Quiet is the night that brings me home

It had been many moons since her paws at touched the lush grasses of the east, feeling the tension start to wane from her body with each step that she took. They were close, she could feel it now. Things were starting to look familiar, enough to bring a touch of a smile to the timid lass's lips. "We're almost there Spirit, we're almost home," whispered Eulogy, turning towards her son who was at her side. Her heart started to pound in her chest, worried that her other children would think that she abandoned them. The mere thought was enough to slow her steps, a whine vibrating in her throat. Would they understand, or would they hate their mother and think she left them on purpose? She hoped that they knew, after her overprotective antics since they had been born, that she wouldn't just simply leave them alone, not without reason. But would they listen to that reason?

Slowly, Eulogy moved towards Serpent Plains, no longer comforted by the land marks of Abaven coming closer. Worry pulled her mocha ears against her skull, hesitation in each step forward. Only Spirit offered her the comfort of moving on, as did her excitement of seeing her children once more. Even if they hated her... she would have to deal with that when it came. She had tried to come back, tried to get to them when the volcano had erupted. Spirit and her had been out hunting for herbs together when the first rumble shook the earth, panic making them both flee. The smoke quickly grew thicker, and in their daze and confusion, they had lost their way home. The uproar had separated her from her brown and white son for a moment, and she spent hours looking for him among the darkness, gasping for breath as worry clamped at her chest like a vice. After they had found one another, safe and... mostly sound, they tended to each others wounds. It took time for them to regain their strength, smoke inhalation making it nearly impossible to travel far. Once they were feeling more like themselves, they headed in the direction that they thought the pack lands were. The thick ash and smoke, let alone the fires that caught the East's thick grasses, changed the landscape of their home, making it that much harder for them to find their way. Nothing looked familiar, and there was no way that they could pick up on the scent of their home. They had no choice but to keep moving, not realizing that they had headed towards Auster. The two of them took months trying to find their way back home, slowly at first as the fear of the unknown made them cautious. They had no idea that Abaven had simply crossed the river to a nearby island, lost in the haze of chaos.

Guilt burned at Eulogy's throat, combined with the seeds of worry and doubt that her family would take them back. She furrowed her brow, turning briefly to Spirit. "Do you think they will understand?" she asked timidly, feeling the true weight of the words as they slipped past her lips. They could turn them away, or worse yet, tell her that some of her pups perished in the fires. It was enough to bring her to a complete halt, standing mere feet away from the Abaven border. The scent markers of their pack didn't reach the female, too overwhelmed by the emotions that claimed her. Before, her main concern was getting them home, trying to focus on that so that the doubt wouldn't settle. But here, now so close, it paralyzed her. They had been gone a long time, she had missed her babies growing up... The bitter sting of tears pricked at her deep blue eyes, searching her son's face for comfort. It was an unfair position to put on the young man, expecting him to help her move, but they had been the only support system for each other after the split. Eulogy couldn't move another inch, tears now flowing down her dark brown muzzle. What if they didn't understand? What if they hated her? The same thoughts echoed over and over again in her mind, crippling the previous joy she had felt only moments ago. This interaction at the border could either crush her completely, or finally settle the anxieties that had been a dark cloud over the last few seasons.

OOC;; Please give Nyx a chance to reply with Spirit before joining the thread! Will then open up to the rest of the family and Theory. <3

It'd been a long time since they'd been to these lands, and Spirit would be the first to admit that he was quite scared about coming back. Since he and his mother had gotten separated from the others, all he'd wanted was to be reunited with them, though their instinct after the volcano's eruption had been to flee as far from it as possible. Never once had they expected that Abaven would travel across the water to the island to seek refuge - but then again, he'd been suffering from some quite serious effects of smoke inhalation and they'd been preoccupied on getting as far away from the smoke as they possibly could. They'd traveled quite far together, across the glimmering sandbridge to the continent of Auster, all the while searching for their family... and it was only once they'd scouted much of the continent that they began to realize perhaps Abaven hadn't gone far from the volcano at all. They were close, and with each passing moment Spirit was growing more and more anxious. "Home," he repeated the simple one-syllable word quietly, hoping that reminding himself that this was his home might somehow soothe his frazzled nerves. The lanky boy offered his mom a nod of acknowledgement, glad she couldn't tell how hard his heart was beginning to beat in his chest. It'd been a long time since he'd seen his siblings, and he had a feeling he'd find himself at a loss for words, no matter how many times he'd rehearsed those conversations in his head. In his visions of their reunions, he didn't cry or stutter, and they all accepted him back home without question or blame; he knew that was not necessarily how things would play out, and the not knowing was what scared him the most. Would they understand? His mother echoed his own worries, and he felt his ears flatten nervously against his skull. "I h-hope," he finally answered her, though he sounded far from certain, pausing alongside her as he cast his gaze across the plains. They couldn't turn back now, not that Spirit wanted to, but that didn't stop the same worries from suddenly assaulting him. He felt similar tears prick at his eyes, but he reminded himself he had to be strong for his mother, and his family; he had no doubt they had caused some level of hurt within his siblings, whether it had been intentional or not, and he needed to be brave and face what they'd done. In a remarkable act of courage he tilted his head to the sky and let loose a call that sounded far more fearful than anything else, and once it was finished he merely reclined against his mother and waited, anxious but hopeful.

Gloom had never run so fast in her life, racing along with her stomach just barely above the ground as she rushed towards the sound of her brother's call. She didn't want to be seen still, all too eager to hide away from the other pack members but she couldn't help but run, so instead, she dashed along as low in the grass as she could. Gloom hadn't even seen her mother and brother when the tears started, streaking along her cheek fur as she dashed towards them, not even trying to stop before coming close enough to barrel into her mother. She'd push herself into her mother as much as possible, silently weeping. It had been some months and in the time she'd last seen her mother Gloom had grown quite a bit, though she had never quite managed to grow out of her more awkward features, simply seeming to have gotten bigger overall. Gloom found she couldn't seem to find any words, simply crying, no voice to her tears as she struggled to find the space to breathe between shaking sobs. No matter what her other siblings might think she couldn't be anything but relieved that her mother and brother had returned. She was too dependant, too attached to feel anything else at their return. Finally, she managed a soft whisper, turning to gaze upon her brother. "Mama, Spirit!" She said, her voice so quiet they may not have even heard her. She stretched a limb out to try and hook her brother into her embrace before saying, only marginally louder. "I missed you, please don't leave again." She fell back into crying then, unable to stop the ache in her heart. Speech Think Action

Image by AlienLion

Void wasn’t sure that he recognized the voice that called out at first, but as the call finished and faded the boy was on his feet. He didn’t move as fast as Gloom, and he was much more uncertain of his movements. Was their mother with Spirit? Dark ears slicked back to his skull as foreign emotions bubbled up in his chest. Flicks of excitement, dragging feelings of doubt, abandonment.

As he approached their black and white sister had already raced into their family’s arms. She forgave them without even thinking. Void couldn’t decide how to feel, but he couldn’t help the sense of relief from his shoulders. Conscious or not Void had worried and stressed deeply for the woman that birthed him and their missing siblings. Spirit looked so grown up, but he was sure that he did now too.

His pace was slower, but he closed the distance. Void had never been a very touchy boy, but silently he came to stand beside Eulogy. He pressed his side supportively to her shoulder and his dark lips pulled back into a sky grin.

Theory had occupied her time by identifying new herbs and trying to test her knowledge. Her healing abilities needed to be honed just as much as she'd strived to perfect her fighting skills. What was the point in causing grievous harm if you could not fix it? She did not want to leave carnage in her wake - only stronger scar tissue and fragrant blossoms. Theo was nose-deep in a flower when she heard Spirit's nervous call. The tone of his voice... oh, he was so much older now. Her heart wrenched in her chest. Was this real or had she succumbed to the same madness that had plagued Rhyme in the wake of Shaye's death? Tragedy had tailed her for so long. Could she even hope for a happy resolution to Spirit and Eulogy's disappearance? At the very least, a nervous yearling waited at her borders.

She inhaled a quick, sweet sniff one last time to steel her nerves and dashed towards the sound. Theo ran at such breakneck speed that she stumbled as she got closer. Some of Eulogy's children had already gathered. She saw herself in all of them, a reunion with her own mother that would never take place. They had all been yearning for this. Theo gasped as she looked at the two of them before her face crumbled into a happy sob. "We were so worried," she murmured, rushing to Eulogy's side and nuzzling her aunt's cheek furiously. Her fur came away wet from Eulogy's tears. After greeting her, she turned to Spirit and touched her nose to his forehead. "Little Spirit, how you've grown."

The call was unexpected and unfamiliar but somehow a part of the boy was drawn towards it. Since reaching his milestone as a yearling Desolate tried to tell himself that it was only for the sake of protecting Abaven that he responded to the summons, though some part of him knew it was more than that. The others of his family had already gathered, even Theory whom he'd bonded with closely over the seasons. When his alpha pulled away from embracing the woman, Desolate caught sight of her face and the recognition hit him. Bi-colored gaze shifted from his mother then back down to his brother and he shuffled uncomfortably in place. The part of him that wanted to run up and join in on the celebration had him inching forward, though the underlying anger he'd developed over their disappearance was overpowering. He felt the familiar angry heat building inside him and pulled his eyes off the gathering to stare down at his paws. It usually helped to center him to focus hard upon the individual blades of grass and specks of dirt, though this time the effect was minimal. Regardless of whether or not Desolate could bear to look at the returning pair, he listened intently for any words they may speak. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

Quiet is the night that brings me home

It would seem that Spirit's mood matched her own, swallowing hard to try to keep her feelings at bay. It was difficult though, the tears still sliding down her mocha muzzle as the anxiety pitched upwards. She tossed her son a thankful look when he was the one to call to his siblings and Theory, her own throat feeling far too swollen to do much of anything. Eulogy accepted the comfort of Spirit as he leaned against her, letting out a shaky sigh as they waited. It was hard to tell just how long they waited, as seconds past like hours, but soon enough she saw a speck of movement across the horizon. Her breath caught painfully as she stood, wishing that she could run to meet Gloom at full tilt. Weight was shuffled across her paws, a whine passing through her dry lips as she danced in place, feeling her heart start to swell. She looked so grown up, mending and breaking her in the same breath. She had missed so much while she was gone...

Eulogy hardly had the time to dwell on the complicated thought before the girl barreled into her, accepting the impact with a muffled sob. Her head tipped downward as Gloom nuzzled into her, feeling her tears melt into her chocolate coat. "Oh baby, oh my baby girl... I never wanted to leave you," She sobbed, nuzzling into the base of her neck. "I missed you too, so much... I'm so sorry, so so sorry..." Her sweet voice was broken in the fur of her daughter, nose wiggling closer and closer as she felt Gloom pull Spirit closer as well. She felt like she was being pulled apart, both relief at being home, of seeing her kids, and the shattering regret of missing so much in their lives. She too, couldn't stop from crying, her belly heaving with every sob that shook her whole body. It was so hard to feel just one thing, but the relief that washed over her was great, and much needed. The dame was about to try to say more when she blinked her blue eyes, seeing the ever silent Void press into her other side. Her head snapped up as she wrapped her neck around him, sobbing into his coat now over Gloom's. "Void, my little star child. You're not so little any more, are you?" she squeezed out, raising her head to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. A somber smile tugged on her lips, a half laugh, half sob following. "You will need to teach me all about the stars, I'm sure they would have guided us home so much sooner..."

The galloping sound of paws slapping on the earth drew her head up once more, her smile growing slightly. Her niece joined the pile that was quickly growing around them, a soft giggle leaving her as she tried to pull them in even closer. "My goodness, how you all have grown... I cannot even express my regret in missing it all," she whispered, her form quivering as another sob wracked her. That's when she noticed that Desolate had joined them, standing a few feet away and not rushing towards them like the others had. Her brown ears pulled back towards her skull, her smile slipping as she stared at the boy. Man... he wasn't so small anymore, was he. He looked at his paws, not at her, which only cracked her heart further. Eulogy kept looking at him, her maw opening and closing as she tried to find the words, but failed in doing so. Still she cried, her own head dropping as the shame and guilt gripped at her once again. She tried to breathe, but just gasped instead, closing her eyes to feel the heat of her family around her. She tried to let it ground her, to pull away the negative things that weighed so heavily on her. Her spirit was broken, while she was glad to see them, she was realizing truly on how much she really had missed.

It took awhile for the woman to find the words, leaning over to touch each wolf with her nose just behind the ear. "I... I really am sorry. Our absence was in no way attended, and I know that I can never... make up for the time we lost. I... Oh my family, my dearest family, I cannot express my deepest regret, and guilt in this all. I love you all, so much, and it..." she broke off, another choking sob bubbling in her throat, cutting her words off. "It kills me... Wet blue eyes turned to Spirit, looking for some encouragement from the child who went through all of this with her. He had had the strength to call them all here, she needed to find that same thing to tell them all the story in as few words as she could. Eulogy was tired, thin, and just wanted to curl around her babies and finally get the first night of good sleep in months. "It happened during the volcano eruption, we were out looking for herbs when it struck. In the confusion of smoke and fire, we got separated. I searched for Spirit in the haze, and by the time we found each other, we both were suffering a great deal from smoke inhalation," She paused, dipping her head down once again. They must have been so afraid, and she wasn't there to comfort them... Eulogy flinched painfully, knowing that everyone around her would be able to feel the violent jerk. "I should have been there for you all, and I failed you..." She managed to pull up her head, feeling like river rocks were tied to each ear, to look at Desolate. She couldn't blame him if he were mad, or any of them for that reason. "We needed to get out of there, and we couldn't find the scent of pack lands. We were both disoriented and afraid, so we ran, and ran far... By the time we had healed up and were able to travel, we realized that we had no idea where we were. We searched and searched, not realizing that we had crossed the Bifrost. We tried so hard, please believe me... to find home. I missed you all so much, and I'm so, so sorry..."

Eulogy fell silent for a moment, wide eyes sweeping around to look at all those gathered. That was the most that she had said in a long time, and it wore her out even more. The weight of it all was crushing, pulling her down until she lay on her belly, still pulling her children and her niece close. "Thank you Theory, for keeping my babies safe when I failed to do so..." She whispered, a hint of a smile tugging on her tired lips. "Can we return home?" Half of her expected a no to come from Theory, again holding no blame at all if they were rejected. They had left, after all, even though it was the last thing that she wanted to do. Eulogy didn't want much in life, but abandoning her family was so far away from anything she ever wanted. Her gaze pulled back to Desolate, fighting the urge to rush towards him. "If you will have me, that is. If not, please let your brother back in. This wasn't at all his fault, I was the one who suggested a herb hunt and a lesson... She should have been at home, she should have been able to protect her babies. Another cry left her, head lowering to curl into Gloom first, then Void, Spirit, and Theory in turn. Desolate, she wanted her last child here... her heart called to him, knowing that he was upset but not knowing how to comfort him. "I know I missed so much, but I want to be there for you as I once was. I want you to tell me all about yourselves and what you learned, and to be a family again. 'Please, she begged silently, swallowing back a whine.

There was no way of knowing whether or not they'd be welcomed home, but they had to try. Spirit wouldn't blame them for being wary, though he was hopeful they'd believe the truth of where they'd been, and what had happened. Either way, he was nervous - no, scared was a more apt descriptor. The possibility of rejection was a very real one and it left him nearly quivering where he stood, waiting in anticipation. Gloom showed up first, and from a distance he hardly recognized her. It'd been so long that he worried he wouldn't remember the faces of his siblings, but as she drew closer he decided he couldn't have mistaken her. His mouth opened, but no words came out as she moved to bury her face into Eulogy's fur. He'd managed to hold back the tears so far, wanting to be strong for his mother, but suddenly they began to spill over, though Spirit was silent as ever. "G-gloom..." He started, though no other words followed, for Gloom wasn't the only one to answer his cry. Void came next, and then Theory, and finally Desolate. Void didn't express the same emotions as Gloom, but he had come, and he leaned into their mother - which was enough for Spirit. He tried to smile, but in forcing the expression he found himself letting out a choked sob. Theory coming to touch his forehead didn't help, and he felt the tears coming on more strongly now. "I'm s-so sorry," he started, his voice nearly pleading as he gazed at Theory, who looked so much older than he remembered. Spirit was even more struck by how old his siblings looked; they were fully grown wolves now, no longer children, and though he too had grown he felt remarkably small compared to them. Living on their own had been far from easy and signs of their difficulties were etched into his very features; he was thin and almost gaunt, a far cry from his siblings. "W-we never m-meant to..." Another choked sob cut off his words when he noticed Desolate wasn't even looking at them, though he was here, which was a start. Luckily Eulogy began to speak, explaining what had happened much more easily than he was able to. It was hard to listen to the pain in her voice, and he found his own gaze shifting downward. The grasses were greener here than he remembered, and he watched as an insect scurried beneath his paws and away from them, his gaze locking on to it and focusing. Drifting away with his thoughts was far easier than being present, especially when he felt the words slipping away from him.