With Ulric looking after her, Aranea had been caring for herself a lot better. It was easy in the presence of him, she wanted to make him happy, or feel better about the situation. After everything that had been said, she still held the lingering love for him, the love that he didn't want to return. There was a part of her that believed he was lying when he acted like there were no real, intense feelings between them. Was he lying? Maybe his judgement was clouded by what was right and what Aranea wanted.

She knew she would never see any of her children again. She knew she was going to die here. And honestly, she wouldn't want it any other way. She was failure for everything in her life. She had never found her place in a pack, she had ruined the lives of all of her children. It would be no different for these ones. They would grow up without a mother. She had failed Tyranis, Allegro, and now Ulric. She saw herself as nothing on this earth, and the fact that she had stayed alive this long to give Ulric their children, it meant more than he could know. Because she felt like if she had done this before, birthed this children healthy, Ulric would still want her off with Allegro and his children. His children, not hers.

She had been outside of the castle walls, a den that had been claimed by her while she wasn't necessarily welcomed inside. She didn't really have the strength to make it that far anyway. The days of the pregnancy felt long but she also made it by through her illusions and the pain took away most of her time. When she felt the contractions, it was a brutal sting compared to her usual belly pains, and even of her last two pregnancies. She supposed she could have foreseen the amount of pain this birth would cause, but she was taken by surprise.

Her voice let out a call, mostly for Gwynevere, she didn't expect Ulric to be here for her. As much as she wanted him to. Her teeth grit and her claws dug into the packed soil under her as another stinging contraction went through her. She wondered if she was farther into labor than she had originally thought. And she suspected the pups would be here soon.

"Aranea"

Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger. (Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee) Scent: Lavender Alignment: Neutral Good Season: Summer Height: 26 inches Home: Somnium - Dead

Gwynevere had been out to the den where Aranea was staying a few times, mostly at Ulric's insistence to check on the lives of the unborn pups she was carrying. She didn't know the details of why Aranea was out here rather than in the castle and she didn't care to ask. Whatever it was it made Ulric look extremely uncomfortable whenever she saw him coming out here with supplies and food or whenever she came out with him to examine the smaller woman. From the examinations she had done she knew that Aranea was due to deliver these pups any day now and honestly from what she had learned from Eilwen as she conferred with the pale raven she was shocked that the pregnancy had gone as long as it had. She was hopeful for the pups that were still alive, but that hope was slowly beginning to wane as she learned more and more about the situation and the condition Aranea had put herself in.

The healer kept a bundle of herbs to help Aranea with the birth at the ready in her satchel and as soon as she heard the howl from just outside the castle walls she knew it was time. She grabbed her bag and rushed outside, Eilwen taking flight and following her out of the main doors of the castle. As she reached the castle gates she spotted Ulric running back toward the castle from a patrol and he slowed when he saw her, their paths converging as they drew close to the den where Aranea was housed. She looked up at the Aegis with a questioning glance and he told her that he would wait outside, which she nodded to quietly before slipping inside.

She sat her bag down by the entrance of the den and lifted her gaze to Aranea, her ears flicking back at the obvious pain that the woman was in. She had never witness a birth before now, but Eilwen had warned her that it wasn't a pleasant process for the mother. This seemed even worse than she had imagined though. She took out the bundle of herbs she had prepared and brought them over to Aranea, unfolding the piece of cloth that held a good amount of motherwort and trillium. She gave her the trillium first since that seemed to be the most pressing issue. "How are the contractions?" she asked softly as she went to Aranea's stomach, her paws light and gentle with their touch as she felt for the ripple and pull of muscles.

Gwynevere | Eilwen

Gwynevere was quick to arrive, not that Aranea was thankful for it. She was thankful for the girl but she knew this wouldn’t be a very successful time for her. They had already predetermined the deaths of the pups, Aranea hadn’t remembered if she told Gwynevere directly that she would die at least shortly after the pups were born. As easy as it was for her to say, she didn’t want to say it to Gwynevere.

She asked how the contractions were, and through a labored breath Aranea spoke, "Terrible, something is wrong. But I guess we already knew that." Just as she let out her last word, she clenched again, groaning lowly with a whine through the pain. When she was able to regain herself, she took some of the motherwort but left the trillium, "I’d rather you save the trillium for someone who needs it." She insisted, but she would have taken it had Gwyn insisted more.

She laid back as another rippling pain ran through her, Gwyn lightly poked at her belly while the first pup was coming through. When it arrived, Aranea hadn’t looked at it. But it was one of the ones that had died from her overdose. It was incredibly apparent given the physical condition of the mangled and somewhat decomposed pup. Aranea hadn’t looked up because she didn’t want to see them, and she wished she could shield Gwynevere’s eyes from it.

Her breath whimpered as she breathed in, getting ready to speak but she almost didn’t want ask, "Ulric?" Tears fell instantly from her emotional pain while she asked Gwyn why he wasn’t here with only his name. She didn’t know he was outside of them den, but she wouldn’t shake the memories of both Tyranis and Allegro being there for her. And somewhere deep down, she thought that Ulric would turn around and actually care about her. At least in the final moments of her life

Aranea laid back again, waiting for the next pup to come through.

"Aranea"

Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger. (Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee) Scent: Lavender Alignment: Neutral Good Season: Summer Height: 26 inches Home: Somnium - Dead

Gwynevere’s ears fell back as Aranea was gripped with pain again, worry in her mint and lavender gaze when Aranea refused the trillium she was offered. She hadn’t quite put two and two together yet that Aranea wouldn’t make it through this even though she knew how bad a condition Aranea had been in. A moment later she felt another ripple across the smaller woman’s muscles and soon after a pup appeared. Gwyn went to move the pup and her stomach churned uneasily at the sight of it. She almost couldn’t recognize it as a pup at all as it lay there still and mangled.

Her ear flicked back toward Aranea when she whined a single word question, causing her to finally lift her gaze up to the other woman’s face. “He’s sitting outside,” Gwyn assured her, though she wasn’t sure what he would do when she brought out this pup. “You should take the trillium,” she insisted again before turning back to what once was a pup and carefully picking it up as the odd, rotten smell filled her nose and made her stomach uneasy once more. She was careful to turn away from Aranea as she moved to shield the woman from the sight of it as she slipped out of the den to get it outside, but there was no way for her to warn or shield Ulric from it with him waiting just steps from the den.

She saw the sorrow and horror darken his face, but she didn’t have time to address him. She placed the first pup down in the grass before ducking back into the den to await the next pup and see if Aranea had followed her instructions about taking the trillium or not.

Gwynevere | Eilwen

It didn't make her feel any better that Ulric was outside the den. Maybe she thought it would, or it should, but it's not how she wanted it. She couldn't blame him though after everything that had happened. She hated herself just as much for what she had done, even if she wanted to die knowing he wouldn't want her after.

Aranea didn't have to look at the dead puppy, she knew as soon as it left her that it was one of the ones that had been slowly killing her. She was extremely confident about the two living pups making it through the birth, it would be after that would make it difficult to survive. They wouldn't have her, they wouldn't have a mother. They would have to learn to be taken care of in an unnatural way. She knew it wouldn't be the first time something like this had happened through history.

Gywnevere had suggested the trillium again, and she had considered just for the sake of the girl, but when she came back into the den the herb was still there. Aranea had laid quiet for a moment, she had assumed one of the live ones would be next given the pause between the birth. She took a deep breath, "Gywnevere, I'm sorry. This isn't your fault. This won't be your fault." She still spoke through tears though not because she was going to die, still thinking of the man standing outside.

When she felt the next contracts, she braced again. Only this time it was unlike any pain she felt before. It had little to do with the pups themselves, her uterus and other parts were in pain from what she had done before. At first she took a quick breath, exhaling. Something that she had experienced through her other pregnancies. But it wasn’t helping her as the pups would come. She started a groan that gradually turned into a dark and loud scream, both the live pups out one after another. Both pups were moving when they came out, but one of them was struggling to breathe. The other one was weak but breathing. Aranea still wouldn’t look at them. Her body hadn’t stopped while there was still a dead pup inside of her, but she was too weak to want to try and push.

"Aranea"

Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger. (Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee) Scent: Lavender Alignment: Neutral Good Season: Summer Height: 26 inches Home: Somnium - Dead

Gwynevere frowned when she returned and saw the herb still laying where she had left it, but decided to not press the issue any more. She wasn't going to force it on Aranea even though she was very clearly still very deeply in pain. She glanced up at Aranea at her words of apology, Gwyn giving her a quiet nod in response. She logically knew that was the case. The damage had been done from the drugs that Aranea had eaten before she was first brought here and clearly this was the repercussions from that. She was hopeful that perhaps with the right care she could have prevented any more damage from being done, but maybe that wasn't true. Maybe the damage had already been too severe for her to make a difference. That probably bothered her most, but seeing the dead pups didn't help either.

Gwynevere tried to focus on the task at hand when she noticed Aranea's contractions pick up once more, quickly picking up on the signs of them as the birthing continued. As dark and awful as this was, she really was learning a lot and she held on to that fact as one positive to take away from this whole event. She stood ready to either start cleaning the pups that emerged or to carry out another body, trying to not think too deeply about the fact that she really didn't know what to expect. She winced and looked away from Aranea as her pained groans grew into a gut wrenching scream just moments before another pup was born, quickly followed by a second. She started pulling away the umbilical sacks and goo that surrounded them, her ears against her head as she gently pulled the to the side and started trying to clear their mouths and noses so they could breathe. Neither one seemed to be doing well for various reasons and something about them still didn't smell quite right even though they were alive - at least for the moment.

The first one that had emerged, a boy that was struggling to breathe, went first. He seemed to suffocate before going completely still. Her chest squeezed with sorrow, but she tried to push past it long enough to focus on the little girl that was left. She knew that the last of the four pups was already dead so she didn't worry about hurrying back to Aranea's side and instead spent a good bit of time licking the pup's back and chest, coaxing the weak girl to keep breathing. However, after a few minutes of this the girl fell still as well and nothing that Gwyn tried seemed to help. She felt for a heart beat and found nothing. Her ears fell back against her head with grief and disappointment while she quietly picked up the pair of pups, carrying them outside without addressing it with Aranea. She couldn't make herself look at the smaller woman right now, the guilt of losing these two pups that they had been so hopeful that they would survive hurting her too much.

When she went outside she noticed that the space in the grass where she had left the first pup was now empty and when she glanced up she saw Ulric standing by a maple tree a few feet away, a hole by his feet. With a pained expression she brought him the next two, and looked at the ground as he gently picked each one up and placed them next to their sibling. "Those were the two that had been alive," she told him quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. She couldn't look at his face either, knowing that he had been holding on to that hope this whole time the same way she had. The Aegis was quiet for several moments and eventually she felt his nose on her cheek before he told her to go back to the castle. She looked at him with surprise for a moment before she nodded in agreement and turned around, giving the den a glance as she passed it. She went to wash herself off, the smell of the decomposing pup still heavy in her nose.

Gwynevere | Eilwen

Ulric had come to the den when Aranea howled, but he couldn't make himself go in. Partially because he didn't want to be in the way, and partially because he couldn't quite bring himself to face Aranea just yet. He had put himself through the pain of being with her long enough each day to make sure she ate, his mind solely focused on the pups that he was promised were still alive. He did all of this for their sake. He paced back and forth in front of the den after Gwynevere had gone inside until she emerged with one of the pups that had already been dead. His teeth grit together as he went to where she had laid the pup in the grass, his heart breaking at the sight of it. Swallowing back his emotions, he went to a near by tree and began digging a grave for the little pup that had been killed far before it could finish developing, Aranea stealing away its chance at a life.

As he was walking back to the hole he had dug with the tiny corpse in tow he heard Aranea scream, the sound making the fur on the back of his neck stand up uneasily. He gently placed the pup in its grave and stood over it while he waited for something else to happen. He had dread deep in his gut, something telling him that things could only get worse from here. Minutes ticked by as he stood over the corpse of one of his children, unable to look away from the mangled form like someone watching a train wreck. Eventually he heard the sound of paws coming toward him and when he looked up he saw Gwynevere approaching him with two more pups. These ones were far more recognizable as pups, but both were heart wrenchingly silent and still. He looked at them when she placed them at his feet. A boy and a girl, both of them noticeably marked with browns and grays, the dapples that covered his own coat showing up on both of these children. His. They had been his. His jaw tensed and his eyes squeezed shut against the heartache that washed over him like a tidal wave when she informed him that these had been the two that could have lived.

It had been for nothing then. All of this pain and heartache and exceptions made. Everything that he had put on the line for her, everything that he had put on hold to make sure these pups arrived without further incident. It had been for nothing. He went through all of that and had nothing to show for it. He managed to blink his eyes open after a moment, looking down at the pups that should have been here with him, and then up at Gwyn. He could see the same disappointment and grief on her face and he felt deeply guilty that he had subjected her to any of this. She had done her duty exceedingly well and he silently made a promise to himself that as soon as he was done with all of this he would give her the rank she deserved for the skill she had shown. He made himself pick up the two pups and place them into the grave next to the first and was quiet for another moment before he pressed his nose to Gwyn's cheek. A quiet thank you for all the work she had done. "We're done here. Go back to the castle, get some rest. I'm sorry." He watched her go and then turned his silver eyes toward the den where Aranea still resided.

He waited until Gwyn was well past the castle gates before he stalked forward, his teeth gritting so tightly that his jaw ached. A sigh passed through his nose and then he forced himself to go inside, slipping into the small den. The whole den reeked of death and when he turned his gaze to Aranea he knew that it would only be a matter of time before she joined those pups in death as well. Words escaped him and for a time all he could do was sit there on the opposite side of the den, fixing her with a hard stare.

Ulric Adravendi

Though she had already been crying and her expression exhausted from the birth, she held herself still together until Gywnevere left the den, and once her form disappeared from the mouth of the den, she completely crumbled. Quiet sobs left her, she really was a failure. She couldn't do this final thing, this beautiful thing for Ulric. There wasn't much to explain the deaths of the living pups. It could have been the initial harm with what she had done, or the dead ones that still occupied her. The fact that she had been starving herself, or the extremely rough birth they all experienced. She couldn't know herself, but there were a number of things that went wrong. It was entirely her fault.

She quickly tried to regain herself as someone came to enter the den, thinking it was Gywnevere at first, but with a quick glance she immediately noticed it was Ulric. She broke again, almost all the strength left in her was devoted to her endless tears and sobs, and she was nearly silent as he was just standing there before her. "I'm not worth anything, I'm sorry Ulric." Her body was trembling unnaturally as feeling started to become numb and her body was reacting to the trauma it had experienced physically, maybe mentally too.

Where she couldn't find it in herself to look up at him at first, she did now, her eyes very different than any other time she had showed him the dark emotions that always haunted her. Her breath had become harsh, hyperventilating like she was running out of air. She didn't know if this was truly the end though maybe she should have while everything in her felt like it was gone, "Ulric please," her voice was broken as she struggled, nearly suffering to pass on, "Please tell me you loved me." Her head laid back as she finally felt herself truly slipping, it was the only thing she asked of him now. But if he had said anything it all it was lost into deaf ears as everything faded and went black, her faded breath whispered still through quiet and breathless tones, "Please tell me, please."

Her body had not released itself as her mind had gone, it still trembled and struggled, it was incredibly harsh in a way to think she was suffering. But in fact she wasn't anymore. She never again had to think of Tyranis, or Allegro, of her children. Of Ulric and what she had done to him. The nightmares that had plagued her since her birth were gone. An eternal darkness was her own heaven, her own blessing. And maybe she was only a little happy that the pups had died with her, because while she had other children still living, the ones that died with her would never have to suffer through their life like she did.

-Exit Aranea via Death-

"Aranea"

Aranea has a british accent. Threads can produce a Depression Trigger. (Ar-en-ay-ah Har-per Lah-or-ee) Scent: Lavender Alignment: Neutral Good Season: Summer Height: 26 inches Home: Somnium - Dead

The massive man felt cramped and claustrophobic in this den of death, but he stayed as he watched Aranea continue to break down and suffer. This was his punishment - his true and final punishment for allowing any of this to happen. He would stand here and endure these final moments, his eyes on Aranea, but his mind outside with his children that laid in a grave under a maple tree. Her gasping final words were painful like a dagger to his heart, but that couldn't even compare to the loss and the pain that he felt at the fact that those pups were gone. He wished he could give her that final reprieve as she asked for him to tell her that he had loved her, but he couldn't. Perhaps at one point he could have, but no longer. He had cut those feelings away before they could fully take hold and now that he knew what love truly should feel like he knew that's not what he had felt for Aranea. He had felt a desperate attraction and he had cared about her as someone that was in his life, but all of that had been tainted and burned away.

He watched as her last words left her and her eyes rolled back. She was gone, though her body clung on for a moment longer. Swallowing back the bile that threatened to rise up from his stomach, he crossed the den to where her small, frail form continued to twitch and struggle. He placed a large paw on her shoulder near the base of her neck and took her head in the other, closing his eyes and looking away as he snarled and made a quick, hard twist of her neck. Her body finally went limp and his face contorted with pain and emotion. He pulled himself up, staggering out of the den and breathing deep the late afternoon air. He found his way back to the small grave he had dug and looked down at the pups that laid within it. He sank to his haunches and he thought he might cry for them, but his chest was achingly hollow. He reached a paw down and gently caressed their bodies, even the one that could barely be called a fully formed pup in most regards.

As much as this loss hurt, as much as he mourned these children that he had never gotten to know, a thought crossed his mind that finally forced him back to his paws. He carefully slid the dirt he had dug up back into the grave, sealing the tiny bodies away as he packed down the dirt over them. He moved around to the over side of the tree and began to dig another grave, this one larger though not by a whole lot. Aranea was a small woman. When he thought he might have it large enough he went back to the den, trying to move quickly to get away from the stench that lingered there. He carried her out by her scruff, only slightly dragging her paws across the ground. She felt like we weighed nothing. He lowered her gently into her grave, pushing the dirt over her as well. When it was all said and done he sat there for a long moment, looking at the two pieces of over turned earth, and he just felt tired. It was a feeling that he had grown used to feeling over the last month or so. But he was done here. The loss and the pain lingered, but he needed to go. He got up and began to move back into the castle, seeking out the face that he had kept him from cracking as he buried Aranea and their children - the face of his daughter that he had nearly lost and hadn't.

Ulric Adravendi