Gypsy was settled and asleep, something that Indigo was grateful for. She had a long few days, a long life really. He was glad to see the peaceful look on her face when sleep finally took her. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he gestured to Duchess and had her follow him out of the castle and out onto the beach where they could talk about everything that happened. His vibrant tail hung at his hips and his head was low as he paced but deep in thought. There was so much going on behind his eyes, but all the boy wanted was to curl around Duchess and cry about what he had seen today. Those were not the actions of a strong leader though and instead he slowed to a stop and lowered himself to his haunches. Eagerly he invited Duchess closer, wanting her embrace as they spoke.

”I can’t even think about where to start.” He said softly as he pulled Duchess closer to his chest and lowered his head over her own. As close to her as he could get. They both saw something terrible in the poor she wolf Indy returned with. He wasn’t certain of her future, but he knew that with their care she would survive physically. It was the wounds deeper than that he feared most.

Location: Amron's Castle

While Duchess was comfortable beside Indigo in their den room, she was too, haunted by what she experienced with their new arrival. She laid motionless with her eyes closed like she was sleeping, but her mind churned with emotions she hadn’t quite felt before, or at least about somebody else.

She immediately responded when Indigo stirred and then motioned for her to come along with him. She followed obediently, careful not to wake any others that shared the den with them.

She followed all the way out to the shores, she lingered behind as he paced back and forth with emotions she hadn’t seen from him before. She didn’t blame him though, it was harsh experiencing and wondering what had happened to Gypsy. When he stopped and invited her in, she quickly found her place in front of him and embraced him as he moved in to her.

She didn’t know what all she wanted to tell Indigo. It wasn’t really because it was Gypsy’s place to do so but she didn’t think Indigo could handle it. He was a massive, strong brute on the outside, but on the inside she had seen almost every bit of vulnerability under him, or at least she thought so.

She stayed quiet for a good moment, but finally she spoke out, “Her scars are a lot worse under her coat.” Surely after the dirt was washed away her sight may have been appalling just to imagine how every mark happened. She paused a long while, her paw traced gently at Indigo’s foreleg and she rubbed her head into his knowing that he couldn’t have liked all the emotions he was feeling inside. “Indigo, she…” she could barely get it out, it was almost too painful for her to say perhaps because of her own trauma, “She was shaking during her bath. Like me.”

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

Duchess leaned into him easily as he pulled her closer, unknowingly seeking out her comfort as she pressed herself against him. There was a chill wind from the ocean that played with their fur, but all the boy could focus on was the warmth he felt from Duchess, surface deep was easiest to feel. Where their fur mingled and they shared heat, but also deeper. Like the hole in his chest was woven over with delicate silk. Woven expertly by the dainty woman he held onto. As much as his own mind was reeling he could tell that Duchess felt the same way, just trying to comprehend the girl he found left him speechless.

They were silent for a long moment after Indigo initiated the conversation, Duchess gathered her thoughts and Indigo tried to settle his mind. He just wished that Gypsy could open up and realize she was safe now, but Indigo was also aware of how much damage they needed to heal before that was possible. They were on the right path, she actually looked peaceful when she finally fell asleep. One good night was far from adequate though, there was much more progress to be made.

Indigo knew that he could be open with Duchess about the emotions he had building inside, but he hid his secrets even from her. The longer he hid himself the harder it was to tell her everything. She deserved to know about Aslatiel and his heart after everything they had been through together, and yet he still hadn’t said a word. There was so much on his mind, so much loss he was trying to process and deal with. It was all just easier to focus on someone else’s pain, in a twisted way knowing someone suffered more than him helped buoy the young Fatalis.

Dark ears fell back against his skull as Duchess spoke up, her own observations aligning exactly with Indigo’s suspicions. Gypsy lived a terrible life, worse even than could be first guessed. ”Are they?” He whispered softly as he focused on her gentle reassurances. His calm demeanor no indication of the whirlwind of emotions that consumed his insides. Duch went on hesitantly, she captured his whole attention. Unable to hide that which was beneath any longer Indigo averted his head and huge cat like claws extended into the sand. Looking like he had been physically struck by the idea put in his head. Abused like Duch, but undoubtedly worse. Indigo grit his teeth as he growled involuntarily. ”No one will ever touch her again.” It was all he could do was change the course of the future but never change the past.

She held her breath as he tensed, a growl leaving his throat, but she wouldn’t see him like the terrifying beast she saw when they had first met. She exhaled, holding him tighter, knowing that really there was no way to soothe the rage inside him. She too could feel the same way, not wanting anyone to hurt the girl again, Indigo was able to protect her from it.

She had a glimpse of Indigo feeling the same way about her. Of course, it was an obvious feeling but she had never really thought about it. Maybe she thought Indigo was here to fix her instead of protect her. But now that she heard the words come out of his mouth, she directed the promise not only to Gypsy, but to herself as well.

She pulled her head back slightly, not wanting to disconnect their touch, putting her forehead to his so she could try to look into his eyes, darkened from the night around them. “I know you will protect us, Indigo.” If anything it was to show her confidence in him, for him to see that she trusted him with her own life, that she had no harsh feelings about the strays he kept bringing in. She didn’t know what could happen in their future, but she felt like she was the most important girl in Indigo’s life. Of course she was wrong, but there were no reasons to believe otherwise.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

Even through the deep darkness that grabbed a hold of him Duchess could see through it to the small uncertain soul within. As he looked away, horrified, she was right there. She pressed her forehead against his own, a sign of the emotions that they shared. Of the trust that she had in him. Guilt rekindled in his chest, and struck him hard as she spoke again. She trusted him to protect both of them to keep Gypsy and herself safe from the terrors they’d once faced. He squeezed his eyes and jaw shut, overwhelming himself.

A soft whine escaped him then, evidence of the difficulties he struggled through while at the same time he pulled Duchess closer. Indigo pressed her against his chest and lowered the both of them into the sand. He curled around her, tears pricking at his eyes as the day crashed down on him like the waves at their paws. ”Duchess,” he spoke through his clamped jaw, the empty feeling within was replaced by hopelessness.

”I have to tell you.” Would she feel the same once she knew about Rue? What would she say if he told her about where his true feelings lay. How she could never have his heart because it belonged to someone else? Would she leave him alone? ”My friend, Rue.” He started softly, burning his features in Duch’s dark fur. ”I couldn’t protect her. I promised to keep her safe and…” He hadn’t kept his promise. She was ripped to pieces while still alive, her screams still haunted him everyday. ”I was too late to save her.” He knew his tears were wetting her fur now, but Indigo couldn’t pull away. He clung to her like his life depended on her closeness while he struggled with his second secret.

Duchess could pretend to understand and feel what Indigo was feeling. But she did not understand. She had assumed from the day they met that they were in similar situations, that he had a girlfriend that left him like Draco had to her. She was unprepared for the truths that he gave her.

If he thought she would see him as less of a man, less capable of protecting her or Gypsy, he was wrong. She only attempted to feel the sorrow and loss he felt, she wished she could pull it onto herself which she had wished a time before for him. She would always wish to take his ill feelings away from him, even at the cost of her own suffering.

Duchess used her cheeks to rub at his, wiping the tears away and almost feeling the need to cry herself seeing him like this. She held strong though, she always did. She never wanted to plague Indigo with her own tears and sadness even if she had slipped a couple of times.

“I promise I’ll keep me and everyone else away from something like this.” It may have been a hard promise to keep, but taking care of Indigos outcasts came natural to herself. She wanted to help them as much as he did, wanted them to know they were safe and eventually loved.

She confessed, “I want to take your pain away, Indigo.” He may have felt the same way but she believed she wanted to for him more. She was not intending any sensual nature of her words, she was genuinely confessing, if not the whole truth, that she would take his pain and put it on herself. She exhaled again, realizing she had been holding her breath again, trying to keep herself contained for his moment.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

Truly there was nothing that Duchess could do, if there was, Indigo would have done everything in his power to accomplish his goal. He was powerless. Powerless to save Rue, his grandmother, or to make Gypsy trust him. He felt like he was a failure, but then he felt Duch’s gentle touch against his cheek. Teary blue eyes blinked open as she held onto him, trying desperately to share the heavy weight he carried on his shoulders. She’d been with him through so much already, though not together for very long Indigo earned her trust and devotion. Realizing that fact brought more tears to his eyes. The young man didn’t deserve an ounce of it from her. Indy clung to her because it was easier than facing his hard truths. He led her on a fantastical trail that would never lead where she wanted. He hid his deepest darkest secrets from her because it was too hard to say them.

She loved him and Indigo allowed her to when the feeling would never be fully reciprocated. Aslatiel held tightly to his heart, there was no other wolf he loved as much. And yet he couldn’t tell Duchess because there was also a part of him becoming attached to her. He didn’t completely understand if it was love or dependency. She was a medication to ease his symptoms, a way to get high while he felt so low. Duchess was special to him, and he was lying to her by omission. By not being upfront with who he really was beneath.

Duchess promised to do her part so he didn’t have to relive what happened to Rue, she would devote herself as much as Indigo was to the poor souls that crossed his path. More than that was her promise to him, she wanted to take his pain and heartache. ”Duchess,” he started. Didn’t she know just being here with him like this was exactly what he needed. Someone to show his weakness to, who understood or at least offered a shoulder to cry on. Someone to hold him while Aslatiel could not.

Indigo squeezed her tighter, one cat like paw holding her shoulders as he pressed her to his chest, and the other at her hips as he held her body close to his. Indy squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth as he buried his face into her soft fur. His last confession sitting at the tip of his tongue. The very reason he was here to begin with. Yet the words remained unsaid, and the tension lingered in his form. ”I need you,” he told her, but kept the reason he needed her obscure. ”It hurts so bad. I...” His chest and the massive hole where his heart should be. He stopped again tongue tied and not strong enough to confess.

Duchess was obedient in the ways Indigo wanted her. Where he touched her, how he held her, whatever he wanted from her she would give him. It could have been more toxic than healthy, not that either one of them seemed to catch on to. But she also nearly read his mind to what he wanted from her, their movements were smooth transitions and nothing was ever forced. It only made her believe more that she was the most important one in Indigo’s life.

Her own chest clenched as he spoke again, and she still held back the urge to lay there, cradled by him, and cry. Her neck and head curled around is face under his chin, holding him in whatever way she could. “I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.” She assured him. She wanted him to know she would never leave, he would always have her. He never had to worry about waking up one day to her absence.

Duchess nuzzled gently at his jowl, keeping his affection but wanting him to know nothing had changed after their deeper moments together. Duchess was here for him to empty out his feelings onto her just as much as she was here to let him forget the feelings. “I need you just as much as you need me.” She spoke quietly, putting them on an equal field. But even if she didn’t know the secrets Indigo was holding, it was true. Indigo did help her as much as she helped him, and his love, maybe not a drug to her, but it was definitely essential to her life.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

She curled against him, holding him tight as he finally succumbed to the storm of emotion he’d shoved deeper and deeper inside. The dam was breaking and yet he held back, he held on to that last secret holding the two of them apart. He clung to it like he clung to her now refusing to let go because of what if. It wasn’t like Aslatiel and Duchess would be separate forever, surely she would know something was going on as soon as every moment alone was with his sister. He opened his mouth to try and explain further as she told him he’d never have to be without her. She’d be right beside him, always.

His whole body ached as he struggled within himself. He wanted to confess, to tell her exactly what was going on instead of leading her on. He hated himself for not having the strength to go on with what he needed to say. For both their sakes. He opened his eyes and looked out over the ocean as he held onto her tighter despite everything inside of him. She needed him just as much as he needed her, she confessed after she nuzzled his jaw reassuringly. He should have been the one to be strong in front of her instead of the other way around. The world had a great habit of reminding him of the lost little boy he really was. No matter how ‘grown up’ he felt today.

Indigo closed his eyes again, tucking his chin against her. His heart ceased to beat as he questioned her, opening the box like he’d never intended to. ”Duchess, do you... love me?” Indigo really didn’t deserve her. The devotion she showed him was far too good for anything he could offer in return. He didn’t have the capability of loving her as much as she loved him. His other piece was not beside him, that was why he clung to her so hard. He was forbidden from Asla. It was all a game, a mask, to get him through, but he was weak and couldn't even hold himself together.

He’d opened the can of worms, he asked what he never should have pressed. Naiche knew about he and Aslatiel, he’d told her he loved her. If Duchess felt the same way then she deserved to know him fully. He didn’t know what would happen, but he wanted to do the right thing, even if he’d failed to this point. Indigo should have told her the night he got back from the funeral.

The question nearly took the breath out of her, but she still tried to remain calm and not panic. Though she wasn’t exactly sure why she felt panic. She waited a moment, silent, not even sure how she wanted to respond.

“I…” She trailed, showing a clear struggle but as she had before, she stayed close to him not pulling away, still wanting his embrace even with the uncomfortable situation. “I love being beside you. I love helping you. I love everything about you.” She almost hesitated, reaching her paw out to his own arm, “I just…” Duchess couldn’t deny the amount of love she felt with Indigo, but it didn’t feel right to say so.

She paused again, not sure if she would be hurting him with what she was saying. Maybe she was even hurting herself. They had only known each other a season. Duchess still felt entirely open and loyal to Indigo. But just like she was in the beginning of their relationship, she didn’t want to jump too far too fast. “I do want to stay with you the rest of my life, Indigo. But I feel like it’s too soon to say out loud.”

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

He couldn’t look at her, but he still held on tightly. His head rested over hers, and they spoke in hushed whispers there on the beach. Duchess didn’t try to find his gaze, and she struggled with her words just as much as he did. Indigo felt like he was torn in pieces as he tried to keep himself together as they spoke, forming his own words as he listened to her soft voice. The way she spoke about him melted away so much of the anxiety he was trapped by. Even through all of the emotion he was surprised to feel relief win out over them all. He hadn’t failed completely, she wasn’t willing to say yet that she loved him. Maybe.. Maybe he’d spared them. His paws caressed the back of her neck as he tried to dissipate his own nervous energy and comfort her at the same time.

He sighed heavily as she went on, worried about the short amount of time they had been together. She hadn’t said it, but she had shown him everything but. In the way she saw him, held onto him, and depended on him. The same way he depended on her. He squeezed his eyes shut as he went on. Not wanting to let her go but he was ready to loosen her grin if she tried to get away from him.

”What if.” It wasn’t a what if it was reality and he knew it. ”What if I loved someone, I loved them so much but I… I couldn’t be with her. Then I found… you. And I could cope. I could handle being without… her. Because of you, the hole in my chest doesn’t ache quite so bad.” His words came slow and terribly as he explained, poorly. He didn’t know what Duchess would think but he knew he couldn’t let go of her.

Indigo wouldn’t go on to explain his own side, instead speaking about a girl who he couldn’t be with, Duchess was keeping him occupied while his mind drifted elsewhere. A part of her almost felt sickened, but she made herself believe that the girl was far from his reach, not threatening what she and him had together. Duchess may have been in a similar situation with Draco, but she never let him plague her mind when she was with Indigo. She tried to suffocate the threat she felt while Indigo became honest with her, honest with something he held on to for what would seem to be the entire time they were together.

While he was implying a what if, it was incredibly evident that this is what he felt in the now. She thought just moments ago his loss was that of Rue, but now he was bringing up a girl that seemed to be still living and while they may not have been allowed to be together, that could have changed in due time. She still didn’t know the extent or the relationship Indigo had with them, but she was starting to feel uneasy.

“I don’t know, I…” She faltered, she didn’t know what to say or how to say it without causing harm to Indigo or herself. She didn’t want to lose him. “I still stand by everything I’ve said.” Was all she could manage to get out. This wouldn’t affect their relationship now, she still depended on Indigo and his love. She didn’t want to let him go. It wasn’t in her to see the truth, to see the mess she was creating with him, and leave. She would never leave him.

“Indigo you need to know…” it seemed she had some of her own confessions to bring out on the table, “If Draco came back for me… I would have to go with him.” It may have started out harsh but it was turning into a different direction, “What he’s done to me I… I couldn’t defy him.” It was almost like she was asking Indigo to take care of him if he ever showed up on the doorstep. But she was bringing into the reality that they both had someone out there, someone they still loved, someone threatening to each other. Maybe she was almost threatening Indigo, she couldn’t really put her emotions together to express.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Duchess, but he was realizing that there had been avoiding it as they grew closer and he had not been completely honest to this point. He grit his teeth, his biggest regret putting all of this on her. His chest throbbed as he struggled to think of a solution, anything to patch them back up. But he was just as lost as he had ever been, and started second guessing everything. He was surprised when she admitted that she would stand by her word. No matter what, she was there for him to rely on.

Indigo nearly let himself cry again, there was so much relief knowing that he wasn’t about to lose her. He would have managed, but letting himself think about watching her walk away hurt more than he wanted to admit. He still held onto her and he tried not to listen to the voice at the back of his head that continued to question how close he allowed himself. ”I’m sorry.” He whispered softly. ”You should have known sooner.”

He didn’t know what the future held, but he knew it would be easier with her at his side. No matter what kind of hurdles they were sure to face. Indigo held her tighter as she spoke about the man who made the physical and emotional damage she bore. She had brought herself under his umbrella of protection when they were talking about Gypsy earlier, and what he said didn't change. For laying a paw on Duchess the man Draco had forfeited any claim he might have had. Indigo considered her his. Much like his father before him, he would die protecting what he loved.

”He won't touch you again.” Indigo promised her, threat or not. If Indigo caught wind the man was coming back for Duchess he wouldn’t hold back his fury. Indigo didn’t do right by her, and he was trying to fix his mistakes, but there wouldn’t be any forgiveness for what Draco did to Duchess, not from Indigo.

Duchess may have been a little uneasy with the lateness and dragging of the secret, but she was more put off by the nature of the “what ifs”, this girl coming back into Indigo’s life made her think she would be left in the dust. It is what happened with Draco, even if Draco didn’t love the new girl prior or ever.

She found a comfortable curve in his body to nestle her face inward as he held her tighter. But maybe she needed the embrace now that worry had set into her heart. She didn’t want him to see it, silently holding on to the feelings she felt.

He promised Draco wouldn’t touch her, wouldn’t hurt her just as he suggested about Gypsy. She expected no less of him, and she knew she could still trust him with her life. But it was entirely possible that Draco could come back and take her during a scouting, or anytime Indigo wasn’t with her. And she would go with him.

She didn’t really have anymore words, laying there swirling inside her own head. She waited for a few more moments, surrounded and lost in Indigo’s mane. She pulled her head back finally, pushing forward gently to offer him a kiss. But the kiss she offered was almost sad, not like anything they had ever shared before. She didn't shed any tears though. For tonight, she would stay strong.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

He knew it wasn’t right or alright, nor was he forgiven even if she hadn’t up and left him. Indigo realized early on she deserved so much more than he could give her, and yet she remained. Curled up even tighter in the crook of his neck and against his huge form. There was a discernible difference, and it was all because he hadn’t made himself honest to begin with. He was terrible at wearing the mask, he felt too deeply and loved too easily. However intensely he felt about Duchess, Aslatiel had long stolen away his heart. He closed his eyes, very suddenly feeling like all of his mistakes were laid out before him, obvious as the ocean that continued to beat against the sand beach.

He hoped that she knew she could ask him anything and he’d tell her now. He’d kept the fact to himself for so long, she didn’t deserve less. Indigo sighed softly as he held her, disappointed in himself, but so grateful for the girl. He’d move mountains for her if he had to. Indigo wasn’t lying when he’d told her that he needed her. If that man even so much as sniffed in Duch’s direction Indigo was ready to defend her. He wouldn’t have second thoughts about taking a life. Not when it came to the wolves he cared for, Indigo had already lost too much.

After everything he said and had done to her Duchess still lifted her features to his lips. Indy closed his eyes and savored the moment, embracing how different he made what lingered between them. He’d failed no matter the outcome of tonight, because of his own miserable mistakes. He didn’t know whether to hold back now or dive in further, Indy returned Duch’s affection, craved it like he was having withdrawals. Not listening to that voice at the back of his head. It felt right so it had to be right.

Indigo embraced the deep feeling of loss that had lingered just over his shoulder all day, the rush of emotion from the day, from talking to Duchess now, from the hits he was taking left and right. He accepted all of it, and he collapsed under it with Duchess in his arms.

Indigo gently pushed forward, his movements matching Duchess’ own lips but while he may have been asking for more, she wasn’t feeling under pressure to do so and wanted the same.

Her paws reached out and rubbed at his chest and forelegs, but their kisses remained that same slow, emotional drug as she still felt the worry in the pit of her stomach. Being alone like this always made her want Indigo more, maybe it was because of all the extra souls in the den itself.

Her kisses may have even turned longer and slower, a heat in her shoulders as she melted in his loving presence. She stopped only briefly, her nose staying close to his and her eyes remained gently shut, “Indigo, do you want to…?” Her claws dug into forelegs as she wanted to pull him closer, a motion that almost begged for him. If he had continued to push in for kisses she would gently pull him in more through the movement of her lips, not wanting to press on until he said so. Maybe even a tease as she begged for more but refused until he agreed.

Unfortunately this wasn’t their typical run of their alone time. Duchess wanted him to show her that she really meant all he had said about her. Making love to her was a distraction in this moment thinking that he loved someone else. But if he kept doing this with her, then he must have moved on from the last one, or these were the thoughts that ran through her own mind.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

After everything, after all he confessed and did, Duchess still kissed him back her sweet lips were sad and timid. Her paws dove into the thick fur of his chest and neck, like she had before. There was no difference in the way she made it known that she needed him, he pulled her closer and explored carefully. She acted like putty in his paws, attuned to every touch and gentle movement. They were hesitant at first, but confidence grew in their slow movements. Duchess pulled away from him slightly and he felt another fearful strike down his chest. She didn’t slip away, and their eyes met before she spoke. The question faded out as she made herself more clear with the way she touched him.

Indy felt his lips pull back in a sly grin as he pressed forward. She wanted him and that was all that mattered right now. He lived in the present as much as he could, and there was little better in that moment than Duchess urging him onward. ”Yes,” He answered breathlessly as he pulled her closer and leaned in to close the distance between their lips again. Conflicting emotions rose up and warred inside of him but Indigo weather the assault as he drowned in all that was Duchess. The scent, taste, and feel of her beneath him as he shifted thoughtlessly.

He kissed her deeply, but shift from her lips, to her jaw, to the sensitive skin on her neck. Indigo loved her like there was nothing holding him back anymore. She knew his secrets and his weaknesses and she held him in her paw that night. He could feel the ghost of a heartbeat slamming against his chest as she took his breath away. Their bodies moved together like magic, and Indigo overdosed on her love.

As was a normal occurrence, Duchess tensed and released when Indigo went on. He showed her what she should feel like when she was with him like this, perhaps what any girl should feel like. She would never hold back from him, he had all of her always. Even if this moment, and maybe some after were purely lies to make her believe she was his number one girl. She wouldn't let him see the differences she was feeling, she still just lived in the now with him.

-fade-

She still clung to him afterwards, but maybe not as long as usual. She carefully removed herself from him, shaking the sands from her pelt. The creeping feeling of emptiness she would subside until they made it back to the room. Her paw reached down to meet his as she forced a smile, "We can go back to the room. Unless there's anything else you want to talk to me about." She wouldn't admit how weird she felt, knowing that Indigo loved someone somewhere else, but still would do anything for him. She couldn't help but feel like she was back with Draco if only to the extent that she was willing to let Indigo abuse her. But there was no reason to let the feelings extend past just uneasy. Right now she was fine, loved by Indigo, and able to move on to tomorrow like that.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.