The nights were hard to get through, but with Azzurra at his side they were more manageable. His thoughts ran slower and deeper at night when it was time to sleep, but he just hugged his sister tight and took in her scent and tried to forget the more troubling thoughts to lull him into better dreams. He didn't really have any nightmares, or dreams in general, it was just getting into sleep that was so difficult for him now a days.

While dreams were hard to come by, he didn't tend to hold onto them. But this one maybe would be a little different, because the feeling of the air around him and the foggy yet bright surroundings were something different entirely. He didn't walk anywhere in the endless expanse, just looking around shortly before taking a seat. He knew he was in a dream, and if he could just sit and relax here, he was happy with that.

"Balthier"

There was no sense of time passing here. Occasionally he would hunt to fill his time, deer or hares appearing from the mist of this forested expanse whenever he thought of them, but otherwise it was a solitary existence. He never felt lonely though, just simply waiting and existing. That was, until he sensed something shifting in the world around him and when he turned to look behind him his gaze landed on the one wolf he had actually wished to see again. His heart squeezed in his chest as he turned to face him, the black and gold marked form of his son. He was facing away from him so for a moment he could just stand there and watch his son wistfully, all the words he wished he would have said to him caught on his tongue. He was quiet as he stepped closer. He knew Balthier wasn't really here so he knew his son hadn't met the same unfortunate fate as himself. He could see him, but he couldn't smell his scent and when he reached out to gently tap his shoulder with his paw it somehow felt indistinct and not quite there.

"Balthier," he said softly, giving his boy a sad smile. Did he even deserve to call him his boy anymore after what he did? Did he give up any claim on being his father just as Aranea had given up her claim on being their mother after choosing that other man over them? "It's good to see you again... I wish it wasn't like this." The regret that had swallowed him the further he had traveled from Abaven that night had been palpable yet he hadn't been able to make himself turn around and go back, not till it was too late. He waited for his son's reaction, waited for the anger he deserved to get from him.

Walk | "Talk" | think

Maybe he had sensed the strange presence, but if he did he didn't acknowledge it. He did feel the strange swoosh over his shoulder though. At first his head just turned to see what had blown over, but when he saw the vision of his father, he turned completely and took a step back from him. He wasn't entirely harsh, but it was clear that he didn't feel the way he used to. He would still always love his father, even after what he had left him with. But there was some sort of respect that he lost in him from what happened.

"What do you mean?" His voice was gentle, he truly didn't understand what Allegro meant or that this was a somewhat real encounter. He figured he would wake up in the morning with everything forgotten, but that wasn't true. He would find that out later though. For now he tried to avoid the affection he actually wanted to give his father, and try to remain the man he was meant to become.

"Balthier"

He wasn't surprised when Balthier stepped back from him. He had expected it and hadn't expected him to come forward to try and embrace him or anything of the sort, yet somehow that distance still felt like a stab in his chest. A sad smile pulled across his lips and he settled back on his haunches. There was nothing that could be done. There was no going back, no changing his mind. Fate had mate that choice for him and made his decision more permanent than he had ever imagined. He supposed that he should be grateful that he got this small chance to tell his son the truth and tell him that he was truly gone, but he wasn't. His life was full of regrets, one stacking on top of the other. Hearing the soft voice of his son questioning him squeezed at his chest and he wished that he could take it all back.

"I'm gone, son. I'm dead," he replied after a moment, unable to find a way to sugar coat the truth. He waited for a moment, letting that sink in and giving him a sympathetic look. He wished he didn't have to find out this way. He almost wished he didn't have to find out at all. "After I left you I started heading south to find my mother's family again. I did find their pack... but it had changed. I didn't learn this about them last time I stayed with them, but... Part of their religion is that all wolves that have white coats or are mostly white are considered cursed and have to be killed. I guess this got around or maybe one of the wolves they tried to kill escaped and they revolted, killing everyone that had been part of that pack. When I approached the territory they assumed I had been part of them and..." He fell silent, unable to finish the statement. He had been killed on sight, not given a moment to defend himself or explain how he hadn't been with those wolves or followed their beliefs.

Walk | "Talk" | think

He couldn't help the pit in his stomach and the sharpness in his chest, but that didn't translate into his physical reaction. He did take a deep breath at first, before his father started explaining the details. His gaze was less than welcoming though, like this was Allegro's fault. He didn't truly believe that, his heart wouldn't let him. He could have blamed Aranea, or himself, but he couldn't blame anyone. He had just come to a conclusion that their life was harsh and brutal and always would be. And it made him more protective over who he had left.

"Okay." It was really all he could get out. He didn't know his father's family, the pack, he couldn't understand the reasoning. There really wasn't anything he wanted to say to it. It wasn't like he was expecting his father to come back anyway. Him being dead was just as simple as the day he left them. But there was that festering feeling of pain and regret that his father was very truly gone. He would really never see him again. This was it. This was the final goodbye. "Is that all?"

"Balthier"

Allegro's gold marked ear flicked at his son's dismissal, his blue eyes shifting down to the mist covered ground. It felt as if he had been punched, but he knew it was what he deserved. He had justified his departure with the year of his life he had devoted to them and only them, but he knew that was still selfish of him to give up on them entirely. He had condemned Aranea for what she had done, but he knew he wasn't much better. He just hadn't known when he agreed to be a part of their lives when Aranea came to him crying that he would be painfully alone in that endeavor and now he was paying the price for ever thinking he could escape after that moment. "I suppose it is," he replied after a moment, bringing his gaze back up to Balthier's reluctantly. "Take care of yourself. I love you," he added whether Balthier wanted to hear it or not before he got up and started to walk away, beginning to fade into this etherial world he had been placed into, back into this timeless void.

Walk | "Talk" | think