Shaye knew that her judgment was compromised Vail, and her missing daughter, hovered always at the edge of her awareness. After the accidental overdose on fermented fruits, the woman was forced to take a look at herself and acknowledge the truth - she was a mess. Abaven deserved more than here, and the stress of this position was killing her…

Feeling more than a little like a failure, the Alpha went in search of her young successor, and found her by the waters edge, fishing. A common hunting practice of the Abaaven wolves, and a very necessary one with the limited prey available on the island. They had to work very carefully with the hunters to ensure they didn’t decimate any one population of prey, and ruin the ecosystem of the island.

“Hey” she said gently, taking a seat next to the younger wolf. “We need to talk” she admitted. “How would you feel about becoming the main Alpha of Abaven, and having me step into a secondary role, if we did this, what direction would you take the pack?” she asked quietly, aware of the responsibilities she was throwing onto the smaller wolf.

Fishing had quickly become a necessity. The ash in the sky made it difficult to spot the shadows beneath the surface - not to mention the churning waters of the ocean were so different from the rivers she knew - but Theory thought that she was becoming quite good at it. She flicked an ear backwards at Shaye's approach; her familiar scent caused no alarm. When the older alpha reached her and settled by her side, the question that she asked caused Theory to look at her twice.

The primary alpha? Questions swirled in her head, so many that she was nearly dizzy. Theo whined in her throat and pressed her head against Shaye's shoulder. The experienced leader wouldn't have made this decision without her reasons, and Theory wondered what had caused her to arrive at this course of action. Had it been that strange night she'd found Shaye slurring her words beneath the trees? Or something far worse?

"If we did this..." she closed her eyes tightly, gathering her courage. It was now or never. "If we did this, I'd like to hold a pack meeting about which course of action we will take in the spring. I'm not sure if it will be safe to return to our home. I want to see if the pack agrees. There are plenty of lands in Boreas we could make our own." It took all of her bravery to even suggest such a thing, but she had to. Ever since the eruption it had been on her mind, plaguing her daily thoughts. Was it safe to return? Would it ever be?

Shaye drew in a breath and looked at Theory with disappointment. "Everything the world has thrown at us, we have bounced back from. Floods, famine, war. That land has always returned its bounty to us, coming back stronger then it was before. Leaving those lands won't bring you a better sense of stability-" she paused, taking in another deep breath, and looking for the right words for the moment.

"People have roots, and you want to tear those free in the middle of a crisis as through they dont exist. The thicket grew back, and richer then it had before because fire has a natural course in life. It burns through the litter beneath the grasses, and life grows back stronger for it. You cant run because your scared Theory. If you mean to take the pack to lands untainted by the volcano, there is no where else to go. Auster is off bounds to us, because a pack there is far more malicious than anything mother nature might throw at us. They already did us wrong, and we must avoid their radar. Mallus remembers that we once belonged to him and would use that in a heart beat." She told the young girl. "I am feeling my age, and my heart hurts. I wish to remove myself from responsibility before it kills me, but are you ready?" She asked the young girl in worry.

Theory couldn't disguise the hurt in her eyes at Shaye's words. She had been thinking long and carefully about her answer since the volcano had erupted and she had foisted the mantle of alpha upon her in the midst of disaster. That night she had discovered Shaye drunk (or poisoned?) underneath the tree, the older alpha had said that Theory was chosen for her passion for change. To have Shaye push back hurt her more than she could say.

"I am not motivated by fear," she said carefully, trying to maintain her composure. Theory was still so young. Navigating a tense discussion like this without losing her cool was a challenge, but she tried to channel everything she had learned so far. "You said that you chose me because I had a passion for change. I remember my roots, my mother is buried there..." she choked. Damn it. She had been so close to remaining totally cool and collected.

The older alpha spoke so cavalierly of dying that it surprised her. Theory's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly. Shaye wouldn't pass - she couldn't. There was still so much that she felt she needed to learn. As she spoke of the pack to the south, Thalia's face danced in her head. The younger girl was a spitfire, but malicious? Theo wasn't so sure. This was the first time she'd heard the name Malleus at all. "I am trying to be ready," Theory said softly. It was all so much to bear. "I love you. You've been a leader and a mother to me, but I am not you. As much as I wish I could be," she laughed quietly, leaning affectionately on Shaye's shoulder to try and dispel some of the tension that the younger girl was feeling. "I just wish I could see the future."

She looked at Theory, frustrated and weary. For all of a moment a tinge of Shayes fire had returned to her, as she had spoken about Abavens lands. But in the end, her exhaustion won out, and she sagged where she stood. She remembered why she had come here, why she was giving up the pack she loved so deadly. She was too tired, and her body to worn to keep this going. She didnt have the energy to stop Theory, to keep Abaven in her hands. This pack was killing her.

"Very well, move, if you must. I dont have the energy to stop you. But know you go without me, I will return to the den of my Auntie, where I first learned my passion for healing. I will return to the grave of my sister. I will return HOME. Perhaps you will return for me, and offer me one last kindness, and place me on the grave with my sister." Shayes composure lost any strength, and she sagged to the ground, feeling the despair of her life, the age and pain that was breaking her.

Home. As Shaye broke down, Theory did with her. She collapsed next to her, the wolf who had raised her and whom she had known longer than her own mother. "We will return there in the spring. We must survey the lands and look for any that we may have lost or who have come looking for us. This isn't something I want to do with any great haste," she said quickly. If it was something she even did at all. Counselling the pack first was a priority. A necessity. Theory wouldn't make any decisions without the support of the wolves that she was charged to lead.

"I will go with you. I will be by your side," she whispered, pressing her muzzle urgently into Shaye's cheek. Theo nuzzled her insistently, not ready to admit the age that she saw clearly written across her mentor's face and body. "I owe you every kindness I can - you taught me to be kind," Theory said, tears streaming freely now from her eyes. How often had she cried over these past few months? It felt like she cried every day - in private, in front of her father, always hidden away from the pack. She wouldn't let them see her cry.

"And when it is my time, I will come to your grave and wish that you will welcome me into your den again, just as you did the first time. I hope you will be proud." The young girl wept openly now, for the sake of grief that she didn't yet feel but knew was looming over her. She wept for change and the destruction that had been wreaked by the volcano. She wept for Shaye, whom she would be lost without.

Perhaps she would wait for this old woman to die, before she moved the pack away from its home. Maybe that would be enough, by then she would no longer be in a place to care. There would be no flowers upon her grave, but the pack would be alive and strong under Theorys rule. What more could she ask for?

She drew the younger woman close, holding her tight as the both of them weeped for loss. She wished Theory did not understand this pain, she did not want the young girl to rise to old age knowing regrets, and to miss so many wolves she had once known. "I gave my life and vitility to this pack. Now all I wish in my old age, is to be home, to be near my sister. To hope the spirits of our parents will find us there." She sighed softly, burying herself in Theorys coat. "You will always have a home in my den, wherever I might be." She said quietly, knowing they both spoke of her death.

The conversation was cathartic. Any tension that she had felt before had dissipated. Theory would do right by Shaye, no matter what it took. She could put her own convictions aside to make sure that her mentor was comfortable until the very end. Selflessness came easily to her, it was second nature. "Abaven has become what it is today because of you," she said softly, soaking up Shaye's embrace.

Theory wished she could spend forever here, side-by-side with her alpha partner and mentor. Even now she could feel the subtle changes - Shaye was ribby, even for winter, and her coat hung differently on her body. It was as if the color had been taken from her. "I love you, more than you could ever know," she insisted. "You are the reason..." Theo choked, trying to find the right words. "You made me who I am. I am so grateful for that."