valued her in many ways. Not just for her honesty and battle prowess, nor her ability to craft and what she could contribute to the pack. But for her. He valued her friendship and everything she portrayed and who she was. Of course...after everything that had gone on in his life, the kind of fondness that she was referring to had gone over his his.

"Speech"

yes, he was being honest. he was decent like that. while he may have secrets, she did not fault him for that. she had secrets too. it just hurt her heart to make her aware he only ever would see her as a friend, a valued member of his pack and nothing more. he had not offended her, but he had indirectly insulted her. Acere said he did not understand, causing Heloise to tear her gaze back to him. if she stopped now, she would regret leaving confusion between them. "and I value you" the alabaster woman stated softly before shaking her head with a defeated chuckle. perhaps he had been blind to her deeper devotion. perhaps he was too concerned about Winterfell to really notice her feelings. or perhaps he saw her as a child. she was years younger than him, but she did not care. she could not change the fact she had admired him for his personality, not his older age. to her, it was experience. to her, it meant he was more mature. especially when she stacked Acere up against the other males running about. "Acere, when I said I was 'fond' of you, I meant it... differently" her breath caught but she continued on moments later "I would regret this, if I never said anything. that I left Winterfell because I did not tell you the truth. I wish to leave because I know I cannot have you." "SPEECH"

art + code by Kara

For all the years he had on him and all the experience he had accumulated, there were times where he was blind and oblivious to certain things standing right in front of him. He didn't always say the right things, and probably said the wrong things more often than not. He made mistakes just like anyone else, but when she turned sharply to look at him again, he couldn't quite help but feel like he had offended her with something he said. She seemed...upset. And it hadn't been his intention to upset her. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find words. He didn't want to say something to further upset her or make the conversation go awry. But it seemed that in some form he already had, and he learned it as she spoke again.

He listened quietly, the alabaster Male feeling shock and surprised. She was fond of him...but not in the way he initially thought. It was a deeper kind of fondness. One that went beyond just friendship. Mentally he wanted to kick himself for not realizing it sooner, but he had never been good at discerning these kinds of things. The last time someone had been fond of him like that to his knowledge had been Winter...and she had to practically spell it out for him just like Heloise did now. He felt he had made a mistake. Not because of her but because he hadn't understood this sooner. If he had, he likely would have elaborated on what he meant when he said he valued her. But now that he knew she felt the kind of fondness that went beyond friendship, he wasn't sure what to say.

His heart in some form, was still hung up over losing Winter. It had been years ago, and truth be told the woman before him painfully reminded him of her. He felt his heart begin to sink a little, a sad look in his eyes now and he wasn't sure what to do or say. She was leaving Winterfell because of him..."I...I don't know what to say..." For once in his life, he really didn't. For so long he ignored the part of him that needed to love and needed love himself. He never thought he would be able to after losing her, and yet...here was Heloise, standing at the gates. He could feel a rush of emotions flying at him all at once. He had been unprepared for this. And he was sure she had been unprepared for it as well.

"Speech"

he was silent for a long time. Heloise didn't break her icy gaze from his crimson one, yet she also did not expect anything from her words. to her, it was already clear he did not like her in that way. she didn't know why she said these things. it was best to keep them inside, but she knew after so long refusing to allow anyone close to her... it was as if a dam had been overrun with the water it had kept. refreshing, dangerous but needed. if he going suprised by her control, her lack of anger or frustration, she only smiled gently at this. at him. "you need not say anything, Acere." for it was unfair to put this on him like that. it was like she said; she had been afraid of insulting him. afraid of letting him down; he had welcomed her to Winterfell and she had done this to him. made him confused, put him on the spot. she had told him it was because of him that she was leaving, but before that he told her he wasn't going to shut her out if she did leave. "it was my choice to tell you" he did not pressure her into it. he had only been accepting of her ambitions, her goals. "I did not expect anything from it, nor from you." for once, her voice was warm as she addressed the king. she was not angry at him. "when I leave, I will seek you out and tell you" unless he felt too shocked to be around her anymore. Heloise turned her body fully away this time, her back to the king. "I didn't lie. I value our friendship too much to complicate things." she made to leave, and if he did not stop her she would be off. "SPEECH"

art + code by Kara

"You need not say anything, Acere." He felt ashamed. Simply for the fact that for once he didn't know what to say. She had been the only one besides Winter to confess that they liked him, and he was lost for words. He was genuinely shocked and surprised initially by her confession, and he knew it was hard for her to say such things to someone like him. Yes, he was her King, but the title meant nothing in this situation. He had closed himself off to accept love nor had he felt that kind of love for years. The love he felt and gained for his family was one thing, but a romantic kind was wildly different and had been foreign to him for a long, long time. He didn't want to disappoint her, but he was disappointing himself for not immediately saying anything to her. It was certainly something he felt he needed to process...but it didn't make him feel any better that he had basically left her hanging.

Still, he had to say something. Anything. She had opened up to him, something he knew hadn't been easy for her. Just like it wasn't easy for him to immediately say something in response. By the time he managed to find his voice, she was already walking away. He stood as if to go after her, not wanting them to part ways like this. But his feet remained frozen to the ground and all he could do was watch as her pale form melted away into the forest. He stood in silence for a long, long moment. And even as the crunch of snow from smaller paws approached, he did not look away. "What's wrong dad?" Finn asked, the young Todd investigating the area. "Everything," Acere would say at first. "What'd you do?" Again, Finn asked. "Nothing..."

Indeed he had done everything wrong and done absolutely nothing about it. Did he just ruin the friendship between him and Heloise? Was this how Shaye felt in a way? The circumstances behind that were different of course..."I'm not sure what you mean?" Finn asked quietly as he too looked off in the direction Heloise had gone. "Let's just say I fucked up, alright?" Sighing, the alabaster giant turned and went his own way. Desperate to try and find something to distract himself.

-exit-

"Speech"

it was unfair to say that to him. she felt shame too. deeply. stubborn pride did not allow her to look back, afraid of what she had already seen. his shock and confusion clear in the wind. Acere did not speak back to her, and Heloise took it as a sign that they should just remain allies. she walked off, her head held high despite a storm brewing inside. the fear of her ambition, of wanting a pack for herself, seemed to reside. especially in favor of leaving Winterfell - and Acere - behind. she could not hope to face him now. at least, not for awhile. without a second thought, she'd turn toward the border and walk over it. there, her gyrfalcon was waiting. he was preening himself on a low hanging tree but took off the moment her alabaster form appeared. she'd gift Kresnik a nod before she walked across the snow covered field. she only hoped now to drown her sorrows where no one could ever see her do such a thing. Heloise wanted to remain strong, and she would not let the people of Winterfell know her blunder. EXIT "SPEECH"

art + code by Kara