Ophie was a terrible, terrible sister. It was hard to look her siblings in the eye when they went about their daily lives, strength and determination keeping their spines straight as they lived up to their family heritage. The Fatalis name weighed too heavy upon Ophie's shoulders, all the things she should be and should do drifted on by as she just...lurked. Buried her head in the mud and fretted like the eternal worry wart she was. Long gone was her drive to try and be better, to do her best till it was enough. She missed her Mum, she missed seeing people smile. Missed feeling like she belonged.

Pawing at the sand, Ophie watched the waves roll up the beach and flood the little hole she'd made. Was that how every one else moved on? Filled in the gaps left behind till they were out of sight and mind? She exhaled sharply through her nose, snorting with all the grace of a wild boar. It was so easy to compare herself to her siblings, they were all she wasn't and at times she wondered if she'd ended up with the dregs of her parents. All the faults and none of the benefits.

She slapped at the waters surface, spraying herself with salt water that pricked at her eyes. Dirty or not she wasn't fond of what she saw. Her form had grown plump and soft, smooshy curves where her siblings had hard, strong lines. Ugh. When had she gotten so fat?

Briar had been pretty much glued to Artorias' side since he came to stay in the Armada for the season, but she did occasionally have to let him go for lessons with her father and things to go along with the real reason he was here. Them being able to basically live together was just a pleasant side effect of the fact that he was here to train to become The Hallow's next leader. She walked along the beach, smiling softly as she thought about him. He had been the only reason she had kept herself afloat over most of the last year. It was really only now after their initial break up and after they came back together stronger and more appreciative of each other that she was starting to find her own footing. Her own confidence and belief in her own abilities was still weak and wavering at best, but she was getting better and she supposed that was all that really mattered now.

She happened to glance up from the sand in front of her paws and her gaze landed on her sister's form in the distance, seeing her laying in the sand staring at something in front of her. As she got closer she noticed how upset Ophelia's expression was and a frown pulled at Briar's lips. She hadn't felt connected to any of her siblings in a very long time, not really since they all left the den for the first time. She had felt so disconnected from everything, especially after finding out about their mother's death and after the incident between her and her father, but now that she was on the other side of it all she realized that she still hadn't found a way to be closer to her siblings. She knew she wasn't the only one struggling, but she also hadn't let her struggle show so did any of them really know that they could relate with one another?

Briar walked over to Ophelia just as her sister hit the water that had collected in a hole that was dug in front of her, Briar glancing from the hole to her sister. "Hey, Ophelia," she said uncertainly, trying to give her sister a small smile. It was almost kind of humorous how starkly different they were. Briar was obsessive about keeping her coat clean and keeping her appearance a certain way, to the point that even just getting mud across her legs or something of that sort gave her anxiety. Ophelia had always been the opposite and that hadn't seemed to change. "Are you alright?" she asked even though she knew that wasn't a question that would have an easy answer.

"Briar Fatalis"

Water dripped from Ophie's face as her ears flattened, all sheepish like she'd been doing something she shouldn't. Sometimes she felt as though everything about her was embarrassing, from the way she looked to how she acted, Ophie was well and truly a mess. At least Briar didn't sound disgusted, ashamed to know they were kin. If anything she seemed a little worried, brows drawn like she wasn't sure how to best approach this situation. Well that made two of them. Lately she hadn't spent much time with her siblings, it seemed as though this litter just wasn't as closely interconnected as the last. And that was okay, right? Ophie logically knew none of her littermates hated her, surely she would have noticed by now but her niggling worries lingered on all the same. Tough to shift, stubborn like a cough deep in her chest.

Snorting the water from her nose, Ophie nodded. It was a knee-jerk reaction, a response given without thought and obviously not true.

"Yeah I'm good!" She wagged her tail, more brown that grey at this point. "How 'bout you, keeping busy?"

She hadn't really been keeping tabs but she hadn't seen Briar for a good while, so it felt safe to assume he was up and about, doing stuff and making her days count. Not like Ophie could relate.

Briar could tell from the sudden switch in Ophelia's expression as she looked up at her that even though she said she was good she wasn't actually good. It reminded her too much of when she was here with Artorias after the tournament and she had tried too hard to force a smile and pretend everything was okay. When her sister asked her the same question in return, Briar replied honestly, "I'm... doing better now." She smiled a little and laid down on the sand near Ophelia, facing this hole she assumed her sister had dug. She wasn't exactly good with her own emotions so she couldn't imagine that she would be very good with anyone else's emotions, but she also knew how much it helped just to have someone. Artorias was her someone, but did Ophelia have anyone? She hated how distant she was from all her siblings besides maybe Kotori and she had always blamed their circumstances or her siblings themselves for not spending time with her, but now that she had grown and matured some she knew it was just as much her fault as any of that.

"Um... I know we haven't really been very close, but..." she said shyly, fiddling with some of the sand under her toes. "If you ever want to talk about anything I'd be happy to listen." She smiled, her tail brushing softly over the sand. "Or if you just want to hang out or train or whatever... We all need each other, you know? And I don't think any of us have really done anything about that so I want to start." It was a sudden realization and determination on her part, but it was a thought that had been simmering for a while. Why were they all floating alone in all this when they had each other?

"Briar Fatalis"

See the thing is, Ophie was more than happy to make aimless small talk. It was easy, with no strings attached as though they were simply going through the motions, being polite for the sake of it. Because they were nice people. But as Briar settled beside her, Ophie got the feeling that there was more afoot. That regardless of how much Ophie wanted to bury her head in the mud the truth would come out sooner or later. It needed to happen and Briar was kind for taking the initiative, but dread settled into the pit of Ophie's stomach all the same, so heavy she feared she wouldn't be able to climb to her paws. To run from reality and scoff down another meal to cover the pain.

She was glad that Briar was doing better though and made a soft noise of affirmation in the back of her throat. Despite it all, Ophie found herself scooting closer, so their sides pressed, the pudge of her stomach pressing against the notches of Briars ribs. For the longest time she'd been too afraid to seek out physical comfort, but call it childish impulse that had her here, wishing they could just exist together without the weight of their baggage slowing them down.

Her ears flicked back as Briar began and the truth hurt. She was right, someone ought to have said this long ago and Ophie was sorry, so very sorry, that the weight had been foisted upon Briar. Like she didn't have enough on her plate as is. Averting her gaze, Ophie stared at her paws, at the way her claws slightly jutted out from between her toes.

"I know." She began with a slight delay, as if approaching this matter from any sort of angle would make it easier to stomach. "I just...I'm not strong like you or the others. I want to be better, I know I'm fat and disgusting and a waste of space but-She snorted, a lump formed her throat. Impossible to swallow. "Sometimes I feel like it'd be better if I just wasn't around." She laid her chin on her extended front legs.

It wasn't a cry for attention or an attempt to make Briar feel pity for her. It was just the simple truth, it seemed like a fact to her. She wore the Fatalis name like a poor fitting suit.

"I don't want to make you feel bad. I did this to myself and there's no excuse but I won't drag you down with me. "

Briar felt Ophelia shifting closer till their sides were touching, the much softer side of her sister pressing into hers. There was a brief moment when her own obsessive need to be clean buzzed at the back of her mind, knowing that there was sure to be some kind of dirt or mess that would rub off of her sister onto her, but she shoved that thought away. Ophelia clearly needed that physical reassurance whether she knew it or not and Briar wasn't going to deny her that. There was a pause before she got an answer, but when she did it broke her heart. She hated how Ophelia spoke about herself - calling herself fat, disgusting waste of space - and she slowly began to realize just how bad they all had gotten. Not just Ophelia, but their whole family collectively. If one of them was struggling this much, then hadn't they all failed?

She leaned down to where Ophelia had laid her head down on her paws and gently nudged her cheek with her nose. "You're not dragging me down with you, I'm pulling you back up," she insisted, giving her an encouraging smile. "You're not a waste of space. It would not be better if you weren't around. You... are just a little disgusting though," she teased with a little humor in her turquoise gaze. She didn't want it all to be doom and gloom and she loved her sister no matter the state she was in... even though she did desperately want to scrub her down with soap.

She rested a paw over Ophelia's, her eyes looking at their stacked paws for a moment before she added, "Up until pretty recently... I wasn't doing very well. I didn't feel like I deserved to be a Fatalis, I didn't feel like I deserved to be a part of our family or our pack. I didn't feel like I'd ever amount to anything. I loved someone so much that I broke up with them because I felt like I was just going to drag him down and I didn't feel worthy to be with him." A sad smile pulled across her lips at that and she was just glad that was behind them now. "I guess I just wanted to tell you that so you know you're not alone in all this mess. I want to help if you'll let me, even if it's just spending time with you more often."

"Briar Fatalis"

It was embarrassing, shame ran through her veins thicker than blood. She bit back the urge to scurry away, feeling as though maybe she'd said too much as the silence dragged on. Mere seconds felt like hours and Ophie's heart began to race in her chest, a nervy thud thud thud that echoed in her ears. She parted her lips to back peddle, to try and twist it into a joke and downplay the situation but Briar beat her to the punch. The mucky girl's ears flicked forward, a little startled that her sister would risk nudging her muddy face. Briar had always been so prim and proper and so Ophie knew the weight of her action, that beyond her need to be neat and tidy she wanted to comfort her sister. That her love prevailed through it all.

Tears pooled in Ophie's eyes as she let a pathetic little sniff. It was a lot, being wanted and comforted, she'd been alone for so long and she felt more than a little stupid to have dragged it out like she had. She just didn't want...to make a scene, she supposed? Everyone had their own demons to face and Ophie's just seemed like they didn't matter, that she ought to be strong enough, Fatalis enough, to deal with them alone. It was ridiculous that Briar felt the same way, that her thoughts coincided with Ophie's so well it was hard to tell them apart. Maybe she wasn't so different from her sisters after all, why had it taken them so long to see it?

Averting her gaze, Ophie struggled to smooth out her breathing. To shoo away the hiccupy breaths that would no doubt smother her words and meaning.

"I didn't even realise I'm so sor-" She cut herself off with a click of her teeth, Briar didn't need her pity. It was only then she realised that her sister was talking about someone, a special someone from the sounds of it. Ophie was well and truly out of the loop, spiralling in a different orbit light years away. "I don't want to be alone any more, but I think I need to try better too. I don't want to just...exist like this but I don't know where to start."

Maybe some one on one time might help, if nothing it'd get her out of her den. That was a start.

Briar was quick to give a little shake of her head and give Ophelia a smile when she went to apologize and stopped herself. "It's okay. I know what you mean." She didn't feel like any of them really wanted sympathy necessarily. It just wasn't in how they were raised. She didn't feel like asking for help was really a thing that they were taught to do so she knew how hard it was to realize that they needed help and even harder to ask for it. They were supposed to be strong and resilient and all of the things she hadn't really felt like she embodied, but she was getting better and Ophelia could too.

She listened as her sister talked about not wanting to be alone, wanting to be better, not knowing where to start... She wondered if this was what it had been like for Artorias when she was telling him how she had felt. The only difference was that Artorias had seemed to have a plan of some kind for her or was able to give her an idea right away, but she was still figuring out stuff herself so she didn't know immediately what her sister might need.

"Well... Artorias and I have been doing training sessions almost every day out here. Why don't you join us some time?" she offered, grinning a little. "I'll be good to have someone else involved in our spars and Artorias is a great teacher!" Training seemed like a safe place to start and it would get her interacting with someone outside of their family which had honestly done her more good than anything else - even beyond the fact that she was in love with this boy.

"Briar Fatalis"

Ophie's ears flicked back a little at the thought of training. It was such a mixed bag for her, on one paw she really did want to fit in the rest of her family and at least be able to hold her own in a scrap. But on the other, the thought of having to put so much work in, the risk of failing really made her feel all sorts of anxious. How come everyone else made it seem so effortless? Like the instincts to protect and persevere were written into their DNA, a part of who they were regardless of whether the world bent and twisted them out of shape. And yet Ophie did not want to brush aside her sister's kindness, she knew that Briar was trying so hard and going out of her way to be nice. To leave all of that unacknowledged was something Ophie just didn't have the heart to do. In short, Ophie simply loved too much.

"I wouldn't want to get in the way but..." She shifted, hesitant but comforted by the steady beat of Briar's pulse. She really took after Zee in more ways than she knew, it seemed. "I'd like to meet him, if that's okay. I feel like I've missed out on so much, I uh...couldn't even really tell you what I've been doing." She paused and raised up a hind leg to kick off a bit of dried dirt behind her ear. It was a bit alarming actually, how much of her life was just blank space. She put on a smile, pretending it wasn't such a big deal. "I used to hang out with Hana a lot but I don't know where she went."

Maybe on some diplomat mission their Father hadn't spoken of? What if she'd gone to look for Zee and Azure and had gotten lost too? Ophie made a face and swallowed thickly.