It’d been a about a week since returning from the swamp, give or take a few days due to the fact that it was getting increasingly difficult to tell the time. Was it night or was it just cloudy? Morning or noon? Every minute seemed to last centuries, every passing day felt like a lifetime. The amount of events and conversations that happened within the space of that week didn’t help with her disillusion. It was as if she had materialised right their and then, like before dragging herself out of the muck she simply hadn’t existed. She was grateful for every minute set aside for her benefit, but it only drove her to her current conclusion: She needed to leave.

She didn’t know where exactly she’d run away to, only a loose, half formed idea that she’d follow to the ends of the the earth regardless. She couldn’t just sit there and watch, not literally of course, people stress and worry over her needs and health. There were simply better things to do, and no amount of pleading would drive their attention from her. She wasn’t going to be fireside’s burden.

There was another, more selfish reason behind the split. It was the same reason she didn’t roam the pack lands one last time, or sit in the orchard for a couple more hours before heading to the border. It wasn’t the same, and at this rate it’d probably never be the same. No matter how much time spent here it wouldn’t bring back the familiar, the comforting. Better to leave forever rather than watch as pleasant memories are corrupted by her ailment as well.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but in her eyes it was necessary. As she rose her head in a call for the alpha, the feeling of shame settling in deeper. She’d failed her community for the second time that year, and she held back the dam that threatened to burst. She’d stop herself from breaking again, she owed them at least that much.

The voice that called to him didn't come as much of a surprise. It was about time for Abilene to pick a career path. She'd had time to think about it and all that, so it made sense that she might be ready. Hopefully Alarr wasn't busy as it seemed quite likely the woman was going to stick with the path of a healer, in which case Alarr would be the best wolf to assess her suitability. Tyrian wouldn't call for his brother just yet, but as he walked he absently tried to remember the last place he'd seen him. He'd do well to remember as it would make summoning him easier.

Things were beginning to ramp up in Fireside. Valkyrie, Chaos' wife, had given birth recently. Soon enough five (!!!) pups would be old enough to leave the den and the packlands were rife with danger. Tyrian didn't expect everything to be puppy-proofed, but it wouldn't hurt to sand the rough edges off some of the corners, so to speak. This was the first litter to be born under his rule and the first litter for his family since Tyrian had become an adult. He was feeling a bit protective over - and more than a little nervous about! - his nieces and nephews.

When at last he was within sight of the small woman Tyrian greeted her warmly, "Abeline." He closed the distance down to a respectable speaking distance before continuing, "What can I do for you?"

Anxiety rippled through Abby's mind as she heard his approach. In all honesty, the alpha and his relatives intimidated her greatly, being sharp-toothed wolves of high standing, both figuratively and literally. Even though she couldn't see him she still felt the childish fear, amplified only by the news she was about to deliver. How quickly would that friendly tone change? and more importantly, how much? Hopefully her trial period hadn't expired by now. "Sir? I uhm..." Why was it so hard to say? she'd been there less than a season. "I want to leave." She resented the way she seemed to revert to her past self, as if she'd made no progress at all. Maybe history was destined to repeat itself, and she'd be stuck in an endless loop that feigned any personal growth. Run, hide, heal, hurt, run.

"I just don't think I'm a good fit." Lies. "And I think it'd be for the best." Truth. "I have a plan." A half truth. She did have a plan, though she didn't have to specify whether it was a particularly good one. "I'll be fine on my own for a bit. I've got Bell, and If I'm easy on my leg I can walk. I heard of a pack downstream, not too much of a trek. They sound like a better fit right now." She made sure to specify they were better for her personally, not better in general. She had limited life experience, but she thought Fireside was pretty great.

Through very careful, deliberate thoughts Tyrian kept his expression unchanged as he digested all Abeline had to say. What she wanted was wholly unexpected, but, as he well knew from the start, had always been possible. She was his first washout. He knew he'd get one eventually and, if he were being honest, it wasn't a surprise that this woman in particular felt ill suited. She'd been anxious and lacking in confidence the day they'd met so out of all of those who had joined since he'd taken over, she wasn't too surprising given the harshness of Fireside life. Just disappointing. But alas, that was life, no? And it was good she had discovered the ill fit before becoming a full member. Though nothing about the situation was ideal, Tyrian could take solace in the fact that she would take little information of value about the pack with her as she hadn't yet been taught much of merit.

Finally a frown settled across his features. Not that she could see it; he was aware of her predicament, of course. "Well," he began slowly, trying to be diplomatic even though this was more or less a breakup, "As you know, when you first joined I told you there was a grace period where we both would have a chance to make up our minds about your suitability." Tyrian paused to consider his next words carefully. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed but it is good that you decided this now before more permanent arrangements had been made."

A point of suspicion nagged at him. What did she mean by "better fit right now"? There was only one way to find out and it wasn't like he had anything to lose. She was already on her way out. "What do you mean 'right now'? Why not just 'better fit'?"

Even if Tyrian had made an effort to keep a neutral expression it wasn’t like it could’ve given Abby any comfort right then, being blind and all. Her inability to see the alpha’s face heightened her already significant anxiety, but she eventually determined that he was disappointed and nothing more. It didn’t really make her feel any better, but at least it wasn’t murderous rage. At least, she assumed so. It was kind of hard to tell.

She breathed a barely audible sigh of relief, the release of tension only noticeable in the relaxing of her shoulder and the flattening of her fur. That was the hard part done she had thought, until he asked her to explain her words. She sighed again, at herself and her poor choice of words more than anything. ”I mean my decision isn’t a symptom of a larger problem with the pack. I think, at least.” She said, uncertainty laced in her explanation. “It’s just... circumstance. I think I would’ve stayed for longer if uh, you know what didn’t happen.” She gestured to her bandaged leg. Of course she was referring to her blindness as well, but she didn’t quite know how to indicate that. ”It’s not your fault is all. This is on me.” Not that she expected Tyrian to think that. But she didn’t want it to weigh on his mind like it would on hers if she was in his position.

Tyrian listened carefully as she spoke, his eyes searching hers as he tried to understand where she was coming from. When she hinted at the incident that had left her blind he stilled. That didn't sit well with him and he rolled it around in his head briefly trying to understand why. In the end he decided it made his decision to let go easier. She was going through a difficult time and instead of finding solace in her packmates she was choosing to go abroad. That didn't hint at a mind who would mesh well with what Tyrian envisioned. He wished for his wolves to be a family or, if that was too intimate a word for some, a unit; pieces of a whole made stronger together. If things got hard if Abeline didn't fall back on those who had taken her in then was not that simply more proof she wasn't a good fit? It was good, he decided firmly, that she was leaving now. "Alright, well, good luck, then," he said cordially. "If you change your mind about an escort just give me a howl."

-exit?-