Guilt is a bitter brew
10-30-2019, 03:02 PM
Winter came and found her just outside of Abaven lands. The girl hadn’t brought out the courage yet to cross over and see her family home. She certainly hadn’t been to Ibis island, and reunited with her family. she still felt numb from her treatment in Ashen, she still missed Poem and regretted leaving her behind.
How she wished she had found the courage, if she had just crossed over, if she had found SHaye, it would have distracted her, it would have meant she wasn’t on that cliff when the earthquake happened. Her mother would be alive.
She walked as through on a dream across the Plains and towards the Rapids where her mother had first taught her how to catch Salamanders. Her chest felt tight, and it was oddly difficult to breathe. Winter was still on her back, quiet as the girl walked. She didn’t know what she would have done, or where she would have gone, but what she did see was Rhyme, standing, heartbroken, in the field. They saw each other at the same time, and Motif froze, before the guilt washed in so hard it caused her physical pain. this was her fault
Crying, Motif turned from her father, and fled Abaven territory. “Find Poem” she told Winter through her tears, she had already told the bird where to find her.
How she wished she had found the courage, if she had just crossed over, if she had found SHaye, it would have distracted her, it would have meant she wasn’t on that cliff when the earthquake happened. Her mother would be alive.
She walked as through on a dream across the Plains and towards the Rapids where her mother had first taught her how to catch Salamanders. Her chest felt tight, and it was oddly difficult to breathe. Winter was still on her back, quiet as the girl walked. She didn’t know what she would have done, or where she would have gone, but what she did see was Rhyme, standing, heartbroken, in the field. They saw each other at the same time, and Motif froze, before the guilt washed in so hard it caused her physical pain. this was her fault
Crying, Motif turned from her father, and fled Abaven territory. “Find Poem” she told Winter through her tears, she had already told the bird where to find her.
10-30-2019, 03:19 PM
Poem was nearly silent as she walked, following the last bit of her mother left here. She cried most of the journey as well, unable to deal with her grief without the visual representation of her sorrow. She couldn’t get over not being able to see her mother again, not being able to bring her sister home in time. She felt guilt and loss and she hated it. Hated that her mother had died, hated that she hadn’t been there, hadn’t been able to help. She couldn’t do anything, Shaye was gone and there was nothing she could do.
The girl tried not to hate herself for it. If she had been stronger, if she had beaten Sirius the first time. She would have been home with her mom, she would have been able to talk to her once more, to ask her all of the things she hadn’t previously. It was all so unfair.
She made her way as quickly as possible, Winter leading her to where Motif lingered alone. Poem raced to her side, her heart aching. ”Mo,” she said softly, completely unable to keep her tears from spilling from her eyes.
The girl tried not to hate herself for it. If she had been stronger, if she had beaten Sirius the first time. She would have been home with her mom, she would have been able to talk to her once more, to ask her all of the things she hadn’t previously. It was all so unfair.
She made her way as quickly as possible, Winter leading her to where Motif lingered alone. Poem raced to her side, her heart aching. ”Mo,” she said softly, completely unable to keep her tears from spilling from her eyes.
10-30-2019, 03:29 PM
She felt guilty for a lot of things, and running from her father was just one more to add to the list. She bunkered down outside of the territory, and waited for her sister to arrive. She didn’t know how long it would take for Winter to bring the news, or Poem to make the journey - or - if Sirius would even let her come.
She had started to convince herself that the Warlord would not release her, when Poem was calling her name. “Po, Po!” the young girl cried, scrambling to her paw and running into her sisters arms. “I’m so sorry Poem, it’s all my fault. I broke everything, I ruined everything. I ran away, and I broke our family apart, and now Mum’s dead, and its all my fault.” he legs collapsed beneath her and she crashed to the ground before her sister, chest heaving in terrible sobs. “I ran away from Da, he called my name and I left him there because I couldn't face him. I’m a coward, through and through”
She had started to convince herself that the Warlord would not release her, when Poem was calling her name. “Po, Po!” the young girl cried, scrambling to her paw and running into her sisters arms. “I’m so sorry Poem, it’s all my fault. I broke everything, I ruined everything. I ran away, and I broke our family apart, and now Mum’s dead, and its all my fault.” he legs collapsed beneath her and she crashed to the ground before her sister, chest heaving in terrible sobs. “I ran away from Da, he called my name and I left him there because I couldn't face him. I’m a coward, through and through”
10-30-2019, 03:55 PM
Had she not been so filled with grief Poem might have thought more heavily about what Sirius had just done. Allowing her to return to her family during such a tragic time. Maybe it would help sway her opinion of him in time. The girl rushed to Motif’s side, pressing herself firmly against her sister’s side. Her tears continued without prompting as Motif spoke up. She wanted someone to blame for all of it, for the pain that held tightly to her heart. She knew it wasn’t Motif though.
”You didn’t do this Mo,” she said with conviction but sadness. ”You didn’t know any of this would happen, you couldn’t know.” She hiccuped through her heavy sobs. Poem just wanted to hug her mom again. To bury her face in her fur and breathe in her warm homey scent. To tell her how much she loved her.
She held tightly to her sister, even as she fell to the ground and cried as heavily as Poem did. ”Shh, Motif.” She whispered comfortingly as she confessed what she did to their father. ”Does he.. He doesn’t know?” She had been making an attempt to come to terms with the fact since leaving Sirius. Could she even say the words? Why did all of this have to happen? She wanted her mom, to be that tiny puppy again curled beside Shaye’s warm belly. Tears spilled renewed down her cheeks as she mourned her heavy loss.
”You didn’t do this Mo,” she said with conviction but sadness. ”You didn’t know any of this would happen, you couldn’t know.” She hiccuped through her heavy sobs. Poem just wanted to hug her mom again. To bury her face in her fur and breathe in her warm homey scent. To tell her how much she loved her.
She held tightly to her sister, even as she fell to the ground and cried as heavily as Poem did. ”Shh, Motif.” She whispered comfortingly as she confessed what she did to their father. ”Does he.. He doesn’t know?” She had been making an attempt to come to terms with the fact since leaving Sirius. Could she even say the words? Why did all of this have to happen? She wanted her mom, to be that tiny puppy again curled beside Shaye’s warm belly. Tears spilled renewed down her cheeks as she mourned her heavy loss.
10-30-2019, 04:01 PM
Poem didn’t believe it was Motif’s fault, but the young girl wouldn’t be convinced. Everything had started to go wrong after she had left in search of Canni. She had gotten kidnapped, and sold to Sirius. Poem had given herself up to free her, and Shaye was now dead. If she had just stayed at home than none of this would have happened. They would still be a family.
She cried heavily, especially when Poem herself collapsed, the girl had always been strong enough for the both of them, Motif had relied so heavily on that strength, and found herself lost without it. “He knows, they all know, but I haven’t seen them yet, I was too scared. They’ll know it’s my fault, they hate me. Mums gone, I just want her back” she sniffed, burying her head into Poems coat.
She cried heavily, especially when Poem herself collapsed, the girl had always been strong enough for the both of them, Motif had relied so heavily on that strength, and found herself lost without it. “He knows, they all know, but I haven’t seen them yet, I was too scared. They’ll know it’s my fault, they hate me. Mums gone, I just want her back” she sniffed, burying her head into Poems coat.
10-30-2019, 07:11 PM
Everything seemed to go wrong the moment that Motif left Abaven. ”I wish you hadn’t left. I wish I’d found you so much sooner.” She cried softly into her sister’s fur. Their family would never be whole again, th eloss of Shaye was the loss of their heart. How were they going to go be able to go on without her there? Poem yearned for her advice, and her gentle grooming as she was upset.
Poem had never been more upset in her young life, losing Motif had been difficult but she had a deep hope that her sister would return. That she wasn’t lost forever. But their mother.. There was no doubt that Shaye was gone, there was nothing for her lost daughter to do. She sobbed heavily against Motif’s self deprecating words. ”No one hates you.” She tried to say as she sniffed back her tears. ”I..I..I want her back too. It’s not fair. How.. what.. I don’t know what to do.” Poem didn’t know what to do. What did they do now with their beloved mother lost to them?
Poem had never been more upset in her young life, losing Motif had been difficult but she had a deep hope that her sister would return. That she wasn’t lost forever. But their mother.. There was no doubt that Shaye was gone, there was nothing for her lost daughter to do. She sobbed heavily against Motif’s self deprecating words. ”No one hates you.” She tried to say as she sniffed back her tears. ”I..I..I want her back too. It’s not fair. How.. what.. I don’t know what to do.” Poem didn’t know what to do. What did they do now with their beloved mother lost to them?
10-31-2019, 01:19 PM
“I’m so sorry” Motif cried, hearing even in Poem’s words, that she shouldn’t have left the pack. Poem might not be making the connection, but this really was all Motif’s fault. It all started because she left, even Poem could see that leaving was bad. Motif curled in on herself, a miserable ball. She almost wished she was back in Ashen, having Venom beat her up. She would rather that then find out her mother was dead. She deserved that, worthless as she was.
“Poem, you always know what to do, you have to know!” Motif said, pawing at her sister, and trying to crawl into the crook of her sisters arm. She didn’t deserve comfort, but she was selfish enough to try for it regardless.
“Poem, you always know what to do, you have to know!” Motif said, pawing at her sister, and trying to crawl into the crook of her sisters arm. She didn’t deserve comfort, but she was selfish enough to try for it regardless.
10-31-2019, 02:41 PM
Motif continued to believe the blame resided with her, but she couldn’t have predicted the accident. She didn’t have to leave Abaven, but their mother’s death did not lay at her sister’s paws. Poem didn’t think she believed in a higher power, but wondered briefly if hating such a being for taking their mother would relieve any of the permanent ache in her heart. Likely not even if it did exist.
Motif pawed at her as she tried to curl up closer to her sister. Poem just shook her head as she insisted that she would know what to do. How did she move on? Shaye was supposed to be there for her. To give her advice about her future relationships, to help her with her own kids, she wished she’d trained more with her mother and not just Rhyme.
More tears poured heavily down her cheeks as she remembered vividly the way her mother spoke of their last name. How proud she was to be a Destruction, and how deeply she wanted Poem to keep her name. Now Poem understood. Too late. ”But I don’t, Mo.” she cried with regret. ”There’s so much more I wanted to experience with her.” She whimpered softly into Motif’s coat.
Motif pawed at her as she tried to curl up closer to her sister. Poem just shook her head as she insisted that she would know what to do. How did she move on? Shaye was supposed to be there for her. To give her advice about her future relationships, to help her with her own kids, she wished she’d trained more with her mother and not just Rhyme.
More tears poured heavily down her cheeks as she remembered vividly the way her mother spoke of their last name. How proud she was to be a Destruction, and how deeply she wanted Poem to keep her name. Now Poem understood. Too late. ”But I don’t, Mo.” she cried with regret. ”There’s so much more I wanted to experience with her.” She whimpered softly into Motif’s coat.
10-31-2019, 07:44 PM
Rhyme was completely hollow, there was nothing but an ache in his heart. His eyes seemed to have glossed over the moment he knew Shaye was gone. His mind was blank, he hadn’t eaten, he hadn’t been able to sleep. He barely knew where he was but beside Shaye. There were no tears left, his throat was raw from screams of denial. He didn’t see anyone that tried to console him, hadn’t even noticed as Motif ran from his side. He was fully consumed in the loss and he didn’t wish to be brought out of the deep sorrow that overwhelmed the once alpha. Shaye was his partner, she was supposed to grow old beside him, to watch their grandchildren play at their feet and laugh as their family grew. They had been so close to being whole one more time. For the first time in his life Rhyme contemplated if he even wanted to keep going through life. Was it possible without her beside him? The Raven Knights wings were broken.
11-01-2019, 02:05 PM
Poem didn’t know what to do, and she was as broken as Motif. It hurt so much to see Poem confused and in pain. Motif wanted to bury her head in the sand and pretend none of this had happened. She felt shaky and confused, she was no leader, no rising force, she couldn’t pull Poem from this sadness, and help her move on. She didn’t even know how to move on herself.
She did know one thing, this was her fault, and she had to find a way to make amends. She could never fix this, but maybe she could start to put some of it right. “I-i-i’ll go back to Sirius, and i’ll tell him to take me instead of you. Just, tell da I love him, okay?” Motif whimpered.
She did know one thing, this was her fault, and she had to find a way to make amends. She could never fix this, but maybe she could start to put some of it right. “I-i-i’ll go back to Sirius, and i’ll tell him to take me instead of you. Just, tell da I love him, okay?” Motif whimpered.
11-01-2019, 02:48 PM
Poem cried heavily into her sister’s coat, she tried to be strong and she wanted to hold herself together for Motif. She couldn’t though. This devastating blow dealt to her laid her low. Her future was foggy and gray no longer the bright path she once saw. Shaye had shown her the road she wanted her to take, she had been eager to take up Abaven’s leadership someday. Then Motif was gone. That decision had been an awful catalyst and Poem would never blame her sister for it.
Suddenly Motif was stuttering atrocities at her. No. There was no way Motif was going back to that man. A sudden fiery anger overwhelmed Poem, a protective anger brought about by the huge emotion of the tragedy at hand and the girl’s difficulties coping. She snarled at the thought of Sirius even seeing her sister again. ”No.” Poem shifted subtly, while still holding her Poem seemed to rise above her as well. ”He won't touch you again.” She growled, her own vibrant wounds from him stinging as she banished the thought of Motif gaining the same treatment or worse.
Suddenly Motif was stuttering atrocities at her. No. There was no way Motif was going back to that man. A sudden fiery anger overwhelmed Poem, a protective anger brought about by the huge emotion of the tragedy at hand and the girl’s difficulties coping. She snarled at the thought of Sirius even seeing her sister again. ”No.” Poem shifted subtly, while still holding her Poem seemed to rise above her as well. ”He won't touch you again.” She growled, her own vibrant wounds from him stinging as she banished the thought of Motif gaining the same treatment or worse.