They walked for quite a while, sharing bits of conversation as they neared Zee's home. At times she wondered what the woman was thinking, whether or not she was regretting accepting her invitation. While the warlord of the Armada had a reputation for ruthlessness, she doubted Tamsyn was aware of him. If she was, perhaps she wouldn't have let herself be led to the pack's lands. Zee had no ulterior motive and no intention to do any kidnapping, but that didn't mean she didn't understand hesitance. "Here we are." She said with a smile, looking over her shoulder towards Tamsyn. The worry of her son was still heavy on her mind, and it extended to the stranger. They made it to the communal area, and Zee settled herself down on one of the hide mats before the bonfire. It was nearing night, and she was happy for the warmth it provided. She grabbed some of the seared meat that was nearby, and gestured to the small pile with her nose to invite the woman to help herself. "So are you ready to tell me your story yet?" "Speech"

The longer they walked, the more comfortable Tamsyn felt around Zee, but in the back of her mind her fear of packs and groups of wolves still lingered. She just continued to remind herself of the promise Zee had made that this visit would just to be eat, tell her story, and rest - nothing more. Perhaps if Tamsyn were more optimistic then she could see this as an opportunity to see that packs were not all bad, but it was so difficult to get past the lingering bad taste that her last pack had left in her mouth. When they reached the border and Zee looked back at her with a smile, Tamsyn gave the woman a small smile in return even though a flutter of nervous butterflies set off in her stomach. No only was there the uncertainty over being within pack lands to deal with, but also the fact that she would also have to figure out how to tell a story that she’d never shared with anyone before.

Tam followed her guide though the lands till they reached a clearing with a fire going strong in the center of it. She glanced around curiously to take in her new surroundings, but continued to keep close to Zee just in case someone else were to approach her and question why she was here. She gratefully accepted the invitation to take some of the meat that was offered to her, picking a piece before settling down in front of Zee with the food between her paws. She took a few bites of the meal as she realized just how hungry she actually was. Eating was always something that fell to the way side in she was in one of her depressive swings and this time had been no different.

Her ears perked to listen to Zee’s words when she asked about telling her story, her mint gaze glancing up to meet Zee’s. With an uncertain pause she nodded and finished the last few bites of the meat she had in front of her before licking her lips clean and shifting a bit to lay more comfortably. There was a heavy pause as she gathered her thoughts and tried to figure out where to start. Her gaze lingered on her own paws for the most part as she spoke, but she would glance up at Zee occasionally as well.

”Part of the reason I said that I wasn’t sure if my story would really relate to your son’s was that I had always thought that my issues were a direct relation to my situation so I don’t truly remember when or how mine started.... It’s really only now that I’ve gotten away from it that I think it’s something more than that, but either way... The pack I was born in, if you can even call it that, had this religion or certain way of life they followed. My parents were both very dedicated to it. There was a guide that was loosely considered the leader of our pack and he gave all the direction on how we should be following this religion. The females and males had very different roles in this whole thing. The males were protectors, hunters, leaders... The females were mothers, followers, and care takers. We would help with larger hunts from time to time, but otherwise we were only meant to stay by the den and care for pups.”

”I apparently did not show these traits they wanted out of their females. I asked too many questions, I was too adventurous, I  wanted to go off on my own too much, I wanted to fight with the boys, I didn’t want to learn healing, I spoke up too much when I wasn’t being spoken to...” She hesitated, looking off into the distance. ”The leader scolded my father for not keeping me in line and that’s when my father started reprimanding me for every little thing. First it was just scolding and yelling, then it was hitting, then biting. When my brothers were old enough to be responsible for me as well they would do the same since they were to follow everything our father did. They kept their punishments mostly to my left leg so that the scars wouldn’t be visible too many places. Appearances were very important for females. We still needed to be pretty for the males. Eventually I just stopped talking altogether. I stopped leaving the den unless I was told to. They got what they wanted I guess.”

Her jaw tensed as the memories progressed with her story, feeling an anger that she wasn’t used to experiencing. It was really only now that she could look back on it with somewhat of a clear mind that she could see just how unfair it all was. At the time it had just seemed like part of life, but now that she was out in the world and could see that not everyone lived like that... ”When the females were old enough to take mates, the males got to take their pick of who they would like to take. Everyone knew my past so none of the males wanted me. Even the older males that still hadn’t gotten a mate for one reason or another thought I was more trouble than I was worth. My father tried to convince them, tried to make deals... No luck. He came to me one night after spending all day asking every available male be could find and... he was furious. He attacked me, grabbed me by the neck, threw me down, cursed me for ever behaving the way I had, and told me I had to leave that night. He was tired of dealing with me and I was banished from their family. I... I begged him to just kill me, but he wouldn’t do it... Murder was forbidden in their religion and he would rather send me out to die on my own than kill me himself...”

She blinked and realized tears had welled up in her eyes as she was speaking and she quickly wiped them away with her paw. ”I always thought back then that if I was able to get away maybe I’d feel better since I wouldn’t have to try and fit their mold, but... even now that I’ve been away from them for over a year I still just... I don’t want to deal with myself any more.”

Zee's focus remained set upon the woman for the entirety of the story, her gaze only drifting off of her face long enough to ensure that no pack members would wander over to interrupt Tamsyn or make the she-wolf more uncomfortable then she already was. As she listened she found herself empathizing more and more. She did nothing to hide the expression upon her face that showed how very sorry she was.

After her long-winded story was finished, Zee offered her a sad apologetic smile. There was no doubt in her mind that it was a difficult life to live, and Zee was not entirely blind to the lifestyle she described. She lived the live of a slave, once. It would be a time she'd never be able to forget. "I'm so sorry, Tamsyn." The queen said after a moment of silence.

She let the apology hang in the air for a beat, sighed heavily, and continued. "Although your story is different then my boy's, I can still gleam some understanding from it. For that, I thank you. I think the thing you both share is the thought that something is wrong with you, that this world would be better if you were not in it." Slim paws held the meat between them and she stared down at it, turning the chunk absentmindedly as she thought on the woman's story.

Zee's lips pressed into a thin line, not knowing how to express the feelings within her. "You're not alone, you know." Soft blue eyes lifted from the meat to pierce Tamsyn's own, willing her empathy to reach across them somehow. "I had what you'd call a normal life growing up, but I found my way into slavery as an adult. Only a year ago, in fact. It was hard." Thinking on her history was not easy, though it was even harder to find the line between how she felt about it. She'd hated her treatment as a slave in Ashen's Empire, though could not ignore how it'd shaped her life for the better. If she'd not found herself enslaved, she'd not be standing here a queen. "I know it's different, but in ways it's the same. I rose up, earned better for myself. You could, too."

Another heavy sigh, and another pause for thought. "Our pack, we've more than one wolf here who would describe themself broken. We look after them, my husband and I. We also train them to look after themselves." Zee's gaze softened, and she cleared her throat. The pair had their meal in the communal area of the pack, where around them lay vacant dens for visitors or those who hadn't decided yet to move.

She gestured with her muzzle towards a few of the den entrances visible in the low-light. "You can stay the night in any of those, they're empty. No one will bother you, I promise. You're safe here, for as long as you choose to be." Zee let the offer go unspoken, recognizing the she-wolf's hesitance and not willing to push her on it. If she decided now or a season from now that she seeked the comfort of a pack, the Armada could be a safe place for her.

Tamsyn felt completely unaware of the silence that hung around them in the beats after her story was finished. Her eyes were fixed on her paws with her ears folded back. In a way it had been therapeutic to pour her story out into the open for the kind woman to hear. It was almost as if she was hearing the story for the first time herself even though she had lived though it. Everything sounded different out loud in her own ears rather than just echoing in her own skull. Anger was a new reaction for her - anger toward her family for causing her this pain, anger at herself for being too broken to understand how to fix herself, anger at the path that life had given her. She wanted to be better, but she just didn’t know how.

At Zee’s apology Tamsyn lifted her eyes to find hers again, but she didn’t respond other than to give a small, appreciative nod. She didn’t really expect much of a response after everything that she just laid out in front of her so an apology was enough. Her ears lifted to listen as Zee continued, giving the woman the same attention that had been given to her while she told her story. ”...the thought that something is wrong with you, that this world would be better if you were not in it.” That is how she felt, wasn’t it? She had never seen any point or worth in her life so she couldn’t understand what impact or positive change she could possibly have by remaining alive. But her son... he was so young and had such a wonderful mother looking out for him. He had all the opportunity to get the help he needed and for that she was grateful. She hadn’t even met this pup, but she was so worried for him. She didn’t want anyone else to go though the feelings she felt.

Hearing how Zee had turned around the fate she had found herself in and how Tamsyn could supposedly do the same made her feel an odd mix of jealousy and doubt. To have that kind of certainty and drive felt so foreign to her. It was something she wanted and needed so badly, but it seemed so out of reach. She didn’t feel deserving of such a thing. The idea that this pack helped and trained broken wolves... it seemed too good to be true. Tamsyn kept waiting for the catch or the punch line, but it never came. It seemed so improbable that such a thing could exist considering the soul shattering life she had lived in her previous pack. But if Zee said it to be true... Tam was inclined to believe it.

Her gaze turned toward the dens for a moment when they were pointed out to her and she gave a small nod of understanding. She honestly hadn’t intended on accepting the invitation to stay the night when she first arrived, but after telling her story she felt completely drained and the idea of traveling any sort of distance right this moment seemed exhausting. She rose to her paws, but hesitated and remained standing in front of Zee for a moment longer. The light from the fire silhouetted a long shadow from her thin frame, the thick scar along her jaw standing out in the warm light since it emphasized  the difference between the pink scar tissue and her dark fur. It felt like she was at a cross road and she had to made a decision of which path to take.

“I’m glad you found me when you did,” she finally commented, letting the words fall out of her mouth before she had too much time to think them over. If she pondered it too much then she’d second guess herself. ”I don’t know if your son feels the same way yet, but he will some day. I hope that one day it’s just a distant bad memory for him that he hardly even thinks of. Just knowing someone cares does a world of difference so... you’re already helping more than you realize.” After another uncertain pause she continued, ”I’m not sure what I have to offer your pack in return, but... I’d like to stay if you’ll have me. Permanently, I mean.” Such a sudden decision about something that frightened her this much was incredibly out of character for her, but it felt right. It seemed like fate had put her here for whatever reason and she hoped that if she stayed the reason might become apparent sooner rather than later.

Tamsyn's words managed to bring some relief to the horned queen, and she gave her a smile in response. "I hope so too. I care very deeply for him, and I know there are many others who do as well. I can't comprehend what has gotten into him so early and impacted him so horribly that only a few months into life he'd wish it to end." She sighed, watching her paws once more.

When Tamsyn continued, Zee glanced back up at her. While the other woman had made it clear she did not want a pack life when they'd began their walk, something had changed her mind. The queen nodded slowly, glad that Tamsyn had decided to take her up on her offer. Already she felt protective of the wolf, and she could not protect those who did not want protecting. A part of her understood why Sirius forcibly claimed so many, because it was the easiest way to bring them into the shelter of the pack. "We'd be glad to have you. I'm sure the Armada would benefit from you in some way." Her smile widened as she paused, and then shifted into an expression of thought. "You'll need some time to settle in, I won't ask you to decide upon a path so soon. Test the waters, see what makes you happy when you're free to choose and let me know."

Knowing the woman's past, the queen hesitated before continuing. Would it scare her away to know of what the Armada expected of her? Zee could not show favoritism by giving her a pass to learn the skills that even the small healers had required of them. "Where you decide to go within the Armada is up to you, though we do have some requirements that each wolf must accept regardless of path." She began softly, her tone almost apologetic. "We function mainly as the Ashen Empire's first line of defense, as well as a school for warriors. Even if you decide fighting is not for you, you'll need to learn to. Self defense is an important skill, and in the worst case scenario if you find yourself attacked, I need you to be able to protect yourself at least until I can get to you."

It wasn't easy to imagine an unknown assailant aiming to hurt a member of her pack, and while Zee knew there were many warriors who would come to Tamsyn's defense it would be no use if the woman could not hold her own for the time it took for someone to answer her call. "I understand if it's hard for you, but it's not something I can budge on." She left the rest unsaid, that if the woman could not bring herself to learn that she did not need to join them.

It was a relief when Zee agreed that she would be welcomed here. She fully understood that she was not exactly the most ideal candidate for a pack member... Other than some training in hunting and a dabble of healing knowledge, she didn’t have many tangible skills to offer them. She wasn’t sure how to translate her interest in exploration and navigating these lands into something that could be helpful yet. Luckily Zee seemed to be willing to give her time to think about it to figure out what her place in the pack would be and for that she was grateful. Tamsyn smiled and nodded in understanding and agreement to this statement and let the horned woman continue as she described the need for her to learn how to fight.

Tam could certainly understand why Zee would think this would be a hard thing for her to agree to. In some ways it was. She had never been able to stand up for herself and looking back on her childhood she was pretty sure that was by design. If none of the women knew how to fight then none of them would be able to protect themselves from the men and their wishes. Perhaps she would react differently when she actually tried her hand at fighting for the first time, but her initial response was closer to excitement than fear. ”As long as someone is willing to teach me, then I’ll be willing to learn,” she responded easily. She smiled gently and added, ”I’ll just... need someone with some patience. I’m sure most wolves would expect someone my age to at least have some basic understanding of it, but... I’m basically a pup when it comes to fighting.”

She dipped her head one last time to Zee politely. ”Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.” She didn’t know what else to say or how to express the mixed swirl of emotions in her chest so she quickly turned to make her way to the dens that had been pointed out to her moments ago. When she found one that she was certain wasn’t being used and hadn’t been for at least a couple of days, she settled down inside and rested her head on her paws. Sleep was a far fetched idea in her mind, but she thought it was best to at least attempt it. Now all she could do was try to process this whirlwind of a day and hope she didn’t regret her sudden decision in the morning.