ardent

The places we never should have left



Casso

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Athena I

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07-11-2020, 12:28 AM


The time between when he was here last and now had been far longer than he had ever intended. He had left Valhalla with just a determination to get back to Winterfell as soon as possible, but life had pulled him in other directions and by the time he had corrected his course it had been in the dead of winter and traveling through the north had been more difficult than anticipated. The injury he had sustained on his way to Valhalla had held him up by a few weeks on its own so perhaps his hopes of arriving back here before winter had been overly ambitious. The dark figure approached the pack's border with a bit of hesitation and concern. Would his uncle hold that gap of time against him? He certainly hoped not.

The scarred man lifted his head to howl for Acere so he could finally take the steps he had fully intended to take several months ago. He was ready to live here with what remained of his Praetor family and start reconnecting with that part of himself. While he waited for his uncle to appear he replayed his aunt's message for him in his head, a short passage of words that he had made sure to remind himself of often so he wouldn't forget them over the time that had passed since he left. He had felt a surprising amount of sadness when he left her and Nolan, but he knew in his soul that this was where he needed to be for now.

"Speech" Thought




Acere

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07-22-2020, 01:24 AM
A howl he had been expecting sounded through the air and Ace couldn't help the grin that appeared. His nephew had said he'd be back, and while Ace had remained hopeful, he also wouldn't hold it against the boy for not returning. But he had. Even if it took a while, but the King was sure he had his reasons. He abandoned his project and headed towards the borders. He hoped Casso had been doing well since they last met, but he had no doubts his nephew could handle himself fairly well. As Casso came into view, Ace hurried his pace until he met his nephew. "Casso, it's good to see you again. I trust you had a safe journey back?" The northern storms had ravaged the north lands over the winter, and he hoped Casso hadn't gotten caught up in those or injured in some way. "How's the rest of your family..?" Baine especially. He had a soft spot for the woman and wondered if she had passed on to the next life or still clinging to this one...



Casso

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Athena I

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07-22-2020, 07:19 PM


When Acere came into view he was pleased to see that his expression showed that he was happy to see him arrive. Casso's worries that the amount of time that had passed would have soured his return were dashed and he gave his uncle a small smile as the older man approached him. When he asked about his journey being a safe one, Casso chuckled softly and gave a small shake of his head. "The trip back was fairly uneventful. The weather certainly held me up a bit, but nothing really to note. However, on the way to Valhalla I got into a fight with a pair of coyotes and that injury was the main reason it took me so long to get back. Of course Aunt Baine wouldn't let me leave until I was fully healed again, but I'm still sorry that it took me so long to get back."

"They're doing well," he replied with a bit of wistfulness. He was thrilled to have the chance to reconnect with Acere and the rest of the Praetor side of his family, but he was certainly going to miss seeing the other half of his family on a regular basis. "They've settled into Valhalla really well it seems. Aunt Baine is... tired most of the time, but she's still in good spirits." He wasn't sure how else to describe the sickness she had been dealing with for quite some time now. It kept her bound to her den most days, but she still always seemed so cheerful whenever he spoke to her. "She seemed really happy to hear that you were leading the pack here and I think that helped her feel better about me leaving again."

"Aunt Baine wanted me to tell you... that she doesn't regret going with you that night in the desert and she wishes that things had played out differently." He hadn't asked for her to elaborate when she had given him that message and he wasn't fully up to speed with the history between her and his uncle so he wasn't sure what she meant, but he had promised to deliver the message all the same. "She also said that if things happen to take a better turn with her health she would like to come up here and to not be a stranger if you ever go down toward Valhalla."

"Speech" Thought




Acere

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07-27-2020, 06:52 PM

He listened with some amusement as his nephew explained why he'd taken so long. At the end, Acere shook his head. "No need to be sorry, sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. I'm just glad you're safe," As corny as that might have sounded, he really was glad that his nephew was safe. That he hadn't met the same fate as Domina...he promptly dismissed that thought, however. He didn't want to have to bring it up unless he absolutely needed to, nor did he really wish to remember that day. So he focused on what Casso had to say about the Adravendi side of the family and was relieved to hear that Baine was doing well for the most part. He understood the tired feelings...as he got older, he could feel it some days, too. He couldn't help the chuckle when he said his aunt felt better about coming here now that he was leading the pack. She was a sweet woman, and what he wouldn't give to see her again.

"Aunt Baine wanted me to tell you... that she doesn't regret going with you that night in the desert and she wishes that things had played out differently. She also said that if things happen to take a better turn with her health she would like to come up here and to not be a stranger if you ever go down toward Valhalla." He remembered that night. While he regretted taking her to that hellish pack, he was glad that things played out the way they did. He had enjoyed talking to her and hanging out with her, and she didn't have to stay very long in Ruina before his brother abandoned it. He couldn't help the wistful and sad look in his eye after his nephew gave him Baine's message. He didn't know that she still thought about him as he had on occasion..."Thank you for passing on her message, I suppose a visit is in order soon."

"I suppose we ought to start getting you settled, hm? Your brother and sister will be happy to see you back I'm sure, and you have some cousins to meet, too. While there is also the matter of deciding which rank you'd like, and going over the rules we can discuss that later. Although I am obligated to say that Winterfell is no stranger to raiding for what we need, are you okay with that?" Might as well be the first thing he throws out there, right? Acere wasn't one to hold secrets when it concerned the pack as a whole and raiding as a lifestyle upon joining the pack.





Casso

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Athena I

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07-28-2020, 01:42 AM


Casso still didn't fully know the extent of his aunt and uncle's relationship, but the look on Acere's face told him that the message had been worth sharing. It made him curious so perhaps he would pester his uncle for more information at some other point. For now he needed to focus on the task at had and the formalities that went along with actually joining a pack. This would be the first time since Elias' pack dissolved that he would be a part of a formal, structured pack and he was both excited and nervous about the prospect. He hoped that the steady, constant structure of it all would help his mental state, but he supposed only time would tell.

He grinned a bit when the topic of his siblings and cousins came up and he couldn't describe how pleased he was that they were all here. It felt like this was where he was meant to be - back with his siblings and his family that fate had taken him from. He was glad that he was able to be with his mother through her final days, but now it was time for him to begin this new portion of his life. "Raids are fine with me," he replied easily with an understanding nod. He had never been someone to shy away from fights or spilling blood when it was necessary. Fighting had never been his favorite skill to hone, but he could do it if needed. Perhaps if he had more consistent tutoring he might learn to enjoy fighting more than he did, but that would have to be something he would explore more later. "For what it's worth, I'm most comfortable with being a hunter, but I'm happy to help wherever I'm needed," he added.

Casso wanted this to be a happy, simple reunion and an easy transition into being a part of his uncle's pack, but a voice nagged him in the back of his mind. For once it didn't feel like one of the voices that had become familiar, ever present ghosts lingering in his skull, but instead it was the voice of the kind healer he had met after the fight he had gotten in with the coyotes. Liz had recommended that someone around him know what was going on and as much as his pride wanted to hide it away and keep his shadows blocked from his family he knew that would only lead to heartache later on. The louder, more violent voices started to stir in his mind, cursing him for believing they were a weakness, for exposing their existence, and for a whole number of other things that he did his best to block out.

His ears flicked as he hesitated, his jaw tensing a bit as he tried to find the words to say. "There's... There's one other thing I need to talk to you about," he began, swallowing past his own injured pride. Asking for help was not something he was comfortable with - especially not from his uncle who he had just come back into contact with. The last thing he wanted now was to have any sort of comparison to his father or for any of his family to look at him with any sort of fear or concern. "I've always been told that I should always have someone I can go to when I... panic. My mother was that wolf and then it was Baine after she passed." His ruby and sapphire gaze slipped to the ground between them as he spoke, the vulnerability he was forcing himself into making him feel incredibly exposed. "I don't want to force you to be that for me now, but I have to at least tell you since I won't be around her any more." He sighed and forced himself to bring his eyes back to meet Acere's once again. "I hear voices like my father did. I ignore them pretty well most days, but sometimes I slip. They send me into panic attacks. I've learned how to deal with it for the most part and know what herbs to keep around to help, but..."

He stopped before he could say how the voices sometimes sounded like his mother and father or how they had pushed him to fight the bear that gave him most of his scars or how the whole reason he had fought the coyotes in the first place was because they had pressured him. A knot formed in his stomach while he waited to see Acere's reaction, hoping that this confession wouldn't force Acere to send him away. In all honesty he would understand if his uncle didn't trust him to stay here with this new information now out in the open, but he desperately hoped it wouldn't change anything.

"Speech" Thought




Acere

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07-28-2020, 02:15 AM

"Raids are fine with me," Okay...good. He didn't think Casso would shy away from that sort of lifestyle, but he wouldn't blame him if he did. He knew not everyone liked the idea, but asides from doing it for the debt to the Band, any other raids would be for supplies to help them survive when things got scarce. "For what it's worth, I'm most comfortable with being a hunter, but I'm happy to help wherever I'm needed," He nodded in understanding, "Of course. If hunting is what you prefer, there are plenty of positions available. I don't think we have anyone currently in any true hunting position at the moment. Your half-brother Cloudburst was our lead hunter, but he he isn't here currently." At least, not yet, anyway. He wasn't sure which of his kids if any, were interested in pursuing hunting. And Cloudburst, would hopefully be returning soon. After all, it had been about a year since he and Dragon had gone to serve time in Hjarrandi in exchange for Kai's freedom. The only thing left was the last raid which was due to be done soon enough.

He was about to mention a potential rank for him, but then he noticed that Casso suddenly looked hesitant about something. Was he having second thoughts? No...that couldn't be it. He kept his mouth shut and waited a moment to see if his nephew would say anything, and he didn't have to wait long. "There's... There's one other thing I need to talk to you about," He tilted his head slightly, cocking an ear forward to listen to what his nephew had to say. "I've always been told that I should always have someone I can go to when I... panic. My mother was that wolf and then it was Baine after she passed." He watched as his nephew turned to look at the ground between them, the alpha's brows knitting together in concern as he continued to listen. "I don't want to force you to be that for me now, but I have to at least tell you since I won't be around her any more." Casso looked up again to meet his gaze, "I hear voices like my father did. I ignore them pretty well most days, but sometimes I slip. They send me into panic attacks. I've learned how to deal with it for the most part and know what herbs to keep around to help, but..."

Acere held his gaze as he confessed what was going on. "I see..." He didn't say anything for a long moment as he thought about it and processed what Casso told him. In the end, however, he wasn't surprised. He took a deep breath before speaking again, "It's nothing for you to be ashamed of, Casso. Unfortunately, it seems to be something that runs on the Praetor side of the family...what's important is you're learning how to deal with them, and that you've sought help in dealing with them." And for that, he was proud of him. Elias hadn't quite sought any help for his demons...and instead, fully believed and accepted them, thus allowing them to pretty much control who he was and in the end, Ace had no choice but to put an end to it before things got out of hand anymore than they already had. "You're not alone in that...your brother Cloudburst suffers with the same issue..." And recently...he noticed a change in Ignis, too. He wanted to refrain from telling Casso his suspicions about his crimson coated brother, but would it be wrong to keep that from him? They were family after all, and Ace wasn't even sure if Ignis was aware of it. That, or perhaps he was guessing wrong...but his crimson nephew had been incredibly reclusive as of late...and the times he did see him in passing, he seemed less...himself.

He took a deep breath and glanced up at the sky. He supposed these were all issues that were inevitable. Though not impossible to deal with. "I fear Ignis might be dealing with...something similar as well...though I am not completely certain. He hasn't quite been himself lately." He looked to Casso again, "I...suppose I mentioned this because I want you to know you are not alone in dealing with the voices. I've dealt with them nearly my entire life and managed to quell them. And I've lived and dealt with others that heard them, too. The worst thing I can do is turn you away because of something that isn't your fault, nor something that you have complete control over. Though I will tell you, it is possible to control it, if not eradicate them completely." Acere, of course, would help him and support him whenever possible.






Casso

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Athena I

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07-28-2020, 04:09 AM


The silence that followed his confession felt like it drug on for ages. He knew that in reality it was maybe a few seconds, but it made the air around him feel heavy. When Acere began to speak and explain how it was something that ran in their family Casso felt the breath he had been holding pass his lips in a quiet sigh. At this point he wasn't sure if he could agree that it wasn't something he should be ashamed of, but he appreciated his uncle saying so all the same. He gave a small nod to the fact that he had been trying to get help. The way it had effected Elias and in turn effected the rest of their family had forced him to face his demons and decide if he was going to fall down that same path or if he was going to try to be different. Growing up with his mother and aunt had made that choice easier, but he sometimes wondered what would have happened to him if he hadn't left with them. If he had stayed behind in Ruina and hadn't had Zuriel's watchful healer eye on him... where would he be now?

He admittedly wasn’t very familiar with his half siblings, Cloudburst included, but he certainly didn’t enjoy hearing that anyone else was suffering the same fate that he was. This was especially true for Ignis. His fire red litter mate didn’t deserve this. Of course it sounded like this hadn’t been confirmed as of yet, but with the track record the men of their family had he wouldn’t be all that surprised.

What shocked him the most was the fact that Acere had managed to silence the voices in himself. For a moment Casso didn’t believe him since such a thing didn’t seem possible in his mind, but he also had no reason to think that his uncle was lying to him. It gave him a small sense of hope that perhaps he would one day be able to do the same. It felt like a distant figment of his imagination now, but he had time and now he had someone familiar with it all to help him.

”Thank you,” was all he could think to say after a moment. It was a lot to process and it wasn’t going to be something he fully grasped right in this moment. His head was swimming with all kinds of thoughts and possibilities for the future and he couldn’t quite pin any of them down. ”Maybe I can find a way to bring it up to Ignis... just to make sure he’s doing alright,” he offered thoughtfully after a moment.

"Speech" Thought




Acere

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07-31-2020, 12:15 AM

His nephew thanked him which earned a nod from the alabaster king. "Of course," And if Casso was able to find out if Ignis was suffering from something similar, then maybe they could catch it in time to help steer him in the right direction. But...Acere couldn't help but feel like he'd brought it on by letting Ignis participate in the raid against Abaven. "Ignis is usually someone that's easy to talk to...while it isn't my business to talk about his personal life, I feel like perhaps if there is something going on with him, that it may be my fault...I led a raid against Abaven as part of a debt to another Band. We were good friends with Abaven before things started changing, but Ignis I believe, knows someone there that one would say is like a best friend to him. They fought at the raid, but I don't know what happened between them since. I've tried talking to him but he just tells me he's fine before taking off to do something else," Which in turn, told Ace that Ignis wasn't fine, obviously. But maybe Casso or Actaea could get him to open up...

Speaking of which..."Your sister doesn't seem to be displaying any signs of what we have. I hope it remains that way. But...enough of that for now. I suppose it's time to officially welcome you into the pack, hm? If you don't mind, for now I'd like to place you as a Ranger - essentially a packs hunter - and from there, you have many opportunities to rise up in the ranks. You're welcome to call pack hunts if you choose, and as of now you're officially a member of Winterfell." He smiled as he tried to push away the troubling thoughts. While he wanted to talk to Casso more about it since he understood what it was like, he didn't want to keep him standing at the borders all day talking about the negative. He stepped forward to touch his nose to his nephews shoulder, breathing in the long lost scent he thought he might never smell again. "You're welcome to make a den anywhere in the pines, or claim a cabin on the ship, or both. Whatever you choose."






Casso

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Athena I

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07-31-2020, 02:51 PM


He gave a small, solemn nod as Acere explained how he thought he might have been the trigger for whatever issues Ignis was currently going through. From what his uncle was saying he couldn't tell if there was a deeper metal issue with his brother or just a resentment toward their uncle for making their pack fight a pack that one of his friends lived it. He could see how something like that could be the start for something more serious since fighting of any kind was usually a trigger of his as well, but that didn't necessarily mean it had. That was the difficult part with having close relationships with someone in other packs. You never know how they will cross or what will happen in the grander scheme of life. At the very least it was a small relief to hear that his sister seemed to be doing fine, but he wasn't that surprised by it if he was being honest. Daelos hadn't shown any of those issues either and it made him fairly certain that it was only the men in their family that got the worst of it.

Once Acere moved the topic to his official welcoming into the pack, he smiled a little and gave another nod of acknowledgement to his new title and position as a hunter for Winterfell. Making himself adjust to hunting with others more often was going to be a change, but he knew it was for the best in the long run. He was able to keep himself in check when others were around so perhaps it would prevent him from getting into the same mess he had with the coyotes and the bear. "I'll have to do a bit of exploring and see which option I like better for a den," he replied with a soft chuckle, a soft smile pulling at his lips. He was home. He hadn't imagined living this far north and hadn't expected to have his uncle as his new leader, but neither developments bothered him in the slightest. Simply knowing that he always had a place to come back to and somewhere that he could continue to improve himself was a relief enough on its own.

"Don't worry too much about Ignis," he added after a moment of thoughtful silence, trying his best to hopefully reassure his uncle even though he knew there would be no way for him to erase those worries entirely. "I'll talk to him and see what's going on." He got to his paws and closed the small distance between them to wrap his neck around Acere's in an embrace for a rare show of affection. "I'm glad to be home," was his parting comment as he stepped back again. "I guess I should go get settled in, huh? It's time to get used to pack life again."

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