And I don't wanna let 'em down

It was hard for him to get away now. His right paw was heavily bandaged, and he couldn’t walk without hobbling. His other three paws all sported burns, and he lost count of how many gauze litteres his chest, shoulders, and general upper body. He looked like he had gone through the jaws of a giant big cat and been spat back out again.

It was hard for him to get away, because his injuries were the result of his second attempt to rejoin Zee. But he felt stifled, and cooped up in his recovery bed. He had spent some time in the Hallows, and then made his way back to the Armada. He hadn’t stayed there long, however. There was another wolf out there who deserved to know what happened.

He had remembered how Zee and Deathbelle had been friends before he had come to see Zee as something more. Things might have taken a rocky turn, but she deserved to know.

He stopped outside Habari pack borders, taking a breather as he leaned heavily against an old oak tree. He would understand if she decided not to answer his call. He raised his head, and howled for his childhood best friend.



"Speech"

Deathbelle curled around her two remaining children and held onto them tightly. She felt more empty inside than anything before. Losing her son, knowing he was dead, was nothing like she had ever experienced. Losing Archon had been devastating, seeing Incubus disappear, neither of those events held anything to what she felt now. Losing a child was the deepest wound. She went through the motions, doing her duties and caring for her children as they mourned the loss of Fortune… and Harbingr. They both weighed heavily on her mind, and for days now she had cried and become more and more hollow. Numbness had taken over, a defense mechanism for the pain that held her so tightly.

The sound of Sirius’s voice only barely made her stir. Belle lifted her head, her listless features not even curious as her thoughts wrapped around a wolf she had once refused to be separated from. How long ago had it been that Deathbelle had wanted none other but Seer’s arms wrapped around her shoulders? She couldn’t forget how close they had once been, enough that she had nearly considered them two parts of the same whole. Now… Now she couldn’t imagine another wolf who felt more opposite to her.

Reluctantly Deathbelle lifted herself from the den and her two young children and carefully made her way towards the falls. Her fur lacked the luster it once had, she’d lost weight, and no longer carried herself like the Empress she once was. Decorated paws Carried her to the equally broken man, Sirius was a mess, maybe more so than she felt.

The greeting that would have once held some bite couldn’t be mustered as her own dull gaze gifted to his handsome features. Maybe if she didn’t know true loss her heart would have found the familiar throb that he caused in her chest, but Deathbelle was past feeling anything. What was once a heart was now a deep dark hole. ”Sirius.” She said softly instead, all of the grandeur once in her voice now crumbled like the soul withered inside.

And I don't wanna let 'em down

He waited a time, not truly expecting her to show. When she did, she looked haggard around the edges, with grief in her eyes. He stared at shock at his Princess, his phoenix in the ashes. The wolf he could no longer call ‘his’ in any way or form, though the word still lingered on his tongue.

What had happened?

He jerked slightly, as through to move closer to her, but he stopped himself. Holding himself apart. Brows furrowed, he parted his mouth, but he could no longer find the words to tell her what had happened to his Wife and child.

Instead, something different came out. “Deathbelle… What happened.”

"Speech"

She lived for the two young children that awaited her within Habari’s boundaries, those innocent little lives needed her. Deathbelle had to harden herself or perish, and the latter wasn’t possible. Recluse relied on her along with her son and daughter that still remained. However haunted she might be by the sweet features of her lost child. Her once jewel like eyes didn’t leave Sirius as she slowed and lowered herself to her haunches, making no move to close the distance between them.

She was a coward, having been unable to truly face him or Zee since she’d run from him after that kiss. Maybe life wouldn’t have been this way if she hadn’t faltered and made such a pivotal mistake.

Sirius looked like he was about to say something and changed his mind, questioning her bluntly as he took her in. No longer the supreme ruler she had once been. ”Life happened. I suppose.” Deathbelle returned softly, knowing he wanted more than such a vague answer. She was hesitant to say the words out loud and they hesitated on her tongue. ”The never ending cycle of loss.” Maybe that was why she clung to her youngest children. They were all she had left in the world. She swallowed her emotions hard and averted her gaze from Seer for a long moment, struck again by the terrible empty feeling of knowing Fortune was dead.

And I don't wanna let 'em down

She was broken, as broken as he was. He looked sadly at the wolf whose protection had been his one sole duty in life for long. His childhood friend, the wolf he had almost given his life for. The wolf he had hurt, and helped to tear apart well he sought individualism. When he sought to make something. It should never have come at the price of her happiness.

The never ending cycle of loss

Deathbelle had only ever wanted to love, and somehow the world just kept throwing her punches. He thought of Zee, he thought of Archon. She had managed to live through it. Proving what he already knew - she was stronger then he was. Tears welled in his eyes, and he blinked them away. The Warlord never used to be teary. Turned out losing the love of your life changed you.

“....I don’t know what to say” Sorry had never been enough, and wouldn’t help her now. He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t add more to her losses, he couldn’t share his grief.

"Speech"

Deathbelle returned her gaze to Sirius and his bright blue eyes as he took her in. She could see the tears welling in his eyes, and feel the tension that rolled off him as it did her. She could see his wounds as plainly as he could see hers. He said nothing and stood before her unmoving. Hiding nothing but the exact words. Deathbelle looked at him closer, almost peering as she tried so hard to push through. Sometimes she could take it a day at a tie and sometimes she had to count out the hours. But the next breath seemed to find her again every time, because she had to.

The once Empress pulled her thin shoulders back and lifted her head. A far cry from the royal pose she once held, but more impressive than the woman there a minute before. ”Tell me, Seer.” She prompted him with gentle care, sensing a similar fragility from the strongest man she had ever known.

And I don't wanna let 'em down

Tell me.
The same words he had given Deathbelle, when she had returned alone from the vulcano.
Tell me he had demanded. Soft, but unyielding.
Tell me he has whispered, as she tore at him in anger and sorrow, until she had found the words to share her loss. He had tried to be there for her, thinking he understood. Realising now he hadn’t even been close.

“She’s gone.”
He closed his eyes, and hung his head, hearing the failure in his own words. Who had Deathbelle lost now? He knew through Recluse that Magnus had not returned to her. So who?

"Speech"

Deathbelle was brought right back to the worst day of her life, or what had been. Knowing Fortune was dead surpassed any agony she had experienced previously. Still, she could see the scar she left on him from that day, and the scar that remained on her heart from the loss of her husband. The man she had given her all to. Deathbelle braced herself as Sirius steeled himself and finally spoke. She both expected and didn’t the words that came next. She’s gone. Zee was dead.

Belle was forced to return to a different time, a time that was a lifetime ago. Young Zee, a gift from her husband turned to handmaiden. The development between the three of them, the pain they caused her… After everything that pain had been fully dissolved they had been through so much together and now the woman was gone. The once Empress knew exactly how Sirius felt in that moment. Loss beyond belief he had come to her.

Tears sparkled in her eyes, she thought she was numb and couldn’t feel anything else. But here he was breaking her heart again. The once Empress moved forward slowly, aiming to wrap her neck around his lowered one as she aimed to hold him close to her chest and relieve some of the pain and sorrow that crippled him. She knew too well the emotions that flowed through him and if she could have Belle would have ripped the hurt from him.