Immediately after the tournament had ended she slipped away from the crowd that was beginning to congregate and move toward the wedding, quietly finding her way away from her family and pack so that they wouldn't see her leave. She didn't want to explain why she wasn't staying, she didn't want to come up with excuses, she didn't want to see the worry in her children's faces. She had put on a smile for the tournament and blocked Sirius' words away from her mind so that she could follow through with the commitment she had made to compete, but once it was over all she wanted was to go home. It was mid day by the time she left the birch wood forest that made up a portion of Ashen's territory so by the time she made it back to The Hallows alone it was deep into the night.

She had a feeling she knew where she would find Kane so she went out into the plains and sure enough that's where she found him. He was easy to spot sitting among the grasses of the plains, his massive, earthen-hued form was easy to pick out and she walked toward him like a moth drawn to a flame. She tried to hold off her emotions until she reached him, clinging instead to the hollow, emptiness. She walked up to him quietly, unable to look up into his eyes as she stopped in front of him, immediately pressing her face into his chest and falling onto her haunches, her forelegs wrapping around him and squeezing him tight. That was like the key to unlock the emotions she had been forcing down throughout the day. Her ears fell back against her head as she swallowed back tears that burned at her eyes.


Tamsyn Carpathius

The castle had been unusually quiet the couple of days the Hallows wolves had gone north to some other pack's summer festivals. While Kane had initially been hoping to accompany Tamsyn up, she had asked him to stay behind to help keep an eye on the castle, to keep it occupied so wandering loners didn't try to sneak in while the Carpathius and Adravendi families were out. While disappointed he wouldn't get to spend time with Tamsyn or see her in action and cheer her on in the tournament, he had obliged her request, both as a lover and as her subordinate in the pack structure. He was still getting used to an actual hierarchy structure in a pack as opposed to the looser ties of his former tribe, but he felt he was doing okay. He had mostly spent his time relaxing out in the plains, maybe indulging in a few recreational herbs he'd found growing around the castle, and generally just exploring his new home. The castle still confounded him, and he'd gotten lost a couple of times in the labyrinth of hallways and rooms.

The Hallowed wolves had been due to return on the third day, after spending the night for a wedding, or so he'd been told. So when he saw a familiar form approaching him from across the plains in the middle of the night, he sat up with a start, hazel eyes wide with delight, but clouding with worry when he saw how Tamsyn's head hung, her shoulders slumped with her stride. She looked despondent and broken, and something was very, very wrong. The dire brute got to his paws, hurrying to close the distance between them, coming to a stop only a few paces from her. She didn't look up at him, instead walking forward until she collapsed against him, her face buried in his chest. Kane's forelegs immediately wrapped protectively around his little black fae, holding her tight to his body while she crumpled into his embrace.

"Little blackbird, what happened?" he asked, doing nothing to hide the concern in his husky voice. Big paws rubbed along Tamsyn's back to try and soothe her, using his larger form to shield her away from whatever had hurt her this way. If she was back home without the rest of her family like this, something truly terrible must have happened to her. Already Kane's protective and possessive nature was starting to rear its head, wanting to hide Tam away and bite back against at whatever or whoever had upset her.

"Kane"

Being wrapped up in his embrace felt like coming home. It felt like comfort and strength that she lacked. It felt like where she was supposed to be. She leaned into him heavily and gratefully let him hold her up against him, her paws curling around paw fulls of his fur as she clung to him as if that would keep her from falling apart again. His familiar, rough voice questioned her and she didn't even know how to begin explaining the long and tangled web she was eternally trapped in. There was so much to explain to get to where she was now - at the end of her rope with nothing left to give. She had always given and given until there was nothing left for herself, a habit that she found extremely hard to break. She had tried to stop that trend when she drew her lines in the sand for Sirius and somehow he still managed to hurt her and drain her again and again.

She didn't reply right away, instead just holding onto him and breathing in his unique scent and letting it calm her. After a while she was able to loosen her hold on him a bit, but she didn't move away. She just turned her head enough to be able to rest her cheek on his chest to make it a bit easier to speak. She left her eyes closed, too afraid that tears might escape if she opened them. "I guess the extremely short version of the story is that Sirius had a mental break when he smelled your sent on me and said some... hurtful things to me," she said quietly, her brows pulling together. That only just barely scratched the surface, though as she said it out loud she knew that was more or less what had happened. Mortis had been right. Sirius was an ass and what he said wasn't true, but that didn't take away the sting.

She sighed and held him tighter, not wanting him to pull away. She knew that he would be furious with Sirius and she didn't want him to leave. If he ran off to fight him now... She might actually lose what small semblance of control she had left. She knew she had mentioned Sirius before when she had been describing her past and how she had learned from him in the Armada, but she hadn't gone much deeper than that until now so there was a lot to explain. "Back when I first joined the Armada under Zee and Sirius and I was training with him I realized that I liked him, but I never told him or ever did anything about it. He was married to Zee so I obviously wasn't going to try and come between them. I met Resin around the same time and ended up falling in love with her instead. Sirius and I were very close friends and confidants, but there was never anything romantic there. I still liked him as more than a friend, but I just left it at that."

"Everything was fine for a long time. I moved out of the Armada with Resin to start this pack and that was hard on him because he's a possessive bastard, but he let me go. It wasn't until after Resin attacked me and started to deteriorate that things started getting... strained. I know I didn't help the situation because I leaned on him really heavily at the time, but... he was really my only friend. I didn't know where else to turn and Resin had adopted him years ago so he was just as close to Resin as I was. He was here a lot while Resin was locked away." She paused her ears folding back against her head. She kept her head on his chest all though her monologue of her and Sirius' history, looking out into the night over the plains, her gaze distant. She knew she'd have to tell Kane about going to find Zee to paint the full picture, but it felt strange to tell him. It felt like Sirius' truth to tell not hers, but it fell on her all the same.

She sighed softly and forced herself to keep going as she got deeper and closer to the present day events that caused all this deep seated pain. "I was still recovering from the attack from Resin when Sirius came to me and told me that Zee had gone missing. I shouldn't have gone in the state I was in, but I did. Zee saved me, Sirius was my friend... What else was I supposed to do? I helped him track her and follow any little hint of her scent and we followed the path she told Sirius her and her son were going to take. We... We found a section of forest that had caught fire. It seemed like a campfire that had gone wrong, but I couldn't really tell. There were two bodies. Zee had antlers and one of the bodies did as well." Her voice grew more pained and hesitant as she spoke, picturing the scene in her mind. But somehow at the same time she felt detached from it as well, as if it was a whole different life time ago.

"It broke Sirius. He tried to throw himself on the embers to kill himself. I had to pull him off of them - well, try to anyway. He's as big as you are. He threw me off of him, injured my shoulder. I did eventually get him to leave them, but he blamed me for not letting him die. We loaded up the bones on a makeshift cart I made because he wouldn't leave without them." She stopped herself from telling him how she had carted them back on her own, how she had scarred her back doing so, how she had collapsed the moment they crossed into Armada territory. She knew Kane would be mad enough as it was just with what she had told him. "After that... After that and after the funeral he brought me back here on a cart. Artorias confronted him about the state I was in and I couldn't stop them from fighting. Sirius gave Artorias a knife and egged him into fighting harder and harder until Artorias stabbed him in the neck and nearly killed him. The healers here saved him and I went to check on him - and to scold him for trying to use my son to kill himself again."

"He seemed better then. More like the Sirius I knew. He was still hurting, obviously, but... When he asked me to lay with him while he slept I didn't really hesitate. He and I both don't do well being alone. We both fell asleep, but he had a nightmare and knocked us both out of the bed. I think he was still stuck in that nightmare partially and he was afraid that he had hurt me because he had hurt others that he had been asleep around before during his nightmares, but I was totally fine. Just surprised from falling out of bed and landing on him. I... I still don't really know why, but... in the heat of the moment I guess... He kissed me." She hesitated, not really knowing how Kane would react to that. "It brought back all those feelings I used to have for him and... I don't know, I guess I was just so desperate I thought... I thought maybe he could feel the same way... I told him how I felt and he shut me down." It had been stupid of her to think that. It was Zee and had always been Zee. Even in death.

"A-Anyway, um... He made it pretty clear that it was a mistake, that he did love me but platonically and that he could never love anyone but Zee. I tried to forgive him for kissing me but he still wanted to be affectionate with me after that and I... I couldn't do it. We used to hug and sleep next to each other all the time before, but now I just felt embarrassed and hurt so I set boundaries with him. I told him that I still wanted to be friends because I did still care about him and I didn't want to cut him out of my life, but I needed to draw a line on certain things. He... didn't like that very much. It was really hard to talk with him after that." She was tired and angry just thinking about that turning point. She should have just called it a loss after that and cut Sirius out of her life after that, but she hadn't. She had been too lonely, too desperate for any kind of support.

"Once he was well enough to go back to the Armada I didn't see him until... Until Resin started getting worse and I was too afraid to be in the dungeons alone with her. I did try. But just seeing her raving and attacking the bars and frail and just... It hurt too much to be down there with her by myself, but I wanted to be with her when she finally passed. I knew it wouldn't be too much longer so... I summoned Sirius to come. I didn't know who else to turn to and he had come and stayed with me in the dungeons. I thought... I thought we were okay after that. He helped me let Resin out of the dungeons when the giant dire wolves attacked and stayed with me though the funeral but he went back to the Armada and a few weeks after that is when I met you."

She finally lifted her head from his chest, tipping her head up to look at him, feeling worn and tired reliving all of these things, but at least now he would know. Now he would fully understand the pain and stress that had shaped her into what she was when he found her and know how she had gotten to this point with Sirius. She felt bad for having him just sit here listening to her ranting on and on about her life with the Warlord, but... He had to know at some point if he was going to stay with her. The last thing she wanted was for Sirius to suddenly get it in his mind that he was going to try and take her from Kane or attack Kane over her and for Kane to be blindsided by it. She wanted to be honest with him, for better or worse.

She sighed and added, "So... That brings us to the festival. After the opening feast I crossed paths with Sirius and I figured that was as good a time as any to talk to him about being with you and he smelled you on me before I could even say anything. He... He was delusional. He thought I was Zee. He thought that she had cheated on him, begged her to stop leaving him, all while thinking I was her. At first when he kind of came to and saw it was me he asked if I had seen Zee and that he was looking for her like he didn't remember she was dead. I tried to lie and get him to follow me to her so I could take him to his daughter, but then he really remembered what was going on and... and then he was just..." Her ears fell back again, guilt and pain pulling at her expression as she dropped her gaze to the ground again. Her voice was quiet as she recounted what Sirius had told her, but she knew every word. It was burned into her memory. "He asked me if Resin's body was still warm when I fucked you. He accused me of being relieved over finding a wolf with no problems so that I could run away and forget my promises to him and Resin. He said the ones I loved meant nothing to me and told me to leave and to go back to you."

Tamsyn swallowed past the hard lump in her throat as she leaned into him again, drinking in his comfort, breathing in his familiar scent. "Possessive bastard," she muttered under her breath, holding Kane tightly. "I don't know what to expect from him any more. I'm... I'm worried about what he might do. I think he's still imagining that Zee is actually there with him. I did manage to run into one of his sons and I told them what happened, but... I still love his children and that pack, I just... I don't know what he might do."

Tamsyn Carpathius

Kane would not press Tamsyn to say anything until she was ready. He simply held his lover in his arms tight to his body, clutching her like the most precious treasure in the world and let her melt into him and just come undone. She would speak on her own time when she wanted. Crickets chirped around them in the stillness of the summer night, staving off total silence while Tamsyn just held onto him like her life depended on it and breathed him in. Kane's muzzle tipped down, drinking in Tam's natural spicy-sweet smell in turn. Gods, even though it had only been a few days, he'd missed her so much. He hadn't realized just how thoroughly she'd infiltrated every aspect of his life until she was gone. There was no chance of him turning and walking away from this—not now, not ever.

In due time, Tamsyn began to tell him what had occurred. At first, his brow pulled together in a confused furrow. Sirius, the wolf that had led the pack she was once in? What did he have to do with her being in a relationship with him? Why would he try to hurt her? Weren't they supposed to be close friends? As if reading his mind, Tamsyn launched into the full story, a much longer explanation of the oversimplified answer she had just given. Kane listened silently and pensively with ears perked on his head while he rested his chin protectively over Tam's head. With every sentence, the foggy picture began to get clearer and clearer, like grime being wiped away from glass. Tamsyn had crushed on Sirius, but Sirius was married. Tamsyn fell for Resin, left to found the Hallows and have a family. Sirius was not pleased with that, as it sounded like the wolf had a superiority complex of some kind along with temper issues and controlling behaviors. A dangerous combination... Kane's frown deepened.

The story took a turn for the worse as Tamsyn reached the decline of her mate and how Sirius had helped her and her family during that time. When Tamsyn told him about how she had gone to help him find his missing mate and son, only to fly into a rage when they discovered them deceased, and how he had harmed her in the process, Kane's arms instinctively wound tighter around Tam. He was doing his best to stay calm and keep his emotions in check, but the more she talked, the hotter Kane felt the anger in him burn for this otherwise unknown wolf. Who the fuck did this asshole think he was to go around abusing the wolves that loved him like that?! More specifically, how dare he raise a paw against his little blackbird. Some of his anger burned away when he heard how her son had mutilated the bastard to the brink of death, a dark smirk turning his frown upward. Good lad, protecting his mother like that.

Tamsyn told him about the night she had shared with him in the infirmary afterwards, and how they ended up falling out of bed and the resulting kiss that followed. Kane squared his jaw to prevent from gritting his teeth, his own possessive nature beginning to show itself, but He swallowed it back with a deep breath to steady himself. Tamsyn needed him to be stable for her right now, not flying off the handle. Besides, this all occurred before him; he couldn't let himself get upset over something that had already happened without him in her life. It did make him wonder though... what was it about those tiny infirmary beds that got wolves all riled up and horny? Just like a train wreck though, the story kept going and going. Sirius shot down her feelings, yet just like an emotionally manipulative fucker, he tried to use her for physical affection afterward. He was very proud of Tamsyn for turning him down instead and putting up boundaries between them. As he expects though, this Sirius guy didn't like that, and their relationship began to crumble.

Despite how bad the story had gotten, Kane grimaced as things only got worse. He looked down to meet her tired and sad eyes with love and angry protectiveness, disgusted by the wolf that would treat her this way. Tamsyn told him how they encountered each other at the festival, how he was detached and manic, calling her by his dead mate's name and accusing her of cheating on him. But then, when he had a moment of clarity, he attacked her emotionally, the same way it sounded like he always did to hurt her. This time, Kane couldn't stop his lips from curling back from his deadly saber fangs in a silent snarl. Who the fuck did he think he was to say those things?! Was Resin's body still warm when they fucked?! Ohhh, words would be shared between the two if he were to ever meet this sorry excuse of a man. He wasn't a wolf prone to violence towards others, it went against the very tenets of his beliefs, but for Sirius he might make an exception.

The fact that Tamsyn didn't know how to predict Sirius anymore didn't bode well. It sounded like the wolf had gone fully psychotic, unhinged and out of touch with reality. A mad wolf was a dangerous threat to everyone. It did concern him for Tamsyn's safety though. Sirius knew where she lived, knew how to get to her. If he truly wanted to hurt her, or worse... His eyes narrowed into lethal slits. He would never allow harm to come to his lover. As Tamsyn's long and torrid history with Sirius came to a close, Kane gave a deep sigh and shook his head slowly. It was so much to unpack, so much to consider, and it was far too late and she was far too tired to get started on that right now. Leaning closer, Kane planted a long, firm kiss on Tamsyn's forehead, still retaining his firm hold around her.

"C'mon, I'm taking you to bed. You look exhausted," he spoke in a low rumble directly against her ear. Without waiting for her response, Kane slowly untangled himself from his lover and slid his much larger form underneath hers, hoisting her up over his back as he stood like she weighed nothing. Casting a little rueful smile back to her over his shoulder, Kane began to carry Tamsyn across the plains and back towards the castle. Everyone else was still gone, and the courtyard and corridors were totally silent. He carried Tamsyn all the way up to his bedroom in the east wing, pushing open the door and kicking it closed behind him while he brought Tamsyn over to the sizable bed tucked in the corner of the room next to the only window, left open to allow the fresh summer air in.

With a huff, he tossed her gently onto the old mattress and dense pile of furs and blankets, grinning playfully while she got herself situated and comfortable before climbing up to join her on the bed. As had become their customary sleeping position, Kane settled in on his side next to Tamsyn, letting her snuggle up into his bigger frame and get comfortable. A gentle smile touched his lips while he gazed adoringly at her, using every ounce of his self control to not go find Sirius right now and pick a fight. No, Tamsyn needed him here for her, and she mattered infinitely more than some asshole in the north. "There we go, much more comfy," he whispered as he relaxed into the bed with her, reaching a paw forward to let her snuggle into him before surrounding her in his embrace again. "Oh, my little blackbird, you have such a loving heart... He never would have deserved it..."

"Kane"

Tamsyn could see the anger in his expression that she had expected to see when she looked up at him. From their time together she had picked up on how protective he was so it certainly wasn't surprising to see him be angry at how she had been treated and talked to. For the most part Tamsyn blamed herself. She had been too blinded by her loyalty to the wolf that had pulled her out of the depression that had nearly killed her and gave her the tools to defend herself and the confidence to live her own life to see the destructive, abusive nature of her and Sirius' relationship. She still cared about her stupid, possessive bastard of a friend and it just kept hurting her. Somehow she couldn't manage to completely untangle her life from his no matter how hard she tried. Perhaps it was her experiences with Sirius and his rash behavior that made her worried that Kane might rush off to attack the Warlord, but he didn't. He surprised her by leaned down and kissing her forehead and telling her that he was going to take her to bed. She blinked with surprise and before she could respond she was being scooped off her feet.

She sputtered in shock for a moment, a grin pulling across her features despite the ache that still lingered in her chest. She caught his glance back over his shoulder at her as he began to carry her into the castle. He might have the same build and stature and fangs as Sirius, but he couldn't be more different. She sighed and chuckled at this ridiculous, caring man and shifted on his back till she could wrap her forelegs around his neck and hold herself tight to him, burying her face into his scruff, the feathers woven into his fur flicking against her neck in the breeze. She started to think about what she might have done or what she might have been like if their paths had never crossed and it was a dark trail that she didn't want to go down. She had no doubt that she would still be pining after Sirius, still aching and torn apart from losing Resin, slipping further and further into her deadly, suicidal thoughts. He kept her afloat, gave her a friend to lean on, gave her someone to love. She kept her self hidden away from the world in his thick, warm scruff until she heard him open and close the door to his room and she loosened her grip on him so that he could toss her onto the bed.

She giggled as she fell into the now familiar pile of furs and bedding, grinning up at Kane with grateful love in her mint eyes. She shifted over into her usual spot and settled herself into the pillows while she waited for Kane to join her on the bed. As soon as he was laying down with her she was quick to snuggle into his embrace, pressing herself into his chest and hiding away from the world that had been all too cruel to her. In Kane's arms she felt safe and it allowed some of that stress to melt away from her shoulders as she tried to push it all to the back of her mind, far out of reach. A sad smile pulled at her lips when he spoke of how Sirius hadn't deserved her loving heart, though he wouldn't see it with how her head was tucked into his neck. Perhaps he was right, but it was her loving heart that had made her so determined to save the Fatalis man. He had saved her so she had wanted to save him in return. She thought that maybe she had once he began to reincorporate himself into his family after Zee's death, but she had been wrong. He only slipped even further away into madness. She was going to have to cut her losses if she was ever going to save herself and Kane gave her the strength to do it.

She was quiet for a while, holding onto him and savoring his warmth and how his larger form hid her away from the outside world, listening to his heartbeat and his breathing and letting it soothe her. Kane was quickly becoming home to her and she very rarely felt as at peace as she did when they were together. She would forever long and ache for Resin and perhaps a small part of her would always care for Sirius, but Kane represented hope in her mind and that fresh, new love was intoxicating and breath taking in the most wonderful way. Tamsyn eventually lifted her head from his fur enough to be able to look up into those hazel eyes that had caught her attention from the very beginning and a smile pulled across her lips. She was exhausted form the emotional toil of the last couple of days and from the tournament fights she had been in, but she still didn't feel like she could sleep. She tipped her muzzle up to his, catching his lips with hers and giving him a slow, tender kiss that just barely began to scratch the surface of how thankful she was that he was with her. When their kiss eventually broke she opened her eyes again, looking into the eyes of the man she was quickly falling in love with.

"Kane..." she said softly against his lips, her heart fluttering in her chest as her paws slipped around his neck so that she could pull herself tighter against him. It should probably be the last thing she wanted after everything she had just been though in the last day or two, but she wanted him and the escape he offered. She wanted how good he made her feel and to be able to forget everything else. She brushed her muzzle against his while her claws trailed down the back of his neck, that deep desire and need for him that never really went away easily being sparked to life. "I just... I just want to forget any of this ever happened... Will you help me forget...?" she asked in a quiet whisper before she pressed her lips to his once more, molding herself to him and losing herself in the pleasures and desires that could wipe away the pain in her soul even for just a night.

Tamsyn Carpathius

The sound of Tamsyn's giggling laughter had quickly become one of his most favorite things in the world. Hearing and seeing her happy, from her airy laughter to her bright smile and glistening eyes made his heart feel light and his soul take flight. As he had expected, as soon as he'd gotten settled into bed beside her, Tam came wiggling over to snuggle into his embrace, pulling herself up tight to him. Kane surrounded her in his forelegs, holding her in a warm, secure blanket of love. He could feel her muscles begin to relax under his wandering paws, slowly rubbing her back that was no doubt sore and tired from carrying the weight of everyone else's problems. They were quiet for some time, lost in the darkness of the night with only the silver moonlight peeking in through the solitary window to faintly illuminate every shape and outline. In this moment, the two were truly alone with one another. There was no family or pack in the rooms and halls, no Sirius to harm or threaten her, nothing beyond them. For tonight, the entire world was theirs.

A slow smile made its way across Kane's lips while he watched Tamsyn, half sure she was already asleep. He dipped his snout down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, taking the moment to drink in her scent again that had become the epitome of love and home for him. Tamsyn had been his rebirth, the change of tone and direction in his life. No longer did he exist solely for the purposes of blind vengeance. Now he had something else worth living and dying for in this perfect fae, his flawless little black wolf. After Tiva's death, Kane had been certain he'd never feel the same for anyone else, and while a piece of his heart would always hold and cherish the first love he ever had, Tamsyn had awoken long-dead parts of him he'd forgotten could exist. It was like rediscovering love for the first time ever, and it was hot and heady and intoxicating and inebriating and he loved it. Tamsyn stirred, and Kane pulled back from surrounding her just a bit so her head could tilt up and their eyes could find one another's in the dark. She really did have the most beautiful eyes... Actually, scratch that, she really was the most beautiful wolf in the world, period.

Gazing deeply into her captivating mint eyes, Kane was more than eager to move his lips to meet hers as she caught him in a slow, affectionate kiss. There was passion and gratitude in her kiss, but this one was different than all the others they had shared. This one held a love in it that his beating, aching heart yearned for and reciprocated in turn. When their lips parted, half-lidded hazel orbs found her mint green ones with a desperate desire to love her, all of her, for the rest of time. There was no denying it now. Kane was falling madly in love with her. Tamsyn whispered his name against his lips, and the dire brute felt dainty paws slip up around his neck, the slender, athletic form of his lover pulling tighter to him. It was an action he was familiar with from her, a silent beg for the intimate lovemaking they had shared time and time again. Low grumbles of contentment left the hunter while Tam's claws ran through the fur on his neck, his muzzle moving in harmony with hers as she stoked the constantly burning fire in his belly for her. He would have done anything for her regardless, but in this moment, he was hers—entirely and unapologetically hers.

Tamsyn asked him to help her forget anything had happened. Kane replied with a roguish smirk and whispered back, "Now and always, my little blackbird..." Kane's eyes closed while he captured her mouth with his own in a deep, claiming kiss, large paws wrapping around her lower back while she molded her voluptuous body to his chiseled, scarred form. He tasted her on his tongue, letting the heated desire take him over as he moved Tamsyn's body with his, taking position atop of her prone form, his body silhouetted in the moonlight as his hips aligned to hers and pressed into her. A deep sigh of pleasure from between their kissing, and then Kane brought Tamsyn sinking into the depths of pure pleasure, love, and passion with him. By the time they were done, Kane would make sure Tamsyn remembered nothing of what happened before she came home to him.

- fade -

"Kane"