ardent

I've Been There Before

Allegro



Aranea

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Light
posts
384
player
Chrono I

Beevent
12-16-2020, 11:18 AM

The days had gone by quickly, too quickly. And though she tried not to let the overwhelming feelings linger and consume her, it was hard to keep them at bay. Seeing her children grow day by day and learn in their own ways, with the guidance of her and Allegro somehow felt like a completely new feeling to her even though she had been through even just this part of parent hood. And something she hadn't considered was that by the time she would leave to go back to The Hallows, it would come close to the amount of time she spent with Rain and Nuada.

She would leave Allegro's den with the young pups running through her legs, eager to go out and adventure. They had been giving them a little more freedom inside the pack, but still as an anxious mother and Allegro as a first time father she could feel the small worries they shared inside. She'd turn to look at Allegro when he came out of the den himself, going to push her shoulder into him and lean her head against him as he came beside her. Even though she had a gentle smile on her features, that feeling still lingered there. That she would seem to have everything she wanted right now, and she would be leaving it behind. The distance and the visits wouldn't fill her with the joy and warmth she felt right now.

Walk "Talk" Think


Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger.

(Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee)

Scent: Lavender
Alignment: Neutral Good
Season: Summer
Height: 26 inches
Home: Somnium - Dead




Allegro

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Male
gems
45
size
Large
build
Medium
posts
127
player
Athena I

Samhain 20221K
12-17-2020, 05:28 PM
Walk | "Talk" | think


Watching their children run out into the world was always a proud but worrying moment for him. He knew they were still within the safety of the pack and of course they had to learn how to spread their wings and be on their own sooner or later, but he just wanted them to stay the tiny, adorable puff balls that they were when they were first born. They were growing up so fast - far too fast for his liking. He followed Aranea and the pups out of the den, smiling softly to himself as he watched them go out onto their daily adventures. He was silently glad that he was able to give them a steady, stable life here. A good portion of his youngest years had been filled with uncertainty so at least they could grow up knowing they always had a home to come back to.

He felt Aranea lean into his shoulder and he naturally leaned back into that touch as he turned his gaze down toward hers. As they grew ever closer to the day when she was supposed to leave to return to The Hallows, the deeper the pang in his chest got when they were together. He felt like it was no secret that he didn't want her to go, but he knew that he didn't want to be the kind of wolf to impose his desires on someone else. If she was happier living in The Hallows then he wouldn't take that away from her... but he still held out hope that perhaps living with him and their children might out way that obligation to her pack one day so they could be together. He kept a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down to hers, nuzzling the space between her ears tenderly and letting him self continue to savor every moment they had together.





Aranea

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Light
posts
384
player
Chrono I

Beevent
12-18-2020, 10:00 AM

It seemed the two of them hid their silent tension well to the fact that Aranea would be leaving any day soon. They truly made the most of every moment they had together and with their children. Aranea for sure wouldn't want to spoil any of the time she had with them considering the circumstances with her last litter.

Her head curled slightly to his touch, and she would be always thankful for the way he treated her whether it was everlasting or only short lived. Allegro was a much better and wiser man than Tyranis. And Aranea didn't think it was because of how young and impressionable they were when they were young.

Her eyes watched as their pups played with each other, or went about their day into the lands of Abaven. Of course there was a bit of worry as they went off on their own to start their adventures, but there had to be a time where they learned and grew on their own and out of the den and puphood.

She didn't really want to bring up her feelings as they had been so happy over the last few weeks and since the pups birth. But it almost felt like it had to be said. Her time here was getting shorter by the day and there was so much that Allegro still didn't know about her. She felt like she could be more open to him than she had been with anyone else now, even when she had her breakdown with Torin. "It's hard being here again, Allegro. In Abaven I mean." Of course she was referring to the fact that she had an emotional turmoil from her last time calling Abaven home. If she had to be completely honest, this was actually where her and Ty had her first kiss. "But I think it'll be harder for me to leave them, and you."

Walk "Talk" Think


Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger.

(Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee)

Scent: Lavender
Alignment: Neutral Good
Season: Summer
Height: 26 inches
Home: Somnium - Dead




Allegro

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Male
gems
45
size
Large
build
Medium
posts
127
player
Athena I

Samhain 20221K
12-18-2020, 03:09 PM
Walk | "Talk" | think


Allegro's ears perked forward to listen as Aranea broke the silence, listening with a quiet curiosity as she explained how it was hard to be here in Abaven, but that it was harder to leave their children as well as him. He couldn't deny the bit of hope that this gave him and had to carefully keep himself from getting his hopes up for what that might mean. His ears flicked uncertainly and he was quiet for a moment. It was hard to walk the line between wanting to keep her close and not wanting to over step his boundaries. He didn't want to make her feel like he was trying to take her freedoms, but he also couldn't ignore how happy having them together as a family had made him.

"What happened?" he asked after a moment, his gentle eyes peering down at her curiously. "The last time you lived in Abaven I mean... Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable here?" He hesitated, but eventually let himself add, "I... I don't want you to leave. If there's something I can do... I'd be happy to do it." He loved her. He loved their children. He loved this life they were beginning to build together. The thought of losing that was heart breaking and for once in his life he wanted to be selfish and keep something for himself, but he didn't have the privilege of making that decision. She was her own woman and only she could decide that for them.





Aranea

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Light
posts
384
player
Chrono I

Beevent
12-19-2020, 11:20 AM

She wouldn't feel or show that his questions and needs were out of boundaries, because they weren't. She wanted this picture they painted just as much as he did, and there would be no reason she would resent him for wanting to keep it that way. She felt her presence as a mother to their children was just as important as making her happy by staying with them, maybe even more. Perhaps it was what the years of maturity had done to her. At a year old or even two she would have been much more selfish in the needs of her own and may not have even considered telling Allegro about their children. But it seemed that as she grew older in age and knowing that one day in a far future she would be too old to have pups or too old to make amends or simply just move on into the next realm, her overall vision of the world had changed from her young days.

"You already have, Allegro." She'd look up to him with a small genuine grin. He had made living here easier for her. His affections and love of her and their children. She had felt better emotionally than she had in many years and just making the new memories of Abaven and it's lands made a change in her impression of the idea as a whole. "This is where I met Tyranis. My first litter's father, though I wouldn't even call him that now." Her tone may have dropped slightly as she looked away out at the slow stream into the lake, more in thought than just bursting with sadness or anger, as she had when she announced the pregnancy to him. "I left here because of him. To be with him. I'm sad to say now how impressionable I was back then. Or maybe how desperate I was for the attention of someone." And it was true. Aranea though kind hearted and good willed was once mighty selfish and jealous and for whatever reason thought that the wolves of Abaven avoided her like a plague when she joined. She found friendship inside of Sparrow but the tension of the pack rose when they switched hands to Vali and it made Tyranis want to pursue more in his life. But if Aranea had just gotten out more, and away from the young brute, she would have been more open to her options and what she wanted in her life at that time opposed to what Tyranis wanted. Allegro had a lot more care about Aranea's feelings, and it was well felt and noticed on her end. But he was in the same situation when it came to their age, and he of course would have the things he wanted for himself after so many years of his life had passed.

Walk "Talk" Think


Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger.

(Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee)

Scent: Lavender
Alignment: Neutral Good
Season: Summer
Height: 26 inches
Home: Somnium - Dead




Allegro

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Male
gems
45
size
Large
build
Medium
posts
127
player
Athena I

Samhain 20221K
12-22-2020, 10:18 AM
Walk | "Talk" | think


Hearing her say that he had already helped her feel comfortable here did make his expression soften a bit and brought a smile to his lips. That was all he could really ask for these days - the opportunity to make Aranea happy and do everything he could to return the joy that she had given him. Making him a father was possibly the greatest gift he had ever been given and there was no way he could ever repay her for that, but he could do his best to at least make sure his family was living the best life they could.

Some clarity about her past was finally revealed to him as she spoke about the father of her first litter and how she had met him here. It wasn’t a name he was familiar with so he wasn’t certain if they had ever crossed paths or not, but he wouldn’t have been surprised if they hadn’t. His time in Abaven had been spotty through his life so it was possible that they had been in the pack at different times. Either way, from the way she spoke of him didn’t make him feel like this man was someone he would have wanted to meet. It made him curious about her other children and where they may have ended up, but he was sure that at the very least they were all adults that were off living their own lives. He just hoped that they were all doing well wherever they were - just as he did all of his family that had scattered to the wind over the years.

He was quiet for a moment with thought before finally bringing his gaze back to Aranea and leaning down to gently nose at her cheek, leaving a tender kiss there as he offered her a smile. ”I want you to be happy. Whether that is here with us or in The Hallows or somewhere else entirely... I know what I want, but I can’t make that decision for you. If you do want to stay, I will do whatever it takes to make that possible. If you want me to go speak to the alpha of The Hallows for you or go to Theory and make sure there’s a place here for you I can. We can move to a den in another part of the territory, build it bigger so there is plenty of space for all of us...” He hated feeling like he was convincing her one way or another, but he wanted to make sure that any barriers she might feel coming here were taken care of.

He had another beat of thoughtful silence before he added, “If you want... We don’t have to be a part of either pack.” He had never really considered leaving Abaven before, but at this point he was willing to do whatever made her the most comfortable. “If you want to live on our own as loaners and raise our children wherever we wish we can do that as well... I can hunt for us and with your healing skills we’ll stay healthy.”





Aranea

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Light
posts
384
player
Chrono I

Beevent
01-01-2021, 10:05 AM

The way Allegro expressed his feelings for her was enough to put tears in her eyes but she felt strong enough to not let them fall. She looked up at him with almost the same longing he had as he spoke. He was over willing to make her happy or make them stay as a family. It seemed like even though he had a lot of his own dreams and goals, he was still not wanting to pressure her into doing something she didn't want to.

Her gaze dropped away from him, not wanting to disappoint him but there was little she felt she had to hide from him especially coming from her true feelings. Still, he was more than what she could ask for as a mate and as a father. And it would devastate her just as much to reject his offer. But still, he had her considering it because she couldn't deny that she would want to stay here with her children and with him.

But when he offered for them to live out as loners on the land, she would have an immediate answer in turn for him. Her gaze returning to him with a bit of worry to the thought, "No, I don't want that for our children." She thought of where being a loner had led her and Nuada. And where she knew Allegro would do anything to protect her and their children, there was still that itch in the back of her mind telling her that it wouldn't be enough. She couldn't care for them or protect them on just her own, and all of that emotional baggage would be pulled on Allegro.  "I want them to grow up safe in Abaven, and safe with you."

Still she went silent for a moment, still not wanting him to resent her or feel sad for her denying the offer. "I'm not going to tell you I'm not willing to live here in Abaven. I just need more time to consider what that means for me and The Hallows." Resin would surely allow her to go live in Abaven with her new family, she just knew moving to The Hallows was not an option.

She felt a tension in her to get it out, if only because she placed all her trust in him by now. "My other children are dead, Allegro. And it's my fault." Her lack of emotion could have been alarming, but maybe the amount of happiness she had felt of the course of her time in Abaven with her new family had subsided those feelings. Not that it wasn't still an unbearable pain she felt.

Walk "Talk" Think


Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger.

(Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee)

Scent: Lavender
Alignment: Neutral Good
Season: Summer
Height: 26 inches
Home: Somnium - Dead




Allegro

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Male
gems
45
size
Large
build
Medium
posts
127
player
Athena I

Samhain 20221K
01-01-2021, 10:04 PM
He was a little relieved when she completely rejected the idea of living on their own without a pack. He would do it without hesitation if it meant being with Aranea and keeping their family whole, but he didn't necessarily want that for them either. There was a certain safety and community that only came from living in a pack. He nodded when she insisted that she wanted them to go up here with him in Abaven, but he distinctly noticed that she had left herself out of that equation. He was quiet and he tried his best to not show his disappointment, instead just giving her another understanding nod before glancing away to look at their pups as they played in the distance. He thought for a moment that perhaps that would be the last of it for now, but she spoke again and pulled his gaze back to hers. More time... He supposed if that's what it would take then he was of course willing to give that to her. He just hoped that giving her that time and space wouldn't mean letting her slip out of his paws forever. His biggest fear in this was that she would leave and any hope he had of keeping her with him would fade once she got back to The Hallows. "Okay," he agreed, giving her a soft smile. Only time would tell.

After another moment of silence she broke the silence with a huge bombshell of a secret, making his brows lift in surprise before confusion and concern creased his brow. The evenness and lack of emotion to her tone made him pause, but he made the assumption that this was an old fact to her now so perhaps it wasn't as volatile to her personally. He really tried his best to not jump to conclusions even though his mind immediately started trying to figure out who something so awful could possibly be her fault. "How... How is it your fault?" he asked, his mismatched ears flicking uncertainly. Before he heard her answer he already firmly believed that whatever it was couldn't actually be her fault and she was just being too hard on herself. Of course all he could do was wait for her answer to see if that was fact or him only wanting to see the very best out of the woman that he had fallen in love with.

Walk | "Talk" | think




Aranea

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Light
posts
384
player
Chrono I

Beevent
01-03-2021, 03:27 PM

The feeling of guilt wasn't exactly clear to her and it was a lot easier to say it as her fault then think or explain why. "Tyranis..." She'd trail as she looked away from Allegro for only a couple seconds before grabbing his gaze again, "I shouldn't have trusted him. He took Rain away from me in the middle of the night. Abandoned his pack and me and Nuada." She felt like she should have heard him leave the den especially while taking their son. She may not have been able to stop him physically but she would have honestly died trying. At least took Nuada and followed him if anything. "I was... not mentally well when he never came back. I think Nuada left the den on her own and I never saw her again." The uncertainty of what happened to Nuada was a big factor of what plagued her mind. Well, she couldn't be sure what happened to either of them or Tyranis.

Her gaze returned back to their children off in the plains, "I should have been there for her. I should have been there for both of them." Little did she know that her neglect had made Nuada to leave and survive on her own, but also Rain had become distorted from his father's brutal expectations. And she may not ever know the truth of how her first litter of children felt about her. Sure their disappearance would have been alarming for any parent, but she truly believed that they had died. She hadn't heard of Tyranis at all in the last five years, and she felt that since she hadn't run into either of the children up to now, there was no way they had survived. It was probably a long shot of an option but she had traveled a lot in those many years, not that Allegro was entirely aware. But anything he could have said to reassure her probably wouldn't have been taken seriously and Aranea would still see herself as garbage at least for the half of her life she would have rather forgotten.

Walk "Talk" Think


Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger.

(Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee)

Scent: Lavender
Alignment: Neutral Good
Season: Summer
Height: 26 inches
Home: Somnium - Dead




Allegro

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Male
gems
45
size
Large
build
Medium
posts
127
player
Athena I

Samhain 20221K
01-03-2021, 06:15 PM
He frowned as he listened to her describe what she knew of her first litter's fates and how their father had taken one of them away. He couldn't really help the anger he felt toward this Tyranis even though it was a wolf he had never met and would most likely never meet. His protective nature over Aranea made him a little bit irrational in his emotions toward anyone that had hurt her in the past because he knew that it was at least partially because of them that she had to endure these struggles and emotional turmoil. She was such a genuinely gentle and kind soul in his eyes that was absolutely no reason she should have had to go through any of this. He desperately wished their paths had crossed earlier in their lives so that he could have protected her from all of it, but he always had to remind himself that there was no guarantee that even if they had have met earlier that they would have been as drawn to each other as they were now.

There was nothing he could do to change the past. It was something he had to continually remind himself of, but it was particularly hard to remember when he saw how much it hurt the woman he loved. He was quiet for a few moments as she said that she should have been there for her pups. It wasn't her fault, he knew that for a fact, but he could tell that there was going to be no convincing her of that. This was something that had sat with her for too many years for just his words to make a real impact on her thoughts on the subject. All he could do was try and shape how she felt moving forward. He shifted to lean his side into hers, dipping his head to give the top of her head a gentle kiss. "Thank you for sharing with me," he told her softly, knowing that it wasn't the easiest thing to do. Giving her an encouraging smile, he added, "I'm proud of you. After all of that... I don't know if I could have given any of this another chance if I had gone though even a fraction of that. We can't fix the past, but we can make the future brighter. For us and for them." He nodded to their pups that were playing and tumbling over each other with an energy that he could barely remember ever having. "Lets go be with them and not think about all of this heavy stuff for a little bit."

Walk | "Talk" | think




Aranea

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Light
posts
384
player
Chrono I

Beevent
01-17-2021, 12:07 PM

Allegro's words rang true to her, no matter how the past hurt her as emotionally as it did. And maybe if he had spoke the honesty to her a couple years ago, she would have came back to him with words more of anger than understanding. Perhaps wanting Tyranis to pay for what he had done to her and Nuada, and unknowingly Rain. She may have asked Allegro to seek him out, and maybe even kill him. But now in her old age, finding Allegro with his like-minded self, and looking out on their children together, she would want nothing else than to move on. Pain of her loss would still be lingering, but not as physically as it had before. And maybe one day her children and even Abaven would know and understand the suffering she felt and the back story that was the start of her new life which was actually where they stood now. And standing here again with a different man, and a different life, it made her blossom into something better.

"Yes, let's go be with them now. " Aranea could see the lengths Allegro went to please her, and she could only think about what she could do to make it up to him not that she had already started with this family. She would consider her permanent place in Abaven for the future. And at least her consideration was enough to keep Allegro happier.

-Exit Aranea-

Walk "Talk" Think


Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger.

(Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee)

Scent: Lavender
Alignment: Neutral Good
Season: Summer
Height: 26 inches
Home: Somnium - Dead