Losing her mom was so hard. Poem at the same time was consumed by the thoughts of loss and desperate to be rid of them. In the hours and days following the news Poem had spent as much time with her sister and father as she could, they were all similarly broken and showed this in different ways. Their family was never going to be the same again, and the weight of sorrow pushed Poem lower than she had ever experienced. Her childhood was officially over, and her adult life was quickly sweeping her up and away.

Being back in Abaven lands, even if it was horribly temporary, was the one good thing. She had Motif back beside her, but she wanted her mother. She left Rhyme and Motif sleeping, needing to get some air and collect her thoughts alone. In a few days she would need to return to Ashen and live out the rest of her debt to the Warlord. She hated leaving her family, but had to be thankful for the time she was allowed.

Poem sighed heavily as her tall form walked the ashen borders of Abaven, her thoughts on a time when she paced these same paths with Shaye. Tears fell freely from her eyes as she quietly mourned her mother alone.

She hardly slept these days. The volcano still lurked on the horizon, spitting ash ominously into the sky. Theory had hoped that relocating partially into their lands might help soothe her but the sight of the volcano just turned her stomach. She didn't share her feelings with anyone, not even Rhyme, but every day she spend back in their old lands aged her a month. It was hard not to stew in her feelings.

Patrolling was at least a good use of her time. Tracking the familiar pathways on the outskirts of their lands brought her some vague sense of relief, if only because the muscle memory was so familiar that she could turn her brain off completely. Catching wind of a familiar scent, Theory followed it straight to Poem. She had kept her distance from her sister since she'd arrived, trying to give her and Motif privacy and time to grieve in their own way. As much as she wanted to lean hard on brave Poem, she was alpha now. Leaning on someone else wouldn't do.

"Oh, Poem," she sighed, her greeting full to the brim with unspoken emotions. Theo rushed to close the distance and covered Poem in affection gestures. She ran her cheek endlessly across her sister's ruff, breathing in her familiar scent. It was a bittersweet smell; there was no mistaking her for Shaye's daughter when they were this close. "I missed you so much."

Poem hadn’t seen much of anyone really, she was with Motif or Rhyme or she lingered over her mother’s grave. Saying goodbye was difficult and unfair. The girls should have been given much more time with their beloved mother. Though the yearling couldn’t regret any of the time spent seeking out her sister she wished desperately that she had made it back before the accident happened. She hated that she would never see her family together again.

Tears flowed freely from her cheeks as she paced slowly along the border, but dark ears would perk at the sound of the emotional voice. Blue and lavender eyes fell easily upon her sister, who was sole alpha now and dealing with the loss of her second mother. Poem couldn’t imagine the pain was any easier than Tana’s loss. Poem whimpered softly as her frame was wracked with sobs. She didn’t try to control her emotions, she could mourn with Theory.

She held tightly to her sister as she closed the distance and pressed herself against her sister. ”I’ve missed you too, Theo.” She didn’t hesitate to return the words, however unintelligible they might be through her crying. Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but this one was raw and devastating. This was not how she ever wanted to be reunited.

Theory gulped air like she was drowning. She'd spent so long staying upright and brave for Abaven that the release of finally falling apart in front of someone she knew that she could trust was almost overwhelming. All of her grief spilled out at once in an unconquerable wave. She clung to Poem like a life raft in turbulent waters - it was the only thing she could do to keep her head above her own torrential emotions.

"I'm so glad you've come back. Please, you and Mo have to help me. I need a secondary... I need a lead diplomat... I need my sisters," she sniffed, trying to clear her head so that she could make her request clearly through the tears. She was getting by - learning was always fast when it was trial by fire - but she could use the support of her siblings now more than ever. Of course, she didn't know what had transpired when Poem was away or the terrible bargain she'd made for Motif's freedom. All she wanted was her sisters close and life back to normal - or as normal as it could get.

Theo kept as much control of herself as Poem did, which wasn’t. The girls cried and held tightly to each other as grief and sorrow settled over their tall frames. Tears fell in abundance as Shaye’s presence was horribly missed. Poem still didn’t want to believe it was true, her mother was gone. Ripped away and there was nothing she could do about it.

She hadn’t thought much about Sirius and the Armada until Theory spoke pleadingly with her. Dealing with death was difficult enough, and she had yet to tell her sister how it was Motif was returned, and what was expected of her. She had to return eventually, even though it hurt to do so. She didn’t want to do this now, and really didn’t want to at all, but she’d made a deal.

Reluctantly she pulled away from her sister, tears still flowing and her heart aching. ”Theory…” She tried to find her sibling’s gaze, to share with her all of the emotions, and trials, and misfortune between them. ”I’ve done something terrible.” She obviously hadn’t caught the pack scent upon her. She sighed heavily and with shame. ”Motif was being held captive.” As they had suspected. ”I tried my hardest to fight for her, I should have waited for Tato, I should have called for someone’s help..” She hadn’t been strong enough. She had failed. ”I lost, the only reason we’re here now is because he was willing to make a deal.”

Her words were interrupted by sobs and hiccups as she explained with obvious regret and more heartbreaking sorrow. ”I traded places with Motif, I’m serving in her stead for a year.” Only slightly less than a year at this point, but it was still too long. She should have been here with Theory. With her family, and where her mother had wished to see her stand. Shaye would have been so disappointed..

Her blood chilled. An entire year without Poem, who was like her front left leg? She couldn't believe it. "Oh, Poem..." she croaked. How many tears could they cry before their grief abated? Theory closed her eyes tightly, pressing her head into the hollow beneath Poem's chin. She was struggling to breathe. Slowly she focused on her bodily functions, listening to her own heart beat and counting out her breaths. It took some time but she was able to return to reality after a few moments - even if she wished this reality would shatter like a night terror, revealing that it was all a cruel trick.

"I can't lose you again," she said earnestly, even as she knew that her sister couldn't break her word. Poem wouldn't make a deal that she didn't intend on keeping... and the kind of wolf who would do this to her sisters certainly had some creative ideas regarding punishment and retribution. It was vital that Poem held up her end of the bargain, probably for the welfare of the entire pack. Theo wished things were simpler. In a different lifetime they could just run away, but with Shaye's passing and the mantle of Abaven heavy on her shoulders, there was no escaping for either of them. "Did they hurt either of you?" she asked, her eyes flashing briefly with an immutable fury. Did she even want to know the truth? It wasn't like she could abandon the pack and crusade across Boreas in their name. They had responsibilities now.

”I know..” She offered back, equally full of regret. How could she leave Abaven like this when she was needed? All she could do was hold tightly to her sister, regret flowing through her veins. If only she had been stronger. ”I don’t want to go.” She whispered, her voice filled with the emotions that warred inside of her. She didn’t want to have to leave, but there was no telling what the Warlord might decide to do if she didn’t come back. He hadn’t threatened her, but not knowing was almost worse.

”Motif is mostly okay, shaken up. She’s been blaming herself for…” Poem choked, unable to even say the words mom’s death. She sobbed again softly, her throat swelling and eyes filling with tears. ”He’s been training me.” She finally managed. ”Any damage I’ve sustained so far has been because he doesn’t pull his punches.” There weren’t any real wounds visible on her now, but he’d battered and bruised her more than once. The only consolation was that she let his blood as well. ”The hurt to my soul is worse.” She whispered, being held back from her family when they needed her so badly… Her heart was breaking because of it.

Thoery closed her eyes and tried to push the tears down deep. Poem was suffering so much, she didn't want to lay her own burden at her sister's feet. One of them had to be strong right now, even if it was only pretend. Theo pressed her forehead hard against Poem's, nuzzling her sister's face briefly. "After this, will you be allowed to visit?" Theory didn't think her heart could take it if Poem was going to be sequestered for the rest of the year. Would she be able to make social calls? Even if not as an alpha... just as her sister. She didn't want to complicate Poem's situation by adding unnecessary tension.

"Well, I guess you'll have to show me what you learn when you come home," Theo said hoarsely, putting additional emphasis on the word home. This was where Poem belonged. Together they could stand vigil with Motif next year at Shaye's grave once a year had elapsed. "And... it's no one's fault," she added fiercely. Shaye's death was unavoidable, even if she wished that the powers that be had chosen an easier fate. Why couldn't she die quietly in her sleep? Late at night Theory pictured her struggling underground, gasping for breath and finding only dirt. The alpha hadn't slept a full night in weeks.

”I hope so. I know if I beat him that my prize would be a visit.” If she learned enough, and trained hard, she could defeat the scar marked titan. She knew she could, she had to. Poem needed to take every opportunity to return and be with her family. Especially now after the awful loss suffered. She hated that her mother was gone, despised the way she was forced to go. And more, she was disappointed in herself for failing to come back. For not getting to say her goodbye. ”I will.” The girl assured her sister quietly, everything she learned in the next year she would teach her sibling. ”I know..” There was no preventing the accident, but Poem still wished she had come home faster and hadn’t been the casualty in Motif’s return. She’d failed to make her family whole before its heart was ripped away. ”You’ll have to look after her for me.” Poem admitted with sorrow. Their sister was going to need real support.

Prize? This warlord that had captured Poem seemed cruel, but Theory hoped at the very least his rules would be upheld. There was nothing more despicable than someone who couldn't stick to their own moral code. If he was a bastard, very well. Hopefully he at least had scruples. "I'll look forward to that visit," Theory replied emphatically, nosing Poem's cheek with all the affection she could muster. "I have to look after Rhyme, too," Theo added, unable to keep an undercurrent of bitterness out of her joke. It was hard to stay positive in the face of so much turmoil and tragedy - but she had to. She had to be strong for Rhyme and Motif and all of Abaven.

"I'll manage," she insisted, cracking a weary smile. "I'm hoping that teaching me some healing arts will keep him occupied. His mind seems to wander these days." Maybe if he taught her enough, she could cure his delusions - or at least try to ground him in reality most of the time. "How long can you stay this time?" Theory asked. There would be more visits after this. There had to be.

Poem suffered greatly knowing that she couldn’t be here for her family during the lowest times of their lives. She wanted her mother to lean on, she wanted to be a pup again hiding in Shaye’s fur instead of facing the cruel world outside. She knew the deep pain in her heart would never release, but maybe one day the sharpness would dull into a manageable ache.

Theory had to take on so much more than anyone ever intended. Poem felt horrible for not being able to be with her sisters, for not being able to support them in their greatest time of need. For the accident that stole away her mother. ”I’ve never seen him so hurt,” she offered much more somberly than Theory. She couldn’t bring herself to add to the humor, Pom still hurt too badly. ”I’m glad you found something to help him.” She mused, what would they do if they lost their father too?

”A couple of weeks. I don’t want to strain my leash and cause more problems.” The last thing she wanted was to cause her sister more strife right now. She had enough to deal with. ”I’ll work hard to come back. I hate leaving you like this.” Her words remained sorrowful and filled with regret. If she had only been stronger what could she have prevented? Would Shaye still be alive? What if she had been here, welcoming her and Motif back home instead of on that terrible cliff? Poem sniffled back her harsh tears. She didn’t think she would ever cease mourning her loss.

"I know you'll come home," she said earnestly and without any trace of doubt. No matter what this strange titan would do to her sister, Poem would persevere. They were all made of stronger stuff than anyone had figured. They were strong and resilient because they had to me. She closed her eyes slowly once more and pressed her cheek against Poem's for a long time. Who knew when they would have time to be alone again? It wouldn't be fair for her to reveal her vulnerabilities to the rest of the pack. This time with Poem was her own quiet respite. There were certain expectations that she had to uphold for the sake of Abaven, especially for its younger members. When they looked back on their youth she wanted them to remember this time as one of safety. She couldn't erase their fears and worries completely, but she wanted them to believe in their alpha and the rest of their pack. They would be comforted and unafraid. "Promise me that you'll be safe and send word if something seems amiss," she insisted. Theory would spend every free moment thinking about her sister until she was home again.

"In the mean time... let's take a walk. I want to show you where else we are besides the plains. Fontamo Bay and Ibis Islands have been claimed in our name. I like the bay," she admitted, nudging Poem's shoulder as she stood up and stretched before setting off at a leisurely pace. "The sound of the ocean is almost like the rapids when we were young. Just a different tempo."