It had been a while since Saren had been near pack lands. Shortly after his parents left Risen he left as well, he took them leaving as a sign. He was old enough to feed himself and as much as it hurt to leave the life he had been slowly developing behind it was time for him to see what was out there. So he left, he said goodbye and left.

Now he was back, back at the edge of the pack he had been a part of for his first year of life. It wasn’t where it used to be though. Once he had decided to return it took him a couple of days to follow the scent back up from Auster. Now he stood staring into what he assumed were the new packlands. Maybe it was symbolic, he had left behind one thing and now he was starting another.

In the time he had spent away he had gone on a mental journey he had grown up a little and discovered more about himself. Perhaps he had discovered a little bit of confidence, he always did envy the confidence he saw his sister had. Thalia was a girl who knew what she wanted, that was for sure.

As Saren looked over the land he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to be bold about his presence. Maybe it wasn’t time yet, maybe they wouldn’t want him back. Saren was different from a lot of the Abraxas after all. He found himself with a sudden hint of hesitation that wasn’t expected, he had been so certain when he was searching for the pack but now that he was here he wasn’t quite so sure. So there he sat a young man unsure whether to take the next step in his life.

It'd been a long while since Thalia had seen either of her brothers. Dion had been gone even longer than Saren, but she thought of them frequently, despite the way each of their departures had impacted her. She'd been closer to Dion as a child, but as she'd gotten older she'd grown to realize she had more in common with Saren than she originally thought. His disappearance had stung, but in some ways she thought she'd prepared herself for it - first her other brother, and then her siblings, and then the rest of her family that had left after the volcano's eruption.

She'd grown used to being alone. Not in the grand scheme of things - she had Aerie, and some of her family left here - but in a more... day-to-day way. While she had once been content to stay close to her family, now she'd grown used to spending most of her time on her own. While it wasn't exactly preferable, she'd grown used to the solitude of her daily existence.

That was why coming across Saren's scent alarmed her, at least initially. She was nearing the borders of their lake territory when a light breeze whisked over the lake and carried his scent straight forward her. Thalia wasn't quite sure how she felt at first. He was back - but why? Visible curiosity touched her features as she slowly meandered toward where his scent had come from. but it had mostly faded by the time he came into view, replaced by a largely unreadable neutral expression. "Saren," she greeted him finally, once he was within earshot. "What brings you here?" She wasn't interested in rekindling a bond between them if he planned to leave again, and the way she spoke to him - guarded and wary - made that apparent.

Saren’s eyes were naturally drawn towards his sister as she approached. Thalia, he would be lying if he told himself he hadn’t thought of her while he was away. There wasn’t much in this world he was attached to, but his sister wasn’t someone he would easily forget. As she got close enough to him he resisted the urge to go right up and nuzzle her, he wasn’t sure if she would appreciate it or not.

When asked what had brought him here Saren smiled sheepishly before answering “You.” He let the word sit for a few seconds before quickly backtracking “I guess, in a way it was you. There were other things too but you were one of them.”

He wasn’t quite sure how he should feel that his sister had stayed with the pack when the rest of the family had dispersed to do different things. Given her free personality he was a little surprised she hadn’t gone off to do the same. Maybe he wouldn’t have left had he known that his sister would end up staying by herself. She had always been pretty head strong so he figured she must have been doing alright for herself either way.

She'd thought of him too, but those were merely thoughts - she wasn't going to be reckless, not when things were finally turning around for her. For the first time in awhile, she felt good. Maybe not great, but... her life was changing in a meaningful way and she wanted to continue to better herself, at all costs. Regardless of who stuck around in her life. And until she was completely sure Saren was here to stay, she wasn't about to count on this being anything more than a passing encounter.

Yet - he said it was her that had brought him back. "Is that so?" Thalia asked, still sounding tentative, after a moment of thought. Thalia was never the most eloquent speaker but suddenly words seemed even harder than usual to grasp. "Have you been enjoying your time away?" Her voice had a sharp edge to it that she tried to soften, albeit unsuccessfully. She wasn't impressed that her parents had left, nor that her brothers had either, regardless of their reasoning. But he was back now, and that was more than could be said for Dion.

He supposed it was right for Thalia to be a bit hesitant about his coming back, he hadn’t really warned anyone about his leaving. He had always figured he’d come back, but the longer he spent away the harder it was to return. Saren knew that his softer personality was an odd one when it came to his family and members of the pack and it was that reason that made him hesitant about returning. In all truth it was Thalia that brought him back. He enjoyed his time making discoveries and learning, but he wasn’t necessarily social during that time either. There wasn’t anything tying him down out there, he didn’t make any close friends or enemies he was just there looking at it all. Thalia was the only wolf he had ever established any sort of connection with. His brother was absent for the most part of their pup days, he hid from anyone else for fear of being dragged into things he didn’t want, and his parents while they were okay were still parents that he didn’t know what to do with. Thalia for whatever reason had bothered him enough that he developed an opinion about them, which was more than he could say for anyone else. “My time away wasn’t particularly exciting, i went away, traveled some places, looked at and experimented with some plants. It was educational at best, but I wouldn’t call it fun. It’s a bit hard to have fun when it’s just yourself.” He took a moment to consider Thalia’s wording had he been enjoying his time away, not did he enjoy his time away? “The way you asked that sounds like i’m still going away, i’ve come back…at least i want to, if the pack will accept me back.” His eyes trailed down towards his paws during those words, the pack accepting him back was something he didn’t know would happen. With all he’d contributed which wasn’t much of anything he didn’t have high hopes. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and return to the matter at hand he said “I’m not going to come find the pack only to leave again, i followed the scent all the way up from Auster, i didn’t come back for a casual visit. There’s not many people here who would care about me doing that anyways.”

Thalia was always hesitant, especially regarding things like... this. Family coming and going wasn't something that settled well with her, even if the wolf in question was her own brother. Though she was doubtful, at the same time she was hopeful that he'd prove her wrong and stick around for longer than she feared he would. Only time would tell. But until then? It was the least she could do to hear him out. He admitted his time away hadn't been exciting - mostly focused on traveling and his plants, something she'd never had any interest in herself. She was genuinely glad that he'd found something that interested him, though.

"I have no doubt Eligos will be pleased to welcome you back. Though he might have questions," Thalia informed him, trying not to sound too combative. She was grateful he was home, she truly was, but at the same time she was wary to open up to him too much, at least right away. "He's our leader now. Malleus is no longer with us." Thalia viewed his death in a different light than some of the other Abraxas did, she knew that for sure, and she wasn't about to spew off what she thought to Saren... not yet, not unless he pressed her. "I'm sure you weren't so far away that you didn't notice the eruption?"

It was difficult to loosen up and attempt to rid her voice of its hard edge. She was grateful to see him - truly, honestly - but wearing her heart on her sleeve wasn't something this Abraxas ever did. "I'm glad to see you again, Saren. And I do hope you stay." I've missed you, she wished so badly she could say, but the thought seemed to linger in her mind and never quite reach her tongue, let alone come to fruition.

Saren had expected questions, he had figured that he couldn’t just leave and come back without anyone wondering why and what for. He didn’t necessarily know how to react to hearing about Malleus’s death or disappearance, no longer with us didn’t always mean death. He hadn’t had many personal interactions with the past alpha or the current one for that matter. Sure he knew about Malleus, but as a pup involving himself in pack politics wasn’t his primary concern one way or another. Surely he had noticed the eruption, the effects of that reached even the very outskirts of the land. He had tried his best to stay safe and avoid any places of major danger. No doubt though that later in his life he might suffer whatever the effects of smoke inhalation were. Saren was pleased to hear that his sister was glad to see him, he hoped he stayed as well. He had no intentions of leaving right away but one could never tell what the future had in store. “Well I’m sorry that Malleus died, I’m assuming he died in the eruption since you brought it up. I didn’t know much about him so I can’t say I feel anything about it.” Saren felt like he should have some reaction to the news but he didn’t, he didn’t quite know how to have intense feelings for someone he had never truly known. “I suppose I’ll have to find Eligos and explain to him what I did, who knows how that’ll go.” He added a slight nervous chuckle at the end, he was not looking forward to speaking to an alpha about his travels. Looking directly at Thalia he said “I hope I stay too.” Before stepping closer to her so he could gently head butt her in the chest, she was taller than him after all.

Saren had changed, at least from what Thalia could tell. No longer was he the meek, shy boy he'd once been - though he'd come out of his shell a bit when they'd been taken to the Firefly Festival with their father. And though she had no doubt the changes were good for him, she wasn't completely sure how she felt about them herself, especially as he began to speak. Why would he even bother voicing that he didn't feel anything for Malleus's death? He was family, and he'd been loyal to their God even despite any of his faults - had he not? It was Malleus that had led them through their youngest days, even if they had only been children. At the very least, Saren should've been grateful for that, at least enough to keep his thoughts to himself.

Her nose wrinkled in slight disdain. "I was merely telling you. No reaction is needed," Thalia informed him, her words chosen carefully. "And I'm sure he will be open to accepting you back." Everything had been weird since the eruption.. and even a bit before, if she was being honest. Many wolves had strayed from their group but she had no doubt those who could prove their loyalty to the Abraxas would be welcomed back.

Though some of the hardness had returned to her voice, Saren still moved forward to bump his head into her chest and she froze - leaning only briefly into him before pulling back. The touch was light, but meaningful, despite the thoughts whirling inside her head. The only thing that seemed capable of breaking her thoughts was the reminder that he wasn't a member of the pack quite yet, and that calling Eligos sounded like a good idea; and why not now? Tipping her head back, she finally let loose a call for him, hoping he was nearby. She had a feeling that Saren's chances of joining his family might be higher if she were here by his side, vouching for him.

The call came while he was patrolling, the malinois puppies trailing behind. Thalia, calling him to come to the border. His ears pricked in interest, and he changed his path to take him at a lope towards the call. The increased pace left the shorter-legged pups far behind, but they'd either catch up later or find someplace to play or someone to harass. He had no intention of keeping Thalia waiting on what could be a matter of importance.

Thalia waited for him there accompanied by another yearling. Eligos gave him a penetrating study a moment before turning his attention to Thalia. While there wasn't a great deal of physical resemblance between her and the newcomer, Eli vaguely recalled the boy as being one of her missing littermates, but he gave no sign of recognition. "Good day, Thalia," he said instead, giving his cousin his attention. "What can I do for you?" While he could surmise the reason behind the summons, he saw no reason to give the boy the benefit of immediate acknowledgement when he'd shown a marked lack of loyalty already.

Thalia, on the other hand, earned a rare smile of encouragement and gratitude for having acted as she had - calling for him on the border rather than inviting someone in, family or not. It was exactly as was expected and needn't have required notice, but he wanted to encourage the pack to continue in that manner. Simply being birthed from the loins of an Abraxas would no longer serve to make one worthy of being an Abraxas. Let them earn their place, as they had long ago been expected to.

Saren did his best to look presentable, Thalia had called for the alpha and he couldn’t risk them coming to see him looking like he was lounging around. He straightened his back and held his head up high while doing his best not to nervously fidget. Thalia’s note of confidence in his acceptance didn’t help as much as he wished it did. Regardless he still didn’t know much about Eligos and he knew their family at large wasn’t known as the nicest. He wanted to return and do what he could, but that could only happen if he was given a chance. Eligos had arrived and Saren’s eyes followed the male. He addressed Thalia and barely acknowledged Saren. The lack of acknowledgement didn’t make Saren’s nerves any calmer. He took that not having been spoken to meant that he shouldn’t say anything, which under normal circumstances would have been fine. In this particular circumstance though Saren wanted the chance to say his piece. He trusted Thalia since the alpha clearly knew her, but he didn’t trust her to know exactly everything that was going on in his mind at the moment.

Words suddenly seemed more difficult, Thalia not quite sure what to say to fill the silence between her and her brother. But Eligos didn't leave them waiting long, and Thalia's expression lightened when he arrived, offering him  a polite dip of her head in greeting. "Afternoon, Eligos," she returned his greeting before lifting her head and standing a bit taller. The rare smile that suddenly appeared on Eligos's features both surprised her and pleased her. She was loyal and would prove that to Eligos, Thalia had vowed that. Her devotion to her family and her God would withstand any amount of questioning or probing - she wasn't the least bit worried about that.

"This is my brother, Saren. He wants another chance here." For a moment she wondered if Saren would agree with that explanation, but it seemed reasonable enough to her. He had abandoned them, whether or not he liked to look at it that way. He'd seemed apologetic for leaving but still she feared Eligos might not accept his explanation. "He's learned a lot since he's been gone, and I think he feels as though he's ready to properly return to us." An Abraxas that felt directionless or stifled was of no use to the pack, and now that her brother had found himself she hoped he might be welcomed home again - she trusted he meant it when he said he wanted to stay.

As Thalia spoke, directing his attention to the boy, Eligos turned his head to quietly study him. "Is this so?" he queried gently. Gently, though a hint of cold beneath the gentleness warned against speaking thoughtlessly. "You have told your sister you've learned much in your absence. Tell me, Saren, what brought a child to leave his family behind without a word. Tell me what you have learned, and how you will seek to use that knowledge to better Aerie. Tell me, Saren, if you are ready to truly give your loyalty to your family, and earn your place among us." Despite the harshness of the words themselves, he spoke softly and did not sound angry, because he wasn't. People made mistakes, bad decisions, and deserved the chance to redeem themselves. But Saren needed to understand that leaving the pack and the family wasn't acceptable anymore. What he had done was wrong, and he had left Thalia to suffer not knowing where he was, if he lived or died, and possibly to wonder if it had been some fault of hers that had chased them away. What he had done to her was not acceptable.

When the male turned his attention onto Saren he could feel a sense of dryness fill his mouth. Saren hadn’t thought he’d be questioned exactly like this. He knew it wouldn’t be the easiest but he didn’t expect to be given the hard questions so fast. He had things figured out in his mind but he didn’t know if other people would understand his answers.

He hadn’t left his entire family behind, his parents had left them first. Their parents had left them on a sort of religious sabbatical from what he understood. Thalia was the only one he had truly left behind and even then he had told her. Unless Eligos was referring to his extended family and thus the pack at large. “I...I never left without saying anything, I told Thalia.” He quickly glanced over to look at her before looking back at Eligos. “and when I left our parents were already gone as well.”

“While I was gone I learnt about herbs and healing techniques.” He had learned a fair amount about what happened to a wolf when they ate certain plants, it wasn’t always pretty. “I can use my skills to help any sick wolves or those wounded in battle.” Saren while willing to help other wolves wasn’t exactly jumping at the chance to interact with strangers much less ones with a penchant for violence.

“I never questioned my loyalty to my family, I always intended to come back I just didn’t know how long it would take. I had to find myself by no longer having the chance to hide, I left so I could become stronger. For all of the people who needed me to be. I am willing to show you what I can do if given the chance, but know that it was never my intention to make people doubt my loyalty.” Saren hoped that what he had said would be enough. All of the words that he had said were true, he had left with a purpose. Saren wouldn’t have left without a reason he considered legitimate, he thought things through.

The truth was that Thalia wasn't completely sure Saren was ready to return, but she cared for her brother enough that she was willing to risk vouching for his reintegration here. He certainly seemed like he'd matured, though with time she supposed that was inevitable. If he proved her wrong, she'd apologize profusely to Eligos and do whatever she could to make amends. She wasn't at all unfamiliar with the ways of the older Abraxas, but she knew Eligos didn't believe in things such as cullings, and so the worst that could happen to her brother wasn't something she truly had to fear.

Thalia said nothing as Saren spoke up, letting him explain himself. She could only hope Eligos would believe her brother's words and would allow him into Aerie. They needed loyal followers, after all. She only swayed slightly where she stood, otherwise a picture of calm certainly, despite the slight anxiety beginning to bubble just below the surface. Now that she'd seen Saren again she was hopeful he'd be able to return, and that she'd feel like some of her immediate family was no longer gone, but the thought of his rejection from Eligos felt very close and real to her.

Eligos' gaze moved unwaveringly to Thalia. Watched her worried gaze between her brother and him. She'd been alone, more alone than he because while he'd chosen to stay to himself she had not, she had been left behind as her family drifted apart and away. And here her faithless brother was, returned to her, and she likely feared that he would be turned away and she would lose the only close family she had left. He weighed her happiness against the probability of Saren backsliding and leaving them again. Weighed her happiness against the possibility of a useless weight around Aerie's throat if he was not as reformed as he claimed.

"Aerie will not tolerate a wolf who will not contribute," he said carefully. "You may stay here if you are ready to pledge your loyalty and your life to your family and your pack. But if you do not prove yourself as an Aerie wolf, you will not be an Abraxas wolf any longer either." He turned abruptly, speaking over his shoulder. "There are caves in the ravine that can be used as dens, infirmaries, and caches. If you chose to den in the lakeland that is your business, but be aware that it is not as protected in the case of an attack and you may find yourself in trouble before we can protect you there. Get to know your packmates - be ready when I call them together." He nodded to Thalia, and with that he trotted away, back to his work.

Saren was ready and willing to work for Aerie. He knew that he was old enough that he couldn’t get away with doing nothing like he had as a pup and that he’d be expected to pull his own weight. That expectation was more than fair. What scared Saren about Eligos’s words were that if he failed he wouldn’t be an Abraxas wolf anymore. Saren didn’t know exactly what that entailed, but he didn’t understand how that would work. They couldn’t just take away his last name, that was his name and they couldn’t stop him from worshipping Abraxas either. Saren had no intention of letting anybody down, but the consequences for if he did were a little frightening.

Seeing that Eligos was leaving Saren waiting until he had gotten a fair distance away before letting the stress held in his body dissipate. He had been holding tension in his body and as he let it go his back legs gave and he found himself in a sitting position. Looking up at Thalia he laughed a little and said “So that was intense.” Saren was admittedly a little worn out from the interaction and it showed. “I’m glad I’ll be back with you though.” He smiled at his sister, the hard part was over. Now it was on to the simpler things like gathering herbs and setting up his den. Yes, those were much simpler tasks.

Though worried, and despite the fact that she couldn't quite conceal every bit of nervousness, she tried to remain calm. Having Saren home meant more than she cared to admit, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd be more whole with him home. Luckily Eligos seemed to believe him, or at the very least was willing to give him a try, and she felt an audible exhale as Eligos welcomed him back home. Though rarely very expressive at all, she felt a smile creeping onto her lips, the expression faint but noticeable, if but for a moment. Finally Eligos excused himself, and she allowed her shoulders to relax further, her attention shifting back toward Saren.

"Eligos is intense," she agreed carefully. He wasn't at all like their father, who was intense when he needed to be, but showed a significant amount of softness toward his children. It was hard to imagine Eligos as a father, and for a moment her thoughts drifted to Theory and the conversation they'd had about whether or not they wanted children. For her, it felt inevitable, and she wondered if Eligos felt the same as her. "But he means well for our family. It'll be alright."

It had to be, right? It sounded like she was trying to convince herself of that as much as she was trying to tell him. "You should take some time to get settled. My den's in the ravine if you need me." For now she needed some time to collect her thoughts, and she had no doubt Saren would benefit from the same. "I'm glad, too," Thalia added finally, allowing herself a brief moment before turning and heading to the ravine, away from Saren.

- exit Thalia -