When you lose something you can’t replace
Grim
They had locked her mother in the dungeons.
Daphne’s stomach still knotted when she thought about it. How? And why? Why had they let it happen? After Ulric had called the meeting to let them know he was taking over the pack, the girl had begun to slip out more and more, until she just stopped going back altogether. Bo was missing, and it didn’t seem like anyone was worried about trying to find her, not even their own brothers… in such a short timeframe her heart had been shattered into a million tiny pieces and to think… The Hallows had been meant as a place of healing. She was too numb to feel happiness anymore… most of the time she just felt tired, but sleeping was a struggle. She was often plagued by nightmares.
As the days grew shorter and the wind cut colder, there was only one place the dark girl could think to go. If she didn’t find somewhere warm to stay, she wasn’t sure she would last the winter. It was just like she remembered it, though not enough joy remained in her to show it. Her paws dragged through the shallow stream that flowed off the hot springs proper and rather than wander into the abandoned healers hut, she simply flopped, a small splash going up around her, though the sulphurous water barely came half way up her ribs across the deepest part of the stream. She remembered playing here with Bowen, trading a pretty green stone for bugs for Pandora. Her long suffering raccoon was waddling up behind her now. Trying to shoo her out of the water before she caught her death with the sun going down. But the only reply the giant girl could give was a sigh. She was too tired to take another step, and the water was so warm.
"speech".
"Speech!"
Training within the strong walls of the Armada had been good for the young man. Muscles began to strengthen, showing themselves along the sharp angles of his masculine frame as did his mind. No longer did he dwell on the past and now focused on what was ahead of him. If he did well, perhaps the Armada would remain his home. He could see himself here, settling and fitting in with the others. It was becoming more like a home to him then anywhere else ever did.
He found himself outside of the pack today however and journeyed the short distance between the Armada and the Hallows old stomping grounds. He never had much fondness for the hot springs, but he was a pup then and going through more than any pup should. He wanted to see the hot springs again, with a fresh mind. With the cooler northern weather starting to settle in, maybe the springs would be a nice reprieve. The warm waters were good for his growing muscles, after all.
Although the springs smelt familiar, it was a little too familiar. Something about the scent seemed fresh more than familiar really and so he followed it blindly, keeping his eyes open and watching. Someone was here, and for some reason he wasn't sure if he recognized it or not. Old huts and dens still remained, though were falling apart from seasons of neglect. He paused and looked around, tail falling limp at his heels as he frowned taking in what had become of where he once lived. Had he not stopped, however, he likely would have missed the small white animal sneaking into one of the abandoned healers huts.
Quietly he began to move towards the hut, slowing his pace as he approached. The scent was much stronger now and suddenly far more familiar, but he couldn't place it. Shoving himself through the entrance, mercury eyes focused before seeing the girl flopped into the stream beneath them. "Daphne?"
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It was his scent that gave hime away. She wouldn’t have recognised his voice, it had deepened so much since they’d last seen each other. Mismatched eyes cracked open, ears turning forward, as she took in the wolf her almost-brother had become. Daphne had a wry smirk on her face as a bitter tone worked it’s way from her lips. "Grim? Am I dead then? Is Bo’s ghost here too?" She managed a tired chuckle. Made sense that they’d all come back here she supposed. It was more a home to them than the draughty old castle had ever been. Maybe if they never left, they’d still have both their ma’s. She reached out with a paw, stretching forward, the healing waters offering her an almost second wind, at least loosening up her tired muscles enough that she could shakily push herself back up into a stand on tired, splayed legs.
Unceremoniously, she shook, showering them both with the smelly spring water, but they’d always been told it was good for them. Her tail even managed a wag as she took a hesitant step forward, still not convinced the vision wouldn’t dissipate with the next gust of wind. She’d kind of gotten used to that happening.
"speech".
"Speech!"
What had happened to her? A frown tugged at the corners of his dark lips and silver eyes scanned her weak body. His sister wasn't much smaller than him, if any, but the condition she was in now made her look so small. It reminded him of Bowen before she even brought their lost sister up. His frown remained, only his gazed hardened as she voiced her name. He looked away from Daphne then, trying not to feel the emotions he felt when she crept back into his thoughts and memories. After a moment, all he could form was a near-silent "No."
As she shook the water from her pelt from some kind of second wind, Grimshaws lips curled as he turned his face and upper body away from the onslaught. He followed with his own shake, calm and collected before looking around the abandoned hut she'd taken shelter in. This was no place to rest and recover. She would certainly fall ill to pneumonia or something similar, destined to meet a grim fate. "We need to get you someplace dry. I'm staying in the Armada now. We'll see with Sirius if you can stay, at least for now." He cast her a glance after he finished, not really leaving much room for debate. Whether she would stay in the Armada was her choice, or perhaps Sirius would want to send her back home to the Hallows. Either way, Daphne couldn't stay here. Grimshaw wouldn't allow it.
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When he said no, Daphne couldn’t stop her head from dropping, shoulders slumping in defeat, but she didn’t want Grim to feel bad either so she closed the distance between them to wrap him in a hug, burying her head against his chest as he talked about getting her somewhere warm… about going to the Armada to see Sirius. Anxiety spiked in her chest, and her lip pulled down in worry as she pulled back to look her adopted brother in the eye. "Don’t let’em send me back Grim. That fuckin’ castle’s cursed." Her breath was coming short and sharp, a wild look working its way into her mismatched eyes. "Promise me Grim..." She set her feet stubbornly, she wasn’t taking a step until she knew it wasn’t leading back to that fucking castle.
"speech".
"Speech!"
The hug was reassuring and welcomed warmly as he returned the gesture, grateful for her compassion. She pulled back some as she exclaimed about the castle, calling it cursed, and begging not to go back. He couldn't promise Sirius wouldn't pressure to have her return home, what with two other of her siblings residing there currently. Artorias, at least, would only be temporary. A small sigh left his perma-frown as he caught her mismatched eyes. He couldn't make promises, but he could at least do his best. He pulled her into a hug again before speaking softly.
"If you promise to me and to Sirius that you will train alongside the other students, then I don't think you have anything to worry about. But it's not easy. It's a lot of sparring, scouting, hunting, it's work." He didn't want to lie to her, life in the Armada was tough.
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His hug softened the blow of his lack of promise, and she buried her face back in the fur beneath his throat, but her jaw clenched stubbornly regardless and she sniffed. Nothing to worry about… Yeah, sure…, but cynicism didn’t come naturally to her and honestly, the reassurance of his presence alone was enough to take some of the edge off her bitterness.
When he seemed to be trying to put her off with his talk of work she scoffed. As if she had ever run away from a day of work in her life. "Sparring actually sounds really good about now… well, y’know… once I’ve slept…" She laughed weakly, her growling stomach grumbling over the sound. It was then that Pandora returned with some late season berries and shoved them under Daphne’s face, grumbling and chittering to herself as she waddled back and forth along the stream banks, no doubt bemoaning the lack of fish in the hotter water from the springs.
Daphne took one of the berries between her teeth, her nose wrinkling at the bitterness of the juice that burst over her tongue. "Want some?" she offered to Grim, not expecting him to show much interest. She was only eating them out of necessity. "I seem to remember it’s a bit of a hike to the Armada?" Or maybe it wasn’t now she had grown into her paws… She’d been so young when they left here.
"speech".
"Speech!"
He knew that she wasn't afraid of a good spar or a little work, he just wanted her to be prepared. Sirius wasn't easy on the students and expected hard work and dedication in return to the lessons they got. It was an honor really, and he wanted to make sure that she would understand and do her part to not make him look bad. Besides, it has been a long time since he's seen his sister. He didn't know what she could and couldn't handle.
She broke away from their hug and her little raccoon returned with something for Daphne to eat. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing. He couldn't expect the small animal to return with a deer after all. When offered the berries, Grim turned his head with a disgusted curl of his lip baring his double fangs as if his puppy teeth had never fallen out. "No, thank you." Grimshaw had really always favored protein over other options, and even more so now within the armada. Protein was important for muscle growth, berries not so much.
When she brought up the journey to the armada, he wondered a moment. It hadn't taken him long to get here really, but it might be quite the effort for Daphne in her current state. He would suggest to stay here if the conditions were well and dry, however he suspected the other abandoned huts came to the same if not similar fate as the one she had chosen. Their only option was to make the hike to the armada tonight, and as soon as possible. He didn't want to bring her across the borders without first consulting Sirius. "It's not as far as you think, but it will be quite exhausting as your are. If you get weak, I'll carry you, but we need to get you to a healer and get some real food in you sooner rather than later." His voice was level, but authoritative. They couldn't stay here. Daphne rivaled him in height, but she was weak and thin. If she managed the majority of the travel, then he could manage carrying her for the rest if it meant she'd be safe.
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When Grim offered to carry her she pulled a face, then laughed. "You were always the only one that stood a chance of managing it." she managed a half-wistful smile, but was determined that if she was going to the Armada she was going to get there on her own four feet. She bowed down in a stretch for good measure, feeling the muscles along the fronts of her legs and into her shoulders protest, her thighs and hips voicing their complaints in turn. She could push it down for now. She was almost somewhere safe.
"I’m really glad it was you that found me Grim." She responded genuinely, bringing her mismatched eyes to meet his silver. "It’s this way right?" She nodded to the south-west and began to take a few steps forward. The day wasn’t getting any longer, and he had mentioned a decent meal. If that wasn’t motivation, then nothing would ever get her moving.
"speech".
"Speech!"
Grimshaw smiled at her with her comment, knowing he and she were the largest of the children. Of course, Grim wasn't related, but he and Daphne at least shared their height in common. She would be easy to carry, especially now, but she was adamant on walking herself back to the Armada and he wouldn't argue. Regardless, they needed to get going. He was about to leave when she spoke again, causing him to pause and turn to look at her while she finished her words. Why was she glad it was him? He wasn't around during their younger days, Artorias made him even more painfully aware of that. They hardly had spent any time together either, so certainly she was only saying it because he was here. She probably wished it was someone else that had found her, but in an effort to not seem rude, feigned appreciation for him instead.
"Why?" He asked suddenly, before thinking and even realizing he asked. He didn't even process the question she asked afterwards, the directions meaning little to him despite his adamance moments before. He wanted to know why she was glad it was him, although he couldn't keep his molten silver gaze from catching her bi-colored one and searching for answers, even ones he didn't want.
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Mismatched eyes fell on her brother at his question, scrunching her muzzle and pulling a face as if to say Duh,. Her head cocking as she really considered how to put it into words. "You never had any grand expectations for me." Her nose twitched as she tried to take a steadying breath. "Art and Rudy were always so…" She pulled another face, "y’know…. so…" If she had arms she would have been broadly gesturing, "Full of ‘emselves? They’d never get it, how much I don’t wanna go back. How much I just… can’t." She tried to take a steadying breath, but it just put her hackles on edge. She was so angry about it all. "They locked her in the dungeon, Grim, in a fucking cage." She blew out a rapid breath in attempt to fight back the tears that she thought she had long since cried out. She suddenly became very interested in something up in the sky.
Once she thought she had her feelings beat back down into the battered box she tried to keep them in, she forced a smile that was just a little too bright. "You don’t expect me to be more than I am." She finally answered, tipping her head in the direction she thought the Armada was with a lifted brow in question.
"speech".
"Who was I to judge you, or any of y'all? Resin brought me home out of guilt, it wasn't because y'all were dying for another brother." He tried to make humor, to make her laugh with his own pain. He was quick to change the subject however, agreeing that Rudy and Artorias could be quite difficult. He hadn't seen Rudy in months, since before he left even, but at least he and Artorias had made amends. Maybe one day he would find himself back in the hallows, serving him instead. He didn't think it was a very good chance, a conflict of interests mostly on his part, but maybe. Who knew what he would become as an adult, how he'd change. "Rudy and Artorias are... difficult. But they're you're brothers. I'm sure they'd understand." He couldn't be sure, really. Artorias had been understanding when he had said what he had been feeling, but he might not feel the same about Daphne's reasoning. He wasn't the blue boy, so he couldn't promise Daphne would have the same result.
She brought up the inevitable, about how Resin had been locked up by the pack. He hadn't been around to witness the things he'd heard about, but he was sure Ulric and Tamsyn wouldn't have stood for anything less than what was absolutely necessary. Resin was a powerful woman, a cage was probably the only thing keeping her from sinking her fangs and claws into anyone else. Had Daphne seen Tamsyn and the scars?
"I know, but I'm sure they had their reasons, Daph. Remember how strong she was? She hurt Tamsyn, I'm sure if there was a better way they would have done it." As far as he was aware, he was the only one to not have seen Resin in her chambers, locked away. He wasn't sure how he felt. Part of him wished he had, but he knew how much of a disappointment he had been. He didn't want any of her last thoughts to be exactly what Daphne was telling to him now.
Something had caught her attention skyward for a moment and he paused to glance upwards a moment before settling his silver gaze back on her. "Of course not, Daphne. We are who we make of ourselves. We cannot be what we aren't and there's no use in trying to change that." Whatever philosophical bug bit his butt was quick to leave and he nodded once, eager to get to the Armada.
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