IF I HAD A HEART I COULD LOVE YOU

Asvor was flying.

However, her currenty journey wasn't at all like the graceful soar of an bird, gliding seamlessly through the sky. The way she was drifting across the flat, vacant field, at least on the exterior, looked quite normal... if not a bit erratic. Her movements were disjointed; one moment she felt as though she was being tugged backwards, and the next she felt like something was propelling her forward.

But on the inside, she wasn't even half as graceful. There was no soaring, there was only stumbling, only the feeling of being frantically propelled toward nothingness. The future somehow, in her current state, seemed infinitely bleak - full of suffering and despair. She'd known somewhere in her heart, for years now, that most of her family was gone... surely her parents weren't alive, and she was certain at least some of her siblings might be long gone now from this physical world, but suddenly that thought seemed terrifying. Perhaps it was the volcano's eruption, coupled with the mushrooms she'd ingested, that made these thoughts somehow surface, but all at once remembering all she had lost felt suddenly suffocating.

Their faces seemed to follow her, peering at her from the corner of her vision, no matter which way she turned. The only solution? More drugs. It was something she rarely did in the presence of even those closest to her, save for her companion, and today she was far enough from home that it seemed like the only viable escape from her dark thoughts. Enough and she would succumb to delirium so brilliantly blinding that she wouldn't feel anything at all, but until then she was left in her current state.

Stumbling, almost blindly, across the field that lay scattered with debris from a life that had no connection to her own. Occasionally she felt her paw graze a piece of broken metal or wood, sharp enough to cut but somehow she managed to cling to enough situational awareness to not injure herself. Yet. Or perhaps it was her bush viper's anxious hissing that steered her away from danger, coiled tightly around one of her forelimbs, the green viper's head draped over her neck loosely, searching ahead of them as Asvor pushed on.

IF I HAD A VOICE I WOULD SING

As the boy often did, he wandered. Where he had wandered to this time, he didn't really know. Beat was a little lost. Not that it mattered much. He would be missed, but they were better off without him around. Less bad could happen to them. He was cursed, after all. Everyone that he loved died. Everyone that grew close to him suffered. He was a menace and was better off alone.

Gangly legs carried the sulking child across the plateau. Prominent hip bones stuck out like spikes. He often forgot to eat in his constant state of apathy. Beat didn't want to die by any means. He was too much of a coward for death. It was obvious that he didn't care about himself though. His black and white pelt was dirty. Burrs stuck in his tail and chest. He was grossly thin, his long legs adding to the freakishly emaciated look. A strong wind might blow him over, one would think. He just didn't care.

At six months old he had lost both parents and an aunt. All of whom had cared for him. He had loved them and they had died. Beat couldn't understand it and so, the only logical explanation why those around him died was because he was cursed. It was his fate that everyone around him would die. In the end he would be as alone as he felt. At the thought, a soft whine pulled from the boys tight throat. Ears plastered themselves to his skull and tears filled two-toned eyes. He was a mess. Both mentally and physically, he was a mess. Beat was resigned to the fact that he would always be that way. There was no helping him. How did you cure a curse, after all?

IF I HAD A HEART I COULD LOVE YOU

Asvor continued on, pulled across the plateau by forces unknown to her. In her currently state, she was blissfully unaware of almost everything - it wasn't that she was getting decrepit yet, but she was beginning to feel the wear and tear of time on her body. The stiffness that accompanied the coldest mornings wasn't something easily forgotten, but under the influence it was hard to dredge up those thoughts, not when her body felt blissfully numb.

Something caught her attention in the distance; even from her position, when he came into view, she could tell he was a scrawny youth. In her normal, sober state, she might not give him a second glance. A starving child wasn't her concern, even if she didn't necessarily enjoy his suffering. But it was hard to not relate to his apparent suffering - she wasn't starving in the physical sense but she was starved for something.

Slowly she redirected herself toward him, alarmed at how much effort it felt like it took. Jormungandr coiled a bit tighter around her leg, positioning herself so she could get a better look at Beat as Asvor made the painstaking journey to close the distance between the two of them. The viper hissed softly, tongue lashing out at the air, as Asvor cleared her throat. "You look like hell," Asvor stated, as matter-of-factly as if she had been stating that the sky was blue. "Aren't you too young to be exploring a place like this all on your own?" Perhaps in the past her words would've had a more sinister tone to them, but time had changed her - she was more introverted now, less likely to probe at a stranger for her own fun, especially in her current state. Now, she was simply curious, cocking an eyebrow as she took a few long steps closer.

IF I HAD A VOICE I WOULD SING

A shape began coming towards him and he just didn't care. It could have been a bear for all he knew and he just couldn't make himself care. The child was so despondent, so removed from the real world, that his sense of self preservation had taken a back seat. It was only when the shape began to speak that he looked up from the ground between his paws. Swirled teal and lavender eyes looked upon the woman with little feeling. He looked like hell? Beat gave a shrug, his spire like shoulder blade lifting and falling.

What did she want from him? He wasn't anything special to make a stop for. The question that followed made him feel that maybe she was concerned for him. Bad idea. She would end up dead like the rest. "I just wanted to walk." With a shake of his head, he began to walk again, giving the woman a wide berth as he walked around her. "You should stay away from me. I'm cursed. You'll end up dead." His depression was thick as bricks and was blatantly obvious. He lowered his head again and began walking once more.

IF I HAD A HEART I COULD LOVE YOU

Perhaps the drugs were beginning to wear off. Slowly she felt her limbs becoming more grounded, as if some overwhelming force was dragging her legs down to the earth in an unnatural way, though it was still hard to fully focus on what was in front of it. It took her a long moment to really process what the boy before he looked like, squinting hard and trying to make out his features as he noticed her and began to speak. He didn't seem to take offense to her words - in fact, he shrugged them off entirely - and warned her to stay away from her, saying that he was cursed.

Of course, that threat hardly scared her. If anything, it intrigued her, and she found herself grinning slightly. "Death doesn't scare me," she assured the boy quickly, feeling a slight grin begin to creep over her lips. "And I think we're all a little cursed, in a way. Some.. perhaps more than others." Surely the Finnvi family hadn't quite lived up to the ideals of their gods, and they'd suffered for it - she'd never seen the fame and glory that she'd dreamt of as a child, which she supposed was a curse in itself.

"You're aware you're a mortal like the rest of us, right? You can't really think everyone around you dies. Only the gods have that kind of power." She'd dabbled in her own interests, and she'd begun to be fascinated with the grey area between life and death, and how easily she could concoct things that might kill another wolf. But it was all science, all part of the natural world, not some foolish curse, though he certainly sounded convinced. She raised a brow, wondering. "So what's your name, anyway? Might as well know that if you're doomed to be the death of me." Asvor wasn't smiling, but her voice had a faintly saccharine tone to it. Even her snake companion seemed intrigued, uncoiling slightly to get a better look at Beat, tongue briefing slipping from his mouth to taste his scent on the air.

IF I HAD A VOICE I WOULD SING

She was strange, this woman. The way that she moved, the look in her eye. Beat wondered if there was something wrong with her. Was she sick? Had she already caught the curse? Words flew from the lady's mouth and Beat's brow furrowed slightly. Everyone was cursed? Did everyone's family die when they came close to them? No. His did though.

Her next words brought the boy's dirtied pelt to bristling. They were accusatory words. How could she even begin to understand? His gaze narrowed as she spoke. She believed in gods? That might explain a few things. Beat... did not. The gods had never done anything for him other than ignore his pain and suffering. He was a child. Children were supposed to be happy and carefree. The black and white boy was anything but. As he stood, the woman's words sliced into him. Yes, he did know that he was mortal. And yes, he knew that he killed those around him. There was no changing that certainty in him.

She continued to poke fun at him but asked his name in the process. A heavy sigh pulled from the boys chest, prominent rib cage rising and falling. "Beat." His head dropped in a defeated, dejected manner. He truly was a mess. How could he ever expect anyone to understand? He should just stop telling people about the curse. The child's haunches folded and he lowered himself to the ground. He was tired. Tired of everything.

It was a shame he seemed so bothered by his supposed curse. It wasn't the sort of thing Asvor thought did anyone any good to dwell on for very long, and she knew plenty of things that would help take a wolf's mind off such things. It was one of her own ways of coping. More than once she'd wondered if she ought to open up to Valdis about her own fears and worries, but it seemed an unnecessary burden to lay on her when she had more than enough to occupy her mind.

Either way, this boy didn't seem as though he really believed what she was saying. Once she might've gotten defensive over his disbelief but she was too old to care now, and she merely shrugged, indifferent despite his standoffish demeanor. "I'm Asvor," she introduced herself freely. A small shrug of her shoulders forced her snake companion to shift from her position, no longer coiled quickly as tightly around her neck now. "And her name's Jormungandr. Not much of a talker, I'm afraid," Asvor chuckled lowly, shaking her head. Occasionally she got a few simple words out of the viper but those times were few and far between, especially in the presence of strangers.

She raised a brow as she got a better look at him, deciding that he most definitely looked like utter hell, but reminding him of that wouldn't do much good - not if he was fully aware of it in the first place and resigned to doing absolutely nothing about it. "Here," she suggested lightly after a moment, and as if on command Jormungandr uncoiled even further, dropping something to Asvor's side in the process. Asvor leaned down to nose the small cluster of dried mushrooms, sniffing gingerly at the few that remained before carefully picking one piece up between her front teeth and swallowing it down, wincing slightly at the earthen taste. "Help yourself. It'll most likely make you feel better. Or, at the very least, make you forget all about that curse of yours for a few minutes. I'd start small though." Or.. maybe he'd have a particularly bad trip and the curse would feel even more real, more threatening and overwhelming, but there was no real way to tell and the truth was that she didn't care either way, not really.

Beat gave his name and the woman gave hers in turn. Asvor. The dirty boy accepted it with a nod, and then gave the woman's serpentine companion a nod as well. He'd been taught to be kind to companions, not that it would have crossed his mind to be otherwise. "Good to meet you both." He remembered his manners, even though he was in such a sorry state. The seated childling was getting a little uncomfortable. This was more time than he'd spent around another wolf in a long, long while.

The two-toned youngling was just getting ready to make excuses and leave when the woman spoke again, shaking a few items out onto the ground between them. Her words instantly intrigued him. Make him better or at least make him forget? The woman scooped one of the dried mushrooms into her own maw and Beat moved forward to do the same. He was eager to try anything that might fix him. So eager that, before she said 'start small' he'd already chomped and swallowed two caps and a stem.

Sitting back, Beat wrinkled his nose at the pungeant, earthy taste. It seemed to stick to his entire mouth and was anything but pleasant. Nose still wrinkled, he questioned the woman. "How is this going to help? What's it supposed to do? How long until it works?" His excitement was obvious. He'd been suffering for quite a long time. A long time for a child, at least. With eager, teal and purple eyes, he stared at the woman and her snake, hoping for answers.

Perhaps in her younger years she might've been more cognizant of another wolf's discomfort, but now she found it hard to focus on much outside of her own immediate companions. Everyone else was temporal, impermanent - why waste her energy? That was the same reason that she didn't bother with the amount of mischief she might've been comfortable with as a child. "It's a pleasure as well," Asvor grinned faintly, though her expression grew slightly more serious as she revealed her small stash of mushrooms and consumed one without hesitation.

The woman raised a brow at how quickly he consumed his - not just a small piece, but a few - unsure whether to be impressed with him, or annoyed with how much of her stash he'd just eaten. I'll always find more, she reminded herself, though after the volcano's eruption it seemed plant growth around here had been stunted and unusual, and she worried she might not replenish her stash as quickly as she hoped. But no use crying over it now when she'd offered without giving him any real rules, right?

She let out a laugh at his question. "It might do more harm than good with how much you just ate, but it's hard to say. If you're anything like me, though, it'll make you feel... free. Like you're a bird soaring over the world, weightless," her eyes widened, shining with amusement at the thought of seeing how he reacted to the mushrooms. "Just try to remember who you are, and where you are. And if you start feeling like you're spiraling out of control, find somewhere safe to sleep it off," if he could sleep at all if things started to get out of control. The older woman shrugged, knowing the answers would come in time to him, she couldn't accurately predict how his trip would go. "It'll shouldn't be too long. Especially if your stomach is empty," he offered, and.. judging by his appearance, she doubted he'd eaten much in a long while.

The boy stared at her, tight lipped. It might be bad for him? Why hadn't she told him how much to eat?! Why hadn't she just put enough out for him?! Panic began to edge its way into the child and his thin frame began to shake. He didn't understand so much about what was to happen, but he was hopeful that it would help him.

Beat listened to the instructions. Feel free. If it's bad, try to sleep. He thought he understood that part. Things should happen quickly if his stomach was empty, which it was. When had he last eaten? What had he last eaten? Beat sat and waited. How long would this take? How long had they been waiting?

The black and white pup raised his face to ask Asvor how much longer he would have to wait. His vision rippled like waves in a pond and his eyes widened. What was happening? "I don't..." He started to speak, but his voice sounded low and rumbly. This brought an instant laugh from the boy, but the laugh was so sharp that it hurt his ears and he winced, pulling in on himself. That was weird. He wasn't sure that he liked that part. Again he tried to look at the earthen woman but she had disappeared. There was a tree where she once stood. "Aaaaaasvor? Where diiid you go?" Beat asked the air, still unsure of his voice.