The Warlord passed outside the den, letting his thoughts sink slowly into place. It was a chilled morning, Winter would not be far off now. The supplies had finally built up once more, and the new storage was fresh and full. With extra precautions taken to keep it safe from flooding.

There were things going on, but it was a pack, a union of wolves. There would always be things going on. He let a soft sigh slip his lips, and then stepped back into the den. There was only one way to decide how to proceed, and that was to talk it over with his Wife. “Zee, dear?”

"Sirius Fatalis"

The winter was quickly coming upon them, and Zee was greatful that in the storms and floods their den had remained for the most part untouched. While the pack may not have been as overrun with pelts as it once was, but there were still multiple fluffy blankets stored in the alpha's quarters for Zee to curl up in. Most of her time since returning back had been spent sulking, deep in thought alone, or out looking for her children to hug and hold and melt into. The thick bear pelt that rested across the dirt floor had by this point nearly taken the imprint of her small form. Sirius called out to her as he invited himself inside the den, and Zee lifted her head from the cup of tea between her paws to greet him. Gossamer had gifted it to her, speaking of how it brought relaxation and eased anxieties. "Good morning." She smiled at him briefly, before returning her attention to the gently warmed tea to take a sip. "Are things slowing down out there yet?" It was a common situation in packs, there was always something more to do or worry about. Though their wolves had worked their asses off on restocking, and things finally seemed to be looking up. "Speech"

He settled down beside Zee. She looked a little more relaxed this morning, sipping from a steaming cup of something fragrant. “As much as they can before winter” he said, as he took in the homely image of his Zee. She started to look a little more… aas she was, if still entirely too skinny. Was he really considering the best thing?

He let out a soft breath, and knew the only way to know was to discuss it with her. “I’ve been thinking.” He began. Knowing many disasters in their lives had begun with just such a statement. He hid a small smile. “That we are long overdue for a holiday. Something… for just the two of us. The boys are reaching an age where the responsibility might do them some good. A real experience of what it means to be leaders. I believe there are many places in the world your paws still itch to explore…” he said, and left it at that. Let her think it over or add what she pleased. A part of him was considering retirement, but somehow he didn’t know if he would ever be ready to fully let go.


"Sirius Fatalis"

Sirius had never been the one to beat around the bush, and he came out with his thoughts open and honest as he always had with her. Zee watched him quietly while he spoke, studying his piercing blue eyes and noticing the weariness within them. Had he always looked so much his age, or was it something that had caught up with him during the stress of her disappearance and return? After a moment, she pushed the cup of tea towards him. "Have a drink." She offered softly, settling her hips further into the plush furs. When he'd taken her offer - and if he didn't, she'd merely stare at him until he did - she gave her reply. "I think a vacation would be good for both of us, but it's almost winter, Sirius, where would we go?" After seasons up north, Zee had no interest in suffering through more cold. Warmth, beaches and sunlight was all she desired - that and her children to warm her from within. "What would the kids say, if we left? I've only just started winning some of them back. I fear they'd never forgive me." "Speech"

The Warlord sighed, leaning his weight more heavily on his front paws. Taking the cup, and holding it in those paws before him. "There's always something going on in a pack. There's always kids and grandkids and drama and politics. I'm finding myself... old, and tired, these days." He admitted. Voicing a weakness he wouldn't say to any but her. "I can keep us fed in winter, especially if we explore Auster. We can throw that party for the kids before we leave, and find gifts to bring home to them. Mortis and Azure know how to make use of the supplies we've gathered. We will always be able to find excuses not to go, but I wish to go regardless."

He had never wanted the Armads to be a part of the world, he didn't want politics and drama, friends and enemies. He just wanted what was his, and to hold them tightly to him. Even that it seemed was impossible. The list of wolves that had slipped through his paws was growing by the day. He had intended that those that joined him not leave again, a condition of their entry. But leave they did. Life moved on. It left him feeling weary and tired, sick of a weight on his shoulders. "Will you come with me, Zee? Will you let me take you on a holiday, just the two of us? Walk away from leadership?"

Zee was not blind to how difficult the admittance was for the warlord, and knowing how much of his stresses revolved around her only made her feel worse for her part in his exhaustion. Her ears fell back against her skull and she sighed. "There is always something." She agreed softly. "A holiday sounds nice, though I don't know how long I'll be able to handle staying away. They may be old enough now that they don't need me, but I still need them." Zee supposed a trip to Auster couldn't be all bad, she'd be able to finally visit Tamsyn and could escape the winter's chill for a season or so. She barely had to think about leaving leadership behind - after all, she felt very little like an alpha since she'd returned - but would it be so easy for Sirius? "I would come with you, but do you think Mort and Az are ready for this? Can you put your pack in their hands without going insane with worry?" "Speech"

He thought a holiday might be right for his Wife, but as he looked at the worry on her face and her admittance that she needed her kids, he wondered if he was going about this the wrong way. Maybe she needed a break from leadership, but not her kids. How to find a balance that would help her heal without feeling like she was being pushed aside from the pack she helped to create?

"I'm not sure." He admitted softly at her question. "Perhaps it is too early, with our youngest litter not yet two. Perhaps I need to step up the training of Mortis and Azure, cycle them through leadership and the responsibilities with it." He mused, thinking out loud, before putting down his tea, and studying the cup quietly. "I'm worried about you, Zee. I'm worried what we are doing isn't helping you. What do you want, right now? What would help you heal."

Sirius put down the tea and Zee reached her paw forward, gently snaking the cup and holding it's warmth between her paws. He was posing these questions to her for a decision, but Zee felt less capable of making important decisions as days past. She frowned down at the liquid, wondering absently if tea-leaf reading had any truth to it and if she should keep the cup to show to a witch later. After all, she'd take any insight she could get into what was going on with her mind and body lately. "I think Mort and Az would appreciate that." Her small head nodded, musing along with him. "I don't know what I want. To sleep, mostly. To rebuild those bonds with my children before it's too late. It's difficult juggling my attention between the kids and the strangers I now command. I haven't even learned the names of some of these new wolves." So much had changed in the Armada over the seasons and she was struggling to keep up, when every moment spent with a new soldier was a moment less spent with her children or resting her weary body. "Speech"

He reached a paw to touch against hers as she reached forward to snag the cup. He didn't stop her from pulling the cup closer to her, but he did glance down to hide a smile. "Then it's decided." He agreed, he would call thr boys to himlater that day to let them know there schedules were getting busier. The work would be good for them.

As she spoke of juggling work and her children, he looked up again. Searching for her gaze. "You are, and always will be my Queen. But perhaps we should revise your role a little. Put Mortis in charge of newer recruits, and Azure in charge of border safety. Have your priority be the younger generation. Molding and teaching them in which ever direction they seek." Whicb would free up her time to spend with their young litter. Making it an official capacity, something to work towards. His eyes glanced across her features, wondering if she would wish to accept this change.