After doing his usual rounds around the pack with his patrols and making sure to spend a minute with each of his children, Ulric began gathering a few supplies from around the castle. Most notably, be took a scrap of fabric from some of the old drapery that had been pulled down from some of the windows to be repurposed into other things so that he could fashion it into a makeshift bag of sorts. It wasn't his best craftsmanship, but he didn't need it to be. It was just for a quick trip a bit further south so he didn't need it to stand the test of time. He tucked a bit of dried meat inside as well as a couple flowers that he had collected from the Starlit Plains before slipping out of the pack lands. He didn't intend to be gone very long, but there was a certain place he had in mind that he felt like he had to make a visit to before he really allowed himself to refocus entirely on the pack. It was an act of catharsis and something he needed to get out of his system.

It was still fairly early in the day when he left so by the time he made it to the Lazuli Falls it was just beginning to go into the late afternoon. His steps slowed as the sound of the falls grew louder and louder in his ears until he was standing a few feet from the edge of the pool that surrounded the falls itself. As his silver gaze turned upward toward the top of the falls he began to wonder if this had been a mistake. He had hoped that perhaps coming to a place where he could release all of these pent up emotions would be therapeutic, but now be was beginning to wonder if he would even have the strength to face them. With a hard swallow past the lump in his throat he turned away from the falls for a moment to go find the den that his sister had once kept for herself and Memento.

There had been a small part of him that had hoped that maybe there would be some evidence that his sister had returned in the time since he had visited the falls last, but that hope was quickly dashed. There wasn't a single fresh scent anywhere in the den besides a couple other animals that had repurposed the den here and there over the last few months. It had been a far flung hope, but one that he couldn't keep himself from having. Walking away from the den, he neared the falls again and let himself drop the loosely formed bag in front of him before settling back onto his haunches. Staring at the rippling water ahead of him, his mind drifted through the years of memories that had brought him to this point. The death of his father, fleeing Boreas with his mother, caring for her the best he could on his own, finding Nausicaa, returning to Boreas and Auster with her and his mother, finding Philomena and having their family reunited for such a brief moment... The fight with Philomena that had left the scar across his cheek, finding Meme and hearing that Philomena had abandoned them, watching their family crumble apart again... And Azariah.

Ulric's ears folded back against his head and he sighed as he slowly lowered onto his stomach and began to fiddle with the bag he had tied up. There had been so many turning points in his life and all of them had sent him into a tail spin. Every time he felt like he had failed and there were very few times that he could think back to and be proud of that moment. Every time it started to turn around, started to give him hope that things would be better, it all came crashing down. Meeting Azariah had been the beginning of the biggest upswing of joy and love he had ever experienced. Bringing her into his family, beginning their life together in The Hallows, the birth of their children... those were all things he could look back on and feel like he had done something right. Now though... Now it had all crashed down again. He didn't know where she had gone or what had happened to her and there was a deep seeded fear in his heart that it was something much worse that her simply leaving them. Somehow he almost wished that was the case. If she had suddenly had a change of heart and wanted to leave then he could deal with that heartbreak. It was the fear that something was wrong, that her and Everlyse were hurt or lost - that was what really tore him apart.

He finally unfolded the piece of fabric that he had carried here, spreading it out in front of him and exposing the small bundle of flowers and small meal that had been hidden within. He grit his teeth against the emotion that threatened to strangle him and the tears that welled up in his eyes, making the silver hue of them glitter faintly. This was a vacation that he had planned well before the pack's move to Auster - one that he had planned to take with Azariah once they were settled in their new home. It was a far cry from the grand plans he had originally put together with the feast he would have prepared for them and the huge display of flowers that he had planed to gather and lay out here for her before they arrived. It hit him how pitiful it was for him to be here alone with just scraps of what he would have had, but it also felt like a bit of closure. It was another turning point - one that he was creating for himself.

A deep, body wrenching sob shook his form before he could stop it and that was all it took to open the flood gates of his emotions. He tucked his head down under his paws, hiding his face as his shoulders shook with silent sobs and tears stained his cheeks. He hadn't wanted his children to see him break so this felt like the only solution to let himself actually feel this loss so that he could refocus on where he was actually needed. He knew that there was a possibility that Azariah and Everlyse was still out there somewhere, but he had spent too much of his time and energy on trying to find them. There was still four children that desperately needed him and he had to let himself mourn the loss of his fiancé and daughter even if there was the chance that they might reappear in his life. This was the closing of a chapter and giving himself permission to move on even if the hope that his mate was alive and well would never really leave him.

Word count: 1172

Walk | "Talk" | think

The ever observant Aegis of the Hallows had seen her Templar pack up and leave. She knew that this wasn't a permanent departure and so she wasn't terribly worried. She was concerned, about his mental well being, however. With his woman and child having disappeared, she knew exactly what he was going through. Hadn't the same happened to her not once, but twice? The first incident had been a little more bloody, but the second had been a complete fluke; a result of natural disaster. And so, she would give him a bit of time, but hours later the giant woman would leave her castle and venture out into the wilds, following Ulric's scent to the edge of Hallows territory. Resin seated herself in the same path that Ulric had taken to reach whatever destination he had in mind. There she would wait, ready to intercept him so that they might walk back to the castle together. There was much to talk about. Though the ashen woman was generally seen as cold, she genuinely cared about the well being of the wolves under her care. "Speech"

He wasn't sure how long it was before the tears finally stopped and his breathing finally returned to a normal, steady rhythm. He felt empty, but not necessarily in a bad way. All of that hurt and anger and disappointment that had been building and building behind this facade had finally been released out into the world. This emptiness was almost like a relief. Instead of feeling pain, he just felt numb. He let his paws slip away from his face and he blinked his eyes against the sunlight as he opened them again. His eyes felt dry and achey and his cheeks were completely damp from his tears - small prices to pay in order to get his emotions out of his way.

Ulric stood and walked to the edge of the pool of water, looking at his reflection for a moment before dunking his head under the water, rinsing off the tracks the tears had made in his fur and cooling his irritated eyes. After shaking the water off he sighed and turned to go back toward the castle, abandoning the mini "picnic" and the scrap of fabric he had brought it in. He quickly realized that it wasn't the meal he was interested in - he hardly brought enough to be more than a snack anyway. What he had really wanted was to just walk through the motions and make himself realize that she was gone. He needed that moment of catharsis and he had gotten that.

When he neared the border of the pack he glanced up from the ground in front of his feet and was surprised to see Resin sitting ahead of him. It made his steps slow for a moment as he tried to wrap his head around facing another wolf again before giving up on that entirely and walking toward Resin anyway. There wasn't many wolves that he would be comfortable being around in his current state, but Resin was one of the select few on that list. "Resin? What are doing out here?" he asked as he drew closer and stopped in front of her.

Walk | "Talk" | think

In time, Ulric came into view. Before he noted her presence, she could see the discomfort on his features. She had known that he would return. That he wouldn't abandon his remaining children. His mate and one child were gone, but there were more children that needed him. The whole pack needed him. There were many things to discuss and Resin hoped that giving the man more responsibility would take his mind off of the things that he couldn't control. Low tones asked what she was doing there and the scarred woman scoffed ever so slightly, though amusement danced in her lone golden orb. "Waiting for you to return." Rising from her place, the older woman's joints cracked and popped. She turned and motioned for him to walk beside her. "How are you feeling?" His mental state was important. No doubt he was mourning the loss of his woman and child. The disappearance of Azariah and... whatever the pups name had been... was sudden. Even she couldn't guess whether or not the pair were still alive or had died somewhere. It was a heavy weight for the man to bear, she knew. If he needed time away, she would pick up the slack in his absence. Resin would care for his children until he was able to pull himself together again. Ah, but perhaps he was like the Aegis and could back his emotions into a corner for the greater good. Either way, asking how he was feeling was a very good start to finding out just what kind of wolf he was. "Speech"

He supposed the answer should have been obvious without him having to ask, but he still hadn't expected the Aegis to be waiting here for him specifically. Silently, he was grateful. Walking and speaking with Resin would give him a moment to recenter himself before he had to face his children again. He knew they would worry enough on their own without his own emotional state concerning them more. He nodded quietly to her motion for him to follow and he easily fell into step beside her, his silver gaze lingering on the ground a few feet ahead of them as they walked.

He didn't respond right away when she asked how he was feeling. He wanted to be honest with her, but he also didn't feel like revisiting the emotions he had just spent so much time emptying out of his system. "I'll be okay," he rumbled truthfully after a moment of silence. Perhaps he wasn't at that point right now, but he would be - for the sake of all of them. Not only did he still have four children to look after, but he didn't want to let Resin or the pack down either. He took her offer to teach him how to lead a pack very seriously, even if his dream of leading his own pack had fallen far to the wayside in the recent months.

"What about you?" he asked, glancing toward her curiously. The pop of her joints hadn't gone unnoticed, though he would never point it out specifically. As much as he looked up to her as a leader, he also cared about her as a friend so her well being was just as important to him as anything else.

Walk | "Talk" | think

Ulric answered and it was a response that she was pleased with. He would be okay. The man didn't deny that he was hurting, but he wouldn't let it beat him. In return, Resin merely nodded, accepting his words. If he didn't wish to get into it, then she wouldn't press him. His word that he would power through his current predicament was good enough for her. She would expect another to take her word, so she would take Ulric's in turn. When the question was directed at herself, the woman rumbled lightly. She kept her pace leisurely, a walk rather than her usual lope. "Old and not getting any younger. Feeling it more each day." The hard years as a fighter and leader had taken their toll. Her bones creaked. Her healed shoulder ached on bad days. She was starting to slow down. Starting to feel tired. "But I'll be okay as well." She wouldn't let something as silly as her body stop her from doing what needed to be done. She never had and she would fight it for as long as she could. "I've an idea to propose to you, Ulric." She cast the man a side eye. What she was proposing was a heavy burden, but he had expressed the desire to rule. Well here was his chance. "My children won't be ready to rule The Hallows for a while. If something happens to me, I'd like you to take over as Aegis on the promise that you will hand over power when both you and the pack feel that one of my children is ready." He would get his experience. He would be able to show his children what it was to be a leader just as she was showing her own. Would he agree, however? That was yet to be seen. "Speech"

He nodded simply in response to her answer as well, knowing that she wouldn't want him to press her on the matter either. She had a couple of years on him, but even still he could easily see from all of the scars she wore that her body had been through far more than his had. He had started noticing a few quirks of getting older himself so he could only imagine what she could be feeling. As always though, he appreciated her dedication and willingness to push through to care for her pack. It was something he had always tried to do for himself and his family and expected nothing less from Resin.

His gaze had drifted back to the path ahead of them in the pause during their conversation, but when she spoke about a proposition he glanced back toward her with curiosity. He couldn't even begin to guess what she would have to offer him that she hadn't already. A couple of ideas came to mind, but what she actually offered him caught him off guard. Ulric slowed to a stop as he looked at Resin with shock, waiting for her to admit that she was joking or had made a mistake. Yes, he had always had a desire to lead his own pack, but never would he have expected Resin to trust him with The Hallows.

He didn't respond right away, taking a moment to process the request. Maybe he had always assumed that Tamsyn would take the reins if Resin could no longer lead or perhaps one of her children would take the role while she advised them or some combination of the two... But the fact that she trusted him enough to offer him the position to keep the pack safe until one of her children was ready was touching. "I would be honored," he finally agreed with a dip of his head, a smile pulling at his lips - the expression feeling rare on his face these days. For at least a moment he felt excited about the future and even more sure that putting his loss behind him to refocus on the pack was the right decision.

Walk | "Talk" | think

Ulric agreed to her proposition and rather quickly at that. There was experience in it for him, but there needed to be something more. "It would be beneficial to both parties if we could eventually join our lines." If their offspring wed, then both lines would have a hold on The Hallows. It would feel less like he was working for her rather than working for their pack. She wouldn't force the issue, however. It was simply something to consider. "How are your children faring?" She had seen the pups in passing here and there. Jane seemed to be the most energetic of the bunch. They weren't bad children, they were just... lacking confidence, she would say. Who could blame them with their mother and sister missing? "I'd like them to help my children in caring for the alpacas. It will teach the lot of them responsibility and discipline." It might very well take their minds off of the tragedies that they'd lived through as well. Plus having all of them work together would help to bring Ulric's bunch out of their shells perhaps. "Speech"

Ulric gave Resin a surprised glance at the idea of joining their lines. It was so hard to imagine his children growing up enough to eventually have mates and children of their own, though he logically knew it would happen eventually if any of them wished for it to be so. It was hard to even guess who they might be interested in sometime in the future, who they might be attracted to... all things that were difficult for a father like himself to imagine. He chuckled softly and simply replied, "Perhaps one day," he agreed with a nod. They still had plenty of growing to do before something like that became a reality.

When Resin questioned how his children were doing he sighed softly and gave a small shrug. "They're all taking it differently. Jane seems to be doing the best of the bunch - always the optimist that one. Emile is taking it harder than she is and then Ezra... Ezra was a handful before all of this happened and now..." He sighed and gave a shake of his head. He had such a hard time connecting with the boy and the more he tried the more Ezra pushed him away. He glanced toward Resin again when she brought up having the children help with the alpacas that the pack had begun raising. He easily nodded in agreement, seeing absolutely nothing wrong with giving the lot of them a dedicated task within the pack. "Absolutely, I think that's a great idea for them. Might get them to be closer with your children as well. They need to be close with someone here other than me."

That sparked another idea and he added, "If you don't mind... could you try training a bit with Ezra? He's the only one of my children that have taken any interest in fighting and lately he's just been putting up more and more of a fight with me about doing any training. I think it's just because it's coming from me so I'd be curious to see how he reacts to you."

Walk | "Talk" | think

The suggestion to join their lines seemed to shock the man a bit but it was a very diplomatic way to join their houses and give both of their families equal holds on The Hallows. At the very least, it would be payment for the service that he'd agreed to do for her. Though only a few years younger than the Aegis, Ulric would have more time with her children to see them grown if something should happen to her. One dark ear swiveled as Ulric began to speak of his children. Jane was doing well, Emile, less so. Ezra was the worst of them. She could understand the anger in a child that had lost its mother and felt helpless to do anything about it. Naturally, the one remaining parent would receive the brunt of the negative emotions. When Ulric asked her if she'd look in on his son, she agreed. "I'll see to him." She would teach the boy fighting if she had to in leu of his father. She would give him tasks to complete so that he wouldn't have enough energy to fight against what had already transpired. The pair was nearing the edge of the territory and Resin stopped, eyeing the outline of the castle towers in the distance. Storm clouds threatened more snow and a huff of air was expelled through the woman's dusty blue nose. "We need more. The cold has made some of the pack complacent. Each and every body should be out gathering food, fortifying the castle against drafts, collecting firewood." She might very well have to light a fire under their tails soon enough. "Speech"