He wanted to wait until morning to break the news to Psalm and Solo, he figured they could use the good night's rest especially with what was to come. He emerged from Azzurra's section of the den early before light, coming out into the main area and waiting for his other two siblings to wake up. And as the time passed, he felt a pit in his stomach and like he could choke on air as his mind wandered with what he was going to tell them. It seemed they had just settled with Aranea's abandonment, now they would all have a new kind of throbbing pain from Allegro.

Once they both came outside of their sections of the den he took a deep breath. His expressions were easy to read, easy as in disappointed, nervous, clearly holding bad news or something of the sort. And all the weight was put on his shoulders, though maybe he had made that for himself while following so close in Allegro's pawsteps.

"Dad left last night." He paused, though that could have meant he was going on a trip, it wouldn't have been the first time. "He's not coming back. I heard him leave the den and he told me he was going to live with his mother's family." The words hit him hard as he spoke, and he was really coming to a realization that maybe his family would fall back on and depend on him from now on. It was a big thought he had last night on his walk back. "He said he loves us..." He paused, not really able to fully quote everything he had said to him, "I couldn't stop him from leaving. He wouldn't even let me get a word in before he was gone."

"Balthier"

SOLO DESTRUCTION-LOIRE THERE IS VERY LITTLE LEFT OF ME AND IT'S NEVER COMING BACK The young male was trying to get into the habit of rising around dawn, as the days were growing longer that seemed to be an easier task with each passing day. They were all going to be a year old with the next turn of the season, which loomed uncomfortably close. Would they all stay together? Or would they all vanish like Aranea had, off to lead their own lives and search for fulfillment without one another? The thought tended to catch him unawares in the late hours of the night, and whenever he found himself with downtime. So the pale Destruction had thrown himself into his studies and honing his skills. As he awoke today he could hear one of his siblings shuffling in the main atrium of the den. That was enough to convince Solo to roll out of bed and shake the sleep from his coat. He pulled his weight forward and stretched his hind legs, flexed his toes. Pushed his bulk backwards and stretched his forelimbs, curled his toes into the dirt. A yawn wrenched his thick jowls apart, and a whine snuck out of him at the end of it. Slipping through the thin curtain that veiled his hollow with privacy, he immediately noticed Balthier. Something was wrong. Black and gold auds tipped back against his skull, brows drawn together as his appetite was replaced with a hollow sensation, stomach dropping to his feet. "Why do you look so upset," it came out as less of a question than an observation, wariness creeping into his accented lyrics. Careful steps closed the distance between himself and his brother, and how had he never noticed himself growing taller than his brother? Than either of his sisters? Pushing the random thought aside, he drew closer to his sibling and sought to press his cheek along the side of his neck. "did something happen?" he asked softly as concern pinched his dark brows together, one pale paw stretching out and seeking to wrap loosely around a dark shoulder for comfort. Only a brief hug, drawing reassurance from physical touch. At some point he noticed Psalm's presence, compounding the intensity of his anxiety. As he pulled away, silver gaze met sapphire as he waited for a response. He moved closer to Psalm, leaving his posture open and welcome in case she needed him. Something was about to come to light that he almost certainly wouldn't like. "Dad left last night." their brother began with something simple, a fairly common occurrence. Allegro left quite often, hunting trips or brief excursions beyond the borders to take a break from the strain of the hard winter and spring. "He's not coming back. I heard him leave the den and he told me he was going to live with his mother's family." the solemnity of Balthier's tone did little to lessen the dead weight that seemed to buckle his knees and shove its way down his throat. Why? What did he do wrong? Why not tell all of them together? What made Balthier so special, that their father entrusted this news to him alone? Where did that resentment just bubble up from- he loved his brother! A thousand questioned began to arise one after the other, drowning each other out as new voices arose to form an echoing cacophony within the confines of his skull. The boy steeled himself against the turmoil inside himself, turning his attention outwards to his siblings. They were the ones that needed him the most in this moment. "He said he loves us..." it was reassurance that fell flat in the face of surging emotions, and it took a remarkable resolve for Solo to bite back the snarl, the curl of his lip that spoke outright disdain for the bullshit sentiment. How could he love them, if he left them just like Aranea had? Instead, he slowly canted his head towards Psalm. He wanted to get a read on her expression, figure out how she was reacting to all of this. He wanted to reach out and pull her to his chest, partly for his own selfish desire for closeness right now. "I couldn't stop him from leaving. He wouldn't even let me get a word in before he was gone." Balthier seemed to draw into himself, and somehow Solo's brows managed to pinch even closer together. Auds held close to his skull, he glanced between his siblings. Azzurra wasn't here, he wasn't totally certain why she was being left out of this. Perhaps Balthier was going to break it to her later, they had always been closer to one another from all the time he spent looking after her while she was at her sickest. "None of this is your fault, Balt." he said quietly, tail beating roughly on the hard packed earth of the den floor. "We don't need him anyways, we can do just fine ourselves." the alabaster youth took care to mind his tone, skirting outright aggression in favour of dismissing the man who had just walked out on them. He was reassuring himself as much as he was trying to reassure them, a false confidence in the hopes that it would manifest that hard truth. "I'll see if I can find someone to help me with my hunting, and I'll try to bring back more food at the end of the day. We can always borrow from the pack stores if we need to, I can ask Corvus or someone about it." already there were solutions to be found, workarounds for the provisions their father wouldn't be providing any more. Gaze hardened to a steely resolve, he once more shifted his attention to his siblings' features. Checking their reactions, their emotional state. He would support them in whatever ways they needed, without question. "This isn't any of our faults," he repeated, and made sure to catch their eyes as he did. Maybe it was a hard stance to take immediately, but he didn't want those thoughts to fester in them in the same way they were already beginning to claw through the back of his mind. "I love you guys." he said softly, lifting one paw just slightly off the ground and flicking his paw towards himself. If there was ever a time for him to be wrapping those meaty paws around his siblings, it would be now. "Speech" thoughts "others"

Psalm slept as close to the mouth of her part of the den as she could, every night when she lay down to sleep, circling and circling as she did she always lay down with her nose pointed towards the opening that led out of her space, towards the rest of her family... towards her father. Psalm had always been close with him, at least that's what she had felt in her mind, and she'd only grown more close, maybe more dependant, since their mother had left. She would never admit it but some part of her was afraid that he too would leave, would abandon them, and so she slept her head in such a way that she could be comforted by the notion she'd notice him leaving. Or at least that had been the theory.

Morning broke, just as it did any other day and despite the unusual bustle that came from the central part of the den Psalm had no reason to assume her world was about to drop out from under her. Slowly she extracted herself from sleep and from her nest, shaking herself out and yawning and then finally joining her brothers. Instantly she could tell something was wrong... Balth was doing a terrible job of hiding it. Head tipping to the side so her white ear was dipped towards the ground, bright blues wide and worrying. She stalked up beside Solo's side, her expression the silent question her brother had asked only a few moments before her arrival.

And then he spoke: "Dad left last night." Unlike her brother Psalm seemed to understand instantly what it was that Balth meant by this simple statement, yes Allegro would often leave the den before them but that wasn't what could be meant by this. The gnawing fear that she would be abandoned rising suddenly to the front of her mind and without thinking Psalm instantly fell onto her haunches, her face frozen in a slight gape... too busy trying to process all this simple phrase meant, her face left behind by her racing mind. That was until he clarified and the reality she already knew came crashing in, as if the simple act of saying it aloud was all it took for her whole being to be brought to the present, the horrible, ugly, painful present. "He's not coming back. I heard him leave the den and he told me he was going to live with his mother's family."

Psalm hadn't cried in some time, she hadn't cried even when she'd watched her mother break down in front of them, hadn't cried when it had become clear that was the last time she would be with them, she hadn't cried when they'd gone to visit and she'd been forced to acknowledge her mother was more a stranger to her than a parental figure... but she cried then, the shocked face turning first into shocked frozen crying and then silent but open weeping. Her head ducking to her chest and her frame shuddering with the weight of her sudden emotion. Everything else Balthier said was heard but lost in the swirling of her pain, made all the worse by the knowledge her father hadn't even bothered to try and tell her all this himself. She'd be the one glued to his side as a pup, had been the one who'd shaped herself around him, had tried to mold her future asperations so he'd be proud- and he'd not even tried to give her the chance to join him.

And that was all it took... Deeper, hidden under the constant worry that her father might one day leave was the assurance that she would be the reason, just as she knew she was the reason their mother had. But this, this knowledge that her father had left, hadn't valued their relationship enough to tell her himself? Well that certainty reared it's head with a vengence, vindicated with the evidence before her. Solo would speak, would try to comfort them but as she picked up his voice assuring them: "This isn't any of our faults." Psalm knew it was wrong, her mind screaming over and over at him even while her tongue was too heavy to say anything. You don't know that! She screamed in her head. You don't know that! You don't know that! Solo moved and suddenly Psalm was moving, ducking out of his grasp, out of his range. Her paws carrying her faster than she'd ever ran, she didn't know where she just needed to get out. Out of the den, out of the plains, out of the packlands. Out, away.

-exit Psalm-

He had a hard time really reading either of his siblings at first. He avoiding eye contact or looking at them too hard. He had been strong with Azzurra, but he was at his weakest then. He held his emotions in hard, but he wanted to still try and be stronger for Solo and for Psalm. He believed, at least in the eyes of Allegro, that being the man of the denhold was put on his shoulders. It was nothing against his brother, at least from his own heart and mind. It may have been different through Allegro though but it seemed they would never know. So while Solo was feeling harsh at first, like he wasn't good enough, like Balthier had been chosen as the favorite in their father's eyes, Balthier didn't notice while looking away from them.

He was surprised though when Solo had came forward with support instead of turning sour to the whole situation. Was that a sign of good raising or a sign of trying to make things better from the neglect of both of their parents? He didn't know. Him and his siblings had been a quiet family along with their father. He didn't know if they felt the same way, but Balthier had never really felt right here in Abaven. He felt like he had never belonged, even though they were surrounded by a big, friendly family. He wagged his tail slightly as Solo came forward to him, a gentle smile on his maw while his brother made him comfortable enough for him to look up into his own eyes. He couldn't really agree that they didn't need their father. He would hide the thought, but they had already lost their mother long before all this. So losing their father was something they definitely did not need to add to their pile of rejection and insecurities.

This was when he noticed Psalm's devastated stature and emotions. His slightly happy, foreseeing future expression had changed instantly. He couldn't match the way she felt completely, at least not physically. But when he moved forward to comfort her, she was gone. He wanted to hold her like he did with Azzie, make her feel like she was wanted and needed. He felt this way about all his siblings. He felt like they were all he had. He had always been detached from the other Destructions aside from Poem and her family. He wanted to be there, he wanted to make all the bad go away. He couldn't do it all, not for everyone, not all at once. It made him feel weak and like a failure. It was becoming one thing after another now. Aranea, Allegro, he felt like it was a matter of time before he lost either Solo or Psalm, Psalm was falling further from his reach right now.

He turned to Solo with a glance, his expression disappointed in himself for what he couldn't do, even if it wasn't really his fault as Solo tried to make them believe. He lifted his paw up to Solo's chest only if he went to go after Psalm, "Give her a minute to herself to sort things out." They were all the closest wolves to each other. They needed each other, but he wanted Psalm to get her more harsh emotions out before either one of them tried to comfort her. "Dad..." He sighed, should he even call him that anymore? "Filled our storage with meals for a while. Take some time to yourself for now. I can help you when you are ready. I'm sure Corvus and others from the pack will too." He turned away, going back to his secluded, no contact self as he went towards their father's den to see what all he had left behind and get things organized. Allegro had made them comfortable for the next few seasons, so they had time to work things out and keep themselves lifted with the help of the pack when they were ready.

"Balthier"

SOLO DESTRUCTION-LOIRE THERE IS VERY LITTLE LEFT OF ME AND IT'S NEVER COMING BACK Psalm seemed to mentally switch off as soon as Balthier dropped the bomb, expression eerily blank. He was certain this was a bad sign, those cerulean eyes turning cold and hard as she stared at their dark furred brother. And then all at once he could see the weight of the news settle upon her, as she ducked her chin towards her chest and heaved out mute sobs, shoulders trembling with the force of them. He wanted desperately to reach out, comfort his sister, but the moment he had moved, she jolted like she'd been struck. Took off at a dead sprint, up and out of the mouth of the den like her tail had been set alight. That hurt more than their father's abandonment, honestly. He was familiar with the sensations and emotions that came with a parent vanishing without a trace, without regard for his wellbeing. But for Psalm to take off at the mere notion of his attempts to comfort her- that stung with a fresh kind of pain. He seemed to look over at Balthier at the same moment the dark yearling looked over at him, and they shared a silent pain. Watching their sister be so devastated, and being unable to offer support. He took a hesitant half step towards the entrance, and felt the soft pressure of a broad paw against his chest. "Give her a minute to herself to sort things out." Balthier said softly, and the pale youth sighed in defeat. He was right, of course. That didn't make him want to help his sister any less. Metallic eyes flicked back to the dim light filtering through the entryway, pointlessly hoping to see her returning already. "Yeah. Just wish I could do something. She doesn't deserve this. None of us do, really." he muttered, and slumped heavily onto his haunches. Tall auds fell towards his skull, expression horrifically devoid of any real emotion. He felt hollow and empty, when he knew he should be feeling angry, upset, rejected.. Something. You were supposed to cry and scream and squall when you lost your parents. Why was he feeling.. nothing? He tuned back into the conversation when his brother mentioned their newly absentee father. "Filled our storage with meals for a while. Take some time to yourself for now. I can help you when you are ready. I'm sure Corvus and others from the pack will too." Balthier meant well, but he didn't want to sit around and mope. He didn't want to keep leaning on others, and disappointing the people around him. And then Balthier was gone, too. Wandering into the hollow that had once been reserved for their father, for whatever reason. Alone in the main antechamber of their den, the burly yearling found himself left with the emptiness that yawned in his chest, growing more and more hollow by the second. "Yeah, Balt. Sounds good.." he murmured to a brother that wasn't beside him anymore. To an empty hole in the ground. "Sounds.. good." he sighed. "Speech" thoughts "others"