tw: thoughts of suicide

Perhaps he should have just stayed gone. Never have returned to the Hallows and discover Resins untimely tragedy. Noone should have to struggle through the not one death of a mother, but two, yet here Grimshaw stood atop the highest point of the fjord looking down on the jagged rocks and water below. It wouldn't take but a fleeting action to send himself over the edge, ending the pain he felt inside doubled over. He hadn't even gotten fully over the loss of his actual mother, but now with the loss of the woman that saved and adopted him personally, the emotions were becoming too hard to handle. Had he only just stayed away, the young man wouldn't be standing at the top of the fjord contemplating ending it all.

He'd only broken off from the group because they had kidnapped that young girl, but maybe he could find them again. Maybe he could rescue that girl. What did she say her name was? Bella something. If he died in the process, well is that not what he stood here considering a moment ago? A breeze broke Grim from his thoughts and he tore his locked gaze on the world below to focus instead on the rising moon. He didn't know what he wanted to do. He just didn't want to do this anymore.

It was a long trek home, but Sirius was well accustomed to the route by now. He just about imagined he was burning a hole through the path, with the frequency of his travels. He had just passed over the Bifrost, and was angling to skirt around the pack that had taken over The Ashen Empires old stomping grounds when he caught sight of a wolf.

There was a strange sort of symmetry to the moment. Zee had once found Tamsyn perched in a similar position. Standing on the edge, contemplating the fall. Seers' slow, careful steps took him closer to the wolf, confirming what he was seeing. He supposed there was the chance he was simply taking in the sights, but some six sense told Sirius that wasn’t the case.

He was about the age of the Warlord's youngest litter, and an impulse took over him. He took another step, moving more briskly this time as he approached the wolf. “There's an awful long time to feel regret, and consider how much it might hurt, between the jump and the fall.”

"Speech"

CODE © SKELLE 2021 & ART © ULFEID3 @ DA
"Speech!"


Lost in the sight of the rising moon, it took a moment too long for the young man to realize someone was approaching. When the older, larger man spoke however he remained still. Although he least expected it, he wasn't afraid of anything right now. Not even death. In death, he would reunite with his dear mother and perhaps even Resin. The fall would be quick, and hopefully painless. The pain the man spoke of was void to him now, in this moment. Pain had caused him so much in the past and finally, when he was just about ready to accept it, it comes at him again taking the only other wolf that cared for him away. He stayed silent a moment after the older man spoke, his eyes still locked on the rising moon. Despite the turmoil and emotions that ran through him, he appeared oddly relaxed.

"It can't make me hurt worse than I already do." He finally spoke, his voice hoarse from lack of use. What could this man know about what he was feeling anyway. To the man, he should look nothing more than like a young man staring at the moon atop the highest nearby point in the fjord. He supposed it wasn't impossible for the man to relate in some way or shape, although it struck him as odd if that were to be the case.

welcome to the freakshow

“You aren’t the first wolf that's found themselves on the edge” he said after a long moments pause. He closed his eyes briefly, a part of him whispering ‘do I really care?’ It was hard to care, these days. He didn’t want to open himself up to another wolf, another loss. He had too many of those now to ever deny how much they hurt.

But he remembered the day that Zee had brought Tamsyn home to them, because his wife had cared enough to stop. She had let herself be brave for a wolf that had no bravery left, and despite everything, despite his anger, he loved them both still.

He sighed softly, and stepped cautiously closer to the hurting wolf. “If you truly believe you have nothing left, take that step, and see what happens. Or, be brave, one last time, and come with me.”


"Speech"

Grimshaw stood at the edge, waiting a long moment for the man's response. It almost didn't seem worth waiting for; who was this man? He didn't know what to say in return and instead glanced away from Sirius and to the world below where he stood. It would be a long fall, and he could only hope for a quick, painless death although the longer he stood the more he second guessed himself. The man spoke again, drawing his metallic gaze back to him, only this time he was offered to join him. And do what? Grimshaw wasn't sure, but hesitantly took a step back. He knew now that he couldn't jump, although there wasn't a clear reason in his head. Suddenly, whatever this man had to offer seemed better than whatever waited for him at the bottom of the cliff.

"Come with you where?" He asked as he took a few more steps from the edge. The Hallows wasn't a home for him anymore, and neither was the group of boys he ran with for a bit. He was becoming an adult and he wanted to do something with his life... Maybe even have the chance to make someone proud.

The dark coated wolf was about the age of his youngest litter, and the act of finding him here at a cliff’s edge was an echo of the past. Too much of his past haunted him. They were tempests, raging in his mind. Sometimes, the Warlord did not know why he did the things he did. He went with what he desired at the time, and here and now, it seemed right to claim this wolf. Mine. His mind whispered.

The stranger turned to him, taking steps away from the edge, and the Warlord knew he had him. He smiled, something that grew slowly across his muzzle. “Home, of course.” He said, turning from the wolf with a swish of his tail. He had chosen not to take the fall, would his curiosity keep him coming after the Warlord?

"Speech"

Home? What did he mean by that? Of course he assumed wherever the man would take him would be his home, but it hardly answered any questions. Where was this home, for example? Grimshaw pondered a moment before slowly following after the man as he turned. He didn't know where he was going but he felt compelled to follow. "Whay do you mean? Where is home?" He asked, his voice carrying a bit of sass due to his slight annoyance at the moment. Regardless, his curiosity out weighted his other thoughts and he would follow after the older man anyway, only hoping that somehow he could offer him a worthwhile life, a purpose even.

It was only a moment before the other wolf was following, curiosity digging out his questions, and a bit of personality in the asking. Sirius hid a smile, delighting in the distraction the boy offered. He put aside everything else, Zee, Tamsyn, everything and everyone. He concentrated instead on winning over this boy and stealing him for his own.

“Home is the Armada, and I am it's Warlord.” he said simply, following the pathway that would lead to the Prairie. It was still a long way till home. “What's your name, kid?” he asked as the familiar sight of the prairie greeted him.


"Speech"

Warlord? He'd heard of the Armada before, they used to live near them before moving down to the castle. If he was going there, then he'd be close to his mother's grave again. The thought made his heart race a bit in excitement, though he kept the feeling hidden from his features. He kept to himself and his thoughts as they walked until he was asked for his name. "Grimshaw... Grim." he said, clearing his throat between his proper and nickname. "Yoi're Sirius, right?" he asked, familiar with the name. He'd never met any Armada wolf that he knew of, but he did know that the Armada made strong warriors like Resin and Tamsyn. Maybe Sirius could help him become string like them.

Sirius nodded his head in acknowledgement. “Very good, you’ve been paying attention.” he didn’t know where Grimshaw had come from, there were faded, unfamiliar scents on his coat. There was also something vaguely familiar about him, but he couldn’t put his paw on it yet. Had he met the boy as a child? He had met many wolves in his life, and he felt like he should remember this one.

“We aren’t far now from the Armada. Do you have it in mind to become a warrior, Grim?” he asked the younger wolf. That was his intention for the boy. To mold him into a fighter. It was what Sirius knew best. It was what gave courage to those that needed it. The ability to fight for yourself.



"Speech"

Well, he would say that he's been paying attention, really. For many weeks, he ran wild away from the Hallows and those he struggled to call family. Paying attention was probably the last thing he'd done, actually. He remained silent as he followed Sirius until the man spoke again, this time informing him of their proximity to the Armada and asking of his intentions. Grimshaw very much wanted to become a warrior and he, for some reason, trusted that Sirius would turn him into a fine one. It was the pack that Resin and Tamsyn had come from, you know. "Of course." he replied simply.