Though neither had been particularly pleased about it, Eligos had firmly insisted that both malinois stay behind in Aerie as he took this trip. He hadn't told his siblings where he was going, either, not wanting any of them to feel obliged to make the pilgrimage with him. He wanted to go it alone, this time.

To see the place where his father had died.

He thought he'd might have second thoughts before he reached the volcano's base, but he'd only grown somber and thoughtful, withdrawing into himself and making the journey without even remembering it passing, and then there he was, at the volcano's base. He stared up the slope passively, his face set, and then without showing any particular emotion despite the sudden shakiness within him, he started up the path to the top.

The heat and the sulfer-stink of volcanic activity was intense enough to make his fur crackle. And then, the lip of the volcano itself.

He closed his eyes for a long moment, shuddering, then opened them onto the hellish lavascape below him. Almost fitting, that his father had met his end here, when so often the Fallen God himself was associated with fire and the underworld, having been cast down from above. It was all symbolism and not literal, he'd always believed, but staring down into the oozing, bubbling, shimmering field of magma, he wasn't so sure it wasn't.

There was a tremble within his chest, and he wondered whether it was wrong that he couldn't cry for his loss. Was it strength, or was he broken? The Fallen God had told them it was strength, and that they should show no weakness. His own father had taught him that. So when he felt no tears burning behind his eyes, surely that was as it should be. But he wished there was some way, some way without dishonoring his father's memory with weakness, to show the pain and grief that still clawed at his chest. If he didn't have Aerie to focus on, to guide towards the future he envisioned, his family to protect and nurture, he didn't know how he would be able to keep going with this aching emptiness that time didn't seem to shrink.

He wasn't sure why he was here. In all of his thinking and soul searching - if that was what he could even call it - he hadn't been able to figure out what he wanted. He had thought perhaps a change of scenery might help him get a different perspective, but... he wasn't sure this was what he had in mind. The volcano had drawn his father in once upon a time and perhaps something about it called to him in the same way. He had set off from the pack's lands without a destination in mind. He just picked a direction and started walking, telling Yurei that he might be gone for a day or two. He knew she didn't like being alone and admittedly he didn't like leaving her alone either, but he had to think. He couldn't just keep their lives in limbo forever because of his own insecurities and inability to decide what was worth it. Casso let his dark paws carry him across the landscape that still felt familiar even though he hadn't lived here or even near it since he was very young. Something about the lands that you grew up in never really seemed to leave your memory - or at least it didn't for him. The area looked different of course after the eruption, but somehow it still felt the same. The warmth of the rocks under foot, the sulfur laden smell of the lava, the ash and shoot that covered his paw pads as he walked... that was all the same. He glanced up toward the top lip of the volcano and paused when he spotted another figure standing at the edge of it. For the most brief, fleeting moment he thought it might be his brother or a ghost of his father since he was looking at the stranger from a fair distance and it just looked like the dark form of a male, but he very quickly realized it was neither of those wolves. It was just a stranger that he had never met. He wasn't sure that he had never actually been to the top of the volcano himself and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. Being here had already put him on edge enough without having to look the lava and source of the heat and power that his father had so desperately craved in the face. He did wonder what the stranger was doing there though so he waited and lingered for a moment longer, his two-toned gaze watching the black and tan wolf with a mild curiosity. "Talk" Think

He didn't know what answers he'd thought to find in the heart of the volcano, but he finally turned heavily to make his weary way back down the path having not found them, unsatisfied and adrift in the thoughts that preoccupied him. When he came upon another wolf, for a moment his flat, blank red gaze didn't register it, though his paws stopped automatically. Then he blinked, dragging himself to the present, and his gaze cleared and sharpened to fix on the other male. The resemblance to Eligos' sister Fel was uncanny at first glance, though not so closely as to do more than take note of the passing similarity. The other wolf, hardly seeming any older than Eligos himself, smelled of Winterfell. Eli was silent a long moment, studying the other male, before he felt compelled to tell him in a low tone, "I don't know what you are seeking, but you won't find it here. That mountain won't give it's secrets and its ghosts up to the likes of us. Go home."

Casso watched the other male for a moment with an odd curiosity and had nearly walked off and left him be when the red eyed male turned away from the top of the volcano and began to walk away from it. The decent from the top of the mountain put them easily within the same vicinity of each other and the other male seemed to finally register his presence after a moment. They looked at each other quietly for a moment before the black and tan male spoke a bit of wisdom that Casso admittedly didn’t want to hear. It was the real truth of the situation, but it just meant that he was turning to places and things for answers that wouldn’t have them. "Home doesn’t have the answers I’m looking for either, I’m afraid,” he replied after a moment, letting head turn so that his eyes could look out toward over the open expanse of land that made up a large portion of Boreas. If the place that his father had always believed to be so wouldn’t help him find the answers he needed then he didn’t know where else to go… although his father had been a fool so perhaps he should have known better than to expect anything out of this place. "But I suppose you’re right,” he added after a moment, sighing as he turned his eyes back toward the stranger. ”I'm not ready to go home… I just haven’t figured out where to go from here.” Maybe it would do him some good to pay his aunt a visit… She usually had a pretty sound mind and good ideas about these sorts of things. His only concern was that he knew what her answer would be and he wasn’t sure he wanted that sort of optimistic outlook on things. "Talk" Think

They both knew that they weren't really talking about the volcano, and in another framw of mind Eligos may have found some amusement in the way that each took such significance from such an innocuous conversation. "Move forward," Eligos advised grimly. "You can't ever go back anyhow, and if you're too busy looking over your shoulder to see where you've been you will walk right into the volcano's mouth." His gaze was rapidly going distant again as hia attention faded inward, expression graven of grimly neutral lines, paws flexing absently to drive his claws into and out of the ashy dirt. His father's death had been a waste, for though he had brought the heretic down into the volcano it had not been worth the cost. The Abraxas needed to move forward, to emerge from the ashes of Malleus' death like a phoenix, but Eligos still found himself curled within the proverbial egg, unable to truly move past his loss to lead them into rebirth. His words were aimed as much at himself as the other male, and a faint edge of frustration at himself grated in his tone.

It was sound advice even though he wasn’t entirely sure how to go about following it. He watched the other man curiously for a moment, observing the clear frustration on his features. He could almost watch the inner turmoil the man was working through and even though he was sure their reasons were very different, he couldn’t help but relate and sympathize with him. It was a reminder that he wasn’t the only one struggling with battles that had no answers - a reminder that he didn’t realize he needed until he had it. “Same to you,” he replied simply with a small nod of his head. He didn’t even know the man’s name, but perhaps it was better that way. A bit of outside perspective and advice from a mystery man. With that he turned to leave, heading back down the mountain and moving toward the western parts of Boreas. He hadn’t quite decided if he would go to find his aunt to get her insight or not, but at least if he went this way he’d have the option. -exit?- "Talk" Think

The other male had as little interest in switching gears from this oddly deep philosophical discussion into anything social, instead ending the conversation with an abruptness that would have been odd if both of them hadn't been so preoccupied and wrapped up in their own disparate problems, and turned away to return down the mountain. Not wanting to follow on the stranger's heels Eligos settled himself onto his haunches and waited, his attention only peripherally on him, until he reached the end of the trail. Then he stood, stretched, and made his own way down as the stranger disappeared. Nothing had changed, for all this. There'd been no real point to visiting here. He'd known that, deep down, but he'd been drawn in anyway. Well. He may as well return to what was left of his family, concentrate on his brothers and sister, and the few cousins who hadn't abandoned them, and muddle his way through somehow. -exit-